The World Can Wait
by Lady Domino
Summary: A long long time ago the young warrior Alloran-Semitur-Corrass fell in love with the beautiful Jahar. Tired of waiting for him to come home, she sets out to reclaim her husband from the clutches of Esplin 9466. Complete
1. Chapter 1

It's been years since I last wrote anything, so this is just something I'm using to help me get through the crushing piles of work. Please let me know what you think. :)

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**Chapter 1**

My name is Jahar Nyleria Teldon. I am an Andalite, I have two children and a husband who lives as a slave millions of miles away. And after that introduction most Andalites will find some reason to leave. As if that is all there is to me. I am the wife of a disgraced war prince, a prince who then had the lack of consideration to allow himself to be enslaved by a yeerk and thus became even more of an embarrassment to the Andalite race. I live with a cloud of censor over my head, tinted with threads of pity. My son trained as an Andalite aristh, and is old enough to realise that he will never be allowed to be a prince. My daughter is a bitter, introverted female who knows she will never find a mate.

For years and years I held onto the hope that one day news would come that my mate was freed, and racing back to me. After a while the dreams began to dim. Even news that he had been shot down, that his misery was ended would have been a relief. The only news I ever received was of his continuing monstrosities. Again and again my loving, clever, brave husband was used to commit the foulest atrocities. And then the news came. War Prince Elfangor Sirinial Shamtul, the beacon of the Andalite people, the shining hope for our race was dead. Worse. He had been slain by my husband.

And along with that crushing news came a tendril of hope. My mate, my own dear Alloran sent me a message. Somehow he found a chance to freely express himself. To send me news of his love and his hope for freedom.

I decided that very day to leave the home world. It would soon become public knowledge that my mate had participated, however unwillingly, in the murder of Elfangor, and then I would be shunned even further. And also, now I was tired of waiting. I had waited for years for the male warriors to bring my mate home, and they had failed. I suppose I had realised a long time ago that they weren't even trying, realised when I started hoping for news of his death.

Not any more.

I knew where he was now. A planet called Earth. I would go to that planet. I would rescue Alloran, or die trying.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to the gorgeous Birdie num num and metamorphstorm for the reviews already. Major hugs to you both! And yes, the first chapter was short, but it was meant to be more of a draw-you-in than scene setting chapter.

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**Chapter 2**

_Many years ago…_

The summer seasons covered the Andalite home world with the sweet blossoms of the thick growing grasses, waving in the gentle breeze. As Jahar galloped wildly over the sea of pink, her hooves kicked up great clouds of blossom.

_Slow down!_ Alloran cried as he raced after her. _I've been on a ship the last three months! I can't run._

_Push yourself_, she called back. _It's good for you. Otherwise you'll get fat!_

_Fat?_ He screamed. _I'll show you fat!_ With an extra effort he closed the gap between them and leapt, bringing them both down in an undignified tangle of legs and tail. Jahar sneezed as blossoms filled her nose.

_Get off me this instant! What would Arbat say?_ Alloran raised his upper torso, leaning on his elbows, but refused to move. He tipped his head and smiled mockingly.

_Arbat? He'd probably splutter a lot and challenge me to a duel to the death_. Jahar giggled at the thought of her fiancée puffing himself up self importantly and demanding that his brother atone for all his misdeeds. _Besides_, Alloran said lazily, _I'll get up if you want me to. _Jahar considered rising, but the ground was delightfully warm from the long hours of sunlight, and the grass cushioned her, so she stretched out her arms and lay back contentedly.

_Perhaps I shall just ignore you and go to sleep._

_Ignore me at your peril female!_ Alloran cried with mock wrath. _Have you not heard that I have been made war prince? You can not treat a war prince so callously._ She smiled and closed all four eyes.

_Watch me__, war prince. _

Alloran always had very limited patience. He endured thirty Andalite heartbeats of her lying there as if napping in the sunlight, before giving her a light slap with his tail.

_Wake up female! Now!_ Lazily she opened her left stalk eye and swivelled it to face him.

_That wasn't very nice of you._ He groaned and tapped her gently again.

_You're ignoring me! You promised you'd take me to see your friend, Vitana, and instead you're sleeping._

_You're on top of me_, she pointed out. He sighed and rolled off her, standing up and shaking the flowers off his back.

_Look, I'm up. Now can we go?_ She made a point of stretching luxuriantly and standing up as slowly as possible. _Infuriating female_, Alloran snarled, half annoyed. _I don't even know why my brother's marrying you._ She giggled at that, running her fingers through her short blue and tan fur to catch stray petals.

_I'm nice to Arbat. I like him. H__e never snaps at me or tackles me to the ground._ She turned towards Vitana's family land and picked up a gentle trot. Alloran loped beside her.

_No, all Arbat does is waste his days in his labs, poring over formulae__,_ he said.

_He's a great scientist_, she replied, annoyed. Alloran snorted.

_Scientists? We always need a few, I'm sure, but why be one when you could serve your people in the front line?_

_We're not actually at war, you know, _Jahar pointed out tetchily. _Although if they're promoting trigger happy males like you as princes then we soon will be_.

_Oh, what would you know, female_? Alloran snapped grumpily, and she was surprised how stung she was by his temper.

Vitana was waiting for them on the borders of her family land, and Jahar stole a glance at Alloran to see how he reacted to her beautiful friend. She knew the main reason he was here was his desire to find a mate (he never could bear to be left behind by his brother!), and Vitana was certainly a possibility.

_Jahar!_ Her friend cried, cantering towards them.

_Vitana! _Jahar shouted back, admiring the grace in the other's movement. Vitana halted in front of them, and bowed low to Alloran.

_Forgive me, warrior, but I do not know your name._ Alloran looked pleased, and inclined his head back to her.

_My name is war prince Alloran Simitur Corrass._

_He's Arbat's brother,_ Jahar explained. Vitana shot her a slightly quizzical look as she stood up fully again. _Alloran is home on leave_, Jahar continued. _And he is looking for a mate_, she added in private thought speak. Vitana blushed slightly, the faintest hint of a darker blue spreading across her face.

_And you brought him to my fields_, she mocked playfully, still in private thought speak.

_Stop being rude and talk to him_, Jahar replied, slightly moodily. Vitana turned to the male, who stood there slightly awkwardly.

_War prince Alloran, are you hungry? We have a field of Ordin grass which is very sweet at this time, or I could offer you some illsipar roots. _Alloran's expression went from awkward to rabid in record time.

_Real __illsipar roots?_ He asked cautiously, practically trembling. Vitana nodded.

_We can only have them rarely of course, but I believe that our current ones are ripe__. If you would like to follow me._ She turned and started trotting away, and Alloran followed, still in a slightly dream-like state.

She's got him, Jahar thought, with approval. Alloran was not a complicated creature – a brave warrior, a playful brother and easy to tempt when illsipar roots where on offer. The two of them made a good couple too, when observed in the brilliant sunlight. Vitana was small, even for a female, and delicate, with dainty hooves and slim fingers. Her tail blade was tiny, more a needle than a blade, her tail slim and elegantly carried, her features fine. Alloran was the perfect compliment: a slightly larger male than usual, with steel blue fur and taut muscles. His tail was carried higher, more proudly than Arbat's ever was, and he had more of a fighter's stance to him. He stood about a head higher than Vitana, so that he could probably rest his chin on her head should he so wish to, or she could lean in to rest on his chest. Side by side, they were very handsome.

Jahar followed the pair of them at a polite distance, although they didn't really seem to be talking unless they were using private speech. But then she and Arbat didn't speak so much… he always wanted to tell her about his latest experiment, and she had tried to show interest but her lack of it had grown too obvious, and he kept quiet now. Still, she was sure that once they were together she would enter more into his world of science and it would become as fascinating for her as it clearly was for him.

Still, it was easier to talk to Alloran, and she was going to miss him when he left on his new flight. But that was the problem with warriors: they always flew away and left their wives to wile away the long hours at home minding the children. No, she was much better off with Arbat, who would always be around, always ready to talk.

Sometimes Jahar really did wish he'd find something new to talk about.


	3. Chapter 3

Cuddles to all who review, now and at a later date. If anyone's wondering, it is meant to alternate between first person and third person. First person for the present, third for the past. This is mainly because Jahar feels so detached from the past that it's like she's watching another andalite doing those things, whereas everything in the present feels far more real and immediate. I always thought Jahar had one of the saddest stories in K. A. Applegate's universe, so that is why I'm writing this.

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Chapter 3

After having actually made the decision to go to Earth I could have found enough things to prevent me to last a lifetime. I had no ship, no crew, no idea of how to get there and no plan once I did. There was no way the Andalite command was ever, ever going to sanction what was most likely a suicide mission, so I could not use official channels to get anything I needed. Which was a little difficult, considering the fact that all my friends and connections who might have been able to help had gradually melted away over the years. To be honest, the only thing left to me was immediate family, the one set of people who could not disown me.

It was tempting to give up almost immediately. I had spent years and years in inactivity and lassitude, waiting for events to happen without lifting a finger to aid them. Coaxing myself to life took effort, but now that I had reached my resolution the knowledge of it burned like a glowing ember inside me, activating me, forcing energy into my limbs. I barely slept that night, and in the morning was so full of nervous energy that after completing the morning rituals, I had to extend my usual gallop.

I tackled Farling first, my son. He was staying at home, on 'extended leave'. It had now been extended for three seasons. He was duelling a hologram when I returned from my morning gallop, but switched it off when he saw me.

_Good morning mother._ Dull, formal. An uninterested Andalite stuck in an uninteresting life in an uninteresting scoop. I hesitated, unsure how he would react, but then, pushed on with the direct approach.

_Farling__, I have come to a decision. I have discovered that your father is currently being kept on Earth and I have decided to go to this planet and attempt to free him._ The words came in a rush, tumbling from my clumsy, agitated mind. Farling looked shocked. See, we never talk about his father. He probably hadn't even heard Alloran's name for five seasons.

_Are you sure, mother?_ he asked. _Earth is a very long way away, and this will never be officially sanctioned. _Was I sure? Yes, yes I was. I should have gone to him years ago.

_I have reached this decision after much thought, __Farling. The Andalite army has abandoned your father_. I paused, then placed the barb. _As they have abandoned you._ Was it unethical to provoke him like that? I needed my son to come to Earth with me, and he was old enough to know the truth. Farling jerked as if struck.

_There was no need for that, mother._ His voice was reproachful. _I would have come with you anyway, even without you goading me._ I smiled, the weak triumph flitting across my eyes.

_Forgive me, Farling. I have almost given up on Andalites as a whole. I will remember in future that I can rely on you._ He rose and walked over to me, arching his tail blade forwards. I touched it with mine – an Andalite warrior greeting.

_Of course I will come, mother_, he said._ I believe we should have gone years ago. We will fight for him, even if no one else will_. Triumph and misery battled in me, at the thought that this aristh was so willing to follow me to almost certain death.

_Thank you_, I whispered. I reached down and stroked his cheek affectionately, and he leaned in for the brief kiss.

With the knowledge that Farling was with me I felt braver, and stronger. He left me, to talk with some of his friends, other arisths who were brave enough to speak to him despite his disgrace. I didn't know what he could truly achieve, but left him to it. _I'm coming, love, I'm coming_. How far could thought speak travel? No one truly knew, but maybe, just maybe, far, far away my mate would hear the whisper. I closed all four eyes as the wind blew grass scents across the fields and tried to picture him, tried to remember him, not just see the holofilms I had but to really remember him. I remembered a sunny day, so many years ago, when he had caught me in the pink blossoms…

_Mother? Have I offended you?_ I jerked out of my reverie and cursed. It would not do to be caught unawares on such a perilous mission! Turning around, I was faced with my only daughter. It always made my hearts break to see her, forever slumping, forever empty, forever without pride. When was the last time my daughter had smiled?

_No of course you haven't. Why do you believe I have?_ She took a step forward, and there was real anger in her voice.

_You asked __Farling to go with you to Earth. You're taking him, mother, and yet you never asked me._ _Why not? Why do you not want me to go?_ I hesitated, struggling. Why had I not thought to ask her? Because she was a female? But then, so was I… It is very difficult for Andalites to apologise, but I forced myself to.

_I apologise, Tirdellan. I should have asked you at the same time I did your brother. It was simply that I did not know if you would wish to risk your life. _

_I have nothing to lose_, she said simply. Her eyes were dull again, the animating spark of anger gone. _You are going to Earth to fight Visser Three, aren't you? You'll need whoever you can find to help you. There won't be many willing._

_I am aware of that,_ I said quietly. She stepped forward.

_You'll need a ship too. And clearance to leave the home planet. Where are we to get those, mother? _

_Get your brother, _I ordered her. _Both of you, come to the main scoop, and we'll see what can be done._

Maybe we weren't as bereft of aid as I had allowed myself to believe in my self pity. When Farling came he brought with him two other arisths, both about his size.

_This is Lortif Annalan Gendar and Medrar Peritur Shorness, _he said, indicating each one. _They have agreed to help us._

_You told others about what we were doing? _Tirdellan asked angrily. _How many others? You'll get us in trouble with the high command, you fool._

_I only told friends I trust,_ snapped Farling, stung. I stepped forwards to intervene.

_How many others __Farling?_

_Just these two_, he replied sulkily. _And I trust them. Lortif is my shorm._ Tirdellan kicked her hoof in derision, but I chose to ignore it. I smiled a welcome at the two arisths, Lortif standing proudly beside my son's side, Medrar looking more wary.

_Then you are both welcome._I paused, uncertain. I didn't want to lie to these young warriors, but also didn't wish to frighten them away. In the end I settled for the truth._ I assume that you are both aware that we are going to the planet Earth to liberate Farling's father. I warn you now, the path we have chosen is not the road to glory. You may face disgrace or death, lost on a hostile planet. You will be called deserters, as you will have to leave your current crews and come away with no explanation. _ The two of them shifted uncomfortably, and then Farling touched Lortif's shoulder with his tail blade very gently.

_I will go with __Farling to the end of the galaxies, _Lortif said bravely, and I almost laughed at the ridiculousness of this puffed up aristh, but then did that make me ridiculous since these were my only allies?

_Me__drar?_ I prompted.

_I am the second son, and my brother earns enough glory to satiate my family, _Medrar said quietly. _I will aid Farling for as long as he wishes me to._

_Then you both have my thanks,_ I said. Tirdellan sniffed crossly, but didn't say anything.

Now that Lortif and Medrar were with us the meeting felt more like a war council than a family discussion, and so I felt happier giving commands and dividing up duties. Tirdellan was always a very capable morpher, so I ordered her to go out and acquire as many morphs as she could within the next few days, so that we would have a range of options for stealth approaches. Moreover, as a female, she had never been trained in combat, and I far preferred to assign her the role of spy than fighter. Lortif, Medrar and Farling I sent to acquire shredders and other weapons. And I myself set out to find us a ship.

I had rarely spoken to my brother-in-law Arbat since our last terrible disagreement so many years ago, so it was with trepidation that I set out for his lands. He lived a fair way away, so I took our small ship (only designed for journeys within the home planet's atmosphere), and our initial meeting did not happen in person but over the intercom as I requested permission to land. Arbat's face filled my communications screen, his eyes wide with shock.

_Jahar? This is a most unexpected surprise._

_May I have permission to land? _I asked again, refusing to say too much before I was physically before him. He hesitated, then acquiesced.

_Yes, certainly. The field with the Cairderl trees in the top corner. _As I located the field and set the ship down I saw him come trotting out of his scoop. He took less time to reach the ship than I thought he would, so when the door slid open I jumped slightly to see him right in front of me.

_Welcome__ back to my lands, Jahar_, Arbat said by way of greeting, holding out his left hand to me. I took it and stepped down, out of the ship, tasting his grass with my hooves. It was very sweet, just as I remembered it.

_Thank you for your welcome, Arbat. It has been too long since we last saw each other._

_Indeed_, he replied, and his eyes scanned my face a little too closely for comfort. _The years have not treated you well, my dear Jahar. _Subconsciously I raised my free hand to my face, and he laughed. _No, no, you are as beautiful as ever, I'm sure. I speak of your sufferings and misery. _I pulled back, uncomfortable, withdrawing my hand from his grip.

_That is the reason I am here, Arbat. _He frowned an andalite frown, his eyes darkening a little.

_Not just to __talk about old times then? _I winced as he continued, his thought speak bitter. _Perhaps that would not make such pleasant conversation._

_I am sorry we parted on bad terms, Arbat. I would like it if we could consider each other friends now. _I waited, uncertain, and then Arbat relaxed and executed a small mock bow.

_As always, my dear Jahar, we __shall do it your way. I shall be civil, on the condition you tell me why you are here. _I took a few deep breaths, to try and relax and work myself up to asking such a large favour from one who clearly had not forgiven my past behaviour, but when he saw I was having difficulties he gestured for me to follow, and picked up a slow trot across the field. I felt better, running by his side, and the pleasure of running with a male again was a surprise to me. How I'd missed this: the company, the sound of another pair of hooves drumming the ground beside me, instead of my own lonely hoof beats echoing across the meadows. Arbat moderated his pace to suit my own, speeding up to keep easy time beside me.

_Now, Jahar, what was it you wanted? There is really very little I can actually give you. After all, I am only an old scientist fiddling in his labs. _I laughed a little at that.

_A highly successful scientist whom the andalite high command keeps regular tabs on, Arbat. __And one whom I hear has been offered on multiple times the position of Intelligence Advisor. _He inclined his head modestly.

_Perhaps.__ But flying off and fighting is not for me. I prefer the purity of science. Some of my latest projects have been of interest to the high command, but I'm still looking for a way to leave my name in history. _

_Just be careful it's not in the same way your brother has_, I whispered, but I don't think he heard me. I turned to face him, and for a second a vision of what might have been flashed before me. I could have stayed with Arbat, and as my mate, he would never have left me. I'd have him around every day, instead of the years of emptiness. There would have been no glory, as there had been at the dazzling start to Alloran's promising career, but also no fall, and no shame. It would have been very peaceful. Crossly I shook the clouds of 'what if' out of my head and slowed down to an ambling walk.

_Arbat, do you still have that old ship you acquired __from your father? _Arbat looked surprised, but drew himself up a little.

_The Starwave is no 'old ship', Jahar. I have converted her so that she __either equals or surpasses any other ship you can find, and can outfly most of them. _I smiled a little at his indignation, but also a wave of sadness rocked me as I remembered Alloran and Arbat comparing their ships when they were still young. Alloran had named his _The Jahar_ to infuriate Arbat, whilst I was still meant to marry him, but Arbat's ego was soothed when they raced them twice around the home planet and his Starwave won easily.

_Tell me, __ what would it take for me to be able to borrow her? _I asked cautiously. Arbat tilted his head curiously.

_To fly to the moons, or on a slightly longer trip? _I paused, and then replied.

_To fly to Earth._

_To Alloran_, he finished, understanding instantly. We stood there in silence, under the Cairderl trees with the breeze lifting their branches and their whispering filling the air. I left him, and stepped forward, placing my hand on the bark of the nearest tree. It was warm to my touch, and for just a second I allowed a drop of my frustration and misery to flow from me into that reassuring wood. Arbat's touch on my shoulder interrupted me, and I spun around to face him. He scrutinised my face again, but less piercingly than before, and more as if he was searching for something that was no longer there. _Oh Jahar_, he whispered. _Even after these years I still feel you could bring me to my knees. _I tensed, wanting to break away, but managed to stay still through a supreme effort of self control. I had forgotten how intense Arbat could be, when he wasn't mocking the world or waxing lyrical about his latest experiment. In a rare moment of openness, he lifted his hand as if to stroke my cheek in a kiss, but then let it drop again and heaved a very deep sigh, which shook him so much I wondered if he really would fall to his knees. Finally he spoke: _I would come with you if you asked, but I know you will not. Take the Starwave. _Instantly I clasped his hand in mine.

_Thank you Arbat. Thank you so much. _He brought his free hand over my top one, covering it, and lifting it to his cheek, brought it against the soft fur of his face. _This is goodbye, I suppose_, I said, a little awkwardly. A soft, sad smile spread across Arbat's face as he released me and stepped away.

_It has been goodbye for a very long time Jahar._


	4. Chapter 4

Hello hello! These are coming out so fast - I'm just overflowing with ideas! Picture a field, brimming with happy plot bunnies bouncing around. Enjoy it whilst it lasts. :)

This is another chapter from the past. I love writing them!

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**Chapter 4**

_Many years ago..._

_So, tell me, Vitana, what did you think?_ Jahar asked as she waded in to knee depth. They had borrowed Arbat's prize and glory, his ship, the Starwave, and flown it to the coast of Lake Stilena. The cool purple water washed up to her shoulders as she walked in deeper, and then she pushed off and began swimming, the dark depths rolling mysteriously beneath her. Vitana snorted and tossed her lovely head, then huffed as water trickled into her ears.

_I think __that this water is very cold,_ she replied playfully. Jahar groaned.

_No, what do you think of Arbat's brother?_

_You're a very nosy Andalite_, Vitana replied abruptly.

_So you won't tell me what you thought of my friend?_ Jahar asked, adopting a huffy tone. Vitana laughed and splashed water at her friend's head.

_You know fully well you did not bring him to my lands as a __'friend'._

_I don't understand why you're being so difficult_, Jahar snipped. She was somewhat hurt that Vitana did not seem more grateful for the fact that Jahar had brought a not unattractive and very available male to her scoop. What more could a female want?

_I dislike your assumption that I require males to be paraded in front of me and am incapable of finding my own, _Vitana wailed dramatically. _You made me look and feel like a fool. _ Jahar sighed at her friend's petulance.

_My bringing Alloran to you was supposed to be a favour, not a comment on your abilities to find your own mate_, she said crossly. _I just know that he would make a good mate, and I wanted that for you. If you wish I will never bring a male your way again. _Vitana remained silent and moody for a while longer and then laughed, lost her concentration and slipped beneath the surface by accident.

_Vitana!_

_I'm fine, _she giggled, coming to the surface and spluttering. _You brought me a male to make me happy. That's very… kind._ Jahar sniggered.

_Well I thought if I waited for you to find your own all my fur would __have turned tan before you could report success. _

_Indeed, _Vitana replied teasingly. _After all, we can't all be lucky enough to have Arbat on his knees for us. _The memory of serious Arbat kneeling before her and imploring her to put him out of his misery and consent to be his mate floated into Jahar's mind, and she stifled further giggles.

_It was extremely dramatic of him. _

_And unconventional! _ Vitana commented. _Have no fear, I'm not expecting anything more than a casual proposal whilst on a gallop._

_Your loss, _was Jahar's only comment.

They turned back to the shallows, and stretching her hooves down Jahar found the sandy lake bottom again. As they climbed out the water trickled in purple streams down her shoulders, and she shook herself, the droplets creating a rainbow halo around her.

_Who's that? _she asked, peering into the distance. A blue shape was moving closer, emerging from the heat haze and defining itself into an Andalite.

_I believe it's your good friend Alloran,_ Vitana said, a little spitefully, but Jahar heard a catch in her thought speak. She glanced over and saw that Vitana looked rather less composed than usual. Inside Jahar smiled. Success. Her friend might protest, but she was clearly already beginning to like Alloran a great deal.

The big Andalite skidded to a halt in front of them, breathing hard, his fur slick with sweat.

_Greetings, Jahar, Vitana. _He inclined his head to them both, and they bowed back.

_Galloped far?_ Jahar asked snidely, eying a trickle of sweat down the left side of his face.

_All the way from my lands_, Alloran replied, his sides still heaving. _You told me to get fitter_, he added in private thought speak to Jahar. She glanced at Vitana, who was standing absolutely silent. That would never do.

_Unless you're waiting for him to fall to his knees, s__ay something intelligent_, she hissed. Vitana paused, fumbling for words, then turned to Alloran.

_Would you like to go for a swim? _she asked eventually. Alloran eyed her damp fur with amusement.

_Another one? _He asked. Again she flushed a little, but then recovered her poise and, smiling, turned and walked slowly back into the water for an answer. Very good, Jahar thought, approving of the way the waves washed elegantly over her friend's flanks, staining them a darker blue. Alloran stared a little, then caught himself and trotted after her, ignoring Jahar. She was surprised at how much this stung, but recovered her good humour when she saw how he practically fell into the water to catch up with her friend.

Whilst they swam and talked Jahar walked across the dunes, tasting the spicy sand, and collected the spiral Berdel shells which littered the ground. And when that got tedious, she knelt in the sand and arranged the shells into whirl patterns and drew in the sand with sticks. And when that primitive exercise failed to amuse anymore she wandered back to the Starwave and started up the computers again. It irked her a little, that Arbat had not been able to find the time to join them on the ship to come to the lake, but Alloran had galloped all the way to see Vitana. Grumpily she began an artistic programme, and started to relax as she drew the graphics together to form a standard Elysathean design, similar to the whirls she had doodled in the sand, but in three dimensions.

When the last sun slid below the horizon Jahar left the ship and performed the evening ritual, before looking for the other two Andalites. The sight of the pair of them stopped her in her tracks: Alloran was kneeling under a Kistorn tree, and Vitana rested against him, leaning her head against his chest, their tails entwined. Again a pang of envy stabbed her, and she resolved to force Arbat to leave his labs more in the future and join her on such excursions. Quietly she trotted up behind them, and Alloran turned his left stalk eye back to follow her movement.

_Trying to sneak up on us? _He asked, amused.

_Has Vitana noticed me yet? _Jahar countered. Alloran glanced down at her and smiled.

_Still fast asleep. Two swims __proved too much I think. _Jahar knelt down and nudged Vitana's shoulder. The Andalite opened her main eyes sleepily and breathed a deep Andalite yawn.

_I was not asleep, _she said grumpily. Alloran laughed, as he stood up, shaking her off.

_Certainly not. You were merely indulging in a very long blink. _She blinked rapidly at that, in embarrassment, and stood up quickly, pulling away from him petulantly. He looked slightly confused as she turned her back to him.

_Would you like to come back in the Starwave? _Jahar offered, sensing an awkwardness in Vitana's silence.

_Yes, _Alloran replied gratefully. _It's rather too far a distance to gallop twice in a day. _

_Although it would keep you fit, _Jahar mocked gently. He snorted, and she turned and cantered back to the Starwave. With her stalk eyes she watched him step towards Vitana, but the female crossly kept her back to him, so he raised his hands in annoyance and came back to join Jahar. After a hesitation Vitana followed moodily, and she avoided meeting either of their gazes on the journey home.

They came to her lands first, and Jahar gently set the Starwave down and opened the door (Arbat would never have sanctioned Alloran being allowed to fly his ship). Alloran dallied by the exit as Vitana walked towards it, and she was forced to stop and raise her main eyes to his.

_I hope today was enjoyable for you_, he said formally. Jahar stepped away, back to the main cockpit, so she didn't hear Vitana's reply, but it clearly wasn't long as Alloran joined her shortly afterwards.

_I'll fly to your family's lands and return the Starwave, then run home, _she proposed. Alloran snorted.

_Then you have a long gallop. Why not let me pilot and I'll drop you off at your scoop and take Arbat's firstborn back to him__? _He moved towards the central panel, but Jahar batted him away with her tail.

_I made Arbat a solemn promise that I would not let you near his baby's controls. _

_He wouldn't have to know! _Alloran cried.

_You might break it._

Alloran looked contrite. _I would never do that, Jahar!_

_Nevertheless, I can not betray my future mate's trust so terribly. _Alloran growled in irritation, but then leant over. When he spoke his thought speak was silky, with a seductive undertone.

_How about I give you a ride home in my new ship? _She set the autopilot and turned to face him.

_What new ship? _she asked suspiciously. He smiled.

_It's a real beauty. I got it three days ago. Specially built to my specifications, and half of it put together by me personally. Interested?_

_That depends, _Jahar replied playfully. _What's her name?_ He shot her a teasing glance.

_Do you know, I haven't given her a name yet? But as she is the most beautiful of her kind, I think I shall call her The Jahar. Does that suit?_ A blush crept over Jahar's face.

_Don't you dare! Arbat will be furious!_ Alloran laughed wickedly.

_But I can't undo it now. The Jahar she remains, and that way both Arbat and I will have our very own Jahar._ Jahar stared at him, shocked at his impropriety, wondering if it was a joke. He was certainly in a humorous mood, but she had a horrible feeling that he was being deadly serious. Finally she said crossly, _War Prince Alloran, I would feel very odd being flown in a ship that bears the same name as me._ Alloran tapped her gently with his tail.

_Fly or walk? There's quite a cold breeze__ outside. _Jahar waved the 'cool breeze' away with a flap of her hand.

_I might ask Arbat for a lift home then._

_If you can prise him out of his lab, _Alloran mocked. She started a retort, but he silenced her by taking her hand. _Can we not fight, just this once? Just let me take you home. _This time the look in his eyes made her certain he was serious. Defeat appeared to be the only option, so she decided to give in with grace.

_Thank you, War prince Alloran. I would be happy to accept your __most kind offer. _


	5. Chapter 5

So, here is chapter 5, and Jahar's actually getting underway after lots of dithering around! Hooray! And hooray for Lortif, who is becoming my favourite character. Huge thanks and hugs to all who reviewed before. Please please leave me comments - they make me very happy :D

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Chapter 5

_Boys and girls, I hope you enjoyed your lunch because you will soon saying hello to it again_, Lortif announced as he gunned the Starwave's main engines. He had taken the central pilot position, but only after he had crawled over nearly every inch of the Starwave cooing in delight. I suppose it's a male thing – I could appreciate that she was beautiful but Lortif had treated her like a new born kafit bird and practically mewled with pleasure when I asked him to fly.

_I thought you were supposed to be a qualified pilot, _Tirdellan said anxiously, grasping a hand bar on the left side of the main cockpit. Lortif smiled.

_Oh I can fly, Tirdellan. Whether I can evade the security ships ringing our planet is quite another matter. That is, of course, unless anyone got us clearance to leave the planet? _He looked around expectantly and silence met him. _I thought not._

_Can you do it then? _I asked crossly, furious that I'd forgotten such a basic thing. In front of him the main screen hummed into life.

_Of course he can, _Farling said proudly. _Lortif is the best pilot the academy has seen for many years. _Lortif inclined his head modestly, but his stalk eyes remained erect, a sure sign he was pleased with my son's praise.

_Computer, prepare for a display of sheer brilliance, _he directed in public thought speak. Medrar groaned.

_Enough with the theatrics, you fool. Just get us going. _

_Would you rather do it? _Lortif asked huffily, but he moved his fingers over the central keypad and blue lights run under them. With a gentle whine the Starwave lifted up, and Lortif stifled with difficulty an answering whinny of pleasure as the ship came alive for him. Through the viewing window I saw great ripples run through the grasses beneath us from our engines. Lortif turned the ship so that it pointed up towards the stars and flexed his fingers.

_Hold on to something, we're going to go quite fast._

_Is that safe? _Tirdellan asked, and I suddenly remembered that she had never left the planet before, had never flown beyond atmosphere 3.

_At this altitude, it's what the textbooks call 'inadvisable'_, Lortif teased, his face deadpan. Tirdellan braced herself against the main bulkhead, legs splayed for greater balanced, and I thought there was probably sense in that. As I wedged myself against the back wall of the cockpit I saw Medrar and Farling take up similar positions. Which was a bit worrying, seeing as they were the ones who had vouched for Lortif's flying skills. Lortif entered ultimate destination co-ordinates into the computer, and then took the joy stick with a look of reverence. He tested it gently, tipping the ship this way and that just a few feet off the ground, and then pointed her skyward again.

_Computer, full speed ahead. _

FWOOOOOM!

I've flown before, to the Yeerk home world with Alloran, and briefly to the Hork Bajir home world, but it had been a long time ago and I'd forgotten the sheer kick of acceleration. Tierdellan stumbled and caught herself against the bulkhead. Farling and Medrar seemed sprayed onto their walls, and even though there was no wind in the cockpit I imagined my fur streaming flat backwards from the forward motion. We rocketed up, towards the bright sky, through a layer of cloud and as I watched the sky darkened and the stars began to grow clearer.

_Leaving atmospheres 2 and 3_, the computer reported in its cool female voice. (I'd always wondered if Arbat had modelled that voice on my own. A disconcerting thought). _Entering atmosphere 1._ The final atmosphere, the final protective band between the Andalite home world and outer space.

The patrol zone.

_Security ship! _ Lortif cried. _Coming in fast. _Somehow Farling and Medrar unpeeled themselves from the walls and took positions on either side of Lortif. Looking decidedly uncertain, Farling picked up the weapon controls.

_If we could avoid shooting them, that would be preferable, _I said. Yes I was angry with my people. That didn't mean I wanted to start a fight on our own doorstep.

_Just a precaution, _Farling answered, faking control and bravado. _Lortif should be able to avoid them._

_Don't rush me, _Lortif muttered, his hands dancing over the central control pads. A voice crackled over our communications intercom.

_Unidentified ship, you are not authorised to enter atmosphere 1. Return to atmosphere 2; repeat, return to atmosphere 2._ Medrar clicked the intercom on, and replied.

_This is the Fartree, registration C645G. Do not approach, we are experiencing engine difficulties and our weapons system is unstable. We will comply as soon as possible. _Lortif smiled at him.

_That's our boy_, he whispered. _Fastest liar in the cadets. _There was a pause, and then the reply came.

_This is patrol ship H672R. We demand visual communication and identification of all 6 passengers. _

_Negative_, Medrar replied, as Lortif frantically communicated with the computer.

_Two more coming from the East_, the pilot hissed, pointing to our radar display, which showed two red dots closing in on our green one.

_Our visual communications system is malfunctioning, _Medrar elaborated to the waiting silence on the other end of the intercom. There was a decidedly suspicious quality to that silence.

_Why did he say 6 passengers? _Tirdellan asked. Farling waved a hand to silence her.

_Malfunctioning scanners, probably. Don't use public thought speak; they can hear it through the intercom. _At that moment the communications system flared back into life. And it was quite clear that H672R was unimpressed.

_Starwave, you are ordered to return to atmosphere 2 this instant or I will be forced to fire on you. _

_Well it was worth a try, _Medrar said, terminating the connection. _Ready Lortif?_

_Here we go_, the pilot shouted. As we watched the patrol ship started closing in on us, the other two arriving from the East also narrowing the distance between their dots on the screen and our own. Lortif smiled faintly. _Catch me if you can, boys._ He twisted the controls.

FWOOOM!

Again we shot forwards, but also now we spun, a barrel roll that would have bounced us off the ceiling if Lortif had not recalibrated the gravity stabilisers. Somehow my hooves seemed glued to the floor, so that even though I was briefly upside down I didn't fall. Then a swift turn to the left, and we looped under the security ship which was turning, too slow, to shoot us. Then down (down? Weren't we meant to be going up?) We shot down through the clouds, and Lortif increased the speed, then spun and twisted the ship up again. In the clouds the security ship lost visual and had to rely on his computer telling him where we were. I smiled thinly, remembering Alloran telling me how Andalites hated not being able to see what they were chasing.

_Incoming from the East_, Medrar yelled, and suddenly two more security ships whizzed into view. Lortif spun us, so that we were side on to them and shouted, _Now! _Farling's face creased with concentration as he aimed and squeezed off one shot.

TSEWWW!

The bright shredder beam flared out, and as I watched it hit one of the ships on its left side. The ship instantly veered, out of control, and smashed into the other one which was turning, too late, to avoid it. Medrar laughed.

_Nice shot. Took out the navigation controls perfectly. _Farling beamed with a pride I'd rarely seen in him before.

Then... TSEWWW! A shredder blast streaked past us as we swept a sudden right, still straining upwards to the stars.

_You'll have to aim better than that_, Lortif cried excitedly, and Medrar and Farling laughed, the thrill of danger animating their faces. I glanced at Tirdellan to see if she was joining in with the jubilation of all three arisths as we spun again, but her face had drained to the palest blue and her eyes were clamped closed. Carefully I reached out to her mind, sending her warmth and strength, and felt her receive it. She cranked open her left stalk eye and gave me a pathetic smile of gratitude. The security ship was aligning itself behind us again, preparing to blast us, when the Starwave started talking to us again.

_Calibrating translation to Zero Space in 5, 4.._

_About time! _Farling shouted, releasing the weapons port and standing by Lortif.

_3,2..._

_First time into Zero space! _ Lortif screamed, and for just a second the revelation of his inexperience sent cold fear scurrying down my spine. But it was too late! He, Farling and Medrar suddenly clasped hands. Tirdellan's expression hardened into one of grim terror.

_1. Entering Zero space, _the computer informed us.

And then...

WHITE!

Not greyish white, or cloudy white or anything with substance.

Just WHITE!

Zero space, or Z-space. Anti-space. A way to get somewhere fast, by tunnelling through its centre, but impossible to be followed through, as you needed destination co-ordinates to enter it. It is also where the spare matter is meant to go when you morph. Not that I was really expecting to see a heart or bag of guts drifting by. Although that would have been incredibly interesting.

Lortif set the autopilot, and the three arisths crowded around the viewing windows, marvelling at it as we gently drifted through.

_I'd heard it was just white but I never realised how empty it is, _Lortif remarked. Medrar smiled.

_Just like I remembered,_ he said wistfully. Farling glanced at him interestedly.

_I didn't know you'd been before. _Medrar looked embarrassed and shuffled his hooves.

_I wasn't meant to be on the ship, _he explained. _ I was exploring its fascinating new weapons system when several warriors came aboard. I, um, hid._ Lortif laughed at that.

_You were a stowaway! I never knew. _Medrar had flushed purple.

_I was threatened with demotion for my brother if I ever told anyone. Still, now that I am probably going to be written off as a deserter and they can't know it seemed ok to say._

I left them marvelling at Z-space (of course, I'd seen it all before, in a similar state of fascination, with my young husband at my side, answering all the questions I had asked) and turned to Tirdellan.

_You can open your eyes now, Tirdellan. _Carefully she opened them, one by one, and with great reluctance released her grip on the bulkhead.

_We were upside down but didn't fall. That was the most frightening thing I have ever done. _With a start of shock I realised she was shaking and stretched out my tail, caressing her shoulders with it. She relaxed a little, but her face was still unnaturally pale. The arisths hadn't noticed and I leaned towards her.

_You were very brave Tirdellan. _She smiled, again that pathetic half smile. I inclined my head towards the three males. _Listen, if you want them to respect you I suggest you never let them know how much this frightens you._ She squared her shoulders and raised her head defiantly.

_Do not worry mother, I am not going to embarrass you. _I laughed gently.

_Of course not. _Still, she moved over to the viewing port where they stood, and feigned similar excitement in staring at the vast emptiness, and they were very happy to repeat all of their pooled knowledge on it to her with the air of experienced old hands at it. I tilted my head, appraising Medrar and Lortif. Lortif was a heavier build than the other, slightly heavier even than Farling, and he stood the tallest. Medrar was sleeker, a hint of silver in his fur, but his tail looked like it could deliver more of a kick. As I watched Tirdellan turn to him with a question a sudden thought occurred to me.

Would my daughter start attempting a romance on this voyage?

I sincerely hoped not. This journey did not have room for plans for a future afterwards. It was pointed almost certainly towards death.

And looking at the four young Andalites chattering to each other, I felt incredibly guilty.

I was leading them into danger, on the promise of adventure, for my own personal gain.

Retrieving Alloran only mattered to me. The impact of such an action on the Andalite people as a whole was negligible. The end of the Abomination could just as easily be achieved with the death of my husband. Rescuing him would prove far more dangerous and benefitted very few. My children? They were both brave, but I was afraid that they had only come out of loyalty to me. And what was in it for them? A father who had vanished when both were almost too young to know. On the other end of our voyage evil waited, and pain and death. Tirdellan didn't even know how to fight.

That would have to change. I stepped forward. Assumed a commanding pose.

_Please listen for a minute._ They turned to me, still giddy with the excitement of novelty, and again I was struck by how very young they were. What are you doing, Jahar? _Lortif, how long will it take us to reach the planetary system containing Earth?_ I asked. He crossed to the computer, checked it and groaned.

_Five weeks. It would have been less a season ago but Z-space has shifted in that time. _

_Right, then we have five weeks to fill. _I smiled at their attentive faces, waiting for orders from me, their captain? Their prince? I'd need to clarify my position at some point. I'd checked that all of them were morph capable, so that wasn't something which needed any more consideration. Fighting did. I pressed on. _The Starwave is equipped with a training room, complete with military holograms. In this time I want you to train during any time you can spare from the rituals and necessary diversions. _I indicated Tirdellan. _The three of you with military training are at an advantage, and together I want you to teach my daughter how to fight. _She stared straight ahead, embarrassed by the revelation of her lack of experience. _You all have your own quarters assigned to you. If you need to find me I will be in my own. _I turned to Lortif. _If our situation changes report to me. In fact_ (and now I faced them all) _all of you are to report to me at least every two days. _There was a silence, and then Medrar bent slightly, in a bow.

_Yes, Captain Jahar. _His solemn expression was almost comical, but the other three followed his example, subordinating themselves to me. Me. An aging female with little military experience and not even the vaguest hint of a plan. Subordinating themselves to my need to find my mate again, after all these long years.

I felt sick with myself.

I left them and hurried to my quarters, determined to perform a purifying ritual to cleanse the feeling of diseasefrom my bones. The doors swished open and I stepped in eyes forward, already starting to repeat the familiar words of the ritual in my head. The doors clicked shut behind me.

And suddenly a thought speak came from my left:

_Poor ship, it's a wonder it's still in one piece! What did you use as a pilot, a half digested taxxon? _

I spun around and had real difficulty focusing on the Andalite standing before me. See, most of my attention was taken up by the nose of the shredder pointing straight at me.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for tagging along this far. This was quite an exciting chapter to write, as there was a huge storm happening outside my window. That's why I put the storm in really, I guess. And I really wanted to add Aldrea, so I've made her just a teensy bit older than she might have been (old enough to run around on her own) at this time. This is all happening pre-Hork Bajir chronicles, and the Andalites are just becoming aware of the Yeerks.

Love to all reviewers :)

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Chapter 6

Jahar eyed the roiling sky suspiciously.

_You want to go out in this? _She asked dubiously. Kalladin Rahala Galid nodded enthusiastically.

_I was speaking to Seerow's daughter, Aldrea_-_lskillion-Falan. She told me the storm lilies only bloom under torrential rain. _

_Really? _Jahar remarked sarcastically. _Storm lilies that require storms. How novel. _Kalladin frowned.

_Aldrea said there were some by the cliffs near Sorlan's lands. Come on, Jahar, I've never seen real storm lilies. _As she said the final words a growl of thunder rolled over the fields to them. Jahar shivered: the temperature was dropping, but it was still summer and the rain would be warm. She hesitated, and Kalladin took a step forward and actually held her hand. _Jahar, you'll like Aldrea. She's rather young, and I think her family are travelling soon, but she seems a very pleasant, practical Andalite. And anyway, I promised we would go. _Jahar sighed.

_Fine, Kalladin. But only because I could not make you break your word to your new friend. _Kalladin beamed her a smile of gratitude and trotted to the edge of the meadow as Jahar ducked back into the scoop. Her father was travelling, investigating rumours about a new planet which might contain life, creatures called 'Yeerks', but her mother was in, using a computer programme to build an art sculpture. It was from her that Jahar inherited her artistic talent. She agreed after a little persuading, although it was more a case of Jahar letting her know where she was going than applying for permission. She was going to be moving out to live with her new mate soon, anyway, and her parents treated her more as an adult guest rather than as a daughter.

Leaving the scoop Jahar broke into a canter to catch up with Kalladin, and the other female waited for her to catch up and then set off in a Northerly direction. The wind was rising now, whipping the long grasses and causing the branches of the Vailish trees they passed to creak. Exhilaration spread through Jahar. She hadn't galloped through a heavy storm for years, out of vanity (she was not shown to her best advantage with her fur flat and dripping) and laziness, and the air crackled in anticipation of the rain.

Aldrea was waiting for them in a small copse about a half-hour's gallop from Jahar's lands. She was a small Andalite, with purple fur and a delicate tail to rival Vitana's. Jahar calculated that she was only recently fully grown, too young to be legally be considered an adult, probably still at school. She wondered how Kalladin had got to know the child. Kalladin introduced the two to each other, and Aldrea greeted Jahar politely (whilst Jahar struggled not to snidely ask where Aldrea's parents were), before the younger one turn to the West.

_Come on, _she called. _It's a good way to go, but not as fun if we took a ship. _She kicked her heels exuberantly, clearly excited by the whipping winds, and set off at a speed which Jahar struggled to match. Galloping besides the younger Andalite, Jahar remembered how she had needled Alloran for being fat. Next to Aldrea she was the one who seemed to need more exercise, as the younger Andalite resembled a coiled purple spring. Subconsciously she moved nearer to Kalladin, whose curved flanks and softer lines were more reassuring than the defined muscles rippling across Aldrea's shoulders. Arbat didn't have rippling muscles. His mind was no doubt in perfect condition, exercised more frequently than most other Andalites' minds, but next to his warrior brother his body did not compare so well. Still, Jahar had made up her mind a long time ago not to marry a warrior, and she could hardly complain about not being able to run her hands over defined muscles when she had made a conscious decision to marry a scientist.

_So how is your little project going?_ Kalladin asked Jahar privately. _Vitana and Alloran. _Jahar furrowed her brow in annoyance.

_Not well. She keeps finding reasons to get annoyed with him._

_It could be her way of flirtation_, Kalladin offered. Jahar snorted.

_Well it's going to lose him. He's already decidedly less interested and if she doesn't show some keenness soon he'll be gone. He won't stand to be treated condescendingly_. Kalladin laughed.

_You seem to know him very well, Jahar. Does Arbat speak of him much? _Jahar paused before answering, as she didn't have a prepared reply.

_No_, she said finally. _I think I just understand Alloran very well. He is not that complicated. _

_If only Vitana had your sense, _Kalladin face grew serious and she nodded towards Aldrea._ She'll be looking for a mate soon. _Jahar laughed too, amused at the thought of the miniscule female by her side, who was still really a child, attempting to charm Arbat's muscular brother.

_Alloran will be long gone by then. If Vitana wasn't acting so foolishly they could be married by now._

_Or engaged, _Kelladin said pointedly. Jahar threw her a cross glare. She didn't like reminding that her impending marriage to Arbat was proceeding at the pace of a lame Dorlkik. They'd been engaged for two seasons, but actually marrying had always hovered on the horizon. He seemed perfectly content with that situation, and that surprised Jahar when she remembered his ardent pleas for her to be his wife. Still, she didn't care to rush him and she counted herself fortunate to be a further step towards obtaining a mate than Kelladin, or Vitana, or even Aldrea.

_Here comes the rain!_ Aldrea screamed exuberantly, breaking Jahar's reverie. With a crack the skies opened and a deluge poured down on the three Andalites. The rain was temperate, but with a cold edge to it, causing Jahar to shiver a little and step up her pace for warmth. The ground sucked at their hooves as the rain turned the earth beneath them to mud, and drops glistened on the long grass stalks, splattering as they galloped past and the grass brushed their sides. It was all Jahar could do to keep Aldrea's small form in view, and she wondered how the younger female could possibly find her way through the mire. They stumbled uphill, her hooves catching on unseen tussocks. Perhaps this had not been such a good idea...

Then Aldrea gave a shout of joy, and skidded to a halt. Jahar and Kalladin caught up with her, and she pointed excitedly through the gloom.

_Be careful. The cliffs are high and the edge will be slippery. _They proceeded slowly in the direction she had indicated, until the lip of the cliff came into view. Jahar edged forwards, and peered over. They were high, higher than she had realised. Below her the cliffs dropped steeply away, and the murk obscured their feet.

_What's at the bottom? _She asked.

_An old diamond quarry, _Aldrea replied. _It's flooded. _She was trotting along, dangerously close to the edge in Jahar's eyes, peering over, and she suddenly gave a shout of delight. _Got one!_ Jahar and Kalladin rushed to join her, and she stretched out, indicating a ledge a few metres below. _See?_ Jahar shook rain out of her eyes and leant over. Kalladin had stretched her tail right out for support (she was always difficult with heights) and Jahar steadied her shoulder. She felt her friend relax a little in gratitude.

The ledge Aldrea had indicated was only small, but it held a bush with great shining green leaves, the rain pouring off them in rivulets. Excitement lanced through Jahar. Nestling amongst the foliage were three gigantic blooms, fire yellow with blazing orange hearts.

_Storm lilies_, Kalladin breathed. She edged forwards. _Do you think we could get closer? _Aldrea eyed the ground dubiously.

_The edges can be unstable. _Kalladin instantly skipped back, but Jahar stayed where she was, drinking in the beauty of the flowers. There was something delightfully wild and free about this plant which only bloomed in the fiercest weather. As she stood there lightning rent the sky above her and thunder replied with a hungry roar. It was perfect.

It didn't take long for Kalladin to get bored. She wanted to find some within reach, to take home, and pulled away impatiently, trotting along the edge.

_Be careful, _Jahar warned her. Kalladin kicked her hoof mischievously.

_Yes, mother Jahar!_ Jahar sighed as her friend stumbled in the wet grass. Kalladin was a strange creature: afraid of heights until something distracted her into daring the most foolhardy things.

Aldrea too turned and started combing the cliff tops in the other direction, so Jahar moved to where Kalladin had stopped near the edge, peering over.

_Is that one there? _she asked. Jahar peered towards where she was pointing but the rain made it difficult to see.

_Where? _

_There. _Kalladin indicated again and gave Jahar a nudge forwards in the right direction. Jahar cursed as her hoof caught in the wet grass and she stumbled forwards heavily. There was a rushing sound and then suddenly the ground dropped away under her front hooves. _Jahar!_ Kalladin screamed. Jahar flailed, her fingertips brushed Kalladin's outstretched arms, but her balance was lost, and with a scream she tumbled over the edge.

When Jahar woke up her whole body ached. Trying to stand up, she screamed as sharp pain shot through her from her right front leg, and she was forced to sink down again. Twisting an eye stalk to inspect it she saw that it was clearly broken in at least two places, twisted and already bruising. Jahar whimpered, and raised her eyes. She's been caught on a narrow ledge, about four or five metres from the lip of the cliff which loomed above her. The rain had lightened, but the persistent drops chilled her and she shivered. A large part of her wanted to cry.

_Jahar! _Looking up she perceived a small, purple face peering down at her. Her brain struggled to collect itself and offer a name, but she finally bullied it into producing the answer.

_Aldrea! I think my leg's broken. _She sounded a lot calmer than she felt.

_Can you morph? _Aldrea called down. She was referring to the new technology which allowed Andalites to change their shape for that of another animal. A healthy, undamaged animal. However, the technology was so new that a lowly female like Jahar would never have had access to it, so she wondered at Aldrea's naive assumption that she had.

_I'm afraid I'm stuck, _Jahar called back, again fighting the urge to panic.

_Kalladin said that your future mate's lands are near, _Aldrea shouted. _She's gone to fetch him. _Jahar groaned. Poor Kalladin! She would have a very long gallop, as they really weren't that near to Arbat's lands at all. Still, she knew that she would much rather Arbat rescued her than some other Andalite male who might ask her why she did something as silly as falling off a cliff. _There's a ship coming!_ Aldrea shouted down. Jahar was surprised; she must have been unconscious quite a while if they were already arriving. Over the light rain she heard the whine of a ship's engines and then male voices. It sounded like Arbat had brought a friend.

There was a thudding of hooves, and then Arbat's face appeared over the ridge.

_My poor Jahar! _he cried. _Can you stand?_

_My leg's broken_, she shouted back. He hesitated and paced a bit.

_I'm going to lower a harness. Do you think you could crawl into it? _he asked finally. Jahar winced as hot agony lanced through her leg, but there didn't seem to be an alternative.

_I'll try,_ she called. He turned and vanished, and she imagined him unpacking cables and knotting together a harness. A scrabbling sound and cascading pebbles caused her to look up, and just in time too, because she only just had time to lean sideways and avoid being hit as another Andalite fell onto her ledge. Alloran picked himself up and shook himself.

_Which leg is it? _he asked in a business like fashion, whilst Jahar goggled at him. He waited a moment and then repeated the question. She indicated her front right and he knelt down awkwardly (it was only really a small ledge, and lying down she took up a lot of it) and felt it with her hands. Jahar was unable to stop the yelp of pain, and he released her immediately, looking contrite. _I'm sorry. _He reached out and held her shoulders. _You're shaking. _She felt halfway between screaming and laughing, so she chose the latter and erupted into giggles. He frowned. _What amuses you, Jahar?_ Her breath caught and she snorted involuntarily.

_What did you do that for? Now we'll both need rescuing._ He smiled and pulled her close.

_I thought you might like a little help getting into Arbat's harness. _She felt his hands holding her, his strength near her reassuring and calming her. There was a clattering, and a harness made of knotted cables fell onto the ledge. With Alloran supporting her Jahar was able to scramble into it, and he arranged her leg with the utmost care so that it would not be hurt further. Then he shouted to Arbat and Jahar was winched up, swaying a little in the wind, until she came over the cliff edge and saw that he was using machinery from within the Starwave to lift her. Whilst Kalladin and Aldrea watched anxiously, he worked the controls to set her down very gently, and ran to untangle her.

_I'll take you to my uncle, _Arbat told her. _He's a doctor in the fleet, currently on leave. _Jahar wanted to protest that a break which merely needed setting did not require such a qualified personage, but the pain was forcing her into drowsiness, so she allowed Arbat to do as he wished. The sounds of Alloran clambering back up the cliff heralded the other's arrival, and he pulled himself over the edge, muddy to his knees.

The Starwave was very cramped with all of them in it and, sprawled out, Jahar took up most of the room, so Arbat ran detours to deposit Aldrea and Kalladin before taking her to his uncle. Aldrea seemed very shaken, and Jahar was reminded again of how young she really was. Kalladin, on the other hand, was maddeningly apologetic, and wouldn't give Jahar a minute's rest. It was a relief to be rid of her self-effacing sympathy and apologies. On the final leg of their journey Arbat flew the ship and Alloran stayed by Jahar, gently stroking her palms and throat in the softest of comforting kisses. They'd given her an anaesthetic, but the horrific knowledge that she was broken still shook her and she was glad for his attention.

The brothers' uncle was at first somewhat grumpy at being disturbed whilst on leave, but softened when Arbat explained his affection for Jahar. The old Andalite's hands were deft, and Jahar only felt a momentary jolt of pain as he manipulated her bones back into place. The most upsetting part was the sound of her bones being reset, rather than the pain. She was given a splint which would dissolve as her leg healed and orders not to get up for a day, and then to work on three legs for five weeks. It was quickly and efficiently done, so that it didn't seem long at all before they were flying back to her scoop.

At her scoop Arbat set the ship down, and then he and Alloran lifted her arms onto their shoulders and helped her hobble on three legs from the ship to the warmth of the scoop. The rain had stopped, and the fresh scent of wet grass breathed new life into Jahar's cloudy head. Her mother came out to greet them, and helped them to carry her into the scoop. Jahar was very grateful then, that she was an only child, as there would not have been enough room in the sleeping chamber for her to lie down and occupy half the floor space if there had been another child. Arbat and Alloran hovered near her for a while, but try as she might she couldn't prevent her eyes closing and they eventually left her to sleep. Through her drowsiness she heard her mother thanking them, and then the whine of the engines.

Sadness lingered in Jahar's heart. She would have liked him to stay.

And as the realisation of that washed over her she felt as if the ground was again falling away under her, and she was tumbling into empty space.

Because she was very fond of Arbat.

And she was grateful to him for coming to her rescue.

But she now knew without a doubt what she had been denying for the past season.

She loved Alloran.


	7. Chapter 7

A return to the present again. Thanks for hanging around for this long - do please let me know what you think of this one. And in particular, how am I doing for Andalite names? I swear, I spend half my time racking my brains for them. Kipsing's is my current personal favourite, although it really sounds as if it should belong to a female... Perhaps I'll make him twitchy about that in future.

Also people have said the present plot doesn't move fast enough. Hope this is enough development to satisfy.

* * *

Chapter 7

All I could do was stare, transfixed, at the tip of that shredder. I'd never had a weapon pointed at me before, not even in jest. I couldn't have moved it I'd tried.

But then the shredder was lowered, and through my daze I heard a strangely familiar laugh.

_Are you Jahar? If you are, please stop staring and say something. _I raised my eyes and a jolt of recognition shook me.

_Kalladin? _But no, the thought speak was male... The young Andalite standing in front of me laughed again, and it was so close to Kalladin's laugh it was uncanny.

_Close_, he said. _I am Kalladin's son, Kipsing-Raedel-Corssan. My mother sent me to you. _I knew I was still staring but my brain had nearly frozen with surprise.

_How did you get here? _It just happened to be the first of the many questions swirling round my head to force its way out.

_I'm an expert morpher_, he replied smugly. _Sneaking on board was not difficult. _He frowned. _ Although it was a nasty shock when the security ship's scanner picked me up. It should not have been able to. _Indignation rose up in me and shook its fist at the world.

_Why are you in my quarters? Why are you in my ship? How dare you presume to smuggle yourself aboard!_ He took a step backwards and raised his hands placatingly.

_Forgive me, please. I would have asked your permission to come, but I was afraid you would reject my offer because you didn't know me. _He paused, then added, _Kalladin sent me to protect you. _I snorted.

_How kind of her. I haven't seen her for who knows how long, and then she takes it on herself to foist her son on me when the last thing I need is to babysit children. _Kipsing refused to retaliate to my icy tone, and instead replied with an infuriating calm which made me want to tail swipe him.

_I'm older than those arisths you have, and highly trained. Instead of you sitting me, mother sent me to sit you._ Again I fought back the urge to attack him, in sheer fury at his presumption.

_And how did your mother..._ Realisation hit me, and anger. _Arbat! Curse him and his inability to keep anything to himself!_

_He only told mother because you did not, _Kipsing said defensively. _She told me to tell you our family are still your friends, despite your attempts to push us away. _That stopped me in my tracks, and my anger drained away to leave a terrible cold, empty feeling. Was he right? Had I really, in my self pity and belief that I was being shunned, severed friendships that might have remained? I shifted uncomfortably, trying to remember the last time I spoke to Kalladin. I had not wanted to burden her with my shame and misery, and when I had learnt that her husband's fighter had been shot down by Yeerks I'd felt horrifically guilty, as though I could not face her whilst my mate, however unwillingly, aided the creatures who had taken hers away. And now, it seemed, she still cared enough to defy my silence and send her son. I mentally shifted gear, and tried what I hoped was a welcoming smile.

_Then you are most welcome, Kipsing. _He bowed his head in acknowledgement, then looked down rather guiltily at the shredder in his hands.

_I apologise if I alarmed you. I'd only seen holofilms of you before, and I wanted to be sure it was you I spoke to first. _He held out the shredder formally and I took it from his hands. Then he lowered his eyes, and immediately his arrogance seemed to dissolve into awkwardness. _And there is something else my mother instructed me to tell you._

_Yes? _I couldn't imagine what revelation could be impending. Had Kalladin's entire family stowed away? Was Kipsing deficient somehow? Disease? Military shame? As if that could shock me!

_I swore to my mother that I would keep you alive at any price. _He said solemnly. _If I have to, I will kill to uphold that promise._

I understood instantly. _You would not hesitate to despatch Visser Three. _His silence was enough for a reply, and again I felt irritated with this arrogant young male. _If you were to do so you might possibly save my life, but you would certainly remove any purpose or meaning from it, _I said bitterly. _Besides, _I continued, slightly spitefully, _Alloran was a fighting war prince before your parents even met, and the Visser has been stocking up on horrific morphs for years. What makes you think you could possibly kill Visser Three? _

Kipsing still failed to meet my eyes. Then he said softly, _Because_ _I am a professional assassin._

Subconsciously I took a step back, and he noticed with a wry smirk. Assassins were shunned in Andalite society almost as much as the mates of disgraced and infested princes. There was a feeling that no amount of cleansing rituals could remove the taint of their profession.

_I am a professional assassin_, he repeated. _And from my recent training I rather suspect my next assignment was going to be Visser Three._

I was about to speak, but suddenly the Starwave gave a great jolt, as if we'd hit something, and we were both knocked off our hooves. _What's happening?_ I screamed. The shuddering didn't stop, and now we were spinning, the whole ship tumbling wildly like a thrown pebble and I couldn't tell up from down. I heard screaming and barely recognised Tirdellan's thought speak, distorted by sheer terror. _Lortif!_ I cried. _Report! What's happened?_ From far away I heard his faint thought speak reply.

_Medrar says Z-Space is shifting. We're being transported with it! _Flailing wildly, Kipsing slammed into me, and the jolt caused my fingers to tighten on the shredder I still held.

TSEWWW!

The bright blast was shockingly loud, and missed him by bare inches, tearing a hole in the wall of my quarters, exposing the main walkway. Medrar's distant thought speak reached me.

_I'm going to take us out of Z-Space. Hold on!_ A final whirling spin, which flipped my stomachs and sent nausea pounding in my head, and then the Starwave slammed to a sudden halt, almost as if we'd hit something. I scrambled to my hooves as fast as I could, and turned to Kipsing.

_You. Stay Put. _He looked as if he was about to argue, but I'd already left my quarters, running to the cockpit. Farling joined me halfway, his eyes wide.

_What happened mother? _

_I don't know yet, _I replied shortly. When we reached the cockpit I found Lortif slumped down by the main monitors, his lower body sprawled, his head in his hands.

_He's mildly concussed_, Medrar explained, as his hands danced across the main interface. His eyes gleamed with excitement. _This has only been recorded as happening twice before – ships being caught in Z-Space shifts. _Farling left my side and crossed to Lortif, taking his hands away and checking his head. I could see a nasty bruise forming.

_So it's rare? _I asked Medrar. He shrugged.

_Ships go missing every now and then. Perhaps it is more the case that it is rare to survive it. _

I glanced out of the main viewing window at the starry blackness.

_So where are we?_

_That, _Medrar replied, rather crossly, _is what I am trying to discover. _

There was a clatter of hooves, and I swivelled an eyestalk, expecting to see Tirdellan. Instead it was Kipsing. Farling sprung to his feet, tail lifted challengingly.

_Who is this?_

_A stowaway. _I explained, before turning angrily to Kipsing. _I told you to stay in my quarters._

_I'm sorry, _he said quickly, and I suddenly realised he looked flushed. _Do the engines work? _He asked urgently.

_I believe so, _Medrar replied coldly. _But we are not going anywhere until I can find our position. _Kipsing stepped forward.

_Actually I recommend you start them up immediately._

_I don't... _Medrar began, but Kipsing interrupted.

_I don't either_, he snarled. _But I __**do**__ know that I just looked out the window and saw something __**larger **__than us, coming__** towards **__us and eying us like we're a nice, ripe patch of __Ordin grass! _

Medrar stared for a moment, but Kipsing's words kickstarted me into action.

_Farling, fire the engines! Medrar, translate us back into Z-Space._

_Where? _He shouted as Farling raced to the central console.

_Anywhere!_ I roared back, adrenaline pounding through me. I felt amazingly light headed, as if everything was a bit unreal.

The engines whined into life, but over them I heard a sharp scream, and Tirdellan tumbled into the crowded cockpit.

_It's going to eat us! _She wailed, and then jumped when she saw Kipsing. _Who are you? _Her thought speak was shrill with rising hysteria.

_Perhaps introductions could wait, _he replied grimly, whilst Farling communicated with the computer. _Can you not do that any faster?_ Before I could stop him, he knocked Farling aside, ignored my son's indignant shout and slammed the throttle.

FWOOOM!

The Starwave roared into life and we hurtled forward, banked a sharp left to avoid an asteroid which had appeared out of nowhere and then...

Our pursuer filled the entire viewing screen. Or rather, its massive, tooth lined jaws did. (Mouths. Is there anything in this galaxy as strange and horrible as mouths?) We could have flown down its throat if it had taken our fancy. And it was moving forwards to engulf us.

_Reverse! _Farling shouted, and Kipsing responded, sending us shooting backwards.

_AAAARRRGGHHH! _Tirdellan screamed. _AAAARGGHH! _Kipsing and Medrar agreed. I don't know if I was screaming or not – it all happened so fast. Lortif howled in pain as the thought speak battered his bruised brain, and clamped his arms over his head in a desperate attempt to keep our voices out.

We reversed and then spun around, shooting forwards and away. Medrar had returned to his calculations and keyed something into the main computer.

_Calibrating translation to Zero Space in 5, 4... _the computer intoned. We were going to make it!

Then, suddenly, there was a horrific tearing sound of metal and the whole ship stopped.

_It's got us! _Tirdellan shrieked, her voice at a tempo which indicated she had temporarily bid farewell to sanity.

_Go forwards! _I ordered desperately. To Kipsing? To the Starwave?

_I'm trying! _Kipsing shouted, clearly panic-stricken.

_Translation to Zero Space failed_, the computer informed us calmly. _Reason: insufficient momentum for translation._

_Noooo! _Medrar howled in frustration.

Then...

_AAAARRRGGGHHHH! _We were thrown off our hooves, all of us slammed against the walls as the poor Starwave was shaken by whatever held us.

_Mother!_ Tirdellan wailed, and I dimly saw that she had damaged one of her arms through landing awkwardly on it. No time for that. No time for the terror pounding through my veins.

_The rear blasters, Jahar! _Where had that voice come from? From within me? The rear blasters...

I had known the Starwave like the back of my hand, all those years ago. I only hoped Arbat hadn't altered it too much, or the idea that was crystallising in my mind would fail...

We stopped moving and I took advantage of the momentary calm to claw my way to the main console.

_Jahar! _Kipsing cried, scrambling to join me, but I elbowed him aside.

_Let's see how he likes this! _I snarled, and activated the Starwave's hidden rear blasters.

Most ships have a shredder – a giant tail arching over them which acts as the main weapon. The Starwave had that. But she also had two secret blasters, hidden beneath her rear engines. Very useful for if she was being chased by an unsuspecting Bug fighter.

A hum, and then...

TSEWWW!

_YES! _We were released instantly and shot forwards, our engines still on full power. An agonised roar reverberated around us, making the Starwave shake.

_I don't think it liked that, mother_, Farling shouted.

_Whatever gave you that idea? _I snapped. _Medrar, get us into Zero Space! _Again the aristh communicated with the main computer, and again we heard the countdown.

_5,4..._

_Come on!_ Medrar shouted, pale with fear.

_3,2..._

_Where are we going? _Farling called to him.

_Away!_

_1. Translating to Zero Space. _

_Yes!_

White had never looked so good.

We were safe! Safe!

All that could be heard was the panting of six unbelievably stressed Andalites. Well, five, and Lortif, who had curled into a small ball and was whimpering with pain. I left Kipsing to introduce himself and crossed to Lortif.

_He just needs to morph, _Farling said, joining me and ignoring the newcomer. With a stalk eye I watched Kipsing perform an exaggerated bow to Tirdellan. Who still looked extremely shaken. And who's arm was at a very funny angle indeed. When she recovered her sense she would have to morph. Gently, with Farling's help, I coaxed Lortif to morph a Kafit bird.

Morphing is the strangest thing to watch, particularly if you haven't for a while. Lortif's facial features melted as if they were made of hot plastic, and kind of ran together into a beak. His body... well, let's just say I was rather more intimately acquainted with Lortif after that morphing than I was before. Rather embarrassedly, the Kafit bird picked itself up and flapped for height. He had clearly recovered full mentality as soon as the morph was complete and flew around the cabin, complaining loudly because he hadn't seen the beast.

_It was huge, _Farling told him, as the bird fluttered its many wings and landed on his shoulder. _Bigger than a dome ship._

_Couldn't you have lifted me up to see it? _Lortif asked irritably.

Medrar had returned to the computer, and now a look of surprise crossed his face.

_Oh no._

_What? _I asked, instantly alert. _What oh no?_ I didn't have the energy for another emergency. Two in the space of an hour was more than enough. And then the computer spoke again.

_Reaching final destination: Earth. Translating back into normal space._

_That oh no,_ Medrar said. _Looks like this isn't going to take five weeks after all._

_What?_

Suddenly, wooosh! We translated back into normal space. It took my eyes a second to adjust to seeing colours again, but then I could pick out...

A small planet which was mainly blue, surrounded by swirling white clouds.

It was really very beautiful.

And orbited by a Blade ship.

A big black Blade ship.

A Blade ship, which oozed dread and fear.

_Look_, Kipsing whispered, but he needn't have because it drew the eye like a black hole draws matter, sucking you in. It was kind of soul destroying, just looking at it.

A Blade ship which had almost certainly sensed us as we translated back into normal space.

A Blade ship which was already wheeling around to face us, even as I watched.

It had all happened far too fast for any of us to react.

Which is why it was just as well Kipsing wasn't the only stowaway.

_Shields_, a male voice commanded, and there was a blue flicker on the viewing screen as we were immediately enveloped and hidden.

It happened very fast, but then the Starwave knew its master.

I turned to the entrance to the cockpit wearily, not even surprised. After all the shocks I had just experienced what was one more? And Kipsing had been convinced that the security ship's scanners shouldn't have been able to detect him, even though they had picked up six Andalites.

He was correct. They hadn't seen him at all.

And it hadn't been my imagination which told me to use the rear blasters. I was panicking too much to have thought of them.

And really, who better equipped to stow away on a ship than its master?

I smiled wearily.

_Hello Arbat._


	8. Chapter 8

Hello, hello again! Here it is, the next chapter. Just to clarify for anyone who has been getting confused - the chapters in first person are in the present, the chapters in third person are Jahar's past. It's third person because it seems so removed from current Jahar that it's as if she is watching someone else.

As always, feedback of any kind is immensely appreciated! And great love to my current reviewers - AniJen21, metamorphstorm, Birdie Num Num, voodooqueen126. Thanks for sticking with it so far!

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Chapter 8

_You couldn't even tell it was broken,_ Arbat said, as he bent his upper body and ran his hands down Jahar's foreleg. She giggled and squirmed under his touch, but to her the laugh felt hollow. Time had passed, time enough for her leg to heal, for Alloran to prepare to leave the homeworld on a flight to a distant planet, the Yeerk world. He had left the day before, and Jahar had stood there, unable to say a word as he gave her a friendly goodbye, unable to articulate her desire to leap into his arms. But it was her own conscience which held her back. She had chosen not to follow her desires. She had chosen to honour the contract she had entered into with Arbat, out of loyalty to him. It was not his fault she loved his brother, and she did not feel she could so hurt him as to leave him on such a selfish pretext.

Arbat had left his labs this day, and Jahar felt even guiltier at the knowledge that he was taking time away from his precious experiments to spend with her. He had taken her out in the Starwave, back to Lake Stilena, where she and Vitana had met Alloran. The lake shores seemed deserted with just her and Arbat now, and even the Kafit bird hovering over the water didn't make her feel less alone. A light wind chased ripples across the cool lake surface. The dune grasses rustled under its caressing touch, and Jahar shivered. Arbat felt her tremor, and straightened up in front of her before reaching out and stroking her face lightly.

_What troubles my Jahar? You seem heavy, love_. There was genuine concern in his voice. She started, angry with herself for betraying despondency and dissatisfaction.

_Everyone seems to be leaving, Arbat_. _It makes me sad. A new friend of mine, Aldrea, left with her family for the Yeerk world. And of course, Alloran has gone too. _She could never tell him how sad that made her. Arbat laughed and lifted her hands onto his shoulders.

_So you mourn the passing of my wayward brother! _It made her feel ill to have him name the truth in jest. _Well, at least have the consolation that I shall never, ever go to war. Not whilst I have such a beautiful mate to tie me to my scoop. _Was he going to finally name a marriage date? Jahar's long expectant hopes raised their weary head yet again. Arbat heaved another sigh and resumed stroking her face. _Jahar, we must stop waiting. We must be together soon. _She fought to keep her frustration from showing. If only they had married a season earlier, before Arbat's handsome, wonderful brother came home on leave. Then she would never have looked at Alloran. She could have been happy.

_Yes, Arbat, soon. _The words rolled coldly through her stomachs. Could she ever convince herself again that she actually wanted him? _When? _she asked_._ He moved nearer, and again she was aware of how alone they were. Funny, but she had never minded being just with him before. Now she felt almost trapped. His hands slid down over her shoulders, and his gaze grew more intense, so that she felt uncomfortably like he could see right into her lying mind. Slowly his fingers caressed the shoulder muscles, and she tensed at the unexpectedly intimate contact.

_My poor Jahar. Your cares must be great for your muscles to carry such stress. _He leaned closer, his head bowed beside hers, his breath warm on the fur of her neck. She fought the urge to run, and he must have felt her stiffen, because he suddenly drew away. His expression was confused. _Not to your liking, love?_

_I asked you when we would be married,_ she said irritably, cross because he had wriggled out of an answer yet again. He looked surprised.

_I said soon._

_When?_ In reply, a bemused half smile.

_Name a date,_ he said._ If it matters so much to you. _Part of Jahar recoiled. What was she doing, hurrying her entrapment? That thought chilled her. Was that really how she viewed the rest of her life with Arbat? Imprisonment? But it would be torture, to have Alloran so near, so familiar, walking such a fine boundary between sibling and suitor. Would she be strong enough to keep resisting his teasing flirtation? (And he did flirt with her, although she was sure it was only his nature.) Jahar threw her hands in the air.

_I don't know! I'm sorry I raised it. _Her tone almost betrayed her inner turmoil.

_What a black mood you are in_, Arbat teased. _Perhaps it is a challenge for me to amuse you?_ Again annoyance rose in Jahar, catching at her hearts. Why did he have to be so playful now, when he had almost ignored her for all the time she would have welcomed such an offer? She tried to brush him off lightly.

_I am sorry, Arbat. I did not sleep well last night. _ She decided to attempt reconciliation and reached up, fondling his learned, slightly mocking face. _Forgive me, love?_ He leant into her hands.

_There is nothing to forgive. _His hands returned to her face, gently stroking her cheeks, but then they became insistent, reaching again down her neck to her shoulders. This time Jahar responded, lowering her own hands, and as she slid her fingers through the shoulder fur a shudder of pleasure ran through Arbat's body, rippling his soft blue pelt. _Jahar_, he breathed, leaning in closer. _Why have we waited?_ His hands slid down over her back, and she had to admit it was enjoyable, even if the main thought running around her head was _wrong brother. Wrong brother!_ When she looked into Arbat's main eyes the green irises glittered with desire, with such intensity that it almost frightened her.

Did she want this?

It felt pleasurable, and if she closed her eyes she could imagine it was Alloran holding her, caressing her.

Which was wrong.

She tried to pull away, to protest. _Arbat, no..._

_Hush_, he hissed. _Just let me, Jahar. This is just the beginning. Let me show you. _It felt so good that it didn't seem to matter which brother was doing it to her, and she gave in, her knees almost buckling from the intensity of the feelings Arbat's fingertips could evoke. Her imagination was running riot, supplying the right face in front of her hazy eyes, the right brother with that half-frightening expression of lust.

_Jahar_... he whispered, thought speak heavy with longing.

And as Jahar lost control in the whirling storm of desire, she breathed a name in response

_Alloran..._

The word was out before she could catch it back, and a sudden horror washed through her, like ice filling her veins. Arbat stiffened and then physically threw her off him, pushing her away with all the strength his weak arms could summon. She fell back, trembling, and the look on his face of fury, still battling with the traces of lust, was shocking.

_What did you say? _Each word was clipped, the tone glacial. Jahar knew better than to lie.

_Arbat, I am so sorry. _ She stood there helplessly, unable to explain, unable to say anything which might melt the blazing anger which simmered deep in his eyes.

_Why would you say my brother's name? _Arbat asked coldly. _Explain, __**my love**_**. **The final words were a shout, and Jahar rocked as if he had slapped her with his tail. She shook her head hopelessly.

_Arbat... I can't. _

_At least have the courage to tell me the truth, _he said bitterly, his eyes dark. _Or would you like me to plead, __**my love**__? _

She wished he'd stop calling her that, flinging the former term of endearment at her like a stinging insult. He was standing stock still, but his rage vibrated from him, so intensely that Jahar took a frightened step back.

_I can beg if you really want, _Arbat sneered. _Shall I implore you on my knees, as I did when I asked you to be mine, __**my love**__?_

She shook her head at the terrible image of him falling to his knees again in a terrible parody of that innocent day so many seasons ago. It seemed like another lifetime.

_Arbat... I... I am so sorry._

_Enough snivelling apologies_, he roared, his thought speak bellowing around her head. _Tell me the truth, Jahar, before I beat it out of you!_

His threat was enough to finally give her the nerve. She raised her head and met his vicious gaze full on.

_I am in love with Alloran, Arbat. I did not choose to be. I would never have betrayed you, and I did not feel I could break my contract with you. I would have married you, and been loyal. _It was the truth, although she doubted he believed her.

_And deceived me every day of our life together, _Arbat spat. _Until this happened, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps ten seasons from now. _ His expression changed, to one of revulsion. _Until Alloran came home on leave and you two slunk off to some quiet corner to mock me with your vile perversions. _

At this, anger flared in Jahar, dispelling her fear.

_You think too lowly of us both! _she cried spiritedly. _I told you I would not have betrayed you, and your brother is too fine an Andalite to ever do so._

_Ah yes, _Arbat scoffed. _Well it's quite clear how 'fine an Andalite' Alloran is in your view. There is little to be gained by my trying to dissuade you from that opinion, I'm sure. _ Jahar met his stare firmly, chin lifted. He made a movement, and she half wondered if he was going to attack her, but instead he paced back and forth in agitation. Finally he halted again, breathing hard, his eyes rolling a little as if mad.

_Have no fear about being compelled to be my mate, _he said shortly. _I formally release you from that contract, which was clearly so hateful to you. _

Relief rose in Jahar, so impossibly great she felt lightheaded.

_Thank you, Arbat_, she replied, and was appalled at how her genuine relief and gratitude radiated audibly in her thought speak. Arbat regarded her with an expression extremely close to disgust.

_Since you are so set on having my brother I would not dare to stand in your way. You have my permission to pursue Alloran at your leisure. _He laughed, shortly and bitterly. _But be warned, my Jahar. I can not promise he will have you. And even if he does you may regret your choice. You have only seen one side of Alloran, only seen his sweetness and light. I will warn you, even if you will not listen. Alloran treads the edge of madness. I am sure you two could love each other to the brink of insanity, but you will never be safe with him, as you would with me._

His expression was extremely earnest, and for a second Jahar faltered. Was she making a huge mistake? Could she go back? No, that way was closed, her marriage to Arbat, their future children, all had perished the instant his brother's name escaped her.

_I thank you for your warning, Arbat_, she replied formally. He took a step towards her, and in that instant an expression of great longing escaped from under his rigid self control, but he clamped down on it and presented Jahar with an impenetrable mask.

_Would you be kind enough to take the Starwave home, for me, Jahar? I feel in need of a very long run._

She agreed awkwardly, afraid that this was a trick, but he seemed in perfect earnest. He waited for her to board the ship, and lift off, watching her silently. Then, under her gaze, he turned away and took off, galloping across the fields as fast as he could.

Jahar gunned the engines and turned the Starwave towards Arbat's family lands.

_Full speed ahead, _she whispered to the computer. She wanted to be well away on her journey back to her lands before Arbat reached his home. As always, and, Jahar was sure, for the last time, the Starwave responded perfectly to her touch.


	9. Chapter 9

Hello, hello! Here it is, the lovely chapter 9, in which our Andalites finally pluck up the nerve to land on Earth. And yes, at the end there are similarities to the first Animorphs. This is deliberate :) Also - in case anyone's wondering about the song lyrics. They're just another way for Jahar to express herself - they weren't around before because she hadn't met human music yet but they'll be there in future chapters. Try and work out who she applies them to :)  
Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think!

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Chapter 9

_And goodness knows, the wicked's lives are lonely,_

_Goodness knows, the wicked die alone._

No One Mourns the Wicked – Wicked

We spent the equivalent of an Earth week in space, sheltering behind Earth's single moon. In that week Arbat, Kipsing and I familiarised ourselves with Earth culture, using the broadcasts streaming from the planet, shouting out to space. These humans were a very noisy race, and very unafraid of attracting attention, blasting their lives across the stars. Lortif and Medrar, the two arisths who had so bravely agreed to come with my son on this mad adventure, joined Farling in the training room, using Arbat's military programmes to improve their skills. After a hesitation, my daughter, Tirdellan, allowed me to persuade her to join them. Kipsing was also invited, but he declined, and it was clear that he viewed them as 'children', and placed himself with the 'adults' – Arbat and me.

Arbat offered little explanation for his presence on the Starwave, other than saying calmly that he had every right to be on his ship wherever she was, and after such a cool response I didn't probe further. In fact, Arbat and I didn't really talk, and we used the interfaces in our own private chambers to sort through the media blasting out from this new planet.

I liked human music immediately. It was simply astonishing, the range of sounds their mouths and 'vocal chords' could produce. Andalite music mainly consists of wordless melodies, as our thought speak just does not have the range of the human voice, and can not produce similar effects, such as the variation between a crooning 'ballad' and a rapid 'rap' (I assumed that was why it was called rap – because of its speed). Listening to 'songs', I was overwhelmed by how many of them expressed my emotions in ways I had not dreamed of, with the music adding to the power of the words. Surreptitiously, I began compiling songs which I liked, saving them to the main computer, and memorising 'lyrics' which particularly spoke to me.

Kipsing was particularly interested in human weaponry. He worked hard to distinguish between the falsehoods presented in the human media and the realities. I suppose the humans had realised that their broadcasts could be monitored, and so intermingled the truths of their culture with deliberate lies to mislead other races. It was certainly very confusing to listen to humans on the one hand praising compatriots for having travelled the short distance to their moon and back, and on the other to see a man named 'Captain Kirk' claiming to have explored the farthest reaches of space. Ultimately, they appeared to be limited to machinery which relied (in the most part) on actual chemical 'fuels' to run (a most dangerous situation), so any other types of technology could be discounted as fanciful. Kipsing, was however, fascinated by 'movies' which he found – detailed accounts of the adventures of a group of protagonists. On the seventh Earth day I entered his chambers to find him watching a 'movie' whose music was by now familiar – the story of the 'Mission Impossible'.

_Haven't you observed that account before?_ He jumped to see me, and paused the 'movie'.

_There are several different adventures in which the central protagonist participated on. I find it interesting to see the technology the humans use to deceive one another._

_Interesting for an assassin? _I asked, before I could stop myself, and cursed inwardly. He met my gaze steadily.

_Yes. As an example, humans only have two eyes but they seem to rely on their vision most of all the senses. If someone looks like someone else they will usually believe it is the other person. They do not seem to be able to distinguish each other by smell or touch, or by any mental connection. It should make morphing a human and passing as one easier than it would be to pass as another Andalite. _I leaned closer, fascinated.

_So we should be able to pass as humans easily enough. Very useful. _I paused, then dared myself to go further. _May I ask, Kipsing, why you became an assassin? _He smiled thinly.

_Why choose a career associated with shame and social taint, you mean? Simple. Poverty. My family's lands have been eroded through debt and necessary loans for generations. My father barely owned enough land to stretch his legs on, but my mother married him for love. _I smiled slightly, remembering Kalladin's fight with her parents over her desire to mate with an impoverished warrior. She had always known what she wanted, and usually got it too. Kipsing continued: _Assassins are paid in land, a plot for every kill. It is a sound incentive for an Andalite motivated by need, rather than by desire for glory. Over the years I have amassed new territories for my family. _I frowned.

_A lot of new territory, Kipsing? _

He laughed.

_Enough for my mother to be well respected. Very few of our friends know the source of our new holdings. We have invented a mythical scientist uncle at the University of Advanced Scientific Theory. Do you know it?_

_Actually I do, _I replied, surprised. _Arbat works there at times. _Kipsing pulled a face.

_I suppose that deception will not work on him then._

_Perhaps not. _

I studied Kipsing with new interest. He seemed very like his mother. She had always had all four eyes fixed on getting what she wanted, whatever the means, and it seemed that this younger Andalite was very similar. I remembered her coercing me to come out in a storm once, to see some fire lilies, a very, very long time ago.

Later that day I met with Arbat in his quarters. They had originally been assigned to Medrar, but due to limited space, Arbat had commandeered them using his position as owner of the ship, and Medrar had been squeezed into a small set of quarters which already housed Lortif and, soon Farling too as Kipsing started requesting his own living space. This arrangement had led to mutinous mutterings between the arisths, who resented being at the bottom of the pecking order when they felt that this had been originally their adventure. It had taken all my tact with Farling to persuade my son to quell his friends' discontent.

Arbat glanced up from his computer when I entered, and closed the hologram which he was interacting with.

_Jahar. _It was half a greeting, half a statement of observation to the quarters of who I was.

_Arbat. _I shifted awkwardly, and then began. _I need to talk to you, about the chain of command aboard this ship. _His expression did not change. I felt uncomfortable, aware that society demanded that I show deference to a male my age. But this was my undertaking, and I did not wish to relinquish command. So far our inaction had meant that no conflict had arisen, but when we actually went down to Earth a clear leader would be required. _I am aware that the Starwave is your ship, _I continued. _But I did not ask you to come on this journey, and it is my mission which has brought us to Earth. _

An amused expression flitted across Arbat's intelligent face.

_You want me to acknowledge you as... what is it a Hork Bajir would say? 'Hak Bhajeesh'._ He smirked at the primitive expression, which translated approximately as 'male with biggest blades, who gathers most bark'. My hearts fluttered nervously, but I held my ground.

_Yes, Arbat I do. _His smug look was very aggravating. _Will you?_ Arbat held his annoying expression, but then dipped his head formally, ironically.

_But of course, Hak Bhajeesh. _

I wanted nothing more than to tail swipe that superior expression off his face, but restrained myself and instead acknowledged his submission graciously.

_Thank you. _And then, I couldn't resist adding. _Thank you very much, Gah Driguck. _For those who don't know Hork Bajir, the term means 'small male whom I could eat alongside my bark and not notice'. It is a term of condescension, at least as far as Hork Bajir understand the concept. Arbat flashed me an exaggerated look of surprise.

_Jahar remembers her Hork Bajir well. _

_Yes, _I replied, as smug as he had been earlier. _Jahar does. _It was a small victory, but it made me feel more confident about the thought of dealing with this jilted fiancée of mine in the future.

I called a council as the Earth turned the large continents called 'North America' and 'South America' away from the sun it orbited, and the pinpricks of the artificial human lights flickered over the surface of these land masses in the dark. Standing in the centre of the main cockpit, with the others fanned out in a loose semi-circle in front of me, I surveyed my troops.

Farling and Tirdellan, my children. Tirdellan the only other female, and significantly different from the assembled males. Small, with fur that was more purple than blue, and a dancer's tail – elegant but lacking power. Farling, with a build which resembled his powerful father, Alloran. Lortif too was well built, even heavier than Farling, and coloured a deep blue with few tan patches. He stood beside Farling, the proximity of the two shorms reflecting their subconscious closeness to each other. Medrar was a little removed, and smaller than the other two arisths, gleaming with those silver tints to his fur, as if it was spun out of some metal. The sinews strained under his fur, and I was forced to admit that out of the three of them I'd want him beside me most in a tail-fight.

The assassin Kipsing was at the age where he looked young when he stood next to Arbat, but old when next to the other males. He was very lightly built, so much so that the similarity to Kalladin, his mother, was uncanny. I smiled inwardly. 'Kipsing' itself was almost the name of a female. It was just as well his fur was the brilliant blue so indicative of males, or, with his elegant face, he might have run the risk of being mistaken for Tirdellan's sister.

And finally, Arbat. It hurt to look at Arbat, so similar to Alloran that through a haze of lust I had once deceived myself too completely. He stood there with an air of great self-possession, as if there was more to his character than his body could hold, but it was bound up tightly, imprisoned through his own self-discipline in his mind. I highly doubted he would ever show me his true self again.

This was my army. These were my warriors. Six of them. Well, Jahar, you're doing well, since you thought you left the home planet with only four.

From what I had seen of the human broadcasts, I believe that when humans want to catch the attention of others they use their mouths to make some pre-emptive sound which has no meaning but draws the focus of others. Often it is 'um' or 'err'. Andalites can not do this. Instead they have to rely on their very presence to attract the attention of others. It was difficult for me to do this, as a female. Our society taught females the stance of the listener, not of the speaker, and the extra height Kipsing, Lortif and Arbat enjoyed over me did not assist me, but I had been studying Arbat over the past week, and I adopted a position he often took, thrusting my chest forwards a little and shifting my weight so that I almost felt unbalanced. Still, it seemed to work, and although I felt ridiculous, I had their eyes on me.

I had assumed the position of captain. So it was my job to have a plan.

I still didn't.

We'd come to that later.

_I have decided that it is time for us to descend to Earth and each acquire at least one human morph. Using this we will familiarise ourselves with the immediate human infrastructure of our destination._

_And then, what? _Kipsing asked. I was startled by his insolence in speaking without invitation, but perhaps a career as a freelance assassin was not conducive to a reverence for authority.

_With your permission, Hak Bhajeesh? _Arbat asked privately. I winced at his expression, but allowed him to continue. After all, if he was being used by the Andalite command as an Apex Level Intelligence Advisor then planning was his job. _I have been using the time we have had to monitor several societies, which humans sometimes refer to as 'cults', to find the Yeerks, _Arbat said calmly. _It seems reasonable to expect that since this is an undercover invasion, they will have formed some sort of exclusive group to lure humans in. Something which will allow meetings to take place and for humans to leave their normal lives for a period of time whilst their Yeerks feed without suspicion. There have been several candidates for this society – a group called the Masons, a group which practices 'Scientology', the 'Brownie and Guide' movement and several 'charities'. However, when the selection is narrowed through the application of a time limit for when it was begun (assuming the Yeerks have not taken over an existing faction on their arrival to Earth), this discounts most groups with an established history. Utilising our knowledge of the Yeerk location primarily within the country known as The Yoo-Ess-Ay, there is one prime candidate. _His eyes closed in a satisfied half smile, and I knew he was pleased with himself. _It is my belief that we must focus our attention on a group called 'The Sharing'. It offers a message of hope and community which appears to appeal to humans, but also one of exclusivity and future greatness. _He snorted gently. _A distinctly Yeerkish message. _

_I researched 'The Sharing' as you told me to, _Medrar interjected, and I shot Arbat an angry look. He'd gone behind my back!

_Remind me; who is __Hak Bhajeesh_? I asked him coldly in private thought speak. He shrugged.

_Forgive a lowly__ Gah Driguck who only wanted to help. It will not happen again._

Medrar had crossed to the main computer, and as his fingers tapped across the main interface a hologram of the Earth appeared.

_The Sharing is centred in this city_, Medrar said, pointing at a flashing dot on the coast of the Yoo-Ess-Ay. His fingers danced. _I have also discovered a very, very faint amount of trace fighter residue in this city. _The hologram zoomed in, closer and closer until we were shown a dilapidated concrete area, with inactive machines which appeared to be modelled for construction purposes. _This area is sprinkled with fighter residue. I have been analysing it. _He looked up, and his main eyes were dull with... sadness? _The fighter residue is specific to the fighters of the Dome Ship which was under the command of Captain Nerefir. The Dome ship which was reported lost by the aristh Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill._

Silence. A fighter which had been destroyed on the Earth's surface? That was a familiar story. The spectre of Elfangor, murdered by my mate's body, hovered in front of me. Somehow I found the words.

_If we find this aristh, this Aximili, we must consider the possibility of communicating with him. However we must not rely on him, but instead conduct our own investigations into The Sharing, once we have acquired human morphs. If Aximili is located no one is to approach him without my permission. Is this understood?_

Yes, they understood. They understood that we had come to Earth without permission. They understood the risk of communicating with an aristh who was known to speak directly to the Andalite high command.

He could not be permitted to discover the illegality of our actions. He would not be permitted to get in my way. Alloran was more important.

_I'm coming love, I'm coming._

_Lortif! _I called, with considerably more bravado than I really felt. _How about taking us down to Earth? _It was an expression humans often used. Lortif smiled and moved to the main computer.

_Computer, fire main engines. _I nodded to Arbat.

_You're in charge of shielding us, Arbat. _

_How kind of you, __Hak Bhajeesh, _he mocked gently. But he moved to the main interface and brought up the extra shields which screened the fingerprint of the glowing engines. Farling inched forwards towards the weapons station. Arbat snorted. _We won't need that, _he said. My son hesitated, unsure, but then took hold of the main controls.

_You never know._

We slid out from behind the moon, and pointed towards Earth. It was not a large planet, and Lortif circled it, tracing the moon's orbit. He halted us above the Yoo-Ess-Ay, and paused.

_Medrar, sensors are picking up mad amounts of debris._

_Human communications satellites, _Medrar explained. _There's a belt just outside the Earth's atmosphere which is thick with them. _His fingers skipped over the computer's interface, and a wiggly red line came up on the visual screen. It pointed straight towards the Yoo-Ess-Ay, lying placidly beneath us. Medrar pointed at it. _Follow this line and we won't hit anything. _

_We wouldn't hit anything anyway, _Lortif said crossly, but he eased the Starwave forward gently, following the path Medrar had chosen for us.

It took less time than I had expected.

Down, down towards Earth! Our gentle descent took us past the satellites – hundreds of strange metal contraptions drifting around Earth. They were what the humans used to scream out to the universe, sending their media through the many miles of space.

Then down through the layers of the Earth's atmosphere, and through a thick blanket of grey clouds.

Down through darkness, towards the glimmering lights welcoming us.

Down, to an empty and abandoned area which held the empty shells of abandoned human 'houses'; their living spaces.

_Boys and girls, welcome to Earth!_

We touched down gently, and Lortif shut off the engines.

_No trouble at all, _he said somewhat proudly. Arbat smiled.

_Excellent, young aristh. _Lortif glowed.

As an accord, we all turned to the main doors. I felt trepidation catch at my hearts. Out there was a new world, a new planet, populated by a staggering number of these humans. Billions of them walking its surface.

And somewhere, my Alloran.

_Sensors show the air quality is suitable for Andalites, _Medrar reported. _Although unusually high levels of carbon dioxide, nickel, aluminium... _He continued for a good few minutes, reeling off a list of metals and noxious gases, before looking up with an aghast expression. _Do they not realise that their air is poisonous?_

_Their industry seems to still be imperfect, _I replied, remembering the images I had seen over the past week. _Their reliance on chemical fuels is damaging. _

I edged to the doors. As Captain it would be my responsibility to take the first steps on this new world.

With a gentle woosh the doors slid open.

Behind me I heard Medrar say: _Wait! I'm picking up life readings!_

And then...

"Holy crap it's a fricking alien!"

_There appear to be four humans out here, _I snapped at the others, accusingly.

_Yes, _Medrar replied apologetically. _I did try to tell you. _


	10. Chapter 10

Heya! Thanks for being patient and waiting for this. Do let me know what you think! Originally I made Alloran quite mad, but then I thought, no. I like to think he was capable of deep calm before the war, as he is very quiet and introspective in the earlier parts of the Andalite Chronicles. It makes him rather more tragic if you believe that his madness was only brought about by the pressure of war. And besides, he clearly displays great strength of character and fortitude in the final book of the series, so this is a bit of an exporation of that.

And a reminder - this is set in the past. Please do review! :)

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Chapter 10

Alloran returned home suddenly, without warning. Or maybe it was a planned visit, but because Jahar was avoiding Arbat she hadn't heard. As it was, she was out on a morning gallop when suddenly another Andalite hove into view in the distance, or rather a blue blob did, which gradually solidified into Alloran as he drew closer.

If Jahar had had her wits with her she would have liked to have fled and avoided him entirely, but she was so stunned that she allowed him to approach her and slowed her gallop to a gentle trot. He passed her and then turned and halted, forcing her to stop and face him. The morning suns warmed her back, and the air seemed very still. She noticed his sweat streaked flanks. So, he had run the whole way.

Silence yawned between them.

It was so uncomfortable Jahar wanted to scream.

He held her gaze steadily until she was forced to look away.

And then he spoke.

_Jahar, I have never been good at subtlety so I am afraid you may find me a little blunt. _His tone was not angry, or accusatory, as she had feared, but instead it was stilted through awkwardness. Underneath was a tone of concerned puzzlement. _Arbat tells me you are no longer going to marry him, _he continued, and Jahar's hearts dropped into her hooves. No. No! Of all people Alloran was the last one she wanted to discuss this with. And it was horrible, the look of concern evident on his face. He had come to try and nudge her back into Arbat's arms! She fought to stand still, to resist the urge to run, and he must have noticed the tremors rippling through her.

_I am sorry if I am making you uncomfortable, _he said softly, and, reaching out a tentative hand, placed it on her shoulder to steady her. Jahar lent into his touch; she felt as if she could melt under his fingers, but it was all so miserably wrong to have Alloran speaking to her in this way that nausea roiled through her stomachs (which had incidentally joined her hearts in grovelling in her hooves). He started again, and each of his words scored deep leaden tracks through Jahar's soul. _Arbat really is a good Andalite. I know he loves you, and, although he's angry, he wants you back. Jahar, he can seem unfeeling but his passion for you is so strong it startles even me. At the moment he's hardly even able to speak without shaking. _

With supreme self control Jahar stepped back, shaking off Alloran's warm touch. Her words sounded formal and empty, even to her.

_I thank you for your concern, War Prince Alloran, but my mind is made up. I can not marry your brother under false pretences and the truth is that I love another._

There. She'd said it.

Alloran cocked his head quizzically.

_Poor Arbat_, he said softly. _He said you had turned from him. But who is this new Andalite who is so fortunate to have ensnared your attentions? Do I know him?_

Again Jahar backed away, a sick feeling constricting her chest.

_You must forgive me, War Prince, but that is between me and Arbat. _Alloran smiled.

_It can not remain a secret forever, Jahar, if you intend to marry this male. And it is not from idle curiosity that I ask but to see whether you really have found a mate more suitable than my brother. _His expression was serious. _I would be most disappointed, Jahar, if you jilted my brother for some passing fancy. And most sad too, as it would most certainly terminate our friendship._

Fury coursed through Jahar, black anger at this arrogant War Prince pompously demanding he be allowed to approve her lover! And rage too, because she loved him so dreadfully much, and he had the nerve to stand there, threatening to take himself out of her life.

_It's none of your concern whether I wished to throw myself away on a warrior or a mere engineer or even an artist! _She shouted. _I don't need your approval, War Prince Alloran, to make decisions in my life._

_At least you could explain your inclinations when your actions have eviscerated my brother and left him hollow, _Alloran said gently, and his mild tone and refusal to shout back tipped Jahar over the edge.

_It doesn't matter, _she screamed, and the misery of having him so near threatened to drive her to the brink of insanity. _It doesn't matter because he'll never have me! That'll make Arbat happy, I'm sure. And he knows. He knows I'll never have him! Your brother knows I will be alone forever._ The emotions she had bottled for the past few months rose in her, threatening to wash her away in a delirious tide. In that second she could have fallen to her knees and begged him to love her back, but there was just a shred of self control left, just enough to stop her.

_I assure you Arbat is anything but happy, _Alloran countered. _And why won't your mystery male have you? Is he promised to someone else?_

_No, _she said, more quietly. _He won't have me because I have gravely injured his family._

_You_? Alloran replied, and an expression of amusement spread across his face. _Innocuous little Jahar? Why, the only person anyone could ever accuse you of having injured is Arbat..._ But even as he said the words his expression changed, his thought speak faltered, a look of sheer horror (horror!) burned in his eyes. One look at her face was enough for him to receive the confirmation he needed. The walls were gone: she gave him a look of despairing pleading.

Alloran turned abruptly and left her without another word.

Jahar wanted to die.

She stayed out for many hours, wishing that the day was not so bright, wishing that the winds would tear at the grasses so that the landscape would match her shredded hearts. She completed three purifying rituals, trying to cleanse the memory of the morning from her, but she could not. She was furious with herself for having betrayed herself to Alloran, but behind the anger was the numbing realisation that his expression had not shown any welcome for her feelings at all.

Not in the least.

He had been horrified.

Horrified at the thought of enduring her loving him!

Jahar felt indescribably sorry for herself.

Her mother was away at an art exhibition, which was one consolation. Jahar couldn't stand the thought of having to pretend that everything was normal when she returned home.

When she did go back to her scoop her computer winked a little blue light which only meant one thing.

One message.

Instantly the self pity vanished, replaced by irrational, mad hope. Her hearts flipped.

Shaking, she commanded the computer to relay the communication. It was a written missive, stark black and white letters staring at her.

**Jahar, we must speak. Meet me in Fierden Copse tonight. **

That was it.

_Identify sender, _Jahar commanded, her thought speak quavering. The computer relayed a series of digits, identifying the computer the message originated from. Jahar's hearts went from flips to full out somersaults. The computer of origin was one which belonged to Alloran and Arbat's parents. But it seemed unlikely that they were talking to her, as they generally stayed remote from their sons' business.

Which made it most likely that one of the brothers had sent this message.

But which one?

Jahar nearly didn't go, but the faint optimistic hope that just maybe Alloran wanted to reconcile drove her to Fierdan copse. The light of the moons gilded the grasses with silver as she cantered through them, and their gentle swishing was soothing to her. Still, a drum was beating in her ears when she reached the copse. Under the trees, gleaming in the moonlight stood the a silent Andalite. He raised his head as he heard Jahar arrive, and she stopped short instantly.

It was Arbat.

And of course, there had always been a 50% chance of it being Arbat, but she had nearly managed to fully persuade herself that it would Alloran. She had prepared herself to meet the brother she loved. The sight of the other one threw her almost completely, and she felt unsure whether or not it would simply be easier to turn and leave. Still something held her there, some indecisive curious note within her.

_So, _Arbat said quietly. _You came._

_Did you doubt me? _She asked bravely. He laughed coldly, but there was a tremor in it, as if he was barely controlling himself.

_After your display this morning? Perhaps. _Her blood thudded around her head.

_Alloran told you, _she replied softly. He snorted.

_He asked me for counsel. Thought perhaps I knew you well enough to advise him. I told him I clearly did not. _

_With all due respect, _Jahar said bravely, _you absolved me from any connection to you. I don't see why you wished to speak with me._

_So quick to cast me off, _he mocked. _I merely wished to try and dissuade you. _She frowned, and he laughed at her confusion. _It is clear, Jahar, that you lack fidelity. I do not see why you feel Alloran could fulfil your fancy for more than a few months, since once you claimed to love me and yet seemed swift enough to regret such a definitive assertion. How long until you tire of my poor brother? Why should I allow him to even consider loving you back when all it entails for him is broken promises and shattered hearts in the future? _Jahar shrank from his criticism, but rallied herself.

_You are right; I have not treated you well. But I believed I loved you, _she said gently, honestly. _I truly did. I now see that this was an incorrect assumption, because I did not know what love really was. I assure you, even if Alloran will not have me, I will love him until the last breath leaves my body. _

Arbat looked visibly shaken, but managed to muster a cool, sneering tone again.

_And what about the next time when you 'discover' love Jahar? You say you love Alloran, but you don't even know him._

_I do know him, _Jahar countered, speaking very clearly. _And I know Arbat too. Which is why I can see who you really are. _She fixed him with a challenging glare, daring him to deny it.

He stood very still, and then demorphed, Arbat's soft body melting into Alloran's muscled form. Under the moons the steely blue sheen to his fur was striking. He lowered his head, unable to meet Jahar's eye.

_Forgive me, _he whispered, all traces of Arbat's harsh tones gone from his voice. _I had to know._

_Did you not trust me? _Jahar asked bitterly. _Did you really believe I would play with you and abandon you?_

Alloran did not answer for a minute, and when he did speak his voice was heavy with sorrow.

_I was ashamed, Jahar. Can you understand that? I was so ashamed, because I believed I had accidentally seduced you from my brother. I blamed myself for breaking his marriage. I had to know if you really loved me, or if I was just a distraction which had diverted you from Arbat._

His whole body was slumped, his tail sank forlornly towards the ground. Jahar stepped forwards tentatively.

_Alloran. I love you. _It was astonishingly simple to say those words. He raised his face, and the expression on it was softer than anything she had ever seen on a warrior's face before. Relief, and joy and desire and a half calm, half mad longing, deep as the depths of Lake Stilena.

_Jahar I have loved you since I first saw you. _The words were said in a composed tone, but again a tremor in his thought speak betrayed him. She took another tiny step towards him, and he suddenly leapt, catching her by surprise, and his hands flew to her face in a strong kiss. _I was so afraid, _he whispered, softly, and he was not mad at all but gentle. _Afraid I'd betrayed my feelings and tempted you away. _

She laughed at that, half mad with joy.

_You flirted terribly with me! _He groaned.

_Oh, if you knew the agony I felt during that time! But after you introduced me to Vitana I packed my feelings in a box. I told myself I would do my duty and marry her._

_Just as I would have done my duty and married Arbat, _she said quietly. He sighed, his whole body shuddering with spent tension, and leant in towards her. She could feel his weight pressing against her chest.

_How sad our lives could have been. _And then he paused, and pulled away from her, half frowning. _My brother really released you from all obligations to him?_

_Yes. _She giggled again, slightly dizzy, as if it were all a dream. _He said I was free to pursue you, although he couldn't promise you would want me. _

_Poor Arbat, _Alloran said again, and there was a genuine sadness in his voice. For a second Jahar was afraid that he would step away then, even then, for Arbat's sake, but then he suddenly lifted her hand and pressed it to his cheek.

_Jahar, my love. _Oh the sheer, indescribable joy of hearing those words in his voice. _Tell me, will you marry me?_

Her breath caught, and she could not answer. She wanted this one moment to roll on, for all time, with them together and the promise of a thousand happy tomorrows stretching before them. He misinterpreted her silence, and his eyes clouded with anxiety.

_I know that as a warrior I will be away often. But perhaps you could travel with me. It is mainly exploratory expeditions, of course, and I could show you new worlds. You'd have to leave your friends behind, I know, and if that matters then you could stay... _She raised her other hand to his face, silencing his babbling.

_Yes, _she said simply.

_Yes. _


	11. Chapter 11

Hallo, hallo. Yet another chapter written when I should have been revising for exams! Oh, the terrible draw of writing! Please let me know what you think of this :) Also does anyone have any questions about things which aren't clear? Do ask, I won't bite! :)  
Oh and the song Jahar and Visser Three are dancing to (bet that spoiler made you jump!) is 'Kiss me' by Sixpence None The Richer, and I don't own it in anyway (as I don't own the Animorphs).

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Chapter 11

_No one else come out. I don't want to startle these four humans_, I said.

_We should come and help you, _Farling said privately to me.

_Stay where you are for now_, I ordered_. Only come if I need you. _If we were attacked it would be better if they thought there was only one alien.

The humans stared at me. Four of them: three males and one female. And just in that four, the incredible variety within this race was evident. Their skins were different colours, as were their eyes and their head hair. Astonishing. I raised my hands in a disarming gesture. I had seen humans do it in the media streams to show a lack of threat. Perhaps it worked better for humans, though. It hardly countered the fact that my tail could have sliced through them in seconds.

_Please do not be afraid. _Did they hear me? They looked confused, but then they weren't used to thought speak.

_Jahar, what's happening? _Arbat asked. _I'm going to..._

_No, stay put, _I repeated crossly to my friends. Then I turned to the humans, who were still not blinking much at all.

"You're a real live alien?" one of them asked, using its mouth parts.

_Yes, _I said honestly. They rocked a bit, and three of them touched their heads with expressions which I supposed were wonder or surprise.

"Dude, did you hear it that time too?" one asked.

"It's like, in my head," the female said nervously. The biggest male, who I assumed was their leader, turned to me.

"Wait, how come you can speak English?"

_How come you can speak alien?_ I replied, playfully copying him. He nodded seriously and said, "Fair point, fair point."

I walked forward slightly, down the ramp from the ship, and they came to meet me.

"Do you want us to, uh, take you to our leader?" one of them asked, and laughed shakily.

_No, I am happy to talk to you,_ I said calmly. I sent waves of reassurance to them, and they visibly relaxed.

_These humans would provide good morphs for us, _Arbat said in my head.

_Yes, _I replied. _I know. _The female raised her hand.

"Can I, like, touch you?" I hesitated. Humans are a very tactile species, always touching. Andalites only really touch family members, keeping everyone else at tail's length. But I didn't want to spook them.

_Yes, _I said finally. She stretched forward, hesitantly, gently, and I felt her fingers flutter on my shoulder. She gasped.

"You're really furry!" The other humans followed her lead, reaching forward to touch (always humans want to touch!) the new thing.

_Jahar, they are too close to you, _Kipsing warned in my head. _We can't stun them without risking hitting you. _

_I've got it under control, _I replied. I smiled at those humans, grinning happily as they stroked me. And I struck.

FWAPP! FWAPP! FWAPP! FWAPP!

Four tail swipes with the blunt of my blade and they lay on the ground, stunned. It had happened so fast, the last one was still grinning as I took him out. I admit it, I was pleased with myself. It was very neatly done.

_Everyone out, except Medrar. Medrar, stick to those sensors and tell us if anyone else is coming. _

_Will do, _he replied.

Arbat emerged from the ship first, followed by the assassin Kipsing, my son Farling, my daughter Tirdellan and Lortif. The younger Andalites hesitated before stepping off the walkway onto the new soil, and I laughed quietly.

_It's perfectly safe. _Kipsing jumped down, and Lortif and Farling followed immediately, not to be outdone by the older male. Still Tirdellan faltered, but then carefully stepped onto the concrete.

_No grass, _she complained.

_And the ground tastes horrible, _Farling said, pulling a face.

_Humans didn't make it for eating, _Kipsing explained, with a superior expression. _They eat through their mouths. _Tirdellan stared at him and then laughed.

_A funny joke!_

_They really do, _Kipsing said, instantly annoyed at being doubted. _You would know if you'd used any of the last week to learn about humans. _Tirdellan's eyes widened at his insulting tone, but I warned her privately and she just moved away from him, shadowing her brother closely for whatever sense of security that gave her. Lortif, on the other hand, moved away from Farling and started an experimental trot. Farling laughed, and joined him, and Kipsing tried it too. The clattering of their hooves echoed around the deserted area.

_When we have quite finished playing around, _Arbat said icily. Lortif skidded to a stop.

_This ground is not good for running on, _he said, and gave it a kick to prove his point. _Too hard. We could strain our tendons. _

I ignored him and turned to the humans.

_Concentrate, please. There are only four humans, so the more experienced morphers should combine the DNA to produce different combinations. We can't all look the same. _

As it turned out, only Arbat, Tirdellan and Kipsing were up to that standard of morphing ability, but that was all right because that left four for the rest of us. I chose the female, the one who had wanted to stroke me like some pet. I didn't feel so bad about touching her, since I had let her go first. Lortif took the biggest male, Farling the one with the darkest skin and then Medrar switched places with Lortif and came out to acquire the final male. After we were done I ordered the Arisths to take the humans and, ensuring they remained unconscious, fly them to the other side of Earth and put them down in an area of human habitation. We couldn't have them running around talking about the blue aliens with tails, but I was loath to kill them. That seemed too much like a Yeerk, to come to a new planet and destroy the existing life. Also, I could tell the boys appreciated the responsibility in the way Lortif and Farling puffed themselves up importantly before leaving.

We kept the artificial skins the humans had been wearing. Perhaps that was harsh, but since I knew the importance humans attached to these artificial skins I decided we needed them more than they did, if we were going to fit in.

Although the many layers were very confusing.

Whilst the Arisths were away Arbat, Tirdellan, Kipsing and I tried out our new morphs. Tirdellan went first, as the best morpher amongst us. She had chosen to be female, although with darker skin than the female of the group.

Humans really are the most ridiculous creatures. In becoming one Tirdellan lost every natural advantage or weapon Andalites have. Her tail vanished, sucked into her spine. Her stalk eyes retracted, limiting her to just two facial eyes. Her front legs disappeared, and it was only because we caught her that she did not fall over. Her fingers melted into just four on each hand. Still, at least humans had opposable thumbs.

And a mouth, like a cut, opened in her face.

_How is it? _Kipsing asked. She frowned her human face.

"I am cold. Colduh. Duh." She laughed in astonishment at the sounds her mouth made. I handed her some of the human clothes. "Thank you. Thh. Thankuh. Yer. You."

_Any reason you're speaking like an addled fool? _Kipsing asked sneeringly.

_The mouth is very interesting, _Tirdellan replied, hurt and using thought speak to avoid the temptation to make more sounds. _It feels strange. I have a tongue and teeth. _"Tongue and teeth." _There. I can use it perfectly. _She wobbled, and stretched out her arms for balance. _Be careful. It is very precarious. And you can't see behind you. I don't like being human much._

Kipsing didn't wait any longer, but immediately started his own morph, and Arbat and I followed suit.

It was so strange being human! I lost so much of my body mass I felt unbearably unbalanced. The two feet were not very stable, with no tail for balance, and although the two eyes had better depth perception than Andalites would have just using their facial eyes, they were very limiting being set in the face. My hearing was not noticeably changed. My hands strangely heavy. No fur worth mentioning meant that I felt very cold, as Tirdellan had commented, and I used some of the artificial skin to cover up. There wouldn't be a huge amount of it between seven of us... no five! Kipsing had managed to morph with the layers of artificial clothing on, and so, with a look of extreme concentration, had Arbat. Tirdellan looked at them jealousy.

_I didn't realise we could do that, _she said crossly. _Next time I will. _She repeated her words, using her mouth, and managed to avoid the temptation to play with the sounds.

The mouth. So strange. I blew my lips out and they made a rasping sound. I laughed at it, the giggle vibrating my throat.

"What strange devices mouths are," Kipsing said, looking pleased with his precise pronunciation.

"Very tempting to misuse," I agreed, running my tongue over the hard teeth. Arbat squinted up at the sky.

"Here come the boys," he said, and his teeth were clenched. It made him sound angry. "Why are the fools not bothering with shields? Do they want us to be seen?"

_High spirits, _I said quietly. But I was angry. They were acting too carelessly!

The Arisths hadn't waited for their return to try out their new morphs, and as soon as the ship landed three human males bounded out, laughing hysterically.

"Mother, Mother, thhh, look, kuh, look at me. Mmm. Eeee," Farling cried, dancing madly around the ship. I laughed, my anger evaporating, as Medrar and Farling joined in in trying out their mouths, and then ended up falling over as they attempted to run too fast. Arbat glared at me, but I stepped close to him whilst Tirdellan and Kipsing mocked the Arisths together for failing to talk properly.

_They're young. If no harm is done, why be angry?_

_Do you want warriors or children? _Arbat asked shortly, and he strode away crossly into the Starwave. I sighed inside as I admonished the Arisths for their foolishness. Arbat was right. They could not remain children any longer here.

_Jahar, come and see this, _Arbat called to me when I'd finished telling them off. As if I was the mother of all of them. I used my two legs to walk into the ship and found him accessing the human 'internet' on the main computer screen. He pointed towards the display. "This is the website the Sharing uses to promote itself. And look." He highlighted some text. "They are having a meeting tomorrow night, on a beach near here." He moved the curser so that it pointed to the words at the bottom of the announcement.

'The Sharing is about inclusivity. Anyone is welcome to attend'

"Do you think that includes Andalites?" I asked, trying to keep the tremors of excitement out of my human voice. Arbat smiled using his new mouth.

"It says 'anyone' Hak Bhajeesh. I'm sure that incorporates us."

I used the day before the meeting to go into the centre of the human 'city' with Arbat and Kipsing, to get human currency (Arbat fiddled for a few minutes with an 'ATM' and then it started vomiting 'dollar bills' at us), and more human clothes. The variety of their clothes was astonishing - they all insisted on dressing in a myriad of colours to distinguish between themselves. We found 'jeans' – the blue coverings used on the human lower half, and 'tops' too, for our upper halves. It was not too difficult to watch the humans already there buying the clothes and mimic their choices.

And we discovered a 'food court'.

Here's a thing about human mouths. They have something called taste. It is the most powerful, most incredibly wonderful sensation ever. Rather unsuspectingly I walked up to the counter and asked for a 'brownie'. Exactly forty seven seconds later I was back.

"Another brownie, now, please, oh yes, another brownie, now!" The human gave me an odd look and handed it over in its paper bag. I tore it open and stuffed it into my mouth and it was just as amazing as the first time! The sensation! The explosion of 'flavour'! Oh yes! "Mmmmmm," I moaned incoherently.

_Jahar seems to be enjoying herself, _Arbat commented snidely from where he was sitting at the table. He hadn't tried the food yet. I turned to the man behind the counter, and I suppose I must have looked a little frightening. He visibly backed away. "What is that sensation? Tell me now!"

"Um, I guess that's just a very good chocolate brownie, miss."

"Chocolate." I grinned hungrily. "Give me everything you have which is chocolate. Now!" He raised his eyebrows, but I didn't know what that meant.

"Are you sure?" I pulled out the 'dollar bills' we had acquired and handed some over to him.

"Is this enough?" He laughed and gave more than half back to me.

"It's not going to cost you five hundred bucks!" I watched predatorily as he scooped up the rest of the brownies from their display case, and then selected other items, all of them unified by their rich brown colour. Was that what chocolate was?

I practically ran out of the 'mall' with my bags, not trusting myself to have any more of that deliriously wonderful substance in public. Arbat and Kipsing joined me in the empty alley I chose.

"Jahar you are acting extremely strangely," Kipsing said worriedly. I handed him a brownie.

"Put it in your mouth." I gave another one to Arbat, and watched them closely as, suspiciously, they ingested the brownies.

"Oooohhh!" Kipsing's eyes rolled with pleasure. Arbat gobbled his and reached for another.

"More, Hak Bhajeesh! NOW!" I laughed and held them out with one hand, stuffing more into my mouth with the other. Kipsing snatched at another bag, cramming its contents frantically into his maw.

_I think we had better not let the Arisths near these, _Arbat said solemnly in my mind. I nodded, agreeing with his wise judgement. The effect was rather spoiled by the fact that he had the brownie bag over his head at the time and was chasing crumbs frantically with his tongue.

The Sharing meeting had a banquet of food at the side. We stood on the beach, under floodlights and the solitary Earth moon, listening to Sharing leaders (who were no doubt vile Yeerks) talking about their vision for the Sharing (which no doubt included infesting every single human there with a slimy parasite) and all I could think was FOOD! There was even a chocolate 'fondue' and I didn't know what that was, but it had the magic word 'chocolate' and it smelt **good**. I had forbidden the Arisths and Tirdellan from touching food, telling them solemnly that it was very distracting, but I couldn't help the fact that I was salivating madly.

At the end of the speeches the humans applauded (a very odd human custom!), and a man who had been standing behind the speakers approached the microphone. Instantly my appetite vanished.

It was him.

I don't know how I knew. I just **knew**.

_Visser Three, _Arbat hissed unnecessarily to me. Around me I saw my comrades stiffen slightly, and knew he had told them too. I kept a close eye on Tirdellan and Farling. I could not predict how they would react to seeing their father after so many years.

He smiled, and it was terrifying because I could just see the evil squatting behind those eyes. And somewhere too, deep down, was my Alloran, hidden almost beyond reach.

"Well I don't know about you, but that's certainly given me something to chew on," Visser Three said. He frowned. "Speaking of chewing, do help yourselves to the buffet. There'll be a dance on the sand beginning shortly, and a game of midnight volleyball as well." He smiled again and I was felt as if he was sizing us all up, like small brownies for him to devour one by one. "Nothing else for me to say but to ask you to complete the greatest directive of the Sharing, that is, to enjoy yourselves!" There were appreciative laughs and again applause.

The humans started drifting towards the tables, but I only had eyes for the Yeerk Visser. He had stepped away from the microphone and was talking to the other speakers. I edged closer, desperate to hear what they were saying.

_Not too close please, Jahar, _Kipsing warned in my mind. I growled crossly. Of course, my bodyguard would try and ensure I maintained a nice safe distance.

_I'll be fine. There are lots of humans around. _Out of the corner of my eye I noticed both Kipsing and Arbat winding their way through the crowds before me, and I grumpily changed tack and headed towards the small bandstand. _There, I'm moving away. Happy now?_

_We are here merely to observe, _Arbat said gently. I was still grumpy, but my mood cooled as the band behind me struck up some music. Several humans moved onto a cleared space on the sand and started to dance in couples. It was so innocent I could almost forget that I was probably surrounded by controllers. I closed my eyes to listen to the music, as a member of the band stepped up to a microphone and started singing. I knew this song. I had heard it the previous week.

_Jahar!_ Medrar cried in my mind. I opened my eyes quickly and realised that some humans were laughing loudly. I turned to the sounded, and realised with horror it was coming from the food table.

_Jahar, you're nearest, _Arbat called to me. The food table was to my left, the dancing couples between it and Arbat and Kipsing. I pushed my way through the gathering crowd and saw that the centre of attention was my little band.

_Mother, _Tirdellan screamed, spying me. _Help me! _She was trying to restrain her brother as he pulled towards the tables.

"I want it!" he shouted. "Let me go, curse you!" His shirt was stained with food. Lortif was at the table, looking quite delighted as he picked up various delicacies, took bites out of them and put them back down. The humans were laughing at Tirdellan, encouraging Farling on.

"Come on, let the boy eat something!"

_Farling, get a hold of yourself!_ I screamed. He hesitated, and Tirdellan gave him a hard yank, pulling him back, and he lost his precarious balance and fell down. Medrar ran up to help Tirdellan and together they dragged Farling back into the crowd. I turned back to Lortif. _Oh no, Lortif don't!_ As I watched, he dipped his finger in the chocolate 'fondue', brought it to his mouth and licked it. It clearly had the same effect on him as it had on me, judging by the sudden gleam in his eyes. Without hesitation he lowered his face right into the bowl of brown liquid and submerged it. I could tell from the sounds the humans were making that this was definitely not what you were supposed to do.

I managed to push my way through to his side just as he came up for air, his entire face covered in chocolate. It smelt **incredible**! It was all I could do not to lick it off him there and then, but I managed to summon enough self control to grab his arm instead.

_Lortif, you need to leave now!_ He raised a hand and wiped chocolate out of his eyes, turning and spying me.

"Oh, hello. Have you tried this, Jahar? It's really quite wonderful!" I growled and dragged him away from the bowl.

_Have you lost your wits? Don't address me publicly by that name! _He giggled and wobbled, and anxiety flooded through me. This was worse than any of us had been with food.

"Why not call you Jahar? Your name is Jahar isn't it?"

_Lortif shut up!_ I screamed. He knocked something off the table as I pulled him back, a placard. It said** Vodka chocolate fondue**. I didn't know what vodka was, but I didn't like the effect it was having on Lortif.

Somehow we managed to stagger through the crowd to the edge of it, and by the time we reached open space beside the dancers Lortif had calmed down a bit.

"I'm very sorry," he said formally, looking ridiculous with the chocolate dribbling off him. Tirdellan and Medrar came up to me and I gave him an angry shove towards them.

_Take him and my idiot son away. Get them cleaned up. It was a mistake to bring them, clearly. _Lortif hung his head at the disgust in my voice, but I didn't remit. His stupidity might have got us into trouble. I watched as they led Lortif away into the darkness. Fury still coursed through me. Fury that I was stuck with stupid children.

I sensed a presence behind me, and a voice said, "Jahar?"

"Yes?" I turned, and instantly an iron hand closed down hard on my arm and I was yanked, nearly off my feet, into the dance floor.

"I thought he called you that," my partner hissed, and I whirled around, already knowing what I was going to face. Visser Three smiled at me, the human face he presented to me as fake as the Andalite one he usually wore. He was a slug. A vile slug. And he held my husband prisoner.

_Come, keep dancing or the humans will suspect that we have had a lovers' quarrel_, the Yeerk laughed in my mind. His grip was very strong, to the edge of pain, and I skipped obediently to his beat, my mind frozen. _By the way, don't even think about running, _he added._ You're surrounded by my people, so you may as well enjoy the moment. _

Was he right? Of course. This was his organisation. How had I been so careless? This was Lortif's fault. I would have been angry, but I was too alarmed. There was something so powerfully evil about the Visser that it held you half under his control.

_Arbat? _I whispered, frightened. _Kipsing? _I couldn't see them. Visser Three spun me and I nearly tripped, unused to moving so fast on two feet.

_So what brings you to Earth, my Jahar? _he asked, and his voice was sickeningly familiar but at the same time jarringly wrong. _Not that I can't guess._

_Don't call me that, _I warned as we jigged left. He snickered again.

_So you __**can**__ speak! Have you come all the way across the galaxies just to see me, little Jahar? _We were still dancing, and I realised he was stalling. He knew what I was but he wasn't doing anything about it. Why wouldn't he? Couldn't he? Were we surrounded by enough free humans that he couldn't risk a scene? Most races reacted adversely to the sight of a male dragging a screaming female away, and I could only assume humans were the same.

_So how many of these really are your people, Visser? I'm guessing if it really was as much as you say I'd be in chains by now. _The song faded away, but we were in the middle of the floor, surrounded by other dancers. The two of us halted a second, glaring at each other, and new music started, slow and dreamy. Visser Three's hands dropped to my waist, pulling me close, again his hold too hard to break.

_We dance this one slowly, like lovers, _he mocked in my mind. Around me human couples swayed, intoxicated by romance. My skin crawled under his touch, but out of the corner of my eyes I caught a flash of movement. Had that been Arbat?

_Prepare yourself, Jahar_, Kipsing whispered. _Arbat has bribed some humans to provide us with a distraction. _More humans, running. Too obvious! I needed the Visser paying attention just to me. I leaned in closer to him and he laughed.

I looked up, meeting his gaze, staring deep into his eyes, searching for just a hint of my husband. _I came alone_, I lied. _Let me speak to Alloran. Please. After that I don't care what you do with me._ The Visser regarded me thoughtfully and then snorted.

_How revoltingly sentimental! Even Alloran's stomachs are churning! _Anger rose in me, anger at hearing my husband's emotions being flung at me like weapons by his slave master.

"I'll make you regret using him as you have," I snarled through my teeth. The Visser leaned in close, pressing our bodies together. In the background the singer had reached the chorus of the song.

'Oh, kiss me, beneath the milky twilight  
Lead me, out on the moonlit floor'

The irony was powerful.

_Listen to me,_ Visser Three began, but suddenly I heard a shout.

"SURPRISE HOSE!"

A wall of water hit us, and we were knocked to our feet, Visser Three on top of me. The sand broke my fall but I was drenched, the water obscuring my vision. The Visser pushed himself up to his knees.

_What?_ He screamed, outraged, and the humans on the ground around me grabbed their heads, astonished by the thought speak. It was all I needed to see. The vast majority of them were not Yeerks. They were not running to help their Visser. As the water showered us he was hauled back, off me, shouting in rage, and I glimpsed Arbat.

_Time to go, Jahar! _I scrambled out from under the Visser.

"Stop her!" he howled, but Kipsing took control of the hose and directed it straight at him, the weight of the water knocking him down again. The Visser gave an outraged roar and we turned, racing through the crowd of spectators and controllers alike. Hands tore at me, but there was such a scrum that we could lose ourselves in it. All I was aware of was Arbat's hand gripping my arm, as strong as my husband's had only minutes ago, but Arbat was dragging me to safety whilst Alloran had been holding me captive, however unwillingly.

We emerged from the crowd, the three of us, and dived into the dunes. I didn't know where the younger ones were. I didn't care. I staggered and collapsed on my knees, my wet clothes clinging to me.

_Jahar, we need to keep going_, Kipsing said fretfully.

_I didn't see him, _I said miserably. Arbat and Kipsing seized my hands, pulling me to my feet and half carrying me between them as they ran. Hot trickles of water were running down my face, what humans call 'crying'. _I looked into his eyes and I didn't see Alloran. He wasn't there._


	12. Chapter 12

Heya! Ok, it's been a while, but this was hard to write :( So, this chapter is another one set in the past, but a bit of time has gone by (as you will see). Please, as always, let me know what you think. Thanks so much to everyone who's stuck with me so far! *happy author dance*

**Spoiler! don't read if you don't want to know!  
**This chapter kind of works around the first Aldrea chapter of _The Hork Bajir Chronicles - _when Alloran goes off scene he is going to the interview Aldrea sees him have with Seerow

* * *

Chapter 12

The Yeerk sky was streaked green and yellow. Jahar looked up at it and sighed in her hearts.

_Come, let's go back to _the _Andalite-Yeerk Peace and Cooperation Center, _she called to Aldrea. The company of the younger female was one of the few pleasures this planet offered. No grass underfoot. Little water, save the sludgy mess in the great Yeerk pools. Acid rain which forced Andalites to shelter at night.

Jahar did not like this planet.

But she never said a word to Alloran. Her new husband was climbing the career ladder fast, and when he had been offered the position of second in command during the Andalite-Yeerk peace negotiations they had both rejoiced. The Andalites had discovered no other truly sentient race like the Yeerks; it was a great honour for Alloran to act as a diplomat for the Andalite race. And she had insisted that she came too, horrified at the thought that after a bare season's marriage he would leave her for such a long time.

When Alloran was occupied with his duties it was Aldrea's company which kept Jahar sane. Seerow's daughter was the only other female Andalite on the base, and they had formed a greater friendship through their mutual loneliness. As they galloped over the hard ground Jahar examined Aldrea and felt a stab of pity for her. She was just reaching adulthood, but the only Andalite her age for light years was her brother. Besides, it was a brave warrior who spoke to the daughter of the honoured Seerow. His novel negotiations with the Yeerks commanded limited respect, but his position and military connections silenced any protests.

_What do you think of Yeerks? _Aldrea asked, as they reached the Eastern edge of the main Yeerk pool, the Sulp Niar. As Jahar watched a Gedd kneeled and its head was lowered by another beneath the dark surface. She shivered.

_Intellectually they have demonstrated great capacity and potential, _she reeled off automatically. Aldrea laughed, the bitter laugh of a lonely child.

_You sound like my father. He can't get enough of their 'intellectual potential'. _Jahar frowned.

_You are less impressed? _Aldrea shrugged.

_Look at their bodies, _she said. _They are not __**meant**__ to see ships and fly. They do not have hands or eyes. If we had not met them their lives would still revolve around their primitive pool festivals. _

_Is it so wrong that we should help a less fortunate species advance? _Jahar asked diplomatically. Aldrea snorted.

_Look at them, _she cried, throwing her hand out and indicating a shuffling Gedd. _Father says it is a form of symbiosis, but they are enslaved. How the Yeerks must loathe us! We can run! We can see everywhere. We have tails! _She cracked hers over her head. _How long until they want us, Jahar?_

Trickles of anxiety slid through Jahar.

_Where have you heard such talk? _She asked cautiously. She knew where she had. From her husband, every night, as he grew less and less enamoured with the new 'friends' of the Andalites.

_The warriors, _Aldrea said quietly. She laughed and turned her stalk eyes to Jahar. They were nearing the compound. _Can you keep a secret, Jahar? One I cannot even tell my parents?_

_Of course, _Jahar replied seriously.

_I can morph, _Aldrea said. _A friend of mine exposed me to the technology. I morph a Kafit bird and fly around the warriors. They don't know I'm listening to what they say. _Jahar stared at her in shock and then laughed, amused.

_You are full of surprises, Aldrea! Don't worry, I won't even tell Alloran. In return though, you must promise not to mention the talk of those warriors to your father. It would only upset him. _

_I promise, _Aldrea said gravely. They had reached the compound, and she bid Jahar farewell and went to her family quarters.

Due to the acid rain the Andalites were forced to live in covered dwellings, very unlike the open scoops they were used to. Jahar always felt a claustrophobic tremor as she entered her quarters, but this time it was replaced instantly with joy.

_Alloran! I didn't expect you back yet! _He smiled tiredly.

_Not much to do today Jahar. A meeting with the Council of Thirteen and then checking supplies. We still seem to be missing some shredders but I'm sure they will turn up. _He shuddered and rubbed his temples wearily. _Jahar, when did I become a politician and a quarter master?_ She laughed and walked over to him, reaching up and taking his face in her hands.

_When you became the second most important Andalite in the army, _she said proudly. He smiled again.

_Ah, I knew there had to be a reason I haven't just booted up The Jahar, popped you inside and absconded. _He leant into her and she could feel the exhaustion in his limbs.

_Poor Alloran, working so very hard, _she said quietly. _How much longer? _He shrugged.

_It takes as long as it takes, my love. _

_Well at least you have me here, _she said contentedly, and he laughed.

_My saviour. How did I ever survive without you, love? _She raised her head and met his gaze.

_Alloran, I need to speak to you. _

_Mmmm?_

She grinned, her hearts flipping as she told him. _It might not just be us two much longer, dear. _He stiffened, and searched her eyes imploringly, before an expression of genuine delight flooded his eyes.

_Jahar! Are you sure?_

_Yes, _she said proudly. He hugged her close.

_Thank you, _he said softly, and Jahar wriggled free.

_Thank you? _she repeated. His eyes were soft and loving.

_Jahar, you have just made me the happiest Andalite in the galaxy. _She sighed and cuddled close again.

_Then I will join you there. _

For the last time ever, they held each other in the happy knowledge that the universe was at peace, that the future was bright, that possibilities gleamed for them. A million incipient tomorrows shone brilliantly, the glow of success and love warming their hearts.

**SCREEEEEEEEE!!**

Jahar opened her eyes as the alarm wailed in her ears.

_Alloran? _Her mate mumbled sleepily and she gave him a shove. _Wake up! _She said it grumpily, and gave him a light swipe with the flat of her tail. His eyes flickered open.

_What is this domestic abuse?_

_The alarm's going, and it won't stop until you go off and hold everyone's hand in security, _Jahar said, cross because of her interrupted sleep. Alloran stretched in an Andalite yawn.

_Probably some rodent ran across the compound sensors. Those fools in security set the things off at the least provocation. _Despite his grumblings he grabbed a shredder and stroked her gently on the cheek with his hand.

_Don't be too noisy coming back in. I'm trying to sleep, _Jahar said tetchily. He laughed, kissing her with both hands.

_Don't expect __**any **__sleep when I get back, beautiful. _She smiled luxuriously.

_Promises promises. Go on, you'd better go. _He stroked her for another few seconds, but then turned and left.

Jahar drifted back to sleep long before his return, but he slammed back into their quarters so loudly that she jumped awake.

_Alloran? _With a stab of fear she saw that his eyes were wild, and he was shaking, his chest heaving. She crossed to him and timidly reached out to touch him. _What's wrong love?_

_Prince Seerow is a fool! _Alloran shouted furiously, and she took an unconscious step back at his vehemence. He let out an Andalite curse and strode away from her, pacing the confines of their living space. _An addled fool who has unleashed a curse on the galaxy. _Tendrils of terror slipped through Jahar's veins. She'd never seen Alloran look so angry, or so dangerously mad. _The Yeerks were never interested in peace and Andalite friendship, _Alloran spat. _Those filthy slugs stole six ships and absconded to Zero Space. They murdered my men! Twenty four Andalites! Butchered! Slaughtered because they were under stupid stupid orders not to fire on our 'friends' the Yeerks. _He came to a halt, and lowered his head and slumped, as if the entire weight of this horrible planet had descended on his shoulders. _My men slaughtered whilst I slept. _His voice was unbearably sad.

Jahar stepped forward and reached out to him again. This time he accepted her touch and fell to his knees.

_It's not your fault, _she said softly, trying desperately to keep the horror out of her voice. She had known every warrior on this station, known them as friends. Which ones had fallen? Which had survived?

_It is Seerow's fault, _Alloran said bitterly. _But that won't prevent us all from paying for it._

_Calm, _she whispered, gently stroking his temples, wishing she could pour strength and reassurance into him through her fingertips. She had nothing to say which could save him from the sorrow and misery. _Calm, love. _It was as if all his youth, his strength, his vigour had been drained from him, as he knelt on the floor in front of her, crushed by the loss of hope.

_Seven hours ago I was happy, _Alloran said flatly. _I was happy because we were going to bring a child into this world. Now I wish the poor thing a million miles away. _Jahar gasped. It was as if he had kicked her.

_Alloran, these murders are horrible. But how does it affect us? _She knelt beside him, and he met her eyes with a terrible look of pity and love.

_Jahar, this is war. They took a quarter of a million Yeerks with them. A quarter of a million intelligent, ruthless parasites combing the universe for slaves. They'll find them. And when they have enough soldiers they'll come for us. This is war, my love._

Jahar stood up slowly, and the knowledge that her child within her had been cursed before it was even born leant her strength. She reached down and pulled her young (he was still only young!) husband to his feet. Using her tail blade she forced his chin up, forcing his despondent eyes to meet her gaze.

_Then fight it! _she snarled. _Fight this war! Fight for our children, and wipe the universe clean of every single vile slug!_

A look of dementia to match her own flowed into Alloran's green eyes. They sparkled with liquid madness.

_I __**will**__ fight, _he hissed. He took her hand, pulling her close. _For us, Jahar. I will do whatever it takes to rid ourselves of them. For our children. For you. _


	13. Chapter 13

Hello! I know, I know, it's very bad of me to give you another cliffhanger, but so much happens that I can't take care of all the action in one chapter! It would be huge! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and please, as always (:P) let me know what you think :)

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Chapter 13

My meeting with the Visser shook me to the core, and over the next few days I succumbed to the influence of heavy, despondent lassitude. The sheer power of Visser Three's personality had clearly buried my poor husband, and I felt that it had overwhelmed me too, so that I lacked the courage to even attempt to fight him. It seemed clear that I could never have succeeded in reclaiming Alloran, and if I tried again I would only get my friends killed.

Fortunately for me, my friends were rather less apathetic than I, and after two days moping in my quarters I was interrupted by a buzz on the intercom.

_Enter._

It was Lortif, the pilot aristh. I hadn't spoken to him since that night at the Sharing when he had allowed Visser Three to identify me. Standing in front of me, he shifted uncomfortably under my glare.

_I've come to apologise for my behaviour, _he said quietly.

_It's taken rather a long while,_ I said, in a tone that was rather nastier than I intended.

_Yes, _he said. _But I wanted to be able to do something to make up for my previous failings. _I twitched my tail in interest and motioned for him to go on. _I recognised one of the controllers who chased you and Arbat and Kipsing at the Sharing, _Lortif continued. _Farling and I searched the Sharing website and found him. Kipsing and Tirdellan helped us, and Medrar too, but we did it because Farling and I wanted to apologise._

_And where is my wayward son now? _I asked. Farling's shorm smiled, a dazzling smile, and I suddenly realised that Lortif would be very handsome one day when he was fully grown. He was of a similar build to my own Alloran.

_Farling is guarding the prisoner, _he said proudly. I stared in shock.

_You caught a controller? You brought him on the ship? _It was inconceivable! I'd been out of action for a mere two days and they'd... No, they couldn't possibly have!

_Come and see for yourself, _Lortif said.

I followed him to the arisths' quarters. Their paraphernalia had been cleared into a corner, and in the centre of the room was a human male, sitting on the ground, bound with loops of wire and with a blindfold over his eyes and a piece of material tied over his mouth. He shied away at the sound of my hooves on the Starwave's floor.

_Kipsing's idea, _Farling explained when he saw me enter and look at the material in confusion. My son was lounging against the near wall, keeping both stalk eyes trained on the controller. _It's called a 'gag'. It stops him calling us names._

_How ever did you catch him? _I whispered, my hearts racing. What awful risks had my children taken to please me?

_He was jogging near this area, _Farling said. _Apparently some humans run for recreation, though most don't. Lortif morphed a Kafit bird to keep a watch for other people, and Tirdellan morphed her human morph. She persuaded him that she was hurt and needed his help. When he came to help her I stunned him with a shredder, and Kipsing helped us get him back to the ship. He's been here for a few hours._

I laughed, still reeling slightly. _Does Arbat know you brought a Yeerk onto his baby?_

_No. _Farling frowned. _Will he be angry? We were hoping this controller could help us get close to the Visser. _

_Don't worry, I'll deal with your uncle, _I assured him. I smiled at him and Lortif, who had sidled in and now stood at my son's side. _And as for you two... _They waited uncertainly, and inside I felt a great wave of affection for them and their eagerness to please me. _Congratulations on a successful mission. _They beamed, and I laughed. _And I suppose I must find Tirdellan and Kipsing and congratulate them too. You've done wonderfully, whilst I have been most negligent of my duties as your leader. I apologise._

I had been keeping my thought speak private, shutting the controller out of what we were saying, but I now turned my attention to him.

_Lortif, remove the gag and blindfold, _I commanded, using my most imperial tone. He crossed to the human and slid his tail blade under the blindfold near the human's eyes, ripping the material away with a twitch of his tail. It must have been a terrifying experience, to judge from the wide eyed expression of the controller. Lortif performed the same operation with the gag and stepped back. A dribble of blood seeped from our enemy's mouth, a trickle of strange and lurid scarlet. I strode into the view of the controller.

_What is your name filth? _I demanded. He shuddered but didn't reply, his eyes watching me suspiciously. I paced in front of him, back and forth, letting him see my tail twitching as if I was seconds away from slicing into him. _Why keep up this charade? We know you are a Yeerk. A human would have spoken by now._

"I will tell you nothing, Andalite scum," he spat vehemently. I glanced at Farling.

_What is his host's name?_

_Jason Clement, _my son replied. I turned back to him.

_Well then, 'Jason Clement', listen very carefully. _It made me feel sick to terrorise such a pitiful, helpless enemy, but I forced all traces of sympathy from my voice. With a sneer I gestured at the walls. _We have the capacity to hold you, slug. You will not be found. You will starve, slowly and painfully. You will die. Unless you co-operate. Unless you tell us how to get into the Yeerk pool._

He struggled to his knees and I knew then, knew that he wouldn't help, knew that I would have to kill him. "Burn in hell," he snarled. I was about to start talking again, but thought speak interrupted me.

_Jahar. _I turned to the entrance to the quarters. Arbat stood there, with an air of awful stillness.

_Don't interrupt me now, _I said crossly, but his gaze didn't waver.

_Leave us, Jahar, _he said quietly, his thought speak private and for me alone. _Leave us now, whilst you are still good and loving and kind. _I faltered, and he turned and quickly dismissed Farling and Lortif. They looked at me for confirmation and I nodded for them to leave.

_I'm not a child, _I said softly. _I'll stay. _Arbat stepped forwards and took my hands. It was surreal! A controller cowered barely three feet away and all I could see were Arbat's eyes, sparkling green in front of me.

_Alloran would never forgive me if I allowed you to become us, _Arbat said, and a look of unsettling affection gleamed at me from those eyes. _Leave whilst you are still the Jahar we both love._ He reached up, hesitatingly, to my cheek, and I pulled away angrily.

_Fine. Get me what I want._ I strode furiously from the quarters. Arbat did not stare forlornly after me, as I had expected, but instead was already turning to the quivering controller and I felt sick. I managed to hold myself together as far as my own quarters, but once in them I collapsed, falling to my knees and shaking. If Arbat hadn't stopped me what would I have allowed myself to do? I had never tortured before. I had never even killed. I had always left such horror to be the burden of these two brothers; one who had shared his softer side with me and shielded me from the horror which led him to commit atrocities and the other who loved me in vain, who shielded me too, even when I gave him no hope. I was unbelievably grateful, at that moment, for Arbat's love. He would be the villain, the monster; so that when I returned to his brother my hearts would be free from horror. So that, once again, I could support my stained husband and balance his dreadfulness with myself.

After an hour or so I went to find Tirdellan and Kipsing. Her quarters were empty, but the mystery was solved when I entered his, as they were both there. They jumped guiltily as I entered, and I laughed at the absurdity of the fact that I had frightened them.

_Sorry I startled you. I wanted to find you both, and congratulate you on your success. _Tirdellan flushed, pleased, and I suddenly noticed that her hand was trailing on Kipsing's lower shoulders. She removed it guiltily at my gaze. Kipsing smiled, not noticing.

_With any luck this controller will tell us how to access the Yeerk pool, _he said happily. He took a step forwards, away from Tirdellan, unconsciously distancing himself from her in front of me. _If you need help interrogating him?_

I recoiled at his offer, instinctively revolted. He was still young! He couldn't know what he was committing himself to! He hadn't seen the burden war had lain on my husband's shoulders, my husband who had once been as young and attractive as Kalladin's son. But then... he was an assassin. He was a killer. And you wouldn't know it. I couldn't see it in his easy stance, in his relaxed and casual poise. And I knew then, in an instant, beyond a shadow of doubt, that I did not want my daughter involved with this dashing young male. I did not want her to love one who bore death so easily.

_Arbat is managing it, _I said stiffly. Kipsing nodded.

_No doubt he is very competent, _he agreed._ Still, if he should require assistance..._ On an impulse I changed my mind. Maybe out of some petty fear I wanted to him damn himself irrevocably; maybe I wanted to allow his bloodlust free rein until even my innocent daughter could see it.

_Very well then, if you would like to help. The controller is being kept in Farling's quarters. _Kipsing left us eagerly, and Tirdellan frowned at his almost indecent speed. I eyed her carefully, and she avoided my gaze.

_I am old enough to make my own choices, _she said quietly. I wanted to move forward, to reassure my daughter, to tell her she would make the right ones, but something stayed me. At her age I had discovered the misery of illicit love, and then its happy, yet tragically short, resolution. Perhaps my daughter would have better luck than me.

_Just make sure they are good ones, _I replied, and her head snapped up, eyes wide with surprise.

_You don't mind? s_he asked. I shrugged.

_He has extensive lands. His mother and I are old friends. He is clearly brave, intelligent and successful. There can be no logical objections. _

Tirdellan hesitated.

_Are you aware that he is an assassin? _she asked tentatively. 'Are you aware that he is a monster?' I wanted to reply, but I didn't. Instead I reached forwards my tail and touched hers gently.

_Believe me, if you truly did love him then what I thought of that would not stop you._ She frowned.

_So you __**do**__ disprove?_ I shook my head.

_I said nothing. However, if you feel that the correct response from me is disapproval, and if that worries you, then I would suggest you do not commit yourself to anything foolish. _I paused, then added. _As I did._

Her eyes widened. _What did you do, mother?_

_I promised to marry someone I thought I loved, _I replied gently. _And when I realised I did not I broke his hearts. _Tirdellan shivered.

_How did you live with yourself? _she inquired.

_Your father saved me, _I replied softly. _I never told him, but I would probably have killed myself if he had not rescued me from my despair. _I stepped away, back to the doors. _That's why I'm here, Tirdellan. That's why I've dragged you all across the galaxy. Because I despaired and he saved me. It's time I returned that favour._

Arbat and Kipsing announced success as the day drew towards evening and the ghostly white Earth moon hovered in the sky. Arbat was extremely reserved, his character bound once more with hoops of iron, but Kipsing was openly exultant.

_It took a lot of persuading, but we have our entrance to the Yeerk pool, _he told us. Involuntarily I glanced towards Arbat and he met my gaze.

_As soon as we had what we needed I put him out of his suffering, _he whispered to me, and I was grateful for the illusion that we had acted mercifully.

_So, where is it? _Medrar asked curiously.

_McDonalds,_ Kipsing said proudly. There was a pause and we all looked at him. The same question was on everyone's minds, but the arisths clearly weren't going to ask it out of fear of looking foolish.

_And what's McDonalds? _I finally said. Kipsing shrugged.

_I don't have a clue, but that's where the entrance is. _

_How useful, _Tirdellan said snidely, and Kipsing shot her a look of betrayed hurt.

_McDonalds is a food outlet, _Arbat said, rescuing Kipsing. _Controllers request a 'Happy Meal with extra happy'. _

_Why is the food's emotional state a factor? _Farling queried.

_I do not fully understand it, _Arbat admitted. _But that is how they signal their intention to enter the pool. The actual pool entrance is concealed in a walk in refrigerator. _

_And you are certain of this? _I questioned. _The controller was not lying?_

Arbat pulled a face of delicate distaste. _Definitely not, _he said in a tone that ran shivers down my spine. Medrar moved to the main monitor.

_I should imagine we can find this 'McDonalds' on the human internet, _he said. His fingers danced, and suddenly a giant yellow M filled the viewing screen. _Is this it? _He sounded dubious.

_Yes it is. See, that's a list of the food they offer, _Lortif pointed at the screen. The arisths crowded around the screen and Tirdellan joined them. Kipsing stood beside her and tried to surreptitiously brush her fingers with his own. She removed her hand firmly, and I felt a sparkle of triumph.

Arbat sidled over to me. _Hak Bajeesh, I am afraid I have acted on my own initiative again, _he said, in private thought speak. I kicked a hoof in annoyance.

_Will you ever be directed?_ He chuckled gently.

_Not when I have such splendid ideas, Hak Bajeesh. _I gave him a light slap for his arrogance.

_And what have you thought up then, Arbat?_

To my surprise he called Tirdellan over. I eyed her, unimpressed. _So, a co-conspirator then? _She blushed, and I relented. It wasn't her fault for obeying her uncle. _What have you done Tirdellan? _

_I sent her to retrieve an Earth animal, _Arbat said. _Do you have it? _Tirdellan nodded and headed over to the main consol. Reaching under it she pulled out a small Ramonite box and opened it.

Inside was one of the foulest creatures I have ever seen. The very sight of it made me shiver. _What is that? _I asked, trying to keep the revulsion off my face. It looked like someone had shrunk a Bug fighter and breathed life into it. Tirdellan reached into the box and picked it up with a look of disgust. I admired her willpower. I doubted I could have touched it.

_This is a cockroach, _she said. Arbat grinned.

_And it's going to get us into the Yeerk pool, _he added.

We acquired the cockroach, passing it around and each taking their turn to touch the wretched thing. Then all of us except Farling and Lortif (who I elected to stay behind and secure the ship in case everything went horribly wrong) morphed to our human forms and walked into the town centre, to the McDonalds which housed the entrance to the Yeerk Pool. It was partly to prevent a disaster destroying all of us at once that I left the arisths on the ship, but also Medrar had been the only one of the three who had shown restraint around the food at the Sharing, and since McDonalds was a place of food I didn't fancy a repeat of Lortif and Farling's poor performances. As we approached I explained my newly formed plan to the others. Arbat liked it, but then he had come up with most of it. Medrar didn't voice an opinion. In the army he would never ever have been asked by his commander what he thought of a plan. Tirdellan was neutral. I think her concentration was more taken up in conspicuously ignoring Kipsing. The assassin did not like the plan in the least.

_It puts you too much at risk, Jahar, _he said grumpily. _I might not be fast enough to save you if something goes wrong. _

_It only works if it's me, _I said firmly. _Visser Three will recognise my human morph. Besides, you have the most important job of all, _I added, in private thought speak. He grumbled a bit more, but I could tell he was mollified.

When we reached McDonalds it was difficult to ignore the glorious food smells. The air was laden with them! And around us at the tables humans shovelled the delicious smelling food into their mouths.

_Control, _Arbat whispered to us. Kipsing shot him an annoyed look. Arbat pointed out a large white object behind the counters where the humans dispensed the food. _There, that's the refrigerator, _he said. _We morph in the toilets and reconvene there._

We walked into the human waste disposal facilities and piled into two of their strange little cubicles. It was rather cramped, with me, Tirdellan and Medrar sharing one whilst Kipsing and Arbat shared the other, and even more so when we demorphed.

In fact, there is not enough room in those cubicles for three Andalites, and we only realised that a fraction of a second before the door lock popped under the pressure.

BANG!

The door slammed open to reveal a human male! A human male confronted by three half Andalite, half human monsters. Unsurprisingly this startled him. But instead of shouting he quickly reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a human hand weapon.

"Freeze Andalites!"

Let me just remind you of the situation. The three of us were squeezed into a cubicle, all somewhere in the transition from human to Andalite. This human (who was now clearly another controller) had been standing at the white basins opposite the cubicles. His trousers were still open, and he was pointing a gun at us.

It was extremely surreal.

_Oh good, that sounds like a controller! _a rather happy voice said. The controller hesitated, unsure which one of us had spoken. It was a mistake. The neighbouring door, Alloran and Kipsing's door, banged open, and Kipsing tumbled out, fully Andalite, his tail flying.

FWAPP!

The controller stared in horror at what had a second before been a hand attached to his am. It was now just a hand, on the floor. His mouth opened in a scream, and Kipsing swung again, slicing his head off neatly.

_That would have been much more awkward if he had been a human, _he said cheerfully as I watched in shock as the body thudded on the floor. There was something terribly macabre about his lack of regret or even acknowledgement of the horror of what he'd done.

_He __**was**__ a human, _Tirdellan said, and her voice was unexpectedly angry. _He was a human too! Why did you kill him? _Kipsing looked surprised and hurt.

_Next time I'll leave you to your fate, _he said crossly, and turned away from her. Fully Andalite I stepped out of the stall and examined the bleeding body.

_Someone is going to find this. And since Yeerks are operating here, it's a high likelihood they'll guess what's happened._

_So we act quickly, _Arbat said coldly. He was already morphing the new morph, the cockroach. _We move before they find it. _I realised Tirdellan was shivering, and stepped towards her, but she shook me off.

_I'll be fine, _she said stonily, staring the morph. _Let's just do this._

Seconds later we were five cockroaches. Arbat and Kipsing seemed to have accepted the death as necessary, but like Tirdellan I was feeling shaken. It had been so sudden, and so very real. I don't know what Medrar thought of it all, because by the time I remembered him he had morphed to cockroach.

The cockroach brain was not difficult to contend with. It didn't like bright lights, and it seriously loved the smell of the blood, but aside from that it was pretty calm. It seemed to like being in McDonalds with all the smells. The primitive eyes were not good, but we managed to find our way out of the toilets and towards the refrigerator. And there we waited.

Using the antennae I could 'hear' voices. I heard humans ordering food. I heard the people serving the food shouting to each other. And then, after about twenty minutes of hanging around, I heard what we'd been waiting for. A man came in. He ordered the Happy meal with extra happy. He walked our way. I prepared my tiny legs. Now was the moment!

_Everyone ready? _I asked grimly. The big walk in refrigerator opened and we motored in, just behind the feet of the controller. The door swung shut behind us.

It was cold. Very cold.

_How long is this going to take? _Arbat asked, annoyed.

The controller waited and then suddenly the back of the refrigerator stretched open. We followed him through the opening.

BrrrrEEEEET! BrrrrEEEEET! "Unauthorized life-form detected." BrrrrEEEEET BrrrrEEEEET! "Unauthorized life-form detected."

The controller sighed audibly. "Probably some stupid insects," he muttered. The mechanical voice spoke again. "Shut your eyes tightly to protect against retinal damage from the Gleet BioFilter."

_The what? _Medrar screamed. _No! Yeerks can't have that!_

_They shouldn't! _Arbat agreed. _There's been a serious security leak somewhere. _

_Impossible! _Kipsing howled. _Unless there's a traitor in High Command security!_

Whilst the males got extremely upset Tirdellan and I just sat there on the floor going _What?_

Suddenly, there was a flash: a dazzling explosion of light. Something very horrible happened to my cockroach eyes and the world went dark.

_I can't see! I'm blind!! _Tirdellan cried.

_Aren't you special? _Kipsing said crossly.

_I appear to be blinded too, _Medrar agreed. _How interesting. It is only set to blind._

_What is_? I asked tetchily. I didn't like not being able to see. _What just happened?_

_It's a Gleet BioFilter_, Medrar explained. _A machine which destroys all life-forms whose DNA is not entered into the computer controls. _

_Stolen Andalite technology, naturally_, Arbat said. _Since we have been blinded, I don't know how you intend for us to find a place to demorph without being seen Jahar._

_To my left I think there's a rock wall with fissures, _Tirdellan said, before I could reply. _I can feel big spaces._

_We go to the spaces, _I said. It was incredibly risky, relying on blind luck to keep us safe, but without eyes we didn't stand a chance of finding a better place. As it was I was able to demorph enough to grow new eyes, and used them to direct the other to a deep crack in the rock wall. We crawled in, and it widened out into a little cave which allowed us to demorph fully one by one and start our new morphs.

When we were all finished the others turned to me, waiting for instructions. I fought to control my breathing.

"Everyone ready to visit the Yeerk pool?"


	14. Chapter 14

Heya! It's time for another past chapter (even though I know there's a cliffhanger in the last present one!). I thought it would be interesting to see how the start fo the war was, before the Andalites realised how long and terrible it would be - kind of like when everyone thought WW1 would be over by christmas. Also, if anyone thinks it's a bit incongruous to have them all happy about the war when Alloran and Jahar were definitely not happy at the end of chapter 12, that's because they've been at it a little while and so far nothing too bad has happened, so it's all exciting and lulling them into a false sense of safety.  
Anyway, I'll shut up now, except to say that I hope you enjoy this and reviews are, as always (:D) most welcome!

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Chapter 14

Jahar keyed in the access code for one of the Command Centre's main hangers. _Access granted, _her computer told her coolly. On her viewing screen the hanger split open, a great crack rupturing its roof. She waited until the crack gaped to its widest and then piloted The Jahar in smoothly. It was very strange, flying a ship named after herself, but Alloran had left it at home for her whilst he was away. A high ranking War Prince did not have time to make private flights. Slowly Jahar settled the ship down into a waiting cradle, and cursed as it wobbled a little, disturbing her passenger. He stumbled, and clutched the safety restraints she had strapped around him in terror. Jahar reached out with her tail to soothe him as she switched off the ship's engine, and then unbuckled him.

When they left the ship and entered the hanger it was a hive of activity. Since the war the number of ships built each year had multiplied beyond imagination, and now every one of the old Command Centres groaned with craft. They were in desperate need of rebuilding to cope with the new numbers of ships, but there was no time. The concentration of the Andalite command was taken up exclusively by building new ships, and manufacturing new weapons and above all searching the universe for the Yeerks. Outdated infrastructure was a secondary concern. Similarly, there were nowhere near enough transport pods for the number of Andalites whizzing around the Command Centre, and Jahar had to wait patiently in a queue for an empty one. When it arrived she directed it to take her and her companion to the main hanger, and it shot off, zipping past other holding hangers, loading bays, maintenance docks and cargo docks. There were a number of fighters in the maintenance docks, their sides burnt from the odd skirmishes with the Yeerks which had happened since the war began. The main body of escaped Yeerks had not been found yet, and so there had been relatively few casualties on either side.

So far.

The transport pod entered the main hanger, which was filled by a giant dome ship. It rose high above Jahar, its sleek sides gleaming, resting in a giant cradle slung under its belly. In the centre of it was the giant dome, containing the cultivated grassland which made space flight bearable for claustrophobic Andalites. Andalites scurried around its engines, tiny and insignificant compared to the power centres of the ship. Its name was printed in glittering letters under the main bridge.

_Lightwing._

Jahar's stomachs flipped. The _Lightwing_ was Alloran's ship, and its presence here meant that he was not far away now. She'd received the news that the _Lightwing_ would be returning to the home planet to have superior engines fitted only a short while ago, and had hardly been able to control her excitement. Alloran would be home! She hadn't seen him for months, and now he was perhaps minutes away.

The transport pod deposited her at the central office for the main hanger, which was situated high above the hanger, with huge windows to allow a good view of the _Lightwing_ and the Andalites clustering around her. A bored looking Andalite slouched, surrounded by computer interfaces. He only raised his stalk eyes to her, keeping his main eyes focussed on a screen showing radiation levels within the hanger.

_Can I help you?_

_Yes, _Jahar replied, fighting to keep her voice steady. _I'm here to see War Prince Alloran. _The Andalite nodded, and flicked a switch with his left hand.

_War Prince Alloran to the central office please._ His thought speak boomed, magnified, throughout the hanger. As Jahar watched, one of the tiny figures peeled off from the gaggle admiring the work on the new engines and crossed to a transport pod. He entered it, and it shot off, heading up to them...

The office Andalite regarded Jahar curiously. _Are you well? You are breathing very fast._

_I'm fine, _she snapped. The Andalite shrugged and indicated her companion.

_Those aren't allowed on site, you know. I'll let it go this one time but if it happens again I'll have to report you._

Jahar waved him away. _Yes, thank you. I understand._ She was barely listening, practically trembling with excitement. And then the office doors glided open.

Alloran looked bigger since when she'd last seen him. More muscled, and with more of a swagger to his step. He frowned as he entered, no doubt annoyed at being summoned away, but his face cleared as soon as he saw her.

_Jahar!_

_Alloran! _she cried. Neither of them ran to the other in front of the office Andalite, but she trembled with the desire to race into his arms. He nodded curtly at the office Andalite.

_Thank you Tarryan. I will be in my quarters aboard the Lightwing should I be required. _Tarryan gave a nod of acknowledgement and Alloran turned to go. _Come Jahar. We'll be able to talk on the ship. _Jahar hesitated, confused at his lack of reaction, and then she realised that he hadn't seen her companion.

_Alloran? _she called softly, and stepped aside. Alloran turned back to her, and she motioned downwards. His gaze travelled to the ground.

And froze.

Andalites are born with open eyes, and are able to walk within a few hours. They take time to learn to articulate words with their thought speak – to start they tend to send images and emotions before they are taught to discipline their communication. A new baby Andalite comes to roughly knee height on its mother at the most. It was hardly surprising Alloran had missed this one the first time, hiding behind Jahar's back legs. Now he stared in wonder as it walked forwards nervously, nudged by Jahar's tail.

_A male, _she said softly. _He's seven days old. _Alloran stepped forwards to greet it, and arched down his tail. The blade at the end of it was larger than the baby's head. Instinctively the baby lifted its tiny tail up to its father, the tail blade still a soft nub of undefined bone.

_Our baby, _Alloran breathed. And then he suddenly laughed. _Oh Jahar, if you were anyone else's wife but my own I would have to discipline you for bringing a child to a military facility. _She smiled and walked to his side, reaching down a hand to the child to lead him with them to the transport pod.

_Well it's a good thing I married the most powerful Andalite in this facility isn't it?_

Alloran took them to his private quarters on the _Lightwing_, leading them past other crew members in the corridors. Jahar deliberately slowed her pace to allow the baby Andalite to keep up, and he was the recipient of more than a few stares, although none of the crew would have dared comment. This was a new world for Jahar, a world she had glimpsed on the Yeerk planet. Here Alloran was powerful and respected. Other Andalites stepped out of his way, saluted him as they passed. As his mate she too shared in the power, and was greeted with deference. For a second she wondered if this was how the King and Queens of old had felt. The Andalites had abolished the institution of monarchy centuries ago, retaining only the honorific title of Prince for their commanders because the armies of warring monarchies had once been led by the sons of the Kings. Here on the _Lightwing_, in this war where the military was suddenly important again, Jahar felt herself to be Queen to her mate, the Prince leading the army.

And with them walked his heir, the next generation. Her son, who would surely too become a great commander, lifted up through his father's influence.

They were foolish, romantic musings, and she knew it, but power is intoxicating and Jahar could feel herself growing addicted to her powerful mate's prestige and influence. It led her to love him even more, if that were possible.

In his private quarters they were freer to express their emotions, and Alloran had barely entered before he reached out to her and held her in his arms.

_I was going to visit you tomorrow, _he said softly as he stroked her face. _A surprise. _He laughed. _Or so I thought. But you seem to have outpaced me._

_I couldn't wait a second, when I knew you were returning,_ she said honestly. He smiled and touched his fingertips to her forehead.

_And stormed in dragging a child with you. Most irregular. _His expression softened. _But I'm so very glad you did. _He stepped away from her and knelt down closer to their baby who was looking anxiously around the quarters. _I had no idea he would come so soon._

_He's early, _Jahar admitted, sending calming, reassuring thoughts to the baby. _But definitely yours, _she added anxiously.

Alloran shot her a look of surprise. _Did you really think I doubted that? _he asked. _Besides, I think he has my eyes. Or will when he grows into them. _The baby blinked its oversized eyes, and Alloran laughed. He reached out and offered his son a finger, and the baby grasped the tip with his whole hand. _Have you named him? _Alloran asked.

_I call him 'Farling'_, Jahar admitted. Her mate paused, mentally translating the name.

'_Little pet', _he said.

_It's just a baby name, _Jahar added. _For when he is so small. _Alloran shrugged.

_I like it. We can sort out his secondary titles later. For now he only needs a first name. _He gently stroked the baby's back and it rubbed its shoulders against his fingers in delight. _Farling suits him, doesn't it?_

_How long are you here? _Jahar asked abruptly. _I brought him because I didn't know if you would have another chance to see him. _Alloran stood up to face her.

_Actually this job will take several days, so I can come home tonight and be yours the next few days, love. _His eyes sparkled invitingly, and she was suddenly aware of how long they'd been apart, how very long it was, and a shiver of desire shook her.

_I was hoping you would say that. _He smiled and slid fingertips over her shoulders, his touch light but enough to turn her legs to water. _War suits you my love, _she whispered, running her eyes over his muscular body, in better shape than ever before.

_Yes, _he replied. _I was rather pleased to find that it does._

On the flight home Alloran piloted The Jahar, clearly deriving pleasure from being in charge of his ship again. Jahar wanted nothing more than to focus on him and him alone, but she denied her selfishness and played with Farling. It would be an unpleasant shock for the baby over the next few days when he would have to share his mother for the first time in his life. Fortunately he fell asleep very quickly when they returned to the scoop, exhausted by the day's adventure. Liberated from parental duties, Jahar was able to indulge in a night run with Alloran, galloping through the undulating grasses under the stars.

_How much I have missed open space, _Alloran said wistfully, raising his eyes to the heavens. _The dome is always crowded with young arisths sparring, and older warriors shouting at each other. To be quiet and alone is a gift, Jahar. _

She laughed wickedly. _I can leave you alone and return to the scoop if you desire solitude so much. _

He lowered his eyes back to her, running them openly over her recently-recovered sleek figure. _Oh, I wouldn't say it was solitude I desired so much, love. _The starlight reminded her crazily of the night he'd asked her to be his, and she knew that she loved him as madly now as she did then, as she always would. She felt giddy with romance and the knowledge of his power, and moonlight and love.

_How well you look, War Prince Alloran. And we thought war would destroy us. _

He moved in closer to her, catching her in his hands. His eyes gleamed in the light of the moon, his expression unseen but not unimaginable. _Do you know, Jahar, I think this war might be the best thing that's ever happened to us. _

Alloran stayed for three days, and for those days Jahar was simply happy. There were no complications, no layers to her mood, no niggling worries or doubts. She surrendered to the joy of being married to a loving, amusing husband and having a tiny baby who demanded constant attention and offered delight. Farling divided his day between cantering with the adults around the nearest meadow (and occasionally tripping over his oversized hooves), playing with the learning programmes Jahar's mother had given them to help stimulate his thought speech, and sleeping, worn out from exertion. Alloran was with her almost constantly, snatching minutes when she was feeding Farling to use their computer to keep in touch with the engineers working on the _Lightwing._ The only time he left her properly was to visit Arbat, and Jahar declined his invitation to accompany him. She had sent Arbat notification of Farling's birth, and had received curt congratulations. A few days later a gift of a toy fighter had arrived for Farling. Other than that Arbat had expressed no interest in his nephew or his sister in law, and Jahar was reluctant to impose herself on him. It felt too much like rubbing his nose in her and Alloran's happiness to parade Farling in front of him.

Kalladin came to visit, and a stream of Jahar's other friends, attracted by the new baby, and Farling was showered with presents, whilst his mother was similarly deluged in compliments on his size, his eyes, his shape and his tail. Jahar felt sorry for Alloran as he stood there placidly, smiling throughout the female respects. Jahar's friends were normally wary of addressing her influential warrior husband directly, but now that he had acquired the tamer, domestic status of 'Daddy' he was victim to some of their more inane compliments.

The lack of Aldrea's presence was unmissed by the other females, who had never really known the younger Andalite, but Jahar remembered her from their time together on the Yeerk planet, and the distance between them was the one taint of sadness in her joy.

The only other friend who did not appear was Vitana. She had visited before, when Farling was only days old, and Jahar understood her friend's reluctance to come again whilst Alloran was at home. She had never learnt the full details of how Alloran had disengaged himself from Vitana, but she trusted it had been done honourably, because Vitana clearly bore her no grudge. However, she doubted her friend would ever be comfortable with meeting Alloran as Jahar's husband.

And then, on the morning of the fourth day, Alloran woke her, his eyes glittering, practically shaking with excitement.

_We've found them! _he cried, shaking her abruptly. _We've found the scum!_

_What? _Jahar asked, still sleepy. He was practically dancing.

_The Yeerks who escaped have been reported! They have descended on a new planet, the Hork Bajir planet, and I have been assigned to lead the defence force against them! _

Jahar forced a smile, ignoring the congealing of her hearts. _How wonderful! I suppose you will be going soon?_

_Today! I have already summoned a transport ship to pick me up and fly me to the hanger, _he said gleefully, but stopped dancing suddenly and reached for her hand anxiously. _Love, you are not sad? It will not be forever. I will return soon, I promise._

Again Jahar smiled, but this time truly. _Of course. Forgive me, Alloran. _She looked up into his eyes and stroked his temples gently. _I have become selfish, but I know that I can not keep you to myself when the fleet needs you as well. _

_When we have destroyed the Yeerks I will return to you, _he promised. His expression hardened. _And we __**will**__ destroy them. I have not forgotten the promise you made me give on the Yeerk planet, Jahar. I __**will **__defeat these slugs, for your sake, and for Farling. And after that, who knows? Perhaps I shall retire, or perhaps I shall stay. Imagine, Jahar... I could be a Captain or even on the People's council!_

_Stay alive, _she whispered, suddenly sharing his mad thrill for the promises of the future. Prestige, and power, and happiness glittered in front of them. _Come back to me, my glorious husband. _He kissed her tenderly.

_I will, beautiful Jahar. Even if I have to destroy the entire Hork Bajir planet, I will return to you victorious._


	15. Chapter 15

Heya! A present chapter now, dedicated to those lovely ones among you who review :) Please let me know what you think of this one! :D

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Chapter 15

I had two legs, two arms, two moderately good eyes and only one heart. I was human.

I was in human morph in the Yeerk pool complex. It was terrifying. We descended the roughly cut staircase slowly, Arbat and Kipsing leading, and then me, following them, and then Tirdellan my daughter and Medrar. Apart from me and Medrar the others were accomplished enough morphers to be fully clothed (by human standards), so did not look out of place. Medrar and I shivered in our skimpy clothing.

It wasn't just the cold which made us shudder. As we descended we were welcomed by a chorus of wails, howls and shrieks. Voices screamed in desperation: human, Hork Bajir, even taxxon shrills of distress. The air was heavy with horror, the light unnatural and oppressive. We had been hidden from the main pool by a bend in the stairs descending to it, but as we rounded the corner the full horror of the scene hit us.

A pool. A deep wound in the dirt, filled with sludgy grey liquid. And alive with Yeerks. The surface roiled with their swimming bodies. The cavern around it was huge but makeshift, the walls propped with metal struts. There were two piers jutting out over the pool, and two lines of hosts. Exit and entry points for Yeerks. After they were released some of the hosts screamed and fought. The humans who resisted were thrown into large holding cages which took ten to fifteen of them. The struggling Hork Bajir were chained up individually. They were far more capable of doing damage to each other and themselves if allowed loose.

_Calm, _I whispered to Tirdellan and Medrar. _Calm._

_It is horrific, _Kipsing said softly. I privately agreed. How could a sentient species inflict this on others?

And the worst horror of all was yet to come. Once the scene was laid out before us the sounds could be distinguished, and I heard it then: the mocking laughs of the willing hosts. I'd read of them, these creatures who chose to give up their freedom, but I hadn't wanted to believe it was true. Now I could see them, taxxons, a few Hork Bajir and humans, too many humans, lounging in a seating area and sniggering at the distress of others.

There would never be an Andalite in that area. I knew that for certain.

We reached the bottom of the staircase, and Arbat struck out for a set of warehouses ringing the edge of the cavern.

_We need weapons, _he said quietly. I nodded.

_They're staring at us, _Medrar hissed, fear tingeing his thought speak.

_Ignore them, _I directed. _Look like you're meant to be here. _We were aided by the fact that it was a very warm day outside. Humans wear less clothing in heat anyway, so we looked less strange than we might have. In fact, I passed some 'fully clothed' controllers wearing even less than me. We strutted to the warehouse unmolested, and there were no guards at the door. It seemed too easy. Blood thudded in my ears. A quick glance to check no one was watching too closely, and we ducked in. The warehouse was lit by a fluorescent bulb swinging overhead. Arbat snorted.

_How technical. _He walked over to some boxes and flipped off the lid of the top one. _What are these? _he asked in confusion.

_Ready-assemble tables, _Kipsing read off the box. I wandered over to another pile and read the label. Ready-assemble chairs. _Cleaning supplies, _Medrar said, peering into another box. _Mops and brushes._

_Let's try the next warehouse, _I suggested. We slunk out and approached the next warehouse. This one was guarded, by two Hork Bajir and a human male.

_Right, _Arbat hissed. _This is where I test our Yeerk prisoner's seniority. _

See, Arbat hadn't morphed his original human morph. He's morphed Jason Clements, the human controller we had captured and destroyed. We didn't know how influential this controller had been, but at least he would be a recognised face. Arbat braced himself, took a deep breath and walked up to the warehouse entrance. One of the Hork Bajir turned to regard him.

"I've been ordered by the Visser to check the dracon beam supplies," Arbat said boldly. The Hork Bajir stared for a second, and then laughed, a grating, alien sound. The human controller stopped forward.

"You're not going to find any dracon beams in the oatmeal holding shed, Enliss 764," he explained. He pointed to another warehouse, several doors down the row of them. "Try weapons storage, you fool." Arbat accepted the insult without a hint of anger.

"Just checking you're awake," he said calmly, and turned to us. "Come, we mustn't keep the Visser waiting." The human laughed appreciatively as we followed Arbat towards the indicated storage area.

"Yes, don't keep the Visser waiting," he called. "Particularly as he's leaving for his Blade ship in half an hour."

It was all I could do not to grab Arbat's arm.

_Did you hear? _I hissed.

_Hak Bajeesh, I have not become miraculously deaf in the last few minutes,_ Arbat said, his voice sounding perfectly composed. I could see that he was practically trembling with excitement.

_Are we going to go to the Visser now? _Tirdellan asked fearfully.

_We haven't got much time, so we can't waste a second, _Kipsing butted in before I could answer.

_We have half an hour, _I said coldly. _That is plenty of time. Do not get excited._ Kipsing snorted, but I was keeping an eye on Medrar and Tirdellan. The aristh was silent, but he had paled visibly, whilst my daughter's hands shook. I could only hope they could control themselves sufficiently to deceive the Visser.

Again the warehouse was guarded, but Arbat's morph was clearly a controller with rank, and the guards waved us in. This time the boxes yielded dracon beams when pried open. Arbat took one, and Kipsing did so too, balancing the weight of the weapon in his hand and complaining that it was too unlike a shredder. Tirdellan reached for one, but Kipsing knocked her arm away. _Not for children, _he said, with a hint of nastiness to his tone. Tirdellan flushed, and withdrew her hand.

_No one on this voyage is a child, _I said crossly, handing a dracon beam to my daughter. _Except for those that act as juveniles. _Kipsing scowled, but then shrugged.

_Forgive me, Jahar. _

_Of course, _I said, and then added privately: _Keep your wits. _The last thing I needed was Kipsing riled or flustered. He played a crucial role in our plan.

We found chains and handcuffs in the warehouse too, in a metal box marked 'restraints'. Medrar and I stood there patiently whilst we were tied up. With his lack of human clothing the Visser would not be fooled into believing Medrar was a normal controller, but he fitted perfectly the image of a captured Andalite. Once Medrar was chained Kipsing gave a yank and the aristh stumbled forwards with a yelp, dragged by the restraints. The assassin laughed.

_Looks pretty real, doesn't it?_

_Perfectly, _Arbat said, pleased. I didn't like the cold metal biting into my wrists. It made me want to shudder and shake it off.

_Let's find the Visser now, _I directed.

_We can't leave through the front, _Medrar said. _Those guards saw Jahar and me enter unchained. _I felt like a fool. He was right, of course. There was no way we could be dragged past the same guards having walked willingly in. Moreover, the warehouse did not seem to have a backdoor.

Kipsing raised his dracon beam and fired. TSEWW!

_There's the way out, _he said smugly, pointing at the smoking hole in the back wall of the warehouse. Arbat sighed, and rolled his eyes, but clambered through. Tirdellan grasped the end of my chain whilst Kipsing took control of Medrar, and we left the warehouse through our makeshift exit. Fortunately no one seemed to have a reason to be behind the warehouses, and our emergence escaped notice.

Now, with clanking prisoners in evidence, we got more than stares. Whispers followed our progress, skirting the Northern end of the pool.

"Taking some rebel scum to the Visser," Arbat explained to the staring Yeerks.

"Is he still here?" Kipsing added. A helpful controller said that he was, and even gave us directions to where the Visser was reviewing improvements to the pool drainage system. Medrar and I were hauled roughly and realistically away. I even fell to my knees, and Tirdellan begged my forgiveness as she dragged me across the ground, grazing them.

_Keep going as I directed, _I said harshly, climbing to my feet. But then I softened. _I'm all right, _I said quietly to her.

_Mother, I am frightened, _she whispered. _How can this work?_

I laughed softly. _Find strength in the knowledge that you can outwit every creature in this facility, Tirdellan. You are an Andalite. You are mentally and physically superior to any Yeerk. If they knew what you were they would cower from you. _

She managed a weak smile, and reeled off, as if quoting: '_They're more afraid of you than you are of them'._

I didn't have time to ponder her words, because we had turned away from the main pool area and were entering an area that looked newer, the rock around us rawer as if it had been recently burrowed into. In front of us was a gaggle of five or so human controllers and a couple of Hork Bajir. In between them I glimpsed flashes of blue fur, and my single human heart hammered.

_You are sure this will be finished by next Tuesday? _a terribly familiar voice boomed. Visser Three clearly did not mind broadcasting his words to the wide vicinity. As we neared them one of the humans said something and waved a chart. I glimpsed Visser Three bending his neck to study it. _Good,_ he said, and then suddenly the crowd flowed aside and I saw him flick his tail in annoyance. _What is happening? _The controllers were parting to let us through, moving aside in front of Arbat as he waded between them towards the Visser. The Visser turned to face us, and for a second only saw Arbat. _There had better be a good reason for this disturbance Enliss 764_, he roared. Arbat bowed.

"Visser, I believe I have captured two Andalites," he said deferentially. Visser Three eyed him like a juicy Gortrin tuber.

_Well either you have or you haven't. Which is it?_ Several of the surrounding controllers edged away, and I sensed that they did not expect the Visser's restraint to last. His deadly tail twitched. Arbat gestured back to Kipsing and Tirdellan, and they stepped forward, dragging Medrar and me into the Visser's view. His cold eyes flicked quickly over Medrar, clearly unimpressed, but widened when he saw me. I glared at him with real hatred, and Visser Three laughed; a ghastly corruption of my husband when amused.

_Hello my dear Jahar, _he said, sweeping me a theatrical bow._ What a mess you seem to have got yourself into. _I did not truly trust myself to reply, but it was essential to the plan that I did.

_I need to speak to you, _I urged. _Please let me. _The Visser ignored me and turned to Arbat.

_Excellent work, Enliss 764. I sense a promotion coming your way. _Arbat beamed.

"Thank you, Visser," he murmured. I was loathe to do it, but I pushed myself forward.

_I need to speak to you in private, Yeerk. _Unexpectedly, Arbat suddenly spun and delivered a kick which winded me, knocking me to my knees. For one second the malice behind it felt horribly real.

"You do not address the Visser, scum," Arbat said coldly.

_Haha, _Visser Three chuckled. _How shocked she looks!_ _Does that hurt Danceling? _'Danceling'_. _An Andalite term of endearment. One my husband occasionally used for me. Gasping I climbed back to my feet. Medrar reached to help me, and Kipsing whipped the chain he was holding threateningly. It snapped against Medrar's cheek, leaving an angry red welt, and he moaned in pain. I felt dizzy, as if everything was spinning out of my control. The kick hadn't been planned. Once again Arbat was demonstrating independent thought, and it encouraged Kipsing to copy him. I could only hope it would engineer us the success Arbathad previously enjoyed on this mission. Visser Three was clearly taken in by the spectacle, but we couldn't act unless he was alone with us. That was what we needed, that was my job. I felt sick to my heart, but once again addressed the foul abomination standing in front of me.

_Listen, Yeerk. I have information that will interest you. Allow me a minute with my husband and I will tell you everything. _

Visser Three smiled lazily. _If I infested you I could learn everything you know within five minutes, Andalite, _he pointed out.

_That won't be fast enough to save you, _I said quietly. The Visser stiffened, and I knew I had his attention.

_And why would you be interested in saving me? _he asked suspiciously.

_I will not see any harm come to Alloran, _I said truthfully. The Visser paused, and I knew he was tearing mercilessly through my husband's mind, searching memories of us together in happier times, so that he could judge me. He must have found in my favour, because he suddenly turned to the controllers clustered around him and waved his hands in dismissal.

_Leave us._ They nodded and scrambled away, clearly glad to be released from hovering around him, too afraid to leave his presence without permission. Visser Three turned to me. _Well? _he said.

_Not out here, _I breathed. As I said the words it sounded stupidly obvious to me, that we were trying to seclude him. However, whilst he looked confused and understandably suspicious, there was no light of realisation in my husband's eyes. I suppose Alloran had never seen me try to be sneaky before, and so the Visser did not think me truly capable of it. Arbat gestured at a nearby temporary office, a cut out and assemble building with a door and no windows. The Visser hesitated for a second, and then led the way in. We followed, my chains clanking. I suppose he must have trusted the Yeerk Enliss 764, and that worked to our advantage. A row of light bulbs hanging from the ceiling illuminated a desk, a chair, a water cooler. _Medrar? _I hissed.

_Ready, _he whispered. The Visser lounged in a deceptively casual way against the desk, but I knew my husband's achingly familiar body was tense, ready for the slightest movement.

_Now what is so important for you to tell me? _he asked grumpily. I took a step forward, and as I did I heard a slurping sound behind me.

Medrar was demorphing!

Instantly the Visser's attention was torn. He only had four eyes! His two facial ones spun to Medrar as a pair of front legs struggled to escape the chains wound tightly around the young Andalite.

_Stop morphing now! Enliss, shoot him! _Arbat raised his dracon beam, and one of the Visser's stalk eyes was one him. The other was on me, moving towards him, and Visser Three moved quickly, with an angry shout, ready to give me a punishing swipe with his tail.

He didn't have enough eyes to watch Kipsing.

Quick as a flash the young assassin whipped his hidden dracon beam out and fired on the Visser.

TSEWWW!

Perfect aim!

Visser Three dropped like a stone, stunned and out for the count.


	16. Chapter 16

Hello again! It's been a little while coming, I know, but here is chapter 16. I made the mistake of rushing the last chapter, so I took my time over this one. I'm sure you'll see why. It was quite difficult to write this, so I'd really appreciate feedback for this chapter in particular. Thanks :)

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Chapter 16

Jahar looked up at the night sky and sighed. The second and third moons were covered by deep purple clouds, and the lack of moonlight unsettled her. She worried that Farling trotting behind her would trip in the long grass, and constantly kept an eye on him. But there was something else.

_Two and three, trouble to be, _she murmured to herself.

_What did you say, mother? _Farling asked curiously. Jahar laughed.

_An old Andalite poem about the heavens. I can't remember many of the lines, but there were some about which moons were covered by the clouds. One and two, pleasure for you. Two and three, trouble to be. _Farling looked up at the sky inquisitively, the stars glinting in his still-overlarge eyes.

_Will something bad happen?_ he asked. His mother snorted and gave him a playful nudge with her tail.

_Only if you don't keep those eyes open wide in the dimmer light. _

They finished the circuit of the fields she had chosen for them that evening, and trotted back to the scoop. Farling was always slower on the journey home after night runs, worn out by the exertion. She used the final feed to help him sleep. Now the runs were also proving almost too much for her, and she stopped in front of the scoop and panted, holding her aching sides.

_Are you tired? _Farling asked sleepily. He was entering the sleeping area, and as she watched he flicked the viewing screen, causing the roof of the scoop to turn transparent, allowing him to see the stars above and the dim light of the covered moons.

_Perhaps we will not go so far tomorrow, _Jahar replied. She had been carrying the new child within her for a long time now, and the extra weight left her feeling slow and heavy. So far Farling had not commented on his mother's visibly increasing size, but she wondered how long it would be before the awkward questions came rolling in. Huffing slightly, she entered the sleeping area and half closed the main aperture of the scoop. Farling shuffled up to her once she had settled, resting his head on her side. He had been used to sleeping standing underneath her, his tail touched to her belly for reassurance, but now was too tall to do so without bending his neck. Still, he compensated by getting as close to her as he could. Jahar waited until she heard his breathing grow regular and slow, and sent him vague feelings of happiness, to provide pleasant dreams. Then she closed her tired eyes and allowed sleep to claim her too.

The next morning was dim and misty, the chill fog obscuring the far ends of Jahar's closest fields, so that she did not see the small ship approaching until her computer informed her that it was requesting permission to land. Surprised, she saw that it was Vitana's family ship, _The Kafit Queen_, and willingly gave her permission to land. Leaving Farling playing in the scoop she trotted out to meet her surprise visitor.

Vitana was not alone. Kalladin descended from the ship behind her, and for some reason Jahar's hearts clenched to see them both. They were too grim, to quiet. Usually she would have run to greet them, but their aura of sobriety caused her to walk forward slowly and greet them far more formally than usual. They both bowed their upper bodies in reply, and the properness of the answer sent cold chills down Jahar's back. The mist was condensing damply on her fur, tiny droplets slicking it down, and she shivered.

_What brings you to my lands? _Jahar cursed inwardly at her continued formality. _I mean, I wasn't expecting a visit today_, she added, trying clumsily to salvage the cold tone. _I thought I was bringing Farling to see you tomorrow, Kalladin. _Kalladin stepped forward, as if the direct address was an invitation to speak.

_Do you not know, Jahar? _she asked seriously. Jahar frowned, and shifted uncomfortably.

_Know what, Kalladin? _Again she shuddered, unsure how much she was affected by a growing premonition of horror or by the cold dew forming on her body. _Shall we go to the scoop? It is too cold to play 'riddle in the fields'._

Vitana laughed, bitterly. _Oh Jahar, if only we could be playing 'riddle in the fields' as we used too. _Jahar was now thoroughly alarmed, and she turned anxiously between the two of them, both as impassive as the depths of Lake Stilena.

_What is happening? Is it Alloran? Is he hurt? _It was not improbable that they would know about something happening to Alloran before she did, as he never mentioned the horrors of war in his communication with her, speaking only of his longing to return. And the army was notoriously slow at informing the wives of soldiers of their demise, as official confirmation in the courts was required before soldiers could be pronounced 'deceased'. Kalladin had a brother in the fleet, serving on the Hork Bajir planet, and Vitana's father was also involved in the Andalite military. If something awful had happened they would know.

_Better that he was hurt or even dead, _Vitana suddenly snapped, and Jahar recoiled at the vicious tone. _Then at least he wouldn't have hurt you too. _The delicate Andalite was trembling, Jahar could see now. Was it rage? Or, looking in her eyes, was it at some unspeakable horror? Her fiery gaze terrified Jahar, and she turned to her other friend.

_Kalladin what has happened? Tell me, _she begged, her knees going weak. She felt on the point of collapse, her head light and strangely free.

Kalladin's face was still a mask, and when she spoke it was as if every word was drawn from her by force. _War Prince Alloran appeared before a military disciplinary court five days ago, _she stated emotionlessly. _The findings of the court were that he had acted illegally in the campaigns on the Hork Bajir home world. He is officially disgraced. _

_NO! _Jahar's knees really did give out, as if the vision of her bright future had been supporting her like a pillar and its sudden withdrawal left her unbalanced.

_Jahar! _Vitana cried, racing to her side. Jahar reached up and caught her hand, her head spinning with incomprehension.

_A mistake, _she begged. _Tell me it was an accident. A mistake. _Vitana's face offered her no hope. Instead the terrible blazing anger still glittered in her eyes as she bent down to help Jahar.

_No mistake, _she said coldly. _He's ruined himself and you as well. _Jahar twisted her head away, unable to meet the horrific clarity and rage in Vitana's gaze, and instead turned pleadingly to Kalladin, who had not moved.

_Kalladin..._ It was as if the mask shattered. Hearing her name Kalladin shook herself, and suddenly she was at Jahar's side, an equally terrible look on her face, but for her it was pity, such deep pity, that Jahar thought she would die.

_There's no mistake, Jahar. He was judged fairly and is lucky to be merely disgraced._

Jahar moaned incoherently. Andalites are taught to control their emotions from a very early age, but she was too shocked to maintain the mental walls. Kalladin and Vitana both rocked as her misery spread to them, pouring into their bodies like cold oil.

_He is mad, _Vitana said bitterly. _It was a bad day for you, my Jahar, that he switched his attentions from me. _Her face softened at last. _I am so sorry that you, of all Andalites, have to bear this._

_No! _Jahar pushed her away, struggling to her feet. _No! Marrying Alloran was the best thing I ever did! I was lost without him._

_You are lost now, _Vitana said matter of factly, and Kalladin shot her a furious look.

_Control your bile, Vitana._

_Bile? _Jahar repeated, falteringly. Kalladin reached out an arm to steady her.

_Vitana does not like Alloran, _she said quietly. _She hid it, for your sake. _

_No! _Jahar shouted again, her world spinning out of control. _He left you, I know, but he did not deceive you. He did well for you!_

_So well my family's lands now spread an extra twenty acres, _Vitana spat bitterly. _Your husband did well indeed for me, Jahar, or as well as a male so anxious to leave you he will pay you can do. _

Anger rose in Jahar, and she found herself instinctively coming to Alloran's defence. _That's a lot more than you'd have got from many other males! _she shouted. Kalladin's hand squeezed her shoulder, and she calmed herself with an effort. _I am sorry, _she said, more softly. _It was always to be an awkward situation, that Alloran left you for me. I can only be grateful that I did not earn your hatred too._

Vitana took a step back, as if shocked, and stretched out a hand to Jahar's other shoulder. _Hate you? s_he whispered. _Jahar, who could? How could I hate my friend? I wanted to, but I know you are without guile or deceit. I knew that if you loved him you could not help yourself. I was angry. _She broke off and laughed bitterly. _Oh, was I angry! What a fool you made of me, bringing him to my fields and then snatching him away. _She laughed again, but more gently. _But anyone could see he was perfect for you. _And now her face hardened. _And how perfectly he has ruined you, my Jahar. I am so sorry. _She stepped forwards, and Jahar shrank away, unsure if she was hated or loved. Vitana stopped instantly, understanding, and shifted awkwardly. _I am your friend, _she said softly. _But I am not your husband's friend, and I can not help but hate him even more for what he has done, now that he has hurt both of us. _

Jahar turned back to Kalladin, leaning into her for the reassurance that she at least had no personal vendetta with Alloran and could give her an honest answer. _What happened? _she asked, hardly daring to heard the answer. _Did he... did my husband lose his mind? What could he possibly have done? _In her mind flashed one word, over and over again.

Treachery. Treachery!

But no, it couldn't have been! They wouldn't have disgraced him for that; they'd have executed him for it. What could he have done that was not terrible enough for him to be condemned to death, but for his future to be ruined? And hers too as his wife. What shame was there terrible enough? Incompetence? Surely that only entailed demotion. Cowardice perhaps?

_The Hork Bajir planet has been lost, _Kalladin said gently. Jahar felt numb. She knew how great the shame would be for Alloran, as the commanding officer, to have lost the Hork Bajir species. But disgrace? _In a last ditch attempt to prevent the spread of the Yeerk race Alloran tried to wipe out the Hork Bajir, their soldiers._

Jahar stared at her, appalled beyond measure. _The Hork Bajir are sentient, _she whispered. Kalladin's gaze did not waver.

_Alloran manufactured a virus that targeted Hork Bajir. It was released._

_On his orders? _Jahar asked, searching desperately for an escape clause. For the first time Kalladin frowned.

_That was his defence at the trial, _she said slowly. _He claimed that he'd ordered its manufacture but never its release._

Sickness roiled through Jahar. What did it matter that he hadn't ordered its use? Her husband, her young, innocent husband, had condoned the creation of a tool for genocide. That action alone spoke of a terrible ruthlessness, an evil she had not known lurked in the creature who used to hold her under the stars and made her laugh and sigh.

_Oh Alloran, you must have been mad, _she murmured. Vitana snorted, jerking Jahar back to the here and now.

_Oh no, they tried that at the trial too. 'Temporary insanity'. They had a physician examine him. He was concluded to be as sane as you or I._

Jahar nearly laughed at that; at that moment she had never felt further from sanity. Still, her mind grappled for an answer, a reason. It must have been stress, the horror of losing the planet, the fear of disgrace, the burning desire for success. Because if the answer was not that Alloran had acted out of madness then it was that he had condemned an entire race to death with a clear head. He was a murderer a million times over.

_Did it work? _Jahar asked faintly. _Were the Yeerks stopped?_

_We don't know yet, _Kalladin said simply. _My brother said that it is the belief of High Command that the enslaved Hork Bajir numbers were depleted but that the race was not rendered extinct._

It was the final horror. At least if the Yeerks were checked than something would have been achieved, but the knowledge that it had been in vain, that Alloran had thrown away their lives in a futile gesture hit Jahar like a physical blow. And High Command had condemned her husband for trying to please him. Genocide was terrible, but they would benefit greatly, no doubt, from the depletion of the Yeerk troops. And whilst they benefited they would sneer at her husband forever more.

The madness of War prince Alloran.

Something terrible was happening to Jahar, and it took her a few moments to realise that the sliding, sick feeling in her belly was not just horror.

_Vitana! Kalladin! _she screamed. He knees suddenly gave way again, as a spasm of real pain racked her, agony undulating through her lower body. Her friends bent over her, calling her name frantically, rubbing her face, but her vision was blurring. From far away she heard another voice calling: _Mother! _

_Not Farling! _Jahar managed to say. _Get him away. Don't let him see._

See what? What further terror was happening to her, so that her body no longer felt her own? She seemed to be drifting away, detached, floating free, supported by waves of pain, pain so powerful it lifted her up and she felt she could touch it as a separate entity.

_Farling's in the scoop! _Vitana shouted. She clutched Jahar's arms. _Jahar, he's not here. What's happening?_

She knew then what was happening. She knew, because in the final throes of agony her brain was just able to distinguish the voice screaming out to her. It was not screaming 'mother'. It was merely a wordless cry of suffering, directed to her and her alone, hitting directly in her hearts, an unintelligible scream of distress.

After all, her dying baby had not had time to learn words.


	17. Chapter 17

Hello hello again! bah, I apologise for such a long gap. Hopefully the next one won't take so long, but I've been getting carried away with revision and am near collapse from tiredness so there is the (poor) excuse. Anyway, this chapter is dedicated the very wonderful AniJen21 who gave me a kick and made me write this and have a far more pleasant evening than revision could ever have provided. Thank you :) I hope you like it.

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Chapter 17

My single heart was hammering out of control. Visser Three was down! Instantly Kipsing unchained Medrar. Medrar was now fully demorphed back to his Andalite self, and without hesitation he stepped forward and placed a hand against the soft blue and tan fur on my unconscious husband's chest. Under his touch I could see it rising up and down gently as he acquired the Visser. Only it wasn't the Visser's DNA he was absorbing.

It was Alloran's.

My mate.

I had chosen Medrar for this job because his quiet seriousness had led me to trust him more than the other Arisths. Arbat, Kipsing and Tirdellan still needed to play their parts as my captors, and I still had the role of an Andalite prisoner. We would be exactly as we had been when we walked into the office, except for one difference.

Visser Three and Medrar were going to switch roles.

"Hurry," I said urgently. "Give him the _unschweet_." An _unschweet_ is an Andalite ritual whereby an Andalite warrior's fur is cut back by another Andalite's tail. It is used in Andalite society to signify shame – once the fur has grown back then the shame is erased. The _unschweet _does not alter an Andalite beyond recognition, at least to another Andalite. We could only hope that to Yeerks one Andalite looked much like another, and a rudimentary furcut would be enough to deceive them.

Arbat kept a close eye on the doorway whilst Kipsing peered out of the window.

"Hurry," he hissed, repeating me. "They're beginning to congregate outside." I didn't dare imagine the crowds of curious Yeerks forming, eager to see the captured Andalites. As I watched Medrar bent down, and with great care delivered the _unschweet_. His tail zipped, faster than the eye could follow, over Visser Three's chest and sides, exposing the darker fur underneath.

"Alter his face," Arbat said coldly. I stared in horror at him.

"What?" Arbat shrugged, perfectly calm.

"The Yeerks will know their Visser's face. Cut it." It was horrible, hearing him speak so easily about mutilating his own brother, but to Arbat it was not Alloran in front of us. It was a Yeerk Visser, dangerous and hostile. I suppose that's why he was an Apex level adviser. He was able to detach himself from emotions and perform the task at hand, competently and coldly. Deep down it chilled me to think that I had once nearly become his mate. Medrar glanced at me for confirmation, and I felt Tirdellan stiffen beside me in anticipation. Feeling disgusted with myself, I motioned for Medrar to continue, and his tail snapped, slashing a light cut across Alloran's left cheek. Another movement, incredibly fast, and Alloran was missing a chunk under his right eye. He certainly looked different. I could only hope that this horror would not be in vain.

And then Medrar started the morph. I had never before seen one Andalite morph into another, and watched, fascinated. It was a very subtle transformation, as Medrar bulked up and broadened out. It was hard to put your finger on the changes until you saw them, but now his shoulders had broadened, and his tail stretched and his hooves expanded, and suddenly he was no longer an aristh but...

My husband.

Looking very pleased with himself.

My knees wobbled as **my Alloran **beamed that smug, contented smile which he always wore after he'd coaxed a particularly satisfied moan from me.

"Wipe that self-satisfied smirk off your face and try looking more like a Yeerk Visser," Kipsing snapped, unnecessarily nastily. I sighed as Medrar deflated. The last thing he needed was to look cowed.

"Medrar, you are the arrogant subjugator of Earth," I said, more gentle than the impatient assassin. "Please make us believe it." Under Arbat's instructions the aristh squared his shoulders and slid his weight to his hindquarters. Arbat stepped up to him and used his human hands to manipulate Medrar into the correct pose, snapping his chin up with a flick of the fingers and lifting his tail.

_I am ready, Jahar, _Medrar said, flexing his extended tail. I wasn't, but there was no time like the present. I reached out for Tirdellan's hand and gave it a squeeze. She was visibly shaking.

_Bravery, love. _Then I turned back to Medrar. _Do it now._

_Guards!!_ Medrar bawled. I fought the urge to raise my hand to my head, reeling from his thought speak shout. There was a scrabbling sound and the door to the office burst open. Two Hork Bajir fought to be the first to enter, and then one succeeded, roughly elbowing the other aside, and raced to Medrar. He halted, confused, when he saw the real Visser Three on the floor, and I thought for a second the deception would fail, but then he turned to Medrar again.

"Hakk Visser called?"

_Yes, how well of you to notice, _Medrar sneered, a perfect Yeerk Visser. He gestured imperiously at me and the real Visser Three. _I will interrogate the Andalites in the comfort of my own Blade ship._ _Get these scum loaded onto a Bug fighter immediately. Enliss will pilot it and I will go too to prevent them escaping. _

The guard snapped off a salute. "Yes Visser."

_Now! _Medrar roared. The guard danced awkwardly for a second, and then turned and grabbed the end of my chains, elbowing Kipsing and Tirdellan aside. He gave a yank which pulled me to my knees and dragged me out of the office. I slid painfully behind him, unable to regain my feet.

_Mother! _Tirdellan whispered.

_Follow at a distance and make sure you all board the fighter, _I ordered. I fought the urge to add a whimper of pain. My guard stopped to pass Medrar's commands onto the other Hork Bajir hanging around outside the office, and some ambled in to take care of the other 'bandit', Visser Three. From inside the office Medrar's thought speak boomed.

_Bind this one carefully fools! He has already tried to escape. _I used the brief respite to climb back to my feet, but was nearly whisked off them again as we set off briskly towards the Bug fighters assembled in a side cavern, hollowed out from the rock like the rest of the pool. Medrar sauntered behind, flanked by two genuine human controllers, with Arbat, Kipsing and Tirdellan sticking close to him. Behind them I saw four Hork Bajir dragging Visser Three on his side. They had wrapped Medrar's chains around him, and tucked his tail in so that it was trussed up very tightly. That made me smile grimly. Even an unconscious Andalite was enough to frighten a Yeerk.

_Make sure that one is chained securely. _Medrar ordered again, motioning back at Visser Three. _I will not be pleased if he escapes. _A collective shudder ran through the Hork Bajir, and for a strange second I pitied them, enslaved to their violent Visser's will. Their own bodies were formidable, but compared to an Andalite they were nothing. At his whim, at his mercurial displeasure their heads would roll.

The Bug fighters sat in their cradles, giant insects squatting above us with their menacing weapon shafts extended forwards. Hanging from their bellies were cables connecting them to the terminals beside them, recharging their coolant and saline levels, and pumping away waste. My Hork Bajir dragged me to one which loomed over two Taxxons, busily scrabbling their clawed 'hands' over the terminal. The Hork Bajir growled something, and they shrieked a reply. I suppose it must have been _Galard_, but I couldn't make much sense of what they said.

Medrar had reached us now and he gestured grandly at the fighter.

_Is this one ready to depart? _The Hork Bajir hesitated and motioned to the Taxxon.

"Garsh say five minutes, Hak Visser," he apologised. Medrar fumed impressively.

_Is it too much to ask that when I require a Bug fighter one will be ready? _he inquired silkily. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Arbat's brow furrow as he concentrated, and I realised he was feeding Medrar the words. Kipsing stepped up, next to Medrar, lifting his Dracon beam. My Hork Bajir stepped back, and I could _feel _the fear radiating from him. He was not happy about being the one to tell the Visser bad news.

"No other Bug fighters ready," he muttered. "Five minutes." For a second I thought Medrar really would carry the act to its finale and dispatch the Hork Bajir there and then. He certainly twitched Alloran's tail menacingly, but then his expression cleared, and he waved a many fingered hand magnanimously.

_Fortunately for you today has been a good day for me, with the capture of these scum. Just see that the fighter takes off within five minutes. _He turned dismissively from the Hork Bajir and swaggered up into the Bug fighter. Tirdellan stepped forward at a thought speak word from me, taking the end of my chains from the Hork Bajir, who was only too glad to hand me over. My daughter pulled me up the ramp as I resisted realistically and spat abuse at the Hork Bajir. They laughed at me for my pains. Kipsing and Arbat followed, dragging the real Visser up the ramp to the Bug fighter's entrance. A dribbled trail of dark Andalite blood stained the metal behind him as his mutilated cheek scraped across the floor. I longed to cross to him and hold him in my arms, but quashed the weakness within me mercilessly. One of the other Hork Bajir attempted to follow us into the fighter but Kipsing warned him off with his Dracon beam. The Hork Bajir stepped back, accepting the decision, and really I was surprised he had thought he would have fit in it with all of us too.

A Bug fighter is made to carry the standard compliment of a Taxxon pilot and a Hork Bajir warrior. The Earth ones were slightly larger than ones I had seen on holofilms – modified no doubt to also take a human controller. Still, it was a terrible squash with Medrar and the Visser taking up a large amount of space in their Andalite forms, and then four humans. It was just as well none of the other Yeerks had tried to come with us; Medrar was no longer pretending to be the arrogant Visser and had instead taken his position at the controls, something a Yeerk general would never do. After all, when one has an army of pilots why fly yourself?

_Computer, close main doors, _Arbat snapped, and there was a soft woosh as the doors slid shut. We were cut off from the terrible noises of the Yeerk pool, instantly cocooned in the deceptive safety of the Bug fighter, the only sound our breath coming fast.

_How long until I can demorph? _Tirdellan asked fidgeting. _It's been an hour now. _

_We're all capable of keeping the time, _Kipsing retorted. I sighed and struggled with my chains. They were chafing my wrists, the cold metal rubbing sorely.

_There won't be room for six Andalites in here. We'll have to stay human. Can someone unchain me please? _Kipsing stepped forwards to help, but Arbat bypassed him, unknotting the chains and unwinding them from me. For a second his hands hesitated, resting on my arms, but it was over in a brief moment. Once he had finished he turned away wordlessly, back to staring out of the main screens at the Yeerks gathered around our ship.

_If that Taxxon was telling the truth we should be cleared to leave in exactly 75 seconds, _Medrar commented. He had demorphed obligingly back to his smaller form, allowing us a little extra space. Arbat nodded absently, caressing the strange controls shaped for Taxxon hands whilst his eyes remained on the main screen. Rubbing my wrists I turned to my daughter.

_I wouldn't do that if I were you, _Kipsing snapped, as she knelt down and reached a tentative hand to the unconscious Visser's face. He lay like a macabre gift, tightly trussed, at the back of the cockpit. Tirdellan shot Kipsing a look of anger and did not withdraw her hand.

_It is safe whilst he is unconscious. _

_Just be sure he hasn't woken up then, _Kipsing replied. My daughter ignored him deliberately and gently stroked the Visser's temples. I groaned and rubbed my own temples. The angry tension between Tirdellan and the assassin was an aggravating nuisance, and sooner or later I knew I'd have to deal with it, if they did not. The prospect did not enchant me.

_Jahar, are you well? _Kipsing asked, seeing my movement. I laughed shortly.

_I will be better when we are away. What is the delay?_

_Nothing. We have just been given clearance! _Medrar announced excitedly. On the main computer screen a red light flipped to green, and with a hum the Bug fighter powered into life.

_Finally! _Arbat said. He gestured at the viewing screen, pointing towards a circle of daylight in the roof of the cavern before us and to our right. _Aim for that. _

_Can you pilot? _Kipsing asked, and I suddenly realised that I had not thought to check that with Medrar before he assumed the controls. A lot had happened on this journey whilst I had sat aside and watched.

_Some leader you are, Jahar, _I sneered at myself.

_I can fly perfectly competently, _Medrar said, unfazed by Kipsing's gaze. Gently he lifted us out of the cradle and with a soft lurch we angled forwards and up, towards the hole in the ceiling.

Towards freedom.

Arbat powered up the fighter's shields, hiding it from any watching humans. Also from any watching Yeerks, we hoped. As we neared the aperture I thought that Medrar had miscalculated, and indeed Arbat had to lean over and give the controls a small nudge, but we passed through the small opening perfectly, emerging into the dazzling evening sunlight which flooded the viewing panel.

_We're out, _Medrar hissed. I felt his elation coursing through my own veins. We were out. We'd done it!

_We're out father, _Tirdellan whispered quietly, still squatting down and stroking the Visser's bloody cheek. Uncharacteristically Kipsing allowed the opportunity for a retort to slip by, and I was grateful.

We turned immediately from the flight path the computer had assigned to us, and several lights flashed as the fighter inquired in an alarmed tone if we had meant to change direction.

_Confirm course alteration, _Medrar said clearly, and the computer calmed down again, accepting our altered course. I imagined large scale panic hitting the Blade ship when we failed to materialise, when the Yeerks realised that their Visser had vanished beyond their reach. They'd come looking for us, and I didn't doubt that there would be some sort of homing device linked to our fighter's computer. We'd have to ditch it as soon as possible. Perhaps that would provide a job for Lortif and Farling.

Arbat scanned the construction site for any wandering humans, and once he had confirmed it was clear we landed. Lortif and Farling had come out of _The Jahar_ to meet us, waving us down. Medrar gave a giddy giggle as he landed the fighter expertly on the uneven concrete, and the main doors slid open. Tirdellan and I leapt out, grateful for the air, and we both began our dimorph immediately. Arbat and Kipsing remained more restrained, dragging the Visser out whilst they retained their powerful human forearms. Farling goggled at him as he was rolled from the main doors onto the rough ground.

_You actually succeeded? That is Visser Three?_

_Of course it is, _Kipsing laughed. _And he is not going to be a happy Yeerk when he wakes up. _Lortif laughed, and Farling too, and I joined them, giddy with the surprise that we had actually succeeded. Somehow we'd walked into the Yeerk pool and kidnapped Visser Three.

Impossible.

Still, all was not well, as Tirdellan stalked by Kipsing and onto _The Jahar_ in a distinct huff. He sent a private comment after her – I don't know what he said but I saw her stiffen and turn her eyes to him before she could control herself, and he snorted softly.

Arbat motioned to the prone body of my husband.

_Arisths, get this onto the ship and install it in Storage Room 5. _Farling and Lortif snapped off salutes, clearly still impressed by our success, and Medrar joined them in dragging my poor battered Alloran onto _The Jahar_ by his chains. _It does not bother you to see my brother hauled around like a piece of meat? _Arbat inquired privately to me. I turned to him, but he was demorphing and checking the outside of the Bug fighter for homing devices.

_It hurts more than you can imagine, _I said, instantly annoyed.

_So I can see, _he snorted, still keeping his back to me. Angrily I left him and attempted to follow the Arisths onto the ship. Kisping slunk after me, sticking to me like a shadow.

An annoying shadow.

_I will see that he is securely chained and guard him, _the assassin said. I pushed him aside irritably.

_Thank you but I will do so myself. _

_Jahar. _His hand touched my arm and I pulled away, startled by his presumptuous contact. _I promised my mother I would keep you safe, _Kipsing continued. _Even from yourself. That is not your husband._

_I know that very well thank you, _I replied coldly, furious at his arrogance, but Kipsing did not back down.

_Let me see to it, _he said coolly. _You'll be safest if you stay away. _A part of me wanted to agree, didn't want the arduous trial of guarding the Visser as he screamed at me with my husband's voice, but something deep inside recoiled at the idea of entrusting Alloran to this cold, sadistic assassin. Would he remember that my husband lived in Visser Three too? Or would he take the opportunity to torment the Yeerk, hurting my mate in the process?

_Kipsing, I would not trust my enemy to your charge, let alone my husband, _I said, more brutally than I had meant to. He recoiled and his face tensed, fierce anger controlled with difficulty.

_Forgive me, Jahar, _he said with difficulty. _But I have a promise to keep. Choose someone else to watch the slug if you want, but I will not let you near him. _

_Medrar, _I began, but even as I said it I could see that it would not work. The Visser, the Yeerk in Alloran's head, was too dangerous to trust to the Arisths when conscious. As I slumped in indecision Arbat trotted up.

_Jahar, will you come with me? _he asked. _I must speak with you. _Internally I groaned, wanting nothing more than to be rid of the lot of them, but turned to him to reply.

_Yes! Yes, all right. I will come with you, and Kipsing will guard Alloran, the Visser, whoever! See that he is chained securely. And Lortif and Farling will dispose of the Bug fighter a safe distance from here, as its residue will be picked up in Yeerk scans._

_I will see that they receive your orders, _Kipsing said gravely. He turned from me and trotted into _The Jahar. _

_My orders, _I repeated bitterly. _Who am I fooling? You won't listen to me at all, Arbat, and he'll only listen when he wants and I can't even control my own family._

_There is a reason females aren't War Princes, _Arbat said calmly, and I couldn't even care enough to rise to the implications of his words.

_I want to go home, Arbat. I've had enough. I want to go home and be with Alloran and be happy again. I am sick of being miserable, and ever since I've tried to do something about it I've been more miserable than before._

_Well, Visser Three will be dead within three days and then all will be paradise, _Arbat said, ironically, I felt. He glanced up at the dimming sky. _It's going to be a beautiful evening. Will you morph human and accompany me for a walk?_

_What? _I asked, confused and very very tired.

_So that we can talk, _he replied, his eyes unreadable. _Walk with me Jahar, and we will talk. _


	18. Chapter 18

Hello all! Chapter dedicated to all my faithful reviewers, who I love very much :) Please don't forget to let me know what you think of this one!

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Chapter 18

_Jahar, is that a fighter parked in your field? _Kalladin asked, as they crested the hill above Jahar's scoop. A chill wind whipped the knee high grasses on the ridge, caressing Jahar's legs and carrying the scent of rain to her nostrils. Behind her two the two smaller Andalites used the opportunity of the adults' halt to catch up, fighting through the tall grass which actually stood higher than one of them. Jahar followed her friend's pointing hand to the small ship settled on the grass, and her hearts clenched.

_It's military issue._

_Alloran, _Kalladin said softly. Jahar nodded.

_Or news about him. _She was unsure how to react, having heard nothing from Alloran. No word from him of his disgrace, or his future plans or of a return visit. His reticent silence irritated her, an annoyance aggravating her burning anger against him. She turned to Kalladin and smiled. _My old friend, I love you very deeply._

_But you would prefer it if I left now, _Kalladin finished. _I understand, Jahar. _She reached out her tail and gently touched the blade to Jahar's. _He is not cursed, old friend. No matter how it seems. And you were never so happy as when he asked you to be his. Do try and remember that you love him. _Jahar lifted her tail away, breaking the comforting contact.

_I know Kalladin. That's the problem._

Kalladin turned back towards her own lands, a good gallop away, and picked up speed. Farling nudged Jahar's front legs with his tail, demanding attention.

_Mother, why is Kalladin leaving so soon?_ Jahar sighed and reached down with her hand, rubbing the knuckles across his shoulders. He sent her a stream of contented happiness, still unable to conceal his baby emotions from her. Farling was getting better, and he now closed his emotions against most of Jahar's friends, but he still did not seem to see the need to shut them off from his mother, and Jahar always knew his emotional state exactly.

_We might have a visitor, Farling. Kalladin didn't want to get in the way of us meeting whoever it is._ Jahar never lied to her children if she could help it. She knew many Andalite parents practiced small deceits to quiet their offspring's questioning, but she disapproved of the habit. She waited until the smaller Andalite baby had caught its breath again and then set off at a gentle trot down the grassy slope back towards the scoop. Farling and his sister galloped at her side, their tiny legs flying to keep up with her. The smaller baby stumbled on the uneven ground, catching her oversize hooves, and the sight of her tripping amused Jahar, lifting her spirits a little. Still, it did little to dispel the cold feeling curling through her chest, and she realised that her pulse was racing, her blood pounding in her ears.

As they neared the scoop Jahar could see another Andalite galloping in the meadow just beyond it, next to the field the fighter had landed in. Her hearts flipped as she recognised Alloran's build and the silvery sheen to his fur. So, he had come home.

He clearly saw her at about the same time she saw him as he turned and galloped towards her, to meet her. Jahar slowed to a walk and the babies congregated around her. Her daughter was nervous, frightened by the big male she had never seen before, and Jahar sent her calming reassurances. Farling was less afraid, as he had seen his father recently enough to remember, but he too stuck close to Jahar and sent his sister jealous glances as she used her smaller size to shelter between Jahar's front legs.

Alloran slowed in front of them, breathing hard, his sides covered in a light lather. He had clearly been running a while and Jahar wondered how long he had been in that field, waiting to meet her, waiting to face her. She stopped and the babies milled around her feet as Alloran came to a halt in front of her. He lifted his eyes to her face and his gaze was devoid of emotion.

_Greetings Jahar, _he said quietly.

_Greetings War Prince Alloran, _she replied, and then cursed inwardly for using his rank. Alloran visibly winced.

_I would prefer it if you did not use that title, _he said.

_Yes, of course, _Jahar replied, emotionless. She didn't know what to say or do. Her hearts were racing, but in her mind was a strange cold calm to match Alloran's – his emptiness was catching. And it **was** emptiness, now that she looked more closely at him. He seemed like a hollow shell, drained of the vivacious spark that had so defined him. Jahar stepped back, and allowed him to see the babies, in a bid to fill the yawning silence between them. Alloran's eyes flicked cursorily over Farling and he extended his tail in a loveless greeting. Farling lifted his blade to his father's, confused by the lack of response in the bigger Andalite. For a second, when Alloran's eyes landed on the other baby, they lighted again.

_A daughter?_

_Her name is Tirdellan, _Jahar said. She said nothing of the horror of feeling Tirdellan die within her, of the desperate flight to the nearest medical centre cradling the miscarried mess in her arms, of the Andalite physicians telling her to let this one go and her begging and pleading them to try, **try**! Nothing of the dreadfulness of watching them prod and poke the mangled baby, and then the wonderful feeling of relief when suddenly they coaxed a pulse back into its limbs and breath into its lungs and Tirdellan, too small and tiny to live outside of an incubation cube for a while, crawled her way back to life.

Alloran frowned.

_You already named her, Jahar?_

_I did not know when you would return, _Jahar replied, meeting his gaze steadily. That was it, she resolved. The only sign she would give of her annoyance at his lack of communication. Alloran sighed.

_Neither did I, _he said honestly, and turned back to the scoop. _I need to do some work. I will talk to you later._

And like that she was dismissed. Rage boiled in Jahar, fury at his conduct. No apology, no explanation. He had just sauntered in, ran his eyes disparagingly over her side of the marriage bargain and quibbled over her naming their daughter.

As if he had performed his duties as a husband blamelessly.

_Mother, why are you so angry? _Farling asked, gazing up at her with uncertain eyes. She groaned and cursed at herself again. She had grown too used to sharing Farling's feelings, to bathing him in her own equanimity that when she had lost her temper she had forgotten to cut him off from her emotions.

_Your father has annoyed me, _she said shortly. Tirdellan was confused and upset, so she calmed herself forcefully and shared her fragile composure with her daughter. Farling took a step uncertainly after Alloran.

_He is very different, _he said.

_Yes, _Jahar replied. _He is._

Alloran avoided conversation as far as he could over the next few days. He spent much of his time out, wandering aimlessly over their fields or out of sight for hours at a time. For Jahar life continued much as before, as if she was still the only parent in the Scoop, except that every evening Alloran came home again, bringing an air of despondency and riling her. Whenever she could she packed the babies into _The Jahar_ and took them to visit her friends, desperate to escape the coldness of her husband. He had not spoken a loving word to her since his return. And he had not touched her. Not even with the very tip of his tail. The feeling that she was unloved undermined the burning anger in her, filling her with a growing numb misery, which she tried desperately to quash for the sake of Farling and Tirdellan. She was still able to laugh with her friends (even if her circle of acquaintances had shrunk to the very few who remained loyal to her in her disgrace) and to cavort with Farling and Tirdellan, but increasingly it required long night runs to work off the steam and scream at the stars.

She had him back, but Alloran wasn't back at all.

It was as if the warm loving Andalite she had married had melted away, leaving just the empty shell that had once held him. it wasn't a marriage anymore, because she felt alone, the only parent for her children.

After a particularly stressful day in which Alloran had not even acknowledged Farling's attempts to engage his father in some play fighting Jahar galloped far further than usual, under the gleaming stars, pounding the hard ground with her hooves until her legs ached. Surprised she perceived a gleam ahead, the moons reflecting off a great body of black water. She'd been running for hours, long enough to have reached Lake Stilena, and she shivered as she slowed to a trot. The night air was chilly and it would be almost morning by the time she got back to the scoop. Descending between the dunes, Jahar picked her way over the sand and down to the waterline. As she waded in, the warm water lapped at her foaming sides silkily, carrying away the sweat she'd worked up, and she sighed, feeling the heat of the day still in the lake relaxing her and loosening her limbs. The sound of a ship's engine made her look up, startled, and she turned back to the beach, watching as a ship landed on the sand. It was unmistakably _The Jahar_.

Jahar's hearts thudded, and for a second she considered running away so that the pilot wouldn't see her, but instead she stood still, frozen in indecision, as an Andalite figure descended from the ship. Alloran (for of course it was him) saw her almost instantly and hesitated on the sand.

_Are you going to run away from me again? _Jahar asked tiredly, the soothing water washing gently over her back. She was not in the mood for a fight anymore but was sick and tired of this terrible impasse between them.

_Forgive me. I did not know you were here, _Alloran replied formally, walking uncertainly forward to the water's edge. _I did not follow you, if that's what you think._

Jahar snorted. _I wouldn't dare to hope you could care enough to bother. _The dim moonlight filtered down on Alloran's face and she remembered suddenly another night, long ago, when they had met in moonlight and he had asked her to be his. There was something about the night time. The shadows of darkness gave her the courage to speak as she could not during the day. Alloran's face was in shadow, unreadable.

_Jahar, I care about you, _he said dully. Jahar laughed derisively and suddenly kicked her heels, crashing out of the water and right up in front of him.

_Indeed. So much that you won't speak to me or touch me. _

Alloran faltered. _I am ashamed. _

She grabbed his arm with her hand, a shockingly violent gesture for an Andalite, pulling him towards her, and he resisted instantly, waking up and snapping his tail threateningly.

_Ha! _she cried. _A reaction! I haven't seen one of those for a while._

_Jahar, _he warned, and she ignored him and cracked her own tail forward. FWAPP! He barely blocked her blow, aimed at his throat. _Jahar! _She said nothing but attacked him again, another cruel blow aimed at his head, and this time he not only blocked her but struck back, his tail blade pressed suddenly under her chin.

_So you __**can**__ move, still, _Jahar said coldly.

_Are you trying to provoke me? _Alloran asked bitterly. _To prove I really am mad?_

_How would I know if you were or not? _Jahar replied. _You won't speak to me._

_I told you, I am ashamed! _he growled.

_So you come home and treat me like I no longer exist! _Angrily she pushed her chin down on his blade, and he relented it, pulling it back to avoid cutting her. _Alloran, you are the father of my children. You are my husband! _She paused, suddenly horrified. _The children! We left them alone! _Pushing past Alloran she made for _The Jahar_ and he followed her in obediently. _I can't believe you were so callous, _Jahar complained, as she coaxed the engines to life. _The Jahar_ powered up again with a welcoming whine and lifted off easily. Jahar set the autopilot for home, and turned angrily back to Alloran. _You can't act so irresponsibly, no matter how much you are wallowing in self pity! If my children are hurt I will not spare you on account of your misery._

Alloran stepped away from her, as if her anger physically drove him back. His head hung, his shoulders slumped, the brief fire in his eyes diminished again. _If you want, I will kill myself, _he said quietly. _Then you can marry again. _Jahar stared at him incredulously.

_How could you dare? _she hissed. _How dare you talk of killing yourself? You have children._

_They deserve a better father than me, _Alloran replied, stirring himself again. _And you a better husband. I'm a monster, Jahar._

_No you're not._

_Yes, I am, _he said firmly. _I look back at what I did and I am appalled, Jahar. I can not understand how I carried such evil inside me. _

Jahar stared at him for a moment, shaking with anger and fear too, the fear that he really would make good his threat and remove himself forever. Finally she reached out a quivering hand and touched his cheek. He fell into her palm, slumping heavily against her. _I don't know why you did it, _she said, fighting to control herself. _But I don't care, Alloran. War is a male arena. What you do there is not my concern. What you are doing at home, in my scoop, is destroying our family._

_What does it matter when I have already ruined our family's prospects? _Alloran protested miserably. _The future for our children._

_Do not ruin their childhood too, _Jahar snapped. _Alloran, if you truly love them then show them some affection. Don't ignore them._

_I don't deserve them, _Alloran replied mournfully. _I am a failure. I tried to do what I thought best and I failed. I don't deserve two children to blight, and you, my darling Jahar, don't deserve to be ruined by me._

Fwapp! Her blow caught him unprepared, a stinging snap across his face, and he staggered back, more shocked than angry. _I am your wife, _Jahar growled. _Alloran, I chose to stand by you. You can not dispose of our marriage simply because it is no longer convenient. _He leaned towards her, tentatively.

_Jahar, I can not stand myself for the misery I have inflicted on you._

_You are inflicting far more by shutting me out, _Jahar said grimly. Alloran hesitated, and when he spoke again his thought speak was lifted with a new note, one which she hadn't heard in his voice since his return. Hope.

_So, if I apologise and try to do better, could you possibly forgive me?_

_I will start to, _Jahar replied. _Alloran, I don't care what you did. I need you to love me and be my husband and provide a father for our children. I need you to do that._

He reached out and touched her shoulder, and she reciprocated, reaching up and linking her hands behind the back of his head. _It will be hard to live on after such a disgrace, _Alloran whispered. _But because I love you, I will._

Jahar heaved a sigh of relief and used one of her hands to touch his cheek in the briefest kiss.

_Thank you, Alloran. Thank you, love._

When they reached the scoop Farling was awake, anxiously waiting by the entrance of the sleeping area.

_Where did you go, Mother? _he asked.

_Your mother went for a run, _Alloran replied, and Farling turned to his father, surprised by the response. He'd been expecting Jahar to reply. Alloran smiled. _And I went to find her, and we talked about important things. _Alloran stepped forwards, reaching down with his hand to stroke Farling. Despite himself, the young Andalite stretched happily under his father's fingers. _Now, what are you doing up?_

_I had a bad dream, _Farling admitted. _I didn't wake Tirdellan though._

_A bad dream? _Alloran asked. He glanced at Jahar for a second, for confirmation, and she gave him a tiny nod. _Well, _Alloran said, reaching down again to his son, _why don't you tell me about it and we'll sort it out._


	19. Chapter 19

Hello, hello. I apologise now for being so bad about replying to reviews - I WILL get round to it but right now I have NO time , and only managed to get this out by going into the small hours. Anyway, here is the next installment (finally). Please let me know what you think :)

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Chapter 19

Grey clouds were gathering, covering the single Earth moon and limiting the starlight. I sighed and rubbed a thick-fingered human hand across my brow.

"Arbat, I'm very tired. Can this not wait?" He walked on ahead for a moment, as if he hadn't heard me. We had ambled aimlessly into the city, past the human shopping centre. A couple walked by, their dog straining at its leash, their laughter abrasive to my exhausted mind. Arbat stopped outside a glass shop front. Illuminated inside, on silk cushions, nestled human jewellery: chains of rare minerals and glittering stones glimmering seductively.

"Did you know a human male marks out his wife by giving her a gold ring?" Arbat asked. Inside I groaned, and stepped up to him. To our right a human in tatty clothes was playing music on an Earth instrument, a bow in his right hand drawn across a stringed box held in his left and under his chin. Achingly sweet notes dripped from his clumsy human fingers, and a sudden tang in the air warned me that the earlier clear skies really had been deceptive. As a breeze lifted I felt the first light drop of rain on my lips.

"Arbat, I do not have time for games," I said. He lifted his eyes and suddenly reached out and grasped my hand.

"No, Jahar, you have no time at all. Soon Alloran will be back with us, and you will be trapped, once more tied to his disgrace." I stood perfectly still, unsure whether to be shocked or angry or just mind numbingly tired. Above us the distant roar of thunder rolled across the sky, and the rain increased from the odd drop to a light shower. Neither of us paid it any attention, or looked away as humans shrieked around us and lifted umbrellas to the sky. "This is your very last chance to run," Arbat said, above the murmur of the rain, leaning in closer. "With me, Jahar..."

I stepped away, breaking the contact, breaking the moment. My breath steamed in the chill air in front of me.

"No Arbat. There are no more chances. There have been no chances for years, and it is time you accepted that. I can never truly forgive Alloran for what he did, but I love him as my husband. And he is the father of my children." I met his gaze in a challenge. "Your nephew and niece, Arbat."

I don't know what reaction I had expected. It was the first time I had ever forced him to acknowledge his relationship to my children. Arbat snorted.

"Jahar, I will not deceive you by pretending I care about Alloran's spawn." Raindrops clung to my eyelashes and I realised I was shaking.

"You've never forgiven us for marrying, have you?" My voice was astonishingly calm.

"Why should I?" he asked coldly. "You both left me and terminated contact. I lost you both all at once."

"You were angry because we left?" I repeated, astonished.

"I was alone," Arbat said simply. "Suddenly, Jahar, I lost you and my brother, the only two creatures I have ever cared about." A flash of lightning illuminated his face with a sudden deathly pallor, and I felt a strange wave of guilt.

"I'm sorry, Arbat," I said, as if speaking to a child. "I'm sorry you are lonely."

"Don't worry, I'm sure I am used to it by now," he said shortly, and for a second I thought of reaching out to him, but my loyalty to Alloran stood between us, like an invisible barrier. The rain had grown heavier now, a cold torrent drenching us. When I glanced up I could see the drops lancing down eerily towards me from the heavens.

"It's time to return to the ship," I said.

"It's time to return to Alloran," Arbat replied, emotionlessly. But he gave me the tiniest, fleeting smile.

The walk back to _The Jahar_ turned into a soggy dash, and despite myself the run lifted my spirits so that I collapsed against the side of the ship giggling. The rain was unrelentless, a proper summer storm, and it was astonishing to think that here on this planet, millions of lightyears from my home, it rained just as it had on my meadows. Arbat laughed too, and staggered to the side of the ship, demorphing and pressing his Andalite hand to the control panel. I demorphed, unafraid of watchers. Even if they were brave enough to have ventured outside, no human could have seen more than a few feet in the rainy dark. The Jahar's outer door slid open and we trotted up the ramp, shaking the water from our fur inside.

_I will be in my quarters, _Arbat said. _I might recommend you check the prisoner, Hak Bajeesh. _

I nodded confirmation, risking a tiny smile at the name, and turned from him towards the storage room we had ordered Kipsing to take Visser Three too. The ship was very quiet after the thunderous rainstorm, and my hooves echoed unnaturally loud on the deck. I paused outside the door to the storage room, and took a deep breath, readying myself to face the sight of my husband chained and subdued again. Rolling my head on my weary neck, I pressed my hand to the control panel and stepped through into the room as the doors slid open.

BOOSH!

Searing heat! It hit me directly in the chest, a burning ball of flame, throwing me backwards off my feet.

_AAARRGGHHH! _I slammed back, into the wall behind me, and collapsed, an agonised smoking mess. My chest was on fire, my eyes blurred. Desperately I scrabbled to find my hooves, as something stepped into the main corridor, out of the storage room.

A seven foot high body, fat and crackling with lightning. Stubby arms and legs, fizzing with energy. A great wide grin across the face. A Luminar.

Visser Three.

_Good, you are still alive, _he laughed. _It would have been a poor game for me to have killed you instantly. _I had stumbled to my feet now and he pointed a fat finger at me. _Don't move Jahar._ I ignored him and dived sideways.

_Aargh! _He nearly missed, but the edge of his blast caught me, searing my hindquarters and sending me tumbling. _Arbat! _I screamed desperately. _Kipsing!_ Visser Three advanced on me as I struggled to collect myself, his finger still pointed like a weapon at me.

_How dare you? _he growled, voice heavy with anger. _How dare you abduct me, you worthless filth?_ Another controlled blast shot from his finger, enough to burn me, agonising fire licking across my fur. I screamed in pain. He was clearly holding back. I knew for a fact that the standard Luminar blast would have killed me instantly. I lay there, gasping after it had ended, for a full two minutes. _I will make you regret your Andalite arrogance, _Visser Three promised. Unsteadily I pulled myself upright again, blood bubbling over my seared flesh. My hands left gory prints on the wall behind me as I used them to drag myself up, my burnt sides streaking the deck. Visser Three waited until I had found my feet and blasted me again, sending me tumbling tail over hooves. I slammed into a bulkhead, woozy with pain. He chuckled, amused again.

_How long can you play this game, Jahar? _I didn't reply. The Visser cocked his head, considering, his huge mouth beaming. _If you can get to your feet again, I might let you live. _He was lying. Or if he did let me live it would be as a slave, condemned to the same fate as Alloran. My entire body screamed. Kipsing? Where was he?

_Arbat, _I pleaded despairingly. _Please help me._

_Can you not do it? _Visser Three asked. He raised that finger again, sizzling with lethal energy. _Goodbye, Jahar._

TSEWWW! A bolt of energy, but not from the Visser! The Shredder blast hit him in the back and he rocked and twisted to face the new threat. _Arbat! _he screamed, recognising his host's brother instantly. Arbat stood in the passageway behind him, pointing the weapon at the Visser.

_Demorph now, scum,_ he said coldly. He was practically shaking with anger. _Demorph or I will kill you._

_With what? _Visser Three laughed. _The Luminar morph absorbs energy, Arbat, even from a Shredder. The more you shoot me the stronger I'll get. _Arbat didn't move, but stood there, frozen. He held the now useless Shredder still, as the Visser faced him.

Luminars don't have eyes on the back of their heads. Which means Visser Three didn't see me climb to my feet again. He didn't see me reach for my weapon. _Do you know, I think I'll keep you as a host for one of my lieutenants, _the Visser gloated to Arbat, who took an unconscious step back from the sheer heat of the Luminar body.

_Visser! _I shouted. He swivelled back to me, too late, as I pumped the handle of the fire extinguisher.

_AAARRGGHH! _The Visser writhed as a powered jet of coolant slammed into him. His exterior under its blast was suddenly mere flesh, the electricity melting under the stream. The Visser spun wildly, a bolt of energy shooting from his flailing fingers and hitting Arbat, hurling him back against the bulkhead. He slammed down, stunned, eyes fluttering. _Jahar!_ Visser Three screamed in fury. The fire extinguisher gave a final squirt and then sputtered, spent, and I dropped it instantly. Visser Three was in a bad way, half crackling with energy and half soggy grey flesh, but his eyes were trained on me with a look of intense hatred. He pointed a finger and I dodged awkwardly.

BOOSHH!

A near miss! I staggered on burnt and aching legs to the left down the passageway and he waddled behind me. A bend in the corridor saved me from his next blast and I forced myself forward to the main doors. _I'll fry you like I did that stupid guard you set on me! _the Visser raged. My hearts congealed in my chest, and I nearly stopped running in horror. Kipsing! Oh, Kipsing!

I reached the main keypad and slapped my hand desperately against it. With a hum the main doors slid open and I staggered out, onto the ramp. The pouring rain crashed down on me, agonising on my tender burnt skin, and I couldn't help but scream. The pain caused me to stumble and fall, rolling to the ground. Raising my head I dimly saw the Luminar appear, framed in the main entrance. He didn't step forward but regarded me through the dark veil of rain.

_Was I meant to dash blindly out after you, Jahar? _he asked. _No, I can hit you perfectly easily from here._ He lifted that finger and I closed my eyes, prepared for the very worse.

Tseww! Again, Shredder fire instead of the Visser's anticipated blast. Again Visser Three had been caught from behind, and he lurched forwards from the shock of the blast. Out, onto the ramp, into the rain! _No!_ he howled in anger, as the water instantly quenched the remaining lighting flickering over his body. He stumbled to his knees. Behind him Arbat staggered forwards and swung his tail, pressing the blade against the Visser's meaty throat.

_Now you will demorph, _Arbat shouted. _Now you will demorph and you will free my brother you vile, vile parasite! _I began morphing myself, as fast as I could, still whimpering in pain as the rain stung my burnt flesh; but new, unscarred skin was forming as I slid back to my human morph. I stood up on my two legs just in time to see the Visser's features melt back into those of my husband. Arbat snapped his tail, the blow catching the Visser on the side of his head, and he collapsed, stunned, on the ramp. I clambered back up to Arbat. He was breathing hard, his dark blood mixing with the rain and trickling in watery rivulets from the burnt flesh. I reached out and took the Shredder from his hand.

"Morph, Arbat." As he morphed to human I demorphed to my own Andalite form.

_Mother! _I turned instantly at the hysterical shout, and peered through the rain. A blue figure shimmered into view, Tirdellan, and behind her out of the darkness stumbled Medrar. Tirdellan slammed into me, and I realised she was shuddering, her whole body shaking.

_Tirdellan! _I hugged her close, unbelievably grateful to see her alive. She pulled away and looked up at me, eyes wide with panic.

_He killed Kipsing! It was too fast – Kipsing pushed me out of the room and locked the doors and then I heard a blast and he screamed. _She shuddered again and I ran my tail soothingly over her shoulders. _He screamed, oh I heard him scream and then no more! Nothing more!_ Her knees gave way and I bent down, cradling her shivering form in my arms. I glanced up at Medrar, running my eyes over him for damage. He seemed shaken but unharmed.

_Farling and Lortif? _I asked, unable to keep my voice steady. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, from pain and horror and sheer misery and I wanted to run far away from the knowledge that my son might be dead. I desperately wished my own mother was there to hold and soothe me.

_Farling and Lortif are disposing of the Bug fighter, _Medrar replied. He stepped forward, his head hanging. _Jahar, I am sorry we ran. When Tirdellan came to my quarters my only thought was to get her away. _

_No, _I shook my head. _It's all right, you did the right thing. You're both alive. That's what matters._

_Kipsing isn't, _Medrar whispered, and his words sent another wave of horror washing through me.

_No, _I said softly. I raised Tirdellan's head. _How did this happen? Why was he allowed to morph?_

_It's my fault, _she moaned, rocking back and forth. _I was talking to Kipsing. I... I made him look at me. When we saw what had happened it was too late. He screamed so loud! _I closed my eyes in awful resignation as the scene fluttered before me: my daughter and Kipsing talking urgently about their budding relationship whilst behind them the comatose Visser awoke and morphed. Kipsing had been sent to keep me safe, and now he was dead. He was gone.

Kalladin's face swam before my eyes and I felt the weight of leaden misery descend fully on me. How could I ever face her and tell her her son was dead?

_Jahar? _Arbat called.

_Not now, Arbat! _I snarled, furious at his constant demands, forgetting instantly that I owed him my life.

_Jahar? _another voice said, and a strange leap of **something** bolted through me. I suddenly found it very hard to breathe, but somehow stood up and turned away from Tirdellan. The rain still poured, blurring my vision.

War Prince Alloran stood in front of me, his fur slick with rain water, his head bowed.

_Jahar, please forgive me_, he whispered.


	20. Chapter 20

Hello hello! I'm really sorry about the delay - but the good news is my exams are over so I can give this some more attention now! Also the delay was caused because I suddenly had a freak-out, tore up my remaining plot and redesigned the WHOLE ending. It was rather intense... As always this is for you guys who have stuck faithfully with it :) Please review...

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Chapter 20

_Jahar, love, are you in?_ Jahar glanced up from her computer screen at her husband, hovering somewhat coyly at the entrance to the scoop. She didn't smile.

_It would appear so. _Still Alloran dallied in the sunlight, his hands behind his back as if he were hiding something from her. Jahar sighed irritably. _Will you come in or shall I come out?_ Alloran leaned against the side of the scoop, the sunlight gleaming off the muscular lines of his body, and for a second she was struck again by the fact that he had once been, and still was a very attractive Andalite.

_Jahar, I have convinced our children to love me, _Alloran said, and she wrinkled her forehead at the unexpected conversation topic. _And yet, it seems I can not win you back. _His thoughtspeak held regret, but also a strange tantalising teasing tone.

_You tried to wipe out an entire race, _Jahar said baldly, confused as to why he was treating their obvious coolness as some sort of a joke. Alloran dipped his head, _mea culpa _style.

_A __terrible moment of madness, brought on by the horror of war. There is not a day I do not regret it, but I can not bear to think that it is destroying our marriage. You would not have me leave, but now I am here you still seem unhappy._

_And yet this seems to amuse you, _Jahar replied archly. Alloran shook his head vigorously.

_Oh Jahar, if you only knew. _He paused. _Love, I require your permission to continue. Are you in a mood to be won again?_

_Less so by the second, _Jahar said coldly. Alloran hesitated, and then spoke again.

_Jahar, will you come out into the sunlight? I have a gift for you._

Jahar sighed and stretched, easing the stiffness from standing still from her limbs. Over the weeks since Alloran had come home his dreadful despondency had abated somewhat, as he engaged more with his children. She'd seen him run with them laughing, across the fields. But with her he remained formal and serious, as if out of some respect for the gravity of his actions. Genocide could not be gaily brushed away: it stretched like a gaping chasm between them, with the dead Hork Bajir reaching out of it and screaming at her every time she or Alloran tried to move closer. His new mood unnerved her, and as she stepped out into the sunlight the Hork Bajir howled loud in her head.

Alloran kept his hands behind his back, but motioned with his head to the ground. She glanced down and saw a Kafit bird, in a ramonite cage. The walls had been made transparent to allow her to see it, with its sharp hunting beak and six wings, glowing brightly. She sighed and looked back at Alloran.

_You brought me a bird? I would much rather it were free._

_We'll let it go in a minute, _Alloran promised. _It is not the gift. Close your eyes, Jahar. _She rolled them grumpily, but shut them obediently. The sensation of nearby movement told her that he had stepped close, and she felt his breath on her shoulder as the briefest contact told her that his arms had slid over her head and were loosely encircling her. Despite the shrieks in her head for a second she realised how long it had been since she last had him close. It had been at the end of his last visit, before his disgrace and fall. She remembered it and a tremor slipped through her before she could stop it.

_Open,_ Alloran commanded, and she obeyed, blinking in the brilliant sunlight. Using her stalk eyes she glanced down at Alloran's hands in front of her, and gasped.

_Alloran, what is that?_

_It's called the Escafil device, _he said softly. _The blue box. Do you know what it does?_ Jahar nearly burst into shocked giggles. Of course she did! What Andalite didn't? And what female didn't dream jealously of the warriors who were given the ability to change their shape and become another creature? Warriors who could fly and shrink to a pin prick.

_Females aren't supposed to be exposed to the technology, _she whispered reverently, her eyes filled by the small, innocuous looking cube.

_I still have a few friends in the military, _Alloran laughed. _A very small number indeed, it is true, but enough. _She reached out falteringly to the box, but drew her hand back again as if afraid of being burnt. Alloran laughed again and twisted around to face her, holding the small glowing cube out to her. _Do not be afraid, love. All you need do it touch it._ She stretched out her fingers again, braver this time, and the cacophony of death howls in her head shrank to a low murmur. The box was warm to the touch, and following her mate's example she splayed her hand on one of the faces of the cube. A strange tickling sensation passed into her, and then Alloran drew the cube away again. Jahar stared in surprise at her hand. It appeared completely unchanged.

_Did it work? _she asked. Alloran motioned to the captive Kafit bird.

_Shall we try it? _he teased. He opened the box and she slid a hand in, carefully avoiding the bird's jabbing beak. She placed her palm lightly on the back feathers. _Imagine the bird and all that it is to be the bird, _Alloran instructed. Jahar formed an image of the creature in her head, and beneath her touch it stopped flapping and struggling to reach her with its beak, growing calm, almost in a trance. Jahar withdrew her hand carefully, and the bird seemed to take a moment to wake up. It glanced around, spied the open lid of the cage and flapped out, squawking indignantly. Jahar followed it with her eyes as it beat the many wings for altitude. Alloran smiled.

_Would you like to fly too, love? _he asked.

_How do you do it? _

_Imagine the bird, _he ordered. He closed his eyes and suddenly feathers appeared, spreading across his body, bursting out of the skin.

_Does it hurt? _Jahar asked, concerned, as his tail shrivelled. He cracked open one eye.

_Not at all. The only worry you have it to be ready for the instincts of the bird. _She needed no further encouragement but closed her own eyes and imagined the Kafit bird, focussing on its sharp beak, many wings, its beady eyes.

The changes were fast. Jahar gasped as her arms shrank, and then suddenly she fell onto her belly as her legs migrated to her back to become wings. It felt like it should have hurt but it didn't, in a strange way, and it wasn't long before the morph was complete. The Kafit mind was not difficult to recognise and subdue: a vague instinct to fly and chase small things which shot by. She didn't like the other bird though, as it was another male and too near to her. Squawking crossly, she puffed up her feathers and spread her six wings aggressively.

_Please don't attack me, _a voice said in her mind, and suddenly she realised it was Alloran, the bird was Alloran, and she was Jahar.

_I am sorry, _she apologised. Alloran tipped his head to the sky.

_Shall we fly? _He beat his wings and she followed suit, laughing incredulously as her body lifted off the ground, as she gained height. A breeze caught her, lifting her up, and it was as if the body knew how to fly itself. She relaxed and let the bird take charge as the ground dropped away beneath her.

_This is astonishing!_ It was an incredibly liberating feeling, as the wind ruffled her feathers and she flew, unconstrained by dimensions, by gravity, free as she had never been before.

_It is my favourite morph, _Alloran admitted. He soared even higher. _Catch me if you can!_

They flew for almost the whole two hour morphing period, above the common grasslands where a group of arisths were play-fighting. Jahar's heart caught for a second as she thought of Farling, denied the shining future in the military those arisths took for granted, but it was hard to stay mournful when flying, and she surrendered to the joy of soaring above the Andalites chained to the ground.

_Do you think this is how the Ellimist feels? _she asked Alloran. He laughed.

_Don't tell me you believe that story love. Ellimist indeed!_

_And why not? _she pushed. _Would your parents have believed me if I told them that their son would one day fly on wings?_

_Technology is different from superstition, _Alloran countered. _And besides, if you believe in the Ellimist then you have to entertain the theory that there are others too. Forces of evil ranged against us._

_Perhaps there are, _she challenged, able to speak of things she would not usually because of the liberating power of flight.

_Bah! _Alloran snorted. _We control our own destinies. _His voice had lost its joy, and grown heavy with sadness. _Our own choices dictate our futures. _Jahar shivered, and flapped closer to him, as if two birds could cuddle in the air.

_Forgive me love, I did not mean to make you sad, _she whispered. Alloran shook himself.

_It would be very easy, wouldn't it, to__ believe in all powerful beings? _he said quietly. _Because then it wouldn't all be our own fault. My fault. Jahar will you ever love me again?_

Jahar hesitated. She had sensed the conversation was leading to this, and yet had no prepared answer. Finally she said, _I don't know, Alloran. I want to very much. But what you have done is… horrific. There is a darkness in you I never saw before, and which I can not understand. _

_I do not understand it either, _Alloran said bitterly. _You only have to stand next to it. I carry it every day, and every day I ask myself when it was that I decided to sacrifice an entire race. But…_ he stopped, and then collected himself. _Jahar, what I did was morally reprehensible, but I still believe it was the right thing to do_. _If the Yeerks had been allowed to keep the Hork Bajir race intact then they would have been almost unstoppable. At least I gave us a chance. High Command hypocritically condemns with me whilst reaping the rewards of what I have done. Yet it hurts more when I feel you are doing the same._

Jahar nearly fell out of the air at his words. With difficulty she struggled to find an answer.

_Alloran, I can never condone what you did. But… it does not define you__. _It was difficult to swallow her long-simmering anger, but for the first time she found she actually wanted to. _Perhaps I have allowed my anger at your crime to become anger against you, _she admitted._ I will try to separate them. _He turned his head to her, the Kafit bird's face expressionless.

_Thank you love. That would mean a lot to me. _She angled her wings to fly closer to him, and for once there was silence in her head.

That evening they took the children to Jahar's mother's scoop and left them there, fussed over by their grandmother and her friends. They used _The Jahar_ to take them there, and afterwards Alloran piloted the ship, and he flew away from their scoop, away from their continent even, across the small ocean which covered only a twelfth of the Andalite world, to a lush plain Jahar had never seen before. The evening air was warm and heavy with the promise of rain and the perfume of foreign plants. Alloran was clearly familiar with the place, leading her through the knee high fronds to a small oasis in the middle of the vegetation where they were able to drink. Afterwards he showed her the tropical grasses which only grew here, in the equatorial regions, with their bold scents and vibrant colours. And after they had fed on the delicate grasses until they were both satiated he stood still, waiting awkwardly, nervously as she crossed the chasm, ignoring the Hork Bajir clasping at her heels, and was close to him once more.


	21. Chapter 21

Here we are :) Another chapter, and some present Alloran moments - so much fun to write! Please let me know what you think xxx

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Chapter 21

_Mother? Are you awake? _Wearily I opened my eyes, wincing at the bright overhead light. I was lying on a table-top which held my legs and tail comfortably. Tirdellan was leaning over me, eyes wide.

_What happened? _

_You fainted, _Tirdellan said softly. _Outside, in the rain. We carried you in and father told me to watch over you. _'Father'… My hearts skipped and instantly I swung my legs off the table.

_Your father! Where is he? _He was so close!I tried to stand but my legs nearly gave way and Tirdellan caught me with difficulty. _Why am I so weak?_

_Arbat said the morphing and adrenaline would have tired you out, _Tirdellan said mechanically. I held onto her, pulling myself upright, and suddenly the sad expression on her face reminded me…

_Oh, Kipsing, _I groaned. Tirdellan gasped, and then she reached out to catch the table top. Suddenly I was the one supporting her.

_Mother, it's so awful! He's gone, but Lortif and Farling…_

_What?_ Something cold wrapped itself around my chest and squeezed. My son! Where was my son?

_They were getting rid of the Bug fighter, _Tirdellan whimpered. _The Yeerks… they found them somehow. They took them. _I closed my eyes in horror. Would this nightmare never end?

_Tirdellan, how do __you know? Maybe they're just delayed. _I was clutching at straws but it was all I had to keep me sane. Tirdellan shook her head miserably.

_There's a transmission. In the main cockpit. _I walked with her from the quarters I had been installed in (my own, now that I looked more closely, although my computer had been moved to make room for the table I was resting on) to the main cockpit. My blood thudded loud in my ears. Arbat and Alloran stood next to each other, in front of the main computer screen. Medrar was in a corner, his tail drooping, and my hearts went out to him. On the computer screen was an image of a human, a female with long dark hair and an icy expression. As I entered the cockpit Arbat gave me a brief greeting nod. Alloran turned to me and held out his hand.

_Jahar… _I went to him, but it was not as I imagined. There was no loving reunion, because our son was missing. I had regained my husband, but neither of us had time for each other. I turned to the main screen and motioned to it.

_What is this?_

_A transmission for me, _Alloran whispered. He nodded at Medrar. _Would you play it again aristh? _Medrar complied, his fingers moving without their customary lightness over the keypad, and the transmission began again.

The face of the human female filled the screen. Behind her was a metal wall – it looked like the interior of a standard spaceship. Her voice was cold, devoid of humanity. Pure Yeerk.

"This is a message for War prince Alloran. I am in command of the Yeerk invasion of Earth. I know you are out there. I know you are not alone. You have six hours to turn yourself in before I order the infestation of the two arisths we captured. Surrender, and your son and his friend will be released unharmed. Your friends will be allowed to leave this planet unmolested. Failure to comply will condemn them." We were shown a brief shot of two small Andalites, sprawled unconscious on the floor of cages. A Hork Bajir stepped up to them and roughly lifted their limp heads in turn, showing us their faces.

_It's them, _I whispered, feeling like I wanted to cry. _They've got them. _The transmission cut back to the human. "Meet us at the forest entrance to the Pool. Six hours, slave."

Arbat turned to Alloran.

_How __can they possibly know you are free? _he asked. Alloran shrugged.

_I do not know, brother. __But perhaps if he returned to them…_

_He was washed away in the rain! _Arbat snapped irritably. _There is no way he could have returned to his brothers. _I glanced up.

_What are you talking about? _Arbat didn't reply, so Alloran turned to me, his expression heavy.

_Jahar, after the Visser left me he vanished. _

_What?_

_We couldn't find him, _Arbat said. _One second he was on the ramp, near my hoof, the next he was gone. It must have been the rain. _I turned between them, these two very different brothers who had taken the situation out of my hands, so that I now felt like everything was spiralling out of control.

_Can you be sure?_

_No, _Alloran said firmly.

_No, _Arbat admitted grudgingly. He indicated the face on the screen. _But how could he have returned to them in his natural state?_

_It would explain this desire for my return, _Alloran said quietly. _The Visser spent many years acquiring morphs through me. If he still lived he would not want to infest either of the arisths, if there is the option of having me back. _I reached out and grabbed his hand, suddenly panicked.

_But he's not getting you back! Even if he is still alive!_

_No, of course not, _Alloran soothed.

_We will find a way to rescue them then? _I asked, feeling like a child in need of reassurance.

_It will be dangerous, _Arbat warned, but Alloran flicked him a look with his dark green eyes and he didn't say any more.

_From what I have heard they risked everything to join you in your mission to save me, _Alloran said softly. He lifted my chin so that I was looking up into those achingly familiar eyes. _I am so very grateful Jahar. I will not let our son endure what I did, or his brave friend. _He turned to Medrar and Tirdellan. _But I can not ask you children to risk your lives again for me and mine. You should stay on the ship, where it is safe._

_Lortif and Farling are my friends, _Medrar snapped. _I am coming with you. _

_As am I! _Tirdellan said, bravely, straightening up.

_No! _I turned to her, weak with the horror that I might lose her as well. _No, we need someone on the ship, ready to pilot us away quickly. And you must move The Jahar somewhere else, somewhere we don't know about, in case we are taken. We can not let her fall into enemy hands. _Tirdellan looked like she might argue, but I reached forward with my blade and touched hers gently. _You have already been more than brave enough, Tirdellan. _

_As have you, Jahar, _Alloran said quietly.

_What? _I turned back to him, and he walked forward, reaching out and touching my shoulder gently.

_Stay with Tirdellan. Stay safe._

_No! _I shouted, unable to prevent my outburst. _No, I am coming with you for my son. _Alloran's face clenched, as it always did when someone opposed his will.

_Jahar I can not risk you again, _he said, his tone gentle but somehow also threatening. _You have played your part love. Let the males take it from here. _I was about to reply, but Arbat got there first.

_If I recall, Jahar is still 'Hak Bajeesh', _he said quietly. _Since she has not officially resigned her duties it is up to her who comes and who goes. _Alloran turned on him in anger.

_Do not be foolish, brother. You and I will command this rescue mission, and Jahar will stay here. _Arbat shook his head.

_I followed Jahar to Earth, _he said. _I still follow her as my Hak Bajeesh. I will do as she commands. _The challenge in his tone was clear, and Alloran shifted angrily from side to side before turning back to me.

_Jahar!__ Please be sensible!_

_I have as much of a right to rescue my son as you do, _I said steadily. _And more, I have a responsibility for Lortif. I am coming with you. _

_Fine then, _Alloran snarled in an exasperated tone. _Fine, you shall be Prince, Jahar. Do you have a plan?_ I recoiled, hurt by his temper, but I suppose it was mainly because he was unused to freedom. Moreover, it must have been frustrating as once he was freed he had instantly had a decision taken out of his hands. Still, it upset me, that we two were not loving but tense with conflict.

_I have no plan, _I admitted, hanging me head. Arbat laughed.

_Well how fortunate for you that you have an Apex level Intelligence Adviser on your staff, _he said. _I have at least three._

We left Tirdellan onboard _The Jahar_, and watched as she lifted it up, shielding it and taking it far away so that we could not betray its location, even unwillingly. She was perfectly competent at piloting it, having grown up with it, and I was not afraid for her. She would be safe, watching us on her viewing screens. It was us who I was worried for. There were four of us: Medrar, Alloran, Arbat and me. The plan we had settled on once again relied on deceiving the Yeerks through the use of morphing. I hoped desperately it would work a second time around.

Alloran led us to the forest on the outskirts of the city, and told us how to get to the entrance to the Yeerk pool which the Yeerks had specified. Then he morphed. Arbat morphed. Medrar and I had no battle morphs to rival our own Andalite bodies, so we remained as we were but hung behind, hopefully out of sight, as we approached the entrance. We were one hour short of the deadline.

The Yeerks stood in a clearing in front of a cave which Alloran had said led to the pool. There were about thirty Hork Bajir, all armed with Dracon beams, and twenty or so humans, arrayed around the human female who had spoken to us in the transmission. She wore blue trousers, of a type which I knew were called 'jeans', and a thick vest of shredder resistant tachonite over her shirt. As some of the Hork Bajir shifted I saw that in their midst was a pair of cages, and a flicker of hope tickled through me. Lortif and Farling could be seen, in snatched glimpses as the Hork Bajir moved, standing up. They were still alive! The Yeerks tensed as there was a rustle in the bushes, and then War Prince Alloran stepped through them, into the clearing. A flurry of movement, and he was suddenly facing forty or so Dracon beams. The human female smiled, stepping forward towards him.

"So, the wayward slave has returned."

_Let my son and his friend go, _Alloran said stonily. The human laughed.

"In a minute, slave. First put this on." She reached behind her to take something which one of her subordinates handed her, and hurled it at Alloran's hooves. As he picked it up I saw what it was: a sheath for his tail blade. Beside me, hidden in the bushes, Medrar stiffened.

_That's not part of the plan, _he whispered.

_It changes nothing, _I hissed. As I watched Alloran turned the sheath over dubiously in his hands, but then sighed and arched his tail forward. With great dignity he buckled the sheath over his blade, then turned it this way and that to see how it fit.

_Congratulations, Yeerk, you appear to have my measurements exactly, _he sneered. The human gestured to some Hork Bajir, and they ran forwards and grasped Alloran's forearms roughly. One of them took hold of his tail too, to prevent him using the sheathed end as a club. Once he was secured the human stepped close to him and ran a hand over his shoulders intimately, saying something only he could hear. Alloran shied at her touch, and she laughed, turning back to the cages.

"Release the arisths!" There was a metallic grinding noise, and then the Hork Bajir stepped back to reveal Lortif and Farling in their cages, the doors of which were swinging slowly open. The human clapped her hands. "Come on out, children! Come out and play."

_Lortif, Farling walk out slowly. Everything is under control, _I whispered. They jumped at my voice and looked round wildly.

_Mother? _Farling hissed.

_Stop looking for me and step out, _I ordered. Tentatively Farling and Lortif came out of the cages, stepping onto the mossy floor of the clearing. The human female leaned towards Alloran and said something else in a voice too low for me to catch.

_Visser Three died slowly, screaming, Yeerk, _he said coldly. _And so will you. _

Somehow it was the wrong thing to say. The human leapt back from him, an expression of shock and anger on her face. "It's a trap! Shoot them now!" she screamed, gesturing at Lortif and Farling. She spun back to Alloran. "Shoot him too! He's a fake!" The Hork Bajir levelled their weapons at the children, and were just about to fire when suddenly a roar echoed around the clearing. Everyone in the clearing tableau froze.

_Go now! _I screamed. Out of the undergrowth burst Alloran, the real Alloran, and the false Alloran reared and somehow broke free from the gaping Hork Bajir holding him. They were a bit busy staring at my mate.

He didn't look like Alloran anymore. He was huge, taller than the trees ringing the clearing. And everything was done in eights. Eight giant legs supporting the squat trunk of the body, from which erupted eight long arms, each ending in a three-fingered claw. Above the top set of arms sat eight heads. And as the startled Hork Bajir stared the first head spewed a spinning ball of flame out, smashing into their midst and scattering them in panic.

This was the reason Arbat had morphed Alloran again. He had nothing to compete with my mate's arsenal of morphs, nothing to attack the Yeerks with. Alloran was a walking weapon inventory, an arsenal. He'd flipped through the catalogue the Visser had endowed him with and come up with… this.

"Shoot it!" the human female screamed. She grabbed a Dracon beam and turned it on Alloran.

TSEWW! Two arms fell off, seared right through. Alloran bellowed in pain, and she aimed again, but Arbat swung his sheathed tail. It wasn't sharp enough to take her hand off, but it knocked the weapon from her grasp, and she backed away, still roaring at her Hork Bajir to fire on him, on the arisths, on Alloran, on Medrar and me who had leapt into the fray. Hork Bajir aimed swipes at me with their sharp wrist blades, and I parried with my tail.

_Aaaargh! _So many of them! Whilst I blocked one another tore a gash across my chest. Dracon beams fired wildly and I heard Lortif scream, watched in horror as he stumbled, his side burnt and blood dribbling from where his left foreleg had been. I struck again and again, Medrar beside me, tail whipping. Arbat was still struggling to disentangle his blade from the sheath, and a stray Dracon beam shot hit him, vaporizing his rear legs and tail. Suddenly there was no more sheath to worry about, as he flew through the air, screaming.

_Morph, brother! _Alloran yelled, and as I watched Arbat demorphed, back to his own whole self, climbing back to his feet to re-enter the fight. The arisths did their best, tails snapping back and forth, beheading Hork Bajir and lopping off limbs. But Alloran was winning the day for us, his heads shooting fireballs one after another like a living Shredder cannon. The Yeerks fell back slowly at first, and then in a mad scramble to escape the flames. They disappeared into the cave, back towards the pool, and we let them go. One of the last to fall back was the human female, snarling curses at us and firing from a Dracon beam she had picked up. I ducked a shot aimed at my head, and another one took out three of Alloran's legs. Alloran lurched, bellowing in pain, and crashed to the forest floor. He started demorphing rapidly, shrinking down again to his Andalite size. The human still fired at us as he picked himself up and galloped towards me, dodging the Dracon fire.

_Jahar, are you hurt? _he called.

_I'm fine, _I shouted. _Can you reach her? _He turned back to the human, but she backed away into the darkness, firing madly.

"I'll have you again, slave," she shouted. "No matter how hard you try the rift will never be filled!" Alloran blanched and I turned to him, shocked. He looked as if he was going to collapse. I raced to his side to steady him.

_Alloran? What is it love? _He clutched my arm queasily.

_Visser Three, _he mumbled. _That's how she knew Arbat wasn't me. That human was Visser Three. _


	22. Chapter 22

Another chapter set in the past. Yes, it's going a little bit slowly, but I didn't want to rush what we all know is coming. Please let me know what you think :)

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Chapter 22

Seasons passed. The leaves on the trees swirled in Autumnal sweeps across the meadows, rustling under their hooves as they galloped beneath the stars. Winter whisked across the Andalite home world, and they grew thicker coats, but it was never cold enough to cause them difficulties. Andalites are in essence creatures adapted to temperate climates, and their fingers would never have survived exposure to truly cold conditions. Winter merely frosted their breath and then retreated, and Spring came again, bringing with it new leaves and new hope for Jahar. As the days passed the world of war retreated, further and further away. Jahar no longer built her dreams on her mate's military success; they were now far more modest. She foresaw a future of anonymity, of being forgotten by all but her most loyal friends, of living alone with Alloran and their children in the Scoop. Such an outlook suited her, but not her husband, and that was troubling.

Alloran could not accept his fate. He would not resolve himself unto a life of solitude but waited, ever hopeful, for the summons back to war. It made Jahar's hearts ache to see him fret in the fields, galloping far beyond his dietary requirements to maintain his optimum physical position, or duelling holograms when he thought she wasn't looking. He was a father to their children, but he yearned to be a warrior again. He was not stolid, home-loving Arbat and no amount of wishing would make him be. Sometimes she caught herself wondering what her life would have been like with Arbat, what would have happened if she had stayed. She supposed she would have loved him eventually, at least as the father of her children. Still, it would never have compared.

And she did love Alloran. Her affection for him returned hesitatingly, as the sunny days and gallops together gently dimmed the memory of those howling Hork Bajir. The more he loved her and treasured her and devoted his life to her the more she disconnected her husband from his crime, attributing it to the horrors of war, far removed from her kind and tender husband in the here and now. And they were both aided by his many nights at home, a fact she recognised candidly herself. Many Andalite females with husbands in the war suffered in silence from loneliness, and Jahar attributed some of her initial fury against Alloran to frustrated desire. When she could be in his arms every night, no longer leaping desperately but relaxing into gentle, familiar intimacy it felt as if her life was slowly settling into what should be.

If only he would lose his itchy hooves.

One Spring day Jahar took Farling and Tirdellan to see Kalladin's young son, Kipsing on a planned visit. Kipsing was a little older than Farling, and a fast grower. His first move when they visited was always to challenge Farling to a tail fight, and he usually beat the younger male soundly. Farling disliked the weighted fights, but Jahar urged him to accept them because Kipsing was an only child and so rarely had the opportunity to show off his skill. His own father was a lowly technician who flew with the fleet and ran repairs on the smoking fighters brought back by the warriors from exciting battles with Yeerk Bug fighters, their sides seared and Shredders buzzing from repeated fire.

_Your boy is hardly fair to mine, _Jahar remarked as she and Kalladin amused Tirdellan with a three player game called 'Conquest'. She glanced at the central computer simulation of a landscape and moved her second war band to the edge of Tirdellan's territories.

_Better watch your mother, _Kalladin advised Tirdellan. _She's after your Ramonite reserves. _Tirdellan scanned the landscape, then selected a dome ship and sent it to the Ramonite mines. Jahar laughed.

_A bit of an overreaction, Tirdellan, but there's no doubt they're safe now. However, I fear Kalladin has tricked you._

_I said nothing but the truth, _Kalladin replied, deftly sending a small force of assassins into Tirdellan's central command. _She was indeed after your reserves. Unfortunately I am after your High command. _As they watched, Tirdellan's skeletal defence force attempted to resist the assassins, and Kalladin smiled as they were shot down.

_Are you so sure you have won? _Tirdellan asked curiously. She waited patiently for Kalladin's force to advance, and then laughed as they triggered a trap and were shot down by hidden wall Shredders. Kalladin snorted.

_Clever. You worked out my strategy several turns ago. _Tirdellan nodded. _Jahar's go, _Kalladin added. Jahar swung back to the game, looking away from their sons. Kipsing was busily instructing Farling in a new tail strike he had learnt a few days before. As she watched with her left stalk eye Kipsing demonstrated by snapping his tail past Farling's face, then whipping it back and catching him a stinging blow over the ear. Farling staggered a little, but then straightened again, game to be taught.

_You might teach your son to use the blunt of his tail more, _she murmured, selecting Shredder cannons and positioning them above Kalladin's main transport route. _Mine's bleeding. _Kalladin glanced round and sighed.

_I apologise. I will discipline him later. _Jahar completed her move and waved Kalladin's words aside.

_A few light cuts never hurt anyone. I am more concerned for how many friends Kipsing will keep if he does not learn to play gently. At school they are less tolerant of males who have not learnt to control their tails. _Jahar cocked her head to watch as Tirdellan sent an effective fighter strike against her secondary command centre. _Well done, Tirdellan. _The younger Andalite inclined her head, smiling at the praise. Kalladin stretched in an Andalite yawn, and dispatched some fighters to disrupt Jahar's cannon building arrangements.

_Kipsing will learn soon enough. Not long now until he enters the education system. _

They played late into the afternoon, the game concluding with a tense tail fight between Jahar's one surviving War Prince and two arisths Tirdellan had sent to the far reaches of the map at the beginning of the game who had escaped detection until the very end. Kalladin snickered as one of the arisths took off the Prince's arm.

_Forgive me, Jahar, but since you showed me no mercy when I made the tactical mistake of allowing you too near my central command I have no compunction in enjoying your downfall. _

_You shouldn't have made such a foolish move, _Jahar replied good-naturedly. _I could hardly pass up such an opportunity. Alloran would have been most unimpressed._

_Does your warrior husband know his wife is about to lose to her own daughter? _Kalladin asked as Jahar's Prince fell to his knees.

_I think he'll be more impressed with his daughter than disappointed in me, _Jahar replied. _Oh go on, put the poor creature out of his misery, _she added to Tirdellan. Tirdellan directed her first aristh forward and under their eyes he dispatched the war prince.

_What a violent game, _Kalladin sighed. _Do you remember when we were young, Jahar? We played such simple games as 'Chase the Kafit'._

_Yes, and how soon we grew tired of them, _Jahar replied. _Well done Tirdellan. You're getting much better at this. _She glanced up and called for Farling, loading her children back into _The Jahar_ for the flight home. Kipsing hovered near Kalladin's heels, and Jahar extended her tail to him in a friendly farewell. _You look bigger everyday Kipsing. _He returned the greeting, extending his tail.

_When I am grown up I will rebuild our lands, _he said quietly. Kalladin flushed a little at his open mention of their poverty, but Jahar only laughed at his seriousness.

_Will you indeed? I would like to see that._

_Perhaps I should teach my son silence before I teach him to play gently, _Kalladin said privately.

_I have no doubt he'll fulfil his promise, _Jahar replied. _But perhaps a lesson in reticence would be appropriate. _The females smiled at each other and touched tails, Jahar turning into her ship just as the second sun slid towards the horizon, pouring its final rays across the valley towards them. She powered up the ship and flew them away from it, towards the gathering dusk.

When they landed on their own fields Alloran trotted out of the scoop to meet them, his feet barely touching the ground. The final blaze of sunshine from the third sun was incredibly bright, cutting through the few Spring clouds and bathing him in a radiance which made his fur gleam a metallic blue. Something fluttered in Jahar, and once again she was aware that she had married a male who was most certainly not unattractive. There was a spring to his stride she had not seen in a while and she wondered what could possibly have excited him so much. He greeted the children brightly when they stepped tiredly from the ship, but sent them briskly across the near fields for their evening nourishment, telling them that they would have to gallop alone that day.

_Jahar love, will you accompany me? _he asked as she stepped down onto the grass. She almost took a step back, so powerful was his animation; he was practically fizzing with energy.

_Of course, Alloran. _She picked up an easy trot, heading for a ridge which overlooked the fields the children were grazing in, but was forced to start cantering to keep up with him as he skipped ahead. _Whatever has excited you so? You seem quite mad._

_But I'm not mad! _Alloran cried happily. _According to the best psychiatrists in the fleet! I passed their wretched tests and that means I can fly with the military again._

Jahar stumbled, conflicted between joy and a sudden foreboding. _How wonderful for you to have achieved a positive result, _she said, deliberately slowing her pace. She felt as if she had not the breath to run so fast beside him. Alloran too slowed down, so that they were standing beside each other, looking down at their children feeding in the dying rays of the final sun. He stepped closer to her and his hand drifted to her shoulder.

_My darling, surely the news that your husband is not mad is good news?_

_Perhaps I am only sad that we needed a psychiatrist to tell us that, _Jahar replied quietly. _I am sure most females only need their hearts. _Alloran hesitated.

_It soothes me at least, to know you are not saddled with an unstable husband._

_Yes, _Jahar replied. She didn't voice her sentiment that the only thing this psychiatrist report proved was that Alloran had committed his atrocities whilst horrifyingly sane, which seemed somehow far worse. Alloran fidgeted, and then moved on.

_Jahar, I have received an offer to return to the war. I am to fly on the __**Starsword**__. _

_Will you go? _she asked quietly. He hesitated again, unsure of what her reaction would be.

_War can corrupt. We have already seen that it can reveal an unhealthy side in me._

_But you would not be you if you did not go, _she said tiredly. He flinched guiltily, but she lifted her own hand to his. _It's all right, I understand. You are a warrior. _She smiled sadly. _War Prince Alloran. _It was the first time she had used his proper title since his disgrace, and he seemed to grow under the spell of those magical words.

_It will be difficult to face the other warriors again, _he said. _But Jahar, I cannot stay at home and do nothing. I am a fighter. The fleet needs warriors like me. Warriors who know how to fight._

_And when to discard integrity, _Jahar thought, but she didn't say it. She sighed and turned to Alloran. _Just remember that what you do on the battlefield will have to be carried home with you, and into my scoop. Don't bring me anything you would be ashamed of. _For an instant the awkwardness of the past hung between them, and she knew then that she was no longer innocent. She loved Alloran, but she was no longer blind as she had been before, when she believed him to be the infallible shining prince. Now, through a haze of resignation she saw that the gleaming warrior was stained by his ability to descend into darkness for the greater cause, a snare dragging at his heels and pulling him down.

_I love you so very much, _Alloran said, turning to face her. _Jahar, I will try so hard this time, for you, my love. _He reached out and stroked her face gently. _War is madness and horror. It is not a game. And you are all that keeps me sane in it. _For a second his mention of insanity shook Jahar to the core, as something horrible gleamed briefly in his deep green eyes, like a fish briefly breaking the surface of a lake, and she shivered. _Do not think I want to go because I glory in war, _Alloran continued, oblivious to her temporary discomfort. _I want to go because I have a duty to our people. If I can serve them then I must. _She stroked his face.

_Yes, I know. That is why you are you. I know this is what you have to do. Go back to war. _They exchanged a soft kiss, and then he bowed to her and turned, leading her back towards home, trotting forwards with the final brilliance of the sunlight breaking on his back. _Go back to madness, _Jahar whispered, and then she shook herself and followed her flawed mate back to the scoop.


	23. Chapter 23

Hello :) A present chapter now - hope you enjoy. Please be kind and review :D

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Chapter 23

Visser Three was still alive. That one fact suddenly seemed to be all that mattered, all that defined my existence. Because as long as the Visser lived Alloran would never leave Earth.

Tirdellan landed _The Jahar_ in the clearing. She had been watching us and brought the ship down as soon as the Yeerks had retreated. It was incredibly foolish, as we might well have lost the ship if a second Yeerk army had emerged from the pool entrance, but I left Arbat to admonish her and stumbled into the cockpit.

Visser Three was still alive.

I'd embraced my son again, and touched tails with Lortif. We'd ran them through the Gleet Biofilters to check they were not infested, and they'd come back clean. They appeared scared but unharmed. As Alloran lifted _The Jahar _off the ground with all of us assembled uncomfortably in the main cockpit I listened in a daze to the arisths as they told Medrar about their adventures. Visser Three had fitted all of his Bug Fighters with tracking beacons, which were activated the instant one was unaccounted for. An unusual precaution, but one the Visser had adopted because of his problems with the Andalite bandits. Alloran had been unable to warn us until it was too late – by the time he had told Arbat they'd already received the transmission from Visser Three. The arisths had been involved in a brief fire fight with the Blade Ship, before a hole was torn in the side of the fighter. As it tumbled to the ground the Blade Ship had snagged it in a tractor beam, zipping it up into a main hanger. A Bug Fighter was a snug fit for two Andalites, designed as it was for a Hork bajir and a Taxxon, and the Visser had simply ordered his Hork Bajir to approach the hole he had torn in the fighter's side and fire on stun. There was nowhere to run and Lortif and Farling didn't have any morphs small enough to hide with. They were knocked out instantly.

Visser Three was still alive.

We flew halfway around the world, travelling through the atmosphere. Cold clouds streaked past the viewing screen, as Alloran piloted us.

_Does everyone have a human morph? _he asked and I nodded silently whilst the others gave confirmation.

_Where are you taking us brother? _Arbat asked tiredly. We were all worn out, all struggling forwards on our very last nerves. I suppose Tirdellan was the most rested, but she just stood in abject misery, probably still upset by Kipsing's death which was, to be brutally honest, her fault. Somehow I had managed to push Kipsing to the back of my mind, to ignore that particular aspect of the horror this journey had turned into. _Alloran's back_, I whispered to myself, but it was not enough.

A shuddering in the ship told us we were descending. _I have always wanted to visit this place on Earth, _Alloran said, replying to Arbat's question. _It is so very unlike our home planet. An archipelago of islands, surrounded by warm seas. They are called the Caribbean Islands, and these ones are more specifically the Windward Islands. _**The Jahar** touched down gently and Alloran stretched. _There is the added advantage of limited human habitation on this particular one compared to the cities in America. But it might be best if we maintain shields, as the Yeerks will no doubt be looking for us and there are indigenous people._

_Shields on at 100%, _Medrar reported quietly. Alloran turned to us, his face calm.

_Although the sun may blaze outside it would be best if we rested. We will consider our position in five hours, assembling here in the cockpit. The immediate area lacks human habitation so you are welcome to explore outside. I ask only that you use the ship's scanners to check for sentient life in the surrounding area before you leave the ship._

_Who died and made him Hak Bajeesh? _Arbat wondered privately to me, but I was too tired to manage a reply. Instead I mentioned something about sleeping and left them, heading for my quarters. I hoped desperately Alloran would not join me, and to my relief he didn't follow.

Visser Three was still alive, and he walked my dreams, a dark malevolent force still bearing my husband's face, still holding my husband in his grasp. I awoke shaking, and feeling unrefreshed two hours later, but it had been enough to allow me to gather some energy back, and I was hungry enough to want to explore the where we had landed. I scanned the immediate area from the empty cockpit and saw that it was almost as private as we could ever have hoped. We were on an island named Grenada, on a volcanic beach with black sand. A road passed along the top of the beach, although the computer reported that in the two hours I had slept only one human car had driven along it.

_Extend visibility shields to a radius of 100m, _I ordered. There was a hum as the computer complied, extending the visibility shields over the road and to the vegetation on the other side. Any humans entering the area would not feel the difference, but they would be briefly invisible. However the cars were sufficiently infrequent that I was willing to believe they would never notice the difference, and I was hungry enough to take the risk. I would have to bear in mind that any humans entering the shielded area would be able to see me, but the ship's main shields would keep it hidden, even from those in the 100m zone. Satisfied with my work I opened the main doors and stepped down onto the volcanic black sand.

The Atlantic ocean roared in, swept onto the beach by far reaching currents, under the brilliant sun. The computer had offered human media reports of hurricanes on this island, and staring out at the foaming sea I could understand why. The air was warm and smelt heavily of the salty ocean, with a strong breeze fanning my face. _It is the Windward Islands after all, _I muttered to myself. The sand beneath my hooves was inedible, but it was strewn here and there with large patches of some sort of vegetation that seemed to have been thrown up by the sea. I trotted over some of them, and although they crackled unnervingly I could feel that they were refreshing me. The vegetation on the other side of the road looked more appetising, and I crossed the strip of tarmac to it. On the edge of a lush jungle of trees were patches of dryish grass, dusty but perfectly edible, and I cantered by the roadside over the grass, enjoying the feeling of the breeze and the sunshine.

A rustle in the jungle brought me up short, but a second later a pair of blue forms emerged and I relaxed to see it was other Andalites. Farling and Lortif were laughing, stumbling out from between the trees, but stopped short when they saw me.

_It is good to see the two of you happy again, _I said, smiling. Farling turned and gestured at the trees.

_Isn't it beautiful, mother! _

_Not much underfoot to eat in there though, _Lortif added. He glanced down and scuffed his hoof across the dry grass. _Give me a lush meadow any day._

_I like it here, _Farling said, a bit defensively. _Besides, we won't be here for long. We'll be going home soon, won't we mother?_

_I certainly hope so, _I replied, keeping my uncertainty of my face. _Now that your father is free there's nothing to keep him here. By the way, have you spoken to him?_

_Yes, _Farling replied. _He took Tirdellan and me into the jungle and talked to us. He told us that he was grateful that we had come for him. He is still with her in there. _My son inclined his head back to indicate the way they had come. My hearts lifted at the thought of our family being knit together again.

_Good. I am glad you had the chance to talk._

_We'll talk more when we go home, I'm sure, _Farling said seriously.

_We'll leave as soon as possible, _I agreed. _There's nothing left for us to do here._

But Visser Three was still alive.

I turned into the forest, hoping vaguely to run into either Tirdellan or Alloran. My hearts beat harder at the thought. I had spent so long missing him, loving him in absentia, wanting him. Would he ever live up to my expectations? Would he be as I hoped or were those niggling doubts which had been spawned by his cool reception thus far correct? What was I to my husband that after reuniting after a fourteen year separation we had not even kissed?

As I pushed through the dense foliage I realised Lortif had been right. My hooves were muffled by a leafy carpet, inedible and soft. I used my tail to clear draping creepers and struck out East, curious to explore this jungle. There seemed to be limited animal life, although the screech of birds filtered down from the green canopy. A splash of dark turquoise caught my attention, and I thought for a second that it was an Andalite, but was quickly undeceived. Squatting on a large rock at knee level off the ground was a small creature, reptilian with the standard Earth compliment of two eyes and four limbs. Its tail lay along the rock to keep it steady, and a spiny crest ran down its back, complimented by another under its chin. Fascinated I reached out with my tail blade to stroke it, in case it was poisonous to the touch, and ran the tip gently over the scaly skin. It extended a clawed arm and batted my blade away. I was still staring as a fly buzzed too close and, quick as a flash, a pink tongue zipped out of the creature, caught the insect and whipped it into its mouth.

_Very impressive, _I told it. _But I prefer grass._

_It's called an iguana, _a voice behind me said, and I turned guiltily, caught off guard with all four eyes staring ahead. Alloran stood under the trees, the dappled green light filtering through the canopy and splashing across his back. He stepped forward and joined me in admiring the iguana. _I don't believe it's dangerous to the touch. _He reached out a gentle finger and stroked the frilled back. _The Visser didn't bother learning much about Earth wildlife though, so I'm not totally sure. _I didn't know what to say, so kept silent. He lifted his head to me. _Does it bother you to hear me mention him? I can avoid it if you want. _

_Alloran, I am more concerned about what bothers you, _I said softly. _You were the one who went through the ordeal, so you have the right to decide what is said and what is not. _He nodded sadly.

_An answer which is totally empty of anything but politeness, Jahar. _He straightened up and turned to me. _I assume you imagined our meeting again differently._

_A little, _I admitted. I risked a smile. _I rather thought there'd be more sex involved. _He laughed at that, unexpectedly, and reached out and stroked my face affectionately. I giggled nervously too, and eagerly returned the kiss. The sensation of being touched tenderly again was shockingly powerful.

_Forgive me love, and I will start this all over again, _Alloran said. He stepped back and executed a formal bow as if just meeting me. _Thank you so much for freeing me, my wife. _His hands flew back to my face, and I reached up and held them there, leaning forwards into him. _Thank you, _he whispered, repeating the words again and again. _You have no idea what it means to see you, to see my family._

_I have missed you for so long, _I breathed, intoxicated by his proximity. He stepped close and laid his head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around his back, holding him tight. _You're safe. You're with me. _

_You came so far. You ran so many dangers, _he whispered. I sighed and squeezed him.

_I love you, you fool. _I felt him relax, the tension dissipating from his body.

_You have no idea what it is to take my own breaths, to feel the wind and run as I want, _he murmured. _You have no idea how much I love you, and how grateful I am. _

We stood there in the jungle long after the iguana had lost interest in us and run off. Somehow it wasn't the moment for breathless passion, and I sensed that I was growing older and softer, we both were, and it was enough just to be together without having to gallop madly and pant exhilarated gasps with each other. I was content just to stand there and breathe in each breath. I smelt his warm male scent, felt his soft fur under my hands as I stroked his face, bathed in the spots of sunshine, and felt immeasurably at peace.

But Visser Three was still alive.

_Shall we explore this jungle? _Alloran asked, after a while. _Humans call this form of vegetation a 'rainforest'. Not very imaginative, but rather apt. _We held hands and pushed through trees and bushes, the air heavy with tropical scents which were not too dissimilar from those of the equatorial regions of our home planet.

_It reminds me of home, _I said quietly.

_You must be looking forward to returning, _Alloran said. _How long has it been since you left? _

_I really don't know, _I said, surprised. _Not too long I think. But I am getting too old for all this travelling and fighting. _I gave him a meaningful look. _We both are. _Alloran stopped and stood there for a minute, his head turned away from me.

_I wasn't planning to discuss this until the meeting, _he said softly. I pulled on his hand gently, as if I could draw him closer to me forever.

_Alloran, come home with me. I came all this way for you._

_Jahar, I am immeasurably grateful for what you have done. You have no idea how much it means to me to actually be glad to be alive again. _He turned to me, his large green eyes shimmering.

_Then come home, _I begged. _We can be a family again. We can be happy._

_Jahar, I am a warrior, _he whispered. _I've seen the horror of what is happening, here on this planet. Now that I am free I can not turn my back on this world. I can not leave it to the fate I have escaped._

_The Andalite bandits are here, _I pleaded. _And the fleet will come. You can't do anything on your own. Nothing but be killed. _I felt like crying.

_I won't be alone, _Alloran said softly. _You and our friends need to go home. This is not your war. I will stay and find the bandits and fight with them._

_It's not your war either! _I shouted, horrified at the prospect of leaving him again, of more years of agonised waiting and not knowing.

_It has been from the beginning, _he replied in a voice of infuriating calm.

_It's not your world then, _I said, still angry.

_Nevertheless, this world needs my help, _he said.

_The world can wait! _I screamed, feeling like the ground was falling away under my feet. _I waited fourteen years!_

_Jahar, please control yourself, _Alloran said awkwardly.

_Fine, _I said, fighting to regain myself. _I'll control myself, and you'll stay here, with Visser Three. _He stiffened as if I'd hit him and I laughed bitterly. _Face it, my love, that's the truth isn't it? Nothing to do with this planet, nothing to do with these people. It's the Visser. He's still got you. And he'll always have you._

_Yes, if that's what you want to hear! _Alloran shouted, and I saw with grim satisfaction that I'd managed to make him lose his temper finally. _I'll stay here because I'd rather have the company of that vile slug than of my own wife. Of course that's the truth!_

_I'm so glad you could finally admit it! _I retorted. He growled something incoherent and suddenly reached and grasped me, pulling him close to me. I could feel his chest heaving. _Get off me, Alloran!_

_Stop fighting me Jahar! _he shouted. _We always fight! I don't understand how I can love you so much yet we always fight._

_Because you would rather stay here on earth than come home with me! _I cried. _I gave up everything to find you Alloran!_

_Could you still love me if I ran? _He asked desperately. _Jahar I am a warrior, I am meant to fight, my place is here._

_I couldn't care less if you ran like a coward, _I hissed. _Then at least I would have a husband. Your obsession with war will be your ruin, Alloran._

_Then perhaps you should have married Arbat in the first place, _he snapped.

I stared at him in horror, appalled at what he had just said. His eyes widened and his hands fluttered, as if somehow he could claw the words back. We stepped back and stared at each other, and I felt like I was unable to breathe.

_Alloran, I love you, _I said finally. _You. No one else. That is why I was so upset that you would not come home._

_I'm sorry, _he said miserably. _I didn't mean what I said. _He hesitated, then sighed. _If it matters so much to you, then of course I will come home with you._

_No, you are right to want to stay here, _I said, equally miserable. I was exhausted from fighting.

_Jahar, we keep battling each other, _Alloran said softly. _Why is it? _I shrugged.

_I don't know, Alloran. _A pause. Silence screaming between us.

_Tell me, my love, have you ever forgiven me for failing you? _he asked finally. The question caught me offguard, and I didn't know what to say. Alloran took my silence as confirmation. _I see, _he said quietly.

_Alloran, it's not..._

_No love. You have suffered more than any other Andalite female, and it is only because of your excellence of character that you have not turned against me before._

_I'm not turning against you now, _I pleaded desperately. _Don't do this again, Alloran!_

_Again? _He seemed genuinely confused.

_You said you'd kill yourself if I asked once. _I was speaking quickly, the words tumbling from my brain. _Don't do this! Don't shoulder the blame and shut me out! I can't lose you again!_

_I'm right here, Jahar._

_No, you're stepping away from me. You're distancing yourself using your duty. Why are you so desperate to flee my side? _I was so very tired from fighting, but as I spoke I knew that this was the reason that we always fought, the reason behind every bitter word I had ever spoken to him. I didn't care for his shame, his disgrace. Compared to what I had faced I'd have happily added five hundred more Hork Bajir to his death toll if only he had come back to me instead of stepping away, of distancing himself.

_Is it not obvious? _Alloran asked wonderingly. _I step away from you Jahar because I am not worthy to stand by your side. I am flawed and I know it. I am stained and I can not bear to contaminate you with myself. _He raised a tentative hand. _When I have completed penance for my crimes, then I can return to you, love. It is all I have ever wanted. _I took his hand and lifted it carefully to my face again, felt his cool fingertips against my burning cheeks.

_Some would consider years of slavery penance enough, Alloran. _His eyes widened as I nuzzled his fingertips. _Please stay with me. I ask because it is what I want._

_The Visser is still a threat, _Alloran said weakly. Inside I sighed, suddenly filled with an urge to slap him. In stories this would have been the perfect moment of reconciliation, and yet he was still concerned about the wretched Yeerk!

_Then we'll destroy him together, Alloran. We'll take him out, and you'll promise to come home. _I fixed him with the expression I used on Tirdellan and Farling to show I was being serious. I saw him waver and then his willpower, battered beyond imagination by years of servitude, crumbled.

_Yes Jahar, _he said meekly, once again in the thrall of another.


	24. Chapter 24

Hooray! MY hard drive finally played ball and released the plot of _The World Can Wait_ back to me. Right before I went on holiday to the deepest darkest back of beyond where no computers thrive... I know this is VERY late, and I am very sorry. Hopefully I'll try and get out a more action-packed chapter soon, but this was an important one because we needed to send Alloran off to his rendezvous with Esplin 9466 at some point...

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Chapter 24

The sun was gleaming the day Alloran was due to return to war. Jahar rose early, but didn't take her customary morning run, snatching only seconds to complete the morning ritual. Any remaining seconds with Alloran were precious. He was awaiting a pick up ship, sent from the Dome ship which was orbiting the homeworld. They hadn't even bothered giving him the exact time when he would be leaving. Even though it was ridiculous, Jahar felt like she could sense the oppressive shadow of the ship, waiting above them, ready to tear her mate from her once again. Still, she resolved to make the most of those last sunny hours, and she coaxed Alloran into leading the children into games of chase over the meadows. They had visited Lake Stilena the day before as a family, but could not stray far from the scoop this day. It would be disastrous if the transport ship arrived, found no one at home and left again. Throughout the morning Jahar could sense Alloran growing tenser, though she did not know if it was through fear or anticipation.

It must have been frightening, preparing to face the entire Andalite fleet as a disgraced War Prince. Warriors who had once leapt at Alloran's commands would now treat him with disdain. Arisths would avoid him and his name would be a curse, his presence a darkness on the ship, sweeping disgrace down the corridors in his wake. They would accept him back for his recognised skill as a warrior, and through their desperation for fighters, but they would never forgive him. He would always be a living reminder of Andalite shame, and Jahar felt terror run through her. The Andalite fleet had ways of dealing with warriors who became awkward or embarrassments. She was very afraid Alloran would be sent on dangerous missions from which there would be limited hope of return. She was even afraid that in his miserable state he might volunteer for them himself.

Still, there was very little she could do except beg him to keep in constant communication with her. For the now there were her meadows, and him galloping powerfully beside her, snaking out his tail to trip Farling's back hoof and win the game of catch as Farling stumbled and sprawled. Farling picked himself up laughing, unbruised as he had been cushioned by the grass, and skipped back, promising to count to twenty as the new chaser. Jahar picked up a slow canter from him, and he caught her moderately easily, although tripping her was more of a challenge. In the end he solved the dilemma by running directly underneath her, and in her concern for trampling him she muddled her legs sufficiently to fall over. The ground was soft, from recent rains, and the grass blooms shook pollen into her face as she went down, causing her to sneeze. As she climbed back to her feet Farling shouted for her to look, and pointed a finger at the sky. Craning upwards Jahar saw a small shape hurtling towards them, growing larger as the distance was closed. Her hearts chilled, and she turned to find Alloran. He had already left them, returning hastily to the scoop, no doubt not wishing to be caught playing frivolous games with his family by the pilot of the transport ship.

_Tirdellan, Farling, come to me, _Jahar called, and they trotted over. Alloran had no doubt communicated with the pilot from inside the scoop, because the small ship didn't land on the inviting field nearest the scoop, which contained a fragile crop of Illsipar roots Jahar had been cultivating for a while, but instead on their second meadow, the engines sending up sprays of pollen as the ship touched down. It was a standard transport ship – large enough for four or five Andalites, with large viewing screens and relatively small engines. It was only ever used for short journeys, between ships in space or ships and planet surfaces, for picking up and disposing of cargo.

In this case the cargo was her husband.

Jahar approached the ship and Alloran left the scoop, followed by a small box hovering at knee level along the ground behind him, containing his personal possessions. Every warrior was allowed to personalise their quarters to a small extent, and Jahar knew Alloran was taking several plants and a hologram of their family, as well as various items which were of interest to him such as dismantled Dracon beams and the Escafil device he had used to give her (and later the children) the illicit morphing power. A door opened in the ship's side and the pilot descended. Jahar could tell from his size that he was most likely an Aristh, sent on the boring task of picking up a disgrace warrior. The Aristh trotted forward to greet Alloran and swept a deferential bow which was clearly not quite low enough for Alloran's liking. Jahar sensed her mate stiffen, a tiny ripple running through his muscular frame, but he said nothing.

_War Prince Alloran, I am Aristh Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul. I was ordered to collect you. _

_Thank you, Aristh Elfangor, _Alloran said formally. He turned back to Jahar and gave her the lightest kiss with his fingertips on her cheek. _Goodbye my love._

_Keep in touch, _Jahar whispered. For some reason she irrationally hated the Aristh Elfangor, standing to the side with a bored expression, sent to tear Alloran away from her and not caring in the least. Alloran nodded to her, and turned to Farling and Tirdellan.

_Be good for your mother, _he told them. They promised, and touched tails with him each.

_When will you be back? _Tirdellan asked.

_One day, not far away, _Alloran said softly. Farling laughed.

_Destroy the Yeerks, father!_

_I intend to, _Alloran replied. _Believe me, my son, I intend to. _He straightened up, executed a bow to Jahar and turned to Elfangor. _Shall we, Aristh? _The smaller Andalite paused, and for a second Jahar weighed him up. He was big for an Aristh, with a large tail blade and fur in an even blue. She decided he looked clumsy for his age, and wondered if he had had a growth spurt recently. He caught her looking at him, and returned a gaze that was slightly curious, regarding her with his large green eyes. She dropped the eye contact, embarrassed by her lack of subtlety.

_I was told to inform you that you may bring your own private ship, as is the privilege of any War Prince, should you wish to, _Aristh Elfangor said. Alloran hesitated, clearly caught by surprise.

_I am extended that honour still? _he asked, his thought speak rendering him painfully vulnerable in its wondering tone.

_The Captain was specific in his instructions for me to tell you that, _Elfangor confirmed. A slight flush of purple crept over his face, and Jahar wondered how excited he must have been to be directly addressed by the captain, to be charged with such a duty as a lowly Aristh. _War is still a game to him, _she thought, and for a second he reminded her of the excitement her own Alloran had displayed for battle so many times. She remembered him showing her proudly around the **_Lightwing_**in its hanger, boasting of its power. A sudden wave of compassion swept over her, for this poor blinded child taking her husband back to the conflict, and she hoped that war did not destroy Elfangor as it had her husband.

_I will take **The** **Jahar**, _Alloran said, decisively. He turned to his wife. _That way I will have a part of you with me in space, love. _Jahar smiled a little and touched her fingertips to his cheek.

_If we return in your ship then I can leave this transport ship with your family until your return, if you wish, _Elfangor said politely. A small wave of relief flicked through Jahar. She'd wondered if Alloran had realised how stranded she and the children would be without a ship to travel the planet with.

_Thank you, Aristh, _Alloran replied gravely. He led Elfangor across two fields to where **The Jahar** sat, and though Jahar herself wanted to follow, to trail after him like a lovesick child, she stayed back by the transport ship with the children, allowing Alloran dignity in his farewell. He turned in the doorway the morning sunlight haloing off his soft fur, his distant expression unreadable. She raised her hand in farewell and Alloran mirrored the gesture, his many fingers curling open to her. Then he turned into the ship and was gone, swallowed by the metal.

They watched silently as the ship powered up and lifted off. Jahar felt as if Alloran was being physically torn from her, with the wind blowing pollen between them in the widening gap, but she smiled and bathed her children in a calm sense of acceptance she did not share. The children bored of watching even before the ship was out of sight, and skipped away, playing in the waving grass.

_Mother, can we play Conquest? _Tirdellan asked. Jahar forced a smile, denying the sadness of Jahar the lover and projecting the serenity of Jahar the mother.

_Why not, Tirdellan? _A three player game would be perfect now, and for the many, many days to come.

Inside the scoop Tirdellan powered up the Conquest holograms, and she and Farling flicked their fingers swiftly over the landscapes sprawling beneath them, placing their warriors and defences. _I see I'm third player again, _Jahar sighed playfully. Conquest was a three player game, but they were not equal. The first and the second were powerful forces, with great armies, but the third player was always far weaker. Farling and Tirdellan as children always chose to be the powerful primary players, but the weaker player was secretly Jahar's favourite position. Although the third player could be easily destroyed by either of the primary players, without its help then they would struggle to defeat each other, as both were too powerful. The third player was there to be courted, to be enticed to a side, to be bribed whilst the two main players battled. Often one primary player would destroy the other with the third player's help, only to find that during the game the third player had built himself into a formidable adversary to defeat in his own right. The balancing of the players was one area where Tirdellan far outstripped Farling, and invariably he would resort to picking on the third player if the tide turned against him, or focusing too closely on the primary opponent if the game went his way.

Jahar splayed her fingertips, spreading her players over a narrow valley of woodland and well watered meadows. It was astonishingly like real life, Conquest. The strong preyed on each other, and sometimes the weak emerged quietly triumphant, but too often they were crushed in the clash of the titans, the breath squeezed from their lungs. She wondered idly if the mystical beings of Andalite myth ever played Conquest, if Crayak and the Ellimist ever sat down to a game of warring civilisations. That was the idea behind the game, wasn't it, that all-powerful beings could direct the lives of the players and there was nothing they could do, nothing Alloran could have done, to resist elevation or prevent disaster.

Of course, to truly play Conquest, the Ellimist and Crayak would need a third player.

* * *

"Shall we resume play?"


	25. Chapter 25

Hello all! Here is the new chapter - set in the present, and we're steaming on towards the conclusion (I hope!). Enjoy reading :D Also, I'm afraid I'm not sure there will be more past chapters - since Alloran has left and for Jahar her past has sort of ended. I might try one more to explain that better, but I'm not sure.

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Chapter 25

_The first question must be, does Visser Three expect an attempt on his life? _Arbat asked. We were back on _The Starwave_, which we had hidden in a crater on the human moon. Barely a mile away was an American flag stuck proudly into the barren crust, marking where humans had so recently found their space wings. I thought back to our home planet, where trips to the moons were used as family days out. They still had a long way to come, this backwards race.

_The Visser knows me extremely well, _Alloran said, slightly awkwardly. I could hardly blame him for being uncomfortable about his relationship with the Visser – it was as if he had had some sort of sordid affair with a spy and inadvertently let slip important information. He couldn't help the fact that he had revealed himself so completely, but it was damaging none the less. _He knows I can not rest whilst he still lives. His evil must be stopped._

_This is not the mission we came to accomplish, _I said softly, turning to the Arisths and my daughter. _You younger ones have already run risks and have completed what you set out to do. I will not force any of you to come with us._ Without seeming to realise it,Lortif glanced automatically at my son to see what his choice would be.

_I will fight with my father, _Farling said proudly.

_And I with Farling, _Lortif said promptly. Medrar gave his soft, lazy smile.

_My glorious brother always accuses me of not being adventurous enough. I shall come with you._

_Mother, _Tirdellan began, but I already sensed what she was going to say and cut in.

_Tirdellan, you are still grieving for Kipsing. In the interests of the safety of all of us I am going to bar you from this mission. _

_Thank you, _she whispered back.

_So we all go except for Tirdellan, who pilots the ship again, _Alloran said. He smiled with his large green eyes. _I thank you all for your assistance, friends. _

_How do we get near the Visser? _Arbat asked. I turned to my mate.

_You know all the details of the Blade Ship and Yeerk Pool. Can you think of a way in? _Arbat didn't give Alloran a chance to answer though, cutting in.

_He won't know how to get close, Jahar. Any weak points he would have noticed in either of those two places the Visser would have seen too, and would have dealt with accordingly. _Alloran flushed slightly at his brother's uncharacteristically rude interruption, but gave a half shrug.

_I believe you are correct, Arbat. Although I may still be of use, since I have extensive knowledge of the security arrangements guarding the Visser which I could share. That is, if I may be permitted to speak... _Arbat twitched almost imperceptibly, but bowed his head and gestured for Alloran to continue. The two of them were like a pair of tuning forks, tingling with tension. It made me sad to see them this way when I had so many memories from half a lifetime ago of them galloping together under the skies at home, laughing and racing.

Before I came along.

I pushed the thoughts from my mind and focussed on what Alloran was saying.

_The Blade Ship will be difficult to infiltrate. It is protected with multiple security codes and of course all docking Bug Fighters are scanned for the correct number of life forms. The Blade Ship almost never touches the ground – all required supplies are carried to it by transport ships which pass through a network of Gleet Biofilters when docking. _

_Are the Gleet Biofilters programmed to recognised generic species DNA or person-specific DNA? _Tirdellan asked suddenly. Alloran swung around to confront the interruption and she quailed ever so slightly. In the military he would never have been interrupted, particularly not by a female. _I just wondered, _she continued, _if it had to be a certain pilot docking the transport ships of if any human or Hork Bajir or Taxxon would do. _Alloran relaxed his glare.

_Do you know, I believe it only recognises the species? After all, there's such a turnaround of subordinates under the Visser that they'd be forever having to reprogramme the Biofilters if they only recognised person-specific DNA._

_So if we hijack one of these transports we can fly it, as long as we were morphed into the correct species? _Arbat asked. Alloran shrugged.

_Well, in theory yes. They are four person ships, which is a difficulty as there are six of us. Also, they fly in pairs, which is another difficulty as we will not be easily able to hijack one ship without the second one noticing._

_So we take both, _I said, excitement creeping into my voice. _Three of us in each ship, with one unconscious controller to balance the readings for the Gleet Biofilters._

_It could possibly be done, _Alloran said dubiously. _The ships' flight time is recorded, though, and any major anomalies will raise alarms. It's usually around a forty seven minute flight and anything significantly longer would cause questions._

_By 'significantly longer' what do you mean? _Arbat quizzed. Alloran shrugged.

_The Visser didn't bother himself with such small details, so I'm not really sure. I should imagine if a ship were anything more than fifteen minutes late questions would be asked._

_So we move fast, _I said. _But it can be done? _

_If we were able to immobilise the crew without leaving any signs on the ships of a hijacking, then I suppose it is a possibility, _he replied.

_How about a stun ray? _Medrar asked. _The Yeerks use them all the time on small ships they come across in space. Will the transport ships have sufficient shielding to protect themselves?_

_They would, _Alloran said. He suddenly smiled, a flash of gold in his vibrant eyes. _But if they still use the same radio frequencies then I can perhaps persuade them to lower those shields._

_And once we're on the Blade Ship in morph we track down the Visser together and plan accordingly, _I finished. Thrills were leaping through me, at the thought that we were taking the final step towards the journey home. Soon we would be leaving this poor planet, this Earth forever. _Leaving it to its fate, _a voice whispered in my brain, but I pushed it away fiercely. Earth was not, and never had been, my responsibility. The human race could fend for itself until the fleet came.

We hovered, cloaked, ten miles up in the atmosphere, and watched as a car park below us cracked open and belched forth the two medium sized transport ships. They were cloaked and shielded to human radar and Andalite visual screens, but the supplies they carried included chemicals used in cleaning the Blade Ships engines which gave off a distinctive radiation, and we were able to track them using an X-Ray sounding. As soon as the ships were five miles off the ground, and the action was still shielded from eyes above by a thick layer of clouds on all sides, we uncloaked and moved in. Frantically Medrar's fingers skipped over a keyboard, and he sighed with relief a second later.

_Hologram successfully projected. _To the transport ships we would now appear on their viewing screens as a Yeerk Patrol ship.

Breathing hard, Alloran activated the ship's communications systems with his human hands, keying in the transmission frequency the Yeerks used, and then spoke in a clipped voice. "Transport ships B641 and D127 this is Patrol ship D594. Request confirmation of identity." The reply was instantaneous.

"This is transport ships B641 and B372. Ship D127 was decommissioned two days ago due to engine problems." The human voice was almost toneless, but then the speaker gave a cold snort. "Try keeping up to date, D594." Alloran flared his nostrils slightly, but it was clear he had not overly worried the controllers with his mistake.

"I request that you suspend momentum immediately and lower shields, B641 and B372," he said calmly. "We are picking up unusual readings on both of you – you may have contacted some human atmospheric contaminant."

"Negative, flight is not impaired and our own computers show no such readings," the reply came. Alloran ground his human teeth.

"Look, I don't care what your computers say. Ours are picking up readings, and I demand that you halt immediately and lower shields." _Arbat, morph Hork Bajir now, _he hissed. Without asking why Arbat immediately began the morph.

"Who is this?" the controller on the other end asked suspiciously. "On whose authority do you request a transport ship to halt?" Arbat, now fully Hork Bajir, lumbered towards the communications panel. I could hear a soft whispering, like rustling leaves, as Alloran used his quietest thought speak to tell his brother what to say.

"This is Sub Visser 18, of the Fulton Nar Pool. What idiot am I talking to?"

"Sub Visser! I had no idea you were patrolling today," the controller gasped. I could hear a touch of fear in his voice.

"Identify yourself, fool!" Arbat snarled.

"This is Nildin 629, Sub Visser," the controller oiled. "I will comply with your orders immediately."

"Good. Now power down, halt momentum and lower shields," Arbat growled. "We will run a swift sweep and then you can be on your way. Understood?"

"Yes Sub-Visser." Instantly the two transport ships uncloaked and we could see them on our viewing screens. A pair of large black pods – not particularly aerodynamic, but spacious and suited to carrying large cargoes over short distances. Tendrils of clouds trailed over the short stubby wings as the red glow of the rear engines dimmed and the ships slowed and halted. They hovered below us as we swept in like a predatory bird, Lortif at the controls. He brought us to a gentle halt three metres above the two waiting transport ships.

_Activating Stun Ray, _Medrar reported. On our viewing screens there was a blinding green flash of light, and then Medrar's fingers danced and he caught in our tractor beams both the now crewless ships as they dipped back towards the ground.

_Moving in, _Lortif reported. We slid down the length of our tractor beams, shortening the distance between us and the ships. We couldn't risk getting too close in case trace evidence of _The Starwave_ somehow transferred itself to their hulls. Anything that could set off security checks on the transport ships had to be avoided. Lortif halted us about a metre above the ships and smiled weakly. _That's the closest I dare get. _Tirdellan stepped forwards and accepted the controls from him, and I reached out and touched my tail gently to hers.

_Stay out of sight. We'll be in touch. _I had given her a relatively obscure radio frequency to leave the communications centre running on earlier, and when we needed to we would contact her on that. The Arisths had already left the main cockpit, and now Alloran and Arbat, both back in their Andalite forms again, followed them. I touched Tirdellan's face in the gentlest goodbye kiss.

_Good luck Mother, _she whispered. I laughed.

_This was your idea, Tirdellan. I'm hoping we won't need luck._ She paled slightly, and I realised that without meaning to I had laid the blame squarely on her shoulders should anything go wrong. Feeling guilty I gave her a final smile and turned to follow the others.

In the belly of _The Starwave_ we opened a hatch, so that down below us hung the transport ships, swaying slightly in the tractor beam's grip. Below them were thick clouds, looking deceptively solid. I was glad they were there, obscuring the ground. If I could have seen how far up we actually were I would never have been able to do what I did then. One by one we approached that gap. Alloran went first, the cold wind tearing at him, daring him to leap out and play with it.

_It's a long way down if you miss, _he said softly. _I hope everyone has a morph which can fly, or you'll have a lot of time to wish you'd bothered to get one. _Without glancing back he aimed and didn't so much jump out of the hatch as drop abruptly through it. Of course, one metre is only really a short drop to an Andalite, and he landed easily enough, absorbing the shock through his legs and finding his footing. He staggered slightly and I almost cried out. _Be careful. The wind is very strong. It pushes you left, so compensate for that._

Arbat went next, leaping down and stumbling on the metal deck of the transport ship. Alloran reached out and grasped his hand and he righted himself. Once he was steady Arbat knelt down and reached down over the lip of the roof of the transport ship, searching for the keypad which controlled all the ship's hatches. Of course it wouldn't be on the roof – when were Yeerks ever expecting to be abseiling down onto their ships and entering them from above? Farling went next, landing easily, and then Arbat gave an exclamation of success and a hatch in the centre of the roof yawned open.

_Tirdellan, alternate ships in the tractor beam, _I ordered. We waited a minute, and then beneath us the ship that Alloran, Arbat and Farling were on slid to the right and the other one came to be positioned beneath us. I went first, followed by Medrar and Lortif. Medrar found the keypad to open our own roof hatch, and we dropped one at a time into the ship. The crew were all in the small main cockpit, four of them slumped over the floor. We acquired one of them each so as to be able to pass ourselves off easily to the controllers at the other end, and then after we had morphed and taken their clothing used Dracon beams to vaporize the ones we had acquired. The fourth controller remained on the floor, to provide us with the correct number of occupants for the Gleet Bio Filters. As I watched, the other ship disengaged itself from the tractor beam and started pulling away. Lortif opened communications with Tirdellan and she dropped us too. I reactivated the Transport ship's shields and autopilot and we drew away from _The Starwave, _following Alloran's ship.

_Good luck, _Tirdellan whispered over the com. The whole operation had taken ten minutes.

The rest of the flight passed swiftly enough. We rose up through the atmosphere, passing into space. Forty one minutes after we had left Tirdellan the axe-shaped Blade Ship hove into view on our visual screens, its darkness acting like a black hole and sucking the very life from us. A black void in space, blotting out our view of the stars as it slid between them and us. I felt my hearts beating hollowly, as if in a cold and empty chest.

_Nasty thing, isn't it? _I whispered to Medrar and Lortif.

_It certainly does a good job at being intimidating, _Lortif replied. I turned to Medrar, to find him crouched by the surviving controller, who was just reviving. The Yeerk blinked his host's eyes groggily.

"What happened?"

"Those idiots in the Patrol ship," Medrar sniffed. "You remember? Used the wrong scanning beams. You were knocked out." The controller nodded, accepting what Medrar said. And why shouldn't he have? As far as he was concerned, the three creatures standing in the cockpit with him were exactly the same as the ones he had set out on the journey with. He glanced at the viewing screen and his eyes widened.

"By the great pool, we're arriving! I must have been out for a time. Why didn't you rouse me?"

"We tried," I grunted. He didn't ask further questions, but stood and reached into a small locker at the back of the cockpit, extracting a small white box with a red cross on it. Under our curious eyes he opened it and extracted a small container, which he opened, removing a sheet of pills. He pressed out two of the pills and swallowed them, then turned to us. "Any of you got a headache like mine?"

_They must be painkillers specially formulated for humans,_ I whispered, as we all shook our heads. The controller pointed at the screen.

"Ah, we're coming up to the filters. Stupid waste of time." As we drew nearer to the dark Blade Ship I saw projecting from its surface a series of metal arches with blue lights glowing within their framework. They were large enough for a small ship to fly through and we were clearly aiming for them. Beyond them a hanger gaped in the side of the Blade Ship like a strangely bright wound. The autopilot took us behind Alloran's ship, flying through the arched filters, and taking us gently into the hanger. We touched down very lightly, and the controller started towards the door. He turned towards us as we stood, frozen slightly by nerves.

"You guys coming or not? I haven't fed for two and a half days, and I'm feeling wretchedly hungry."

"Yes of course," I replied, leading Lortif and Medrar with me. The controller gave us a weird look.

"You sure that beam didn't do something to you guys as well?" We all sort of shrugged in human gestures of ignorance as he opened the main hatch and we stepped out into the busy hanger. Taxxons were already approaching the ship and attaching pipes to its holding tanks, drawing off its cargo. Around us ten or so Bug Fighters were parked in their holding cradles, energy ropes slung under their bellies, pipes dangling from them like grotesque umbilical cords as they reloaded coolant and other liquids. As I watched, three humans stepped from the other Transport ship, carrying a fourth one in their arms. A human with a clipboard hurried over, and I heard him demanding what had happened. The unconscious Yeerk was laid on the ground, the clipboard fobbed off with some explanation. A small buggy came zipping across the hanger, weaving around Hork Bajir who had started unloading the solid cargo from the transport ships and placing it on hovering containers which would carry it around the Blade Ship. The unconscious controller was loaded into the buggy, and our friend the other controller jumped up with him, the hungry Yeerk cadging a lift towards the pool areas.

Trying to look inconspicuous I edged towards the other three.

"What did you say?"

"Control panel malfunction," one of the others said. "He was stunned by a random electric shock." He looked me up and down. "Jahar I presume?" I smiled thinly.

"Arbat." He laughed and nodded. _What a pity, _he teased privately. _I was going to pretend to be Alloran. _

_Not the time, _I hissed back, fighting a smile. We spent a minute identifying ourselves to each other, and then set off, following Alloran, across the hanger and to a corridor which opened off it. Alloran zigzagged down various corridors purposefully, knowing his way intimately around this metal maze. We trotted behind as he led us past Hork Bajir and humans, and Taxxons which slimed their way underfoot. Always I kept my eyes wide open for the human we had seen in the woods. If I closed my eyes for a second I could picture Visser Three's new host – a slim human female with black hair pulled back. I didn't know humanity well enough yet to know if she was beautiful or not, but she'd seemed whole and healthy, which I'm sure had been the Visser's main requirements when he chose his new host.

Alloran pulled an abrupt right and we dodged down a smaller passageway which ended in a closed doorway and a glowing control panel. Alloran's fingers danced over it, and then he laughed lightly.

"Brilliant. He's kept the same sequence for determining the passcodes. It would take an outsider days to crack it, but for me..." He jabbed some keys and the door swished open mechanically, revealing a small room containing banks of viewing monitors.

_Security room, _Alloran hissed in our minds. Two bored humans were lounging in front of the monitors and turned in surprise to greet the six of us.

"What do you want?" one of them demanded.

"This room," Alloran replied coldly. In an instant he and Arbat whipped out Dracon beams and stunned the controllers before they could protest. Behind us the security door slid shut again with a soft whine, giving a horrible claustrophobic sensation of being locked in. Alloran approached the monitors quickly, kicking the controllers out of their chairs and settling into one. To my surprise Medrar took the other, pulling the keyboard for the computers on the desk towards him.

"Can you ascertain if the Visser is actually onboard?" Alloran asked.

_Or if this whole trip was a waste of time, _Arbat sniggered in my mind.

_Quiet! _I hissed. I was too tense to deal with Arbat being gently rebellious.

"He's here!" Medrar said excitedly. "And he's working in his quarters!"

"Can you get me visuals?" Arbat demanded. Medrar tapped a few keys but Alloran raised a hand.

"Don't bother. The Visser doesn't have cameras in his inner sanctum. He won't have just anyone seeing what he's doing." It made sense.

"So, what's the plan, Hak Bajeesh?" Arbat asked, turning to me. I faltered. The dark room with its glowing screens was never made for six people and it was horribly oppressive. I had a strange sensation of drowning, as if the monitors were the bright surface miles above me.

"Can anyone just barge into the Visser's quarters?" I asked. Alloran thought and then smiled.

"Actually they can. The Visser relies on fear, not locks."

"So, say three or four Hork Bajir leapt into his quarters. With his human host it wouldn't be hard to disarm and secure him?"

"Not at all hard," Alloran said softly. "Nice plan, Jahar."


	26. Chapter 26

Hello! Here we have it then, the last chapter from Jahar's past. This one was very difficult to handle - please let me know what you think! And it is dedicated to those of you who have reviewed so faithfully - thank you :)

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Chapter 26

_I greet the suns that bless my family, their rays watching over my children and warming my husband in the darkness,_ Jahar intoned, taking her time to go through the morning ritual. She yawned as she drank the first water of the morning, and noted tiredly that there was really very little sun to be greeted. Threatening purple clouds obscured the heavens, and the wind carried the cold tang of earth and rain, the scent of wet grass blowing into her nostrils. She only ran a short way, as the incipient storm somehow minimised her appetite, and trotted back to the scoop. Farling was unusually quiet, resting with a mild illness which gave him headaches and sapped his energy. Jahar checked his temperature and then sent him out for his breakfast. He trotted slowly, raising a hand to his temples and complaining that the thundering of his own hooves would make his head fall off.

_I doubt it, _Jahar said. She shooed Tirdellan out after him for a morning run, and her daughter capered far more energetically, leaving Farling far behind. Yawning again, Jahar turned to her main computer and checked her messages. _Four new messages_, the computer intoned, and alittle thrill of excitement shook her as she opened the first one. More orders for her artwork scrawled across the screen, and she felt a surge of pride as she read the words.

**Having heard of your new talent... evaluating your work and finding it very innovative... order seven items... **

Jahar's hearts skipped. It had been her mother who had suggested she fill her time by professionally producing her own artwork. Her mother was already a successful artist, and so had been able to introduce her daughter to the contacts necessary to be noticed. Now hardly a day went by without messages filling her screen spilling admiration for her work and pleas for personal samples to be placed in scoops far away, glowing and beautiful. Jahar specialised in moving holographic displays, geometric patterns and swirls which undulated gently in a corner or on a work surface, the soft lights designed to simulate calm and peace within watchers.

More awake now, Jahar read through the messages: three orders for her art and one reminder to service the transport ship she'd been left with after Alloran took _The Jahar. _She filed the reminder and the orders separately, gave Farling some painkillers as he stepped gingerly back into the scoop and settled him down with some gentle audio displays which would not tax him. Both her children were old enough now to have entered the Andalite education system, and although Farling was staying at home today with her, Tirdellan left for her classes shortly after her morning run.

At peace, Jahar settled down to her project of the day. She felt a little guilty working on a private piece with so many commissions piling up in her files, but this particular effort was intended as a gift for a cousin who had only recently returned from an exploratory trip which had begun long before the war with the Yeerks had, before she'd even met Alloran, and she wanted something to give him when they met after such a time. Frowning in concentration, she drew a pointer through the air and obedient silvery lines trailed in its wake as the sculpture grew and took form beneath her fingers. Such was her concentration that she was unaware of the passing of half the day, until her computer beeped to tell her that she'd received another new message. Putting down the pointer Jahar massaged her fingers ruefully – they were settling into a cramp from holding the delicate instrument so long.

_Show message full screen, _she ordered, and the computer obeyed. Confused, Jahar read through the short missive at least twice. It was a summons by War Prince Gamaron Ferdiss Cadar to the nearest military base, to discuss '**such things as can not be communicated in any way but personally'**_. _A strange fear curled in her chest as she reread the words. She'd never heard of such a summons for a female with no military rank or role in the least. Her instinctive thought was that Alloran was dead, surely, but then High Command were notoriously poor at confirming deaths. And anyway, a simple report was all she would ever have expected from that.

This was a summons.

A personal meeting.

What had he done? She hated herself for thinking it, but the words wouldn't stop swirling around her head. _What had Alloran done now?_

As she struggled to rein in her panicked, mad suppositions, a link at the bottom of the message caught her attention, and she ordered her computer to open it. Instantly a strangely familiar Andalite face filled her screen, indicating that she'd opened visual communications with the sender of the message.

_You are Jahar __Nyleria Teldon? _the Andalite demanded. Somehow she found an answer.

_I am. Are you War Prince Gamaron?_

_I am Lieutenant Tarryan, War Prince Gamaron's second in command. _With a jolt of recognition Jahar realised where she'd seen him before. He'd been there that day she'd visited Alloran and _The Lightwing _in its hanger.

_For what purpose have I been requested to attend an interview with War Prince Gamaron? _she inquired.

_You are commanded to attend this interview for reasons which can not be specified over a visual communication, _Tarryan replied, and Jahar trembled at the word 'commanded'. What could have happened? _Are you able to respond immediately?_

Her son was sick. She shouldn't leave him.

But if something had happened to Alloran...

_I am, _she replied, her thought speak steady through effort.

_Excellent, _Tarryan replied. _I will dispatch a transport ship immediately to collect you._

Farling didn't protest much at being left alone. He hadn't the energy to get himself into trouble, and his temperature was lowering so Jahar felt that he would not be in any danger in her absence. As a precaution she took a small communications unit which she wore on a belt around the junction between her upright upper torso and her horizontal lower body. If he needed her he could call, but it seemed that all he was likely to do was sleep. She ensured that there was plenty of water in a container near him, so that he could remain hydrated without walking far.

The little transport ship didn't take long arriving, and Jahar stepped apprehensively into it. The pilot didn't speak to her, but instead lifted off swiftly and spent the short journey in silence, gazing ahead at the horizon. On the visual screen, the military base they were heading for glided closer, at first a shining silver gleam in the distance and then a growing bubble with cliffs rearing at its back, sparkling waterfalls cascading on either side of it. It sat in front of the steeps cliffs, on an island between two rivers, or two halves of the same great river, Jahar couldn't be sure, the floodplain of the rivers stretching out in front of it, the grasses (blue-green here) rich and long. When the ship had landed on an open landing pad and Jahar stepped out, she found her nostrils filled with the fertile smell of earth and vegetation and above all water, in the rivers, in the grasses, in the clouds hanging overhead.

Lieutenant Tarryan was waiting for her on the landing pad, and he led her, also without speaking, through the open areas of the military base to the central command dome, the great shining bubble placed in the middle of the base. He keyed in a code, and the doors opened for them. Jahar followed him, passing into an interior of interconnected open courts with closed rooms at the corners. The courts were full of Andalites hurrying to and fro: swaggering warriors with shredders, quieter technicians (some females with their toolboxes as well as smaller males), a Captain who walked by leaving ripples of awed silence in his wake. The soaring dome overhead helped dispel the feeling of claustrophobia, and the grass underfoot was short and hardy, specially designed to survive the many, many hooves traversing it every day. She tasted it and pulled a face. It certainly hadn't been chosen for its edibility. Tarryan led her through courtyards and wide passages towards the centre of dome, taking a sharp left suddenly and stopping in front of a door like all the others.

_War Prince Gamaron will see you alone. _He executed a small bow to her and turned to go. For a very brief second their eyes met, and Jahar was shaken by the look of pity in the other's green depths. What horror awaited her in this room? Steeling herself, she pressed her hand to the entry panel, and the door slid open with a soft hiss. She hesitated on the threshold, and then a male's voice said, _Come! _the word snapped out like the crack of a tail, and she entered the room, lit by the glow of the consoles that ringed its exterior and dim because of the dark clouds crowding above the domed ceiling.

War Prince Gamaron stood in the centre of the room, waiting for her, and Jahar was momentarily stunned, forgetting her purpose for coming here, forgetting everything. He was a medium sized male, with a lovely high lift to his tail, and there was no way she could have put her finger on what it was about him that stopped her, except that he simply _exuded _it. Some pheromone rolled off him in powerful waves, heady and very tangible, so that his beautiful golden-green eyes were absolutely hypnotic, the muscles visible beneath the thin blue fur riveted her and every movement he made, the way he shifted his smooth shoulders, the curves of his throat as he turned his head to her, was simply...

Jahar exhaled and realised that she had been holding her breath. War Prince Gamaron took a step forward and she instantly took a corresponding step back because it felt indecent to be so close to something so... exhilarating? Was that the word? Her hearts were hammering harder against her will, her blood racing. For a second she fancied he could have told her that the entire fleet was lost in a black hole, and she's have just stood there dumbly drinking in his golden eyes, his features, the curve to his haunches.

Then he spoke, and the spell broke.

_I am sorry to have inconvenienced you by summoning you so cryptically and disturbing your peace, _Gamaron said, and Jahar offered a fleeting thanks to whatever being watched over her, for his voice grated and its harsh sound meant that she could tear her eyes away from him and recover her wits.

_It is no inconvenience, _she lied dutifully, and he tilted his head, a movement which sent little wobbles to her knees. It _had _been an awfully long time since she last saw Alloran. Fortunately his rough voice again knocked reality back into her.

_Jahar, I am very sorry to be the bearer of distressing news of your husband. _**That** stopped her admiring his well-formed shoulders, like a sharp slap across the face. Somewhere in the universe something had happened to Alloran, and here she was, panting over the messenger. Fear filtered through Jahar's chest and guilt too, like cold oil sticking to her hearts.

_Alloran is dead? _she whispered, and for a second relief flooded her when his lovely eyes gave a negative. But fear returned, burning, demanding. If not dead then why did War Prince Gamaron look so pitying?

_We have received intelligence that War Prince Alloran was sent on a small mission to return two sentient life forms to their planet, _Gamaron continued. _For some reason he diverted his ship from the mission's schedule and landed on a Yeerk controlled planet. And there he was..._

_What?_

_Taken. _Gamaron's face told the rest of the terrible story. Jahar said nothing, stood still, said not a word, felt nothing, didn't tremble, just stood there. Gamaron waited for a reaction, then softly, _I am so very sorry. It is unthinkable that this Abomination should have been allowed to come into existence._

_Is that what they call him now? _Jahar asked, her tone level, breath shallow. _The Abomination? _Gamaron shifted his hands helplessly, a rare sight to see: a War Prince at a loss. _Why were __**you**__ ordered to tell me this? _Jahar asked. _Why did it have to be in person? Why not a message? It will be common news soon enough. _His raw appeal felt like cold clammy weed flung in her face now. _Was it for your manner with civilians? _she sneered. By all rights War Prince Gamaron would have been justified in physically disciplining her for her tone, but he did not rise to it.

_We need to know what Alloran knows, _he said calmly. _What his slave master now knows._

_He knows how to make me forget everything, _Jahar said softly. _And how to stop time and how to make a moment last forever. _Gamaron's expression softened momentarily, but then he seemed to stiffen his resolve.

_Jahar, did he know anything about our military arrangements which we are not aware of? Did he take a particular interest in any new inventions? Anything important?_

_He knows when my daughter pretends to trip over, for sympathy, and when my son is tired but won't say. He knows me_, Jahar said quietly_. Not things __**you**__ would consider important, I am sure, but important none the less. _She looked up, through the domed ceiling to the looming purple clouds. _Under the stars he knew how to make the world wait, just for us. _Gamaron shifted and made an uncomfortable sound, and Jahar turned to face him with contempt. _You and your commanders knew Alloran as a warrior. You know what military knowledge he has. I can only tell you what he knew as a husband, and I doubt it'll be of any interest, to you or to the Yeerks. But it matters._

_I never said it didn't, _War Prince Gamaron said gently. _And I thank you for your time. _He waved her towards the door. _Once again, I am sorry for your loss. _Jahar blinked, as though surprised.

_My loss? _she echoed. _But, you said yourself, he's not dead. _She fought back an inappropriate, hysterical giggle. She stepped from the room, out of the gloom, back into the brightness of the open courts beneath the dome. Tarryan was waiting for her, his eyes soft with sympathy. She wasn't a leper yet – that was to come later. For now she was just to be pitied, as she walked back through the dome to the transport ship waiting for her, silent and bowed under the weight of the choking horror she carried with her. Into the ship, with the silent pilot, and her just as quiet, and across the grasslands and through the first light rain showers, and then down in her fields and out she stepped into the rain, and saw the entrance to her scoop, warm and welcoming, and knew she couldn't go in, not yet, so stood in the rain and watched as the ship lifted off and vanished into the dark veil of water.

She's shivering although it's not cold, Jahar is, but she's also numb, a terrible emptiness in her. Poor baby, she thought she'd seen the worst war could do to her, to Alloran. She now knows she was foolish to think she had known horror earlier. I feel her pain, standing there in the rain, staring wistfully out at the gloom as if searching for an answer. She's just so stunned, like she can't believe this could happen to me.

To her, to me, I, her, she, me.

That's me in the rain, the beginning of me, the beginning of what I am, that empty vessel that was once happy and loving and hopeful but has been crushed by the inexorable grind.

Now all is futility.

Goodbye Jahar. Goodbye wife of War Prince Alloran, who was once young and lovely and happy.

You win world. You win Ellimist. You win and I give up.


	27. Chapter 27

Eep, I'm almost scared to post this one cos I don't know how people are going to react to it! I hope you like it! On the plus side, only a few more chapters until we wrap up :)

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Chapter 27

_He's so near, _Alloran crooned. _I can see him, touch him, smell him... taste him._

_With what, my darling? _I hissed. _You have no teeth. _He jumped like a guilty colt, and I knew we weren't meant to have heard his lullaby, his inner fantasies stored through all those years of captivity. He should not have voiced them to us, was unconsciously doing it perhaps from so many years of having every word the Visser spoke through him bawled out to batter the minds of his subordinates. Had Alloran forgotten how to whisper?

He was leading us through the Blade ship, a gaggle of six humans looking perfectly normal, wending our way through the passing Yeerks like we owned the place. A short while ago one of us did. My human pulse was astonishingly loud for just one heart, blood hammering in my ears. For some reason my mouth was dry – it was difficult to do the human trick called 'swallowing', and that was uncomfortable. Our feet beat out a tattoo on the metal deck, so deafening I was sure the Visser could hear us coming, hear the intent in our drumming footsteps, the arisths shaking with excitement as they pushed ahead, following my swift mate as he hurtled towards destiny, picking up the pace, fighting not to run.

_Slow down, _Arbat snarled. _We are all but racing! This will not do – it draws attention. And Jahar, you have gone white. _I shot him an angry look, and commented that he himself did not appear so calm and composed. A thin sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead, his human hair sticking damply to it. He followed my eyeline and raised a hand to his brow, swearing softly when he brought it away. _We must all remain calm! _he snapped. I caught curious Yeerk eyes on us, and Arbat raised a hand.

"Late for a feed," he explained loudly, smiling disarmingly, and the Yeerks turned away, satisfied. I almost laughed then, catching Farling and Lortif's hollow eyed expressions. If this was what hungry Yeerks looked like then their vile race was truly cursed. However, somehow we managed to avoid confrontation from suspicious controllers and negotiated our way through the nexus within the Blade ship, following Alloran. I knew he would want to be the one to kill the Visser, but I was unsure whether I should allow that to happen. Would it be almost too much like killing a part of himself?

_More like excising a cancer, _Arbat whispered in my mind, and I jumped. Alloran gave me a curious look and paused for a precious second, shaking with the effort of delaying the confrontation.

_Jahar? Is all well? _

_Yes, _I replied shakily, and he turned away, impatient to get on. _You heard me? _I gasped to Arbat.

_Perhaps you subconsciously directed that thought to me, _he replied gently. _I do not think anyone else heard. _As we walked on he stepped closer to me, and for a second our fingertips brushed. His were warm to the touch. _I am here for you through this, Jahar, _he said softly. _For I do not think Alloran will be. He is not able to be your husband at this moment._

_And you are? _I snorted angrily. For a second his face contorted into something unreadable.

_Ah, that is in your hands, my darling. _I deliberately stepped away from him, discomforted by the warmth of his presence and by how reassuring it was.

_I am not __**your**__ darling, _I said firmly. His eyes caught mine for only a second, and then we turned a corner and Alloran stopped dead in front of a large pair of doors.

_You were once mine, first of all, _Arbat answered, so quiet it might have been the hiss and scrape of our feet on the floor, except that with that thought he sent me a blink of sadness, arrowing into my soul. I made an impatient gesture with my hand, batting him away crossly. In front of us Alloran reached out trembling fingers to a keypad at the side of the doors.

_I thought we were going Hork Bajir! _I said, suddenly aware of how close to us the Visser was, his evil presence breathing only feet away.

_No time, _Alloran hissed.

_We're unarmed, _Arbat protested. _This is foolish! We must morph!_

"He'll get away_," _Alloran shouted, his loud human voice reverberating down the mercifully empty corridor. "There are six of us! We can take him!" Even I, who had never received training in military tactics, could see that this was foolishness, and risk bred of his impatience and blindness.

_NO! Wait and we will morph! _I demanded, but it was too late, Alloran had already slammed his fingers onto the keypad, those fingers which had been shaking from the delay, and the door softly swished open.

What had I expected? A dark room, with the heads of enemies decorating the walls? I was partly disappointed: the room was in fact well lit and there were no heads, but the walls were not bare. Arranged on them were various contraptions, instruments of...

_Torture, _Arbat murmured, his eyes flicking like a bird around the room. It was so limiting only having two eyes! I felt like an attack could come from behind, whilst we all stared into the room. In front of us a female figure had turned, startled, from her computer. My breath caught and it seemed that there was no way Visser Three would not recognise us for what we were instantly. Her eyes ran over us, cold dark eyes, and she regained her composure almost instantly.

"If you're here to deliver the maintenance report then you're early," she said sharply. "I do not appreciate unscheduled interruptions." I glanced at Alloran, but he seemed transfixed, staring at her and breathing hard, gulping. Arbat gave him a shove forwards, and we all followed, inching into the Visser's spacious quarters. Arbat himself stepped forwards and bowed to the Visser as she watched, imperious but not impassive, a tapping of her fingers against her arm betraying her annoyance.

"Forgive us, Visser, but we were told by, um, Sub Visser...

_Thirteen, _Alloran whispered, still stock still in his stricken state.

"Sub Visser Thirteen that you expected us at this time," Arbat completed smoothly. The Visser opened her hands, stretching them so her palms went white, as if to pull information from us with her fingers.

"And? Report! And stop staring like idiots!" I suddenly realised that apart from Arbat we were all still goggling at her. I raised my eyes, above her small human head with just its one pair of eyes, to the wall behind her.

_That's a Kreygorian Cruncher, _Medrar whimpered. _I __**know**__ what it does. _So did I, but this was not the time to imagine the Visser tightening the bolts and twisting the screws...

_Stand up straight and look dutiful, _I snapped, and the arisths rearranged themselves. Alloran had broken from his trance, and as Arbat assumed a reporting position, his feet apart, his hands held out to mirror the Visser's grasping claws, I noticed that my mate was stealthily edging to her left.

"Visser, we have taken great care over this report, as we always do and always will when carrying out your bidding," Arbat began. Visser Three twitched angrily, clearly missing her tail.

"And your findings are?" she ground out, as if she had a mouthful of glass.

_Dracon beam on the panel behind her, _Alloran murmured.

_Farling, Lortif, Medrar, be ready to strike when I say, _I ordered. _These bodies are larger than hers. We want to overpower her and bear her to the ground before she can reach that weapon. _Arbat mumbled something about the findings of the report concluding his first impressions, and Visser Three ground her teeth. Her right hand reached back, steadying her against the panel at waist height behind her.

_Now! _Alloran shouted, almost joyfully, as I simultaneously shrieked, _NO! _I'd seen what he hadn't, standing as he was on Visser Three's left side. The Visser's suspicious fingers had curled around the Dracon beam behind her, and as Alloran shouted and leapt forward she whipped it out, turned it on Alloran, fired and hit him at point blank range. My heart crumpled with him as he fell to the ground, a burnt mess, and I seemed rooted to the spot.

"ANDALITES!" Visser Three screamed, enraged. "Here, in my own quarters!" She spun and shot at Arbat, a better aimed shot which took his head off even as he moved to avoid it. I couldn't even breathe as his decapitated corpse slipped smoking to the ground, as Farling hit the Visser with his shoulder, sending her tumbling and scrabbling after the Dracon beam skittering across the floor. Lortif leapt after it, landing on it and fumbling for the trigger, whilst Medrar launched himself onto the snarling, thrashing Visser. As I watched she turned and bit Farling's hand, with which he was attempting to cover her mouth, and somehow that spurred me forwards to run, and snatch the beam from Lortif's clumsy fingers and grab Visser Three's hair and force the beam right between her eyes and shout at her to _STOP stop stop_!

She stopped grudgingly, her struggles lessening, her breathing ragged as she focussed on the weapon centimetres from her face. A trickle of blood ran from her mouth, but that was nothing compared to the stench of blood and burnt flesh filling the quarters.

_Let her stand, _I ordered Medrar and Farling, and grudgingly they pushed themselves up off her and stood back. She remained sprawled on the floor a moment, still breathing hard, and then slowly pulled herself upright. I stepped back and motioned her forwards. _Into the centre of the room and away from your computer if you don't mind. _

"Killing me will achieve you nothing," Visser Three said, gasping because she had to catch her breath, not from fear. If there was one thing this Yeerk had demonstrated copiously, it was that it did not lack courage. _How admirable, _I breathed to myself, still sickened by that image of Arbat's headless body falling away. "Where I fall, many more will surge forward, to take my place and subjugate this planet."

_Father, _Farling whispered, reaching out to the huddle I was ignoring so carefully, the pile of charred flesh that might or might not still be my mate. The Visser's eyes followed him as he shook a shoulder. Alloran moaned, and my heart gave a little hiccup of relief.

"He'll live, more's the pity," Visser Three said calmly, her breath recovered. "My aim was off with him moving so fast." She turned her gaze to behind me, dropping her eyes to the floor, to what remained of Arbat. A cruel smile touched her lips. "Which is more than can be said for that one."

_Quiet! _I snarled, and the Visser turned her two eyes back to me.

"And you must be Jahar, hiding behind that human face. Are you planning to shoot me, or just wave that at me?"

_Aren't you afraid of death? _I asked incredulously. The Visser shrugged. From the corner of my eye I saw Alloran stagger to his feet, a black burn scarred across his right shoulder. He started morphing, grasping Farling's arm to steady himself.

"I have been in a human host for a mere five days," Visser Three said quietly. "And after being with your husband... well, let's say I am lacking a will to live much longer." I took a step back, revolted by the way her female voice caressed the syllables of the words 'your husband'.

_You killed Arbat, _I whispered. Arbat, who came out of loyalty to me. Arbat, whom I had jilted and yet still followed me and offered comfort and love again and again, even when it was thrown back in his face. Bitter Arbat, mocking Arbat, claver Arbat with his plans and schemes, undone by his brother's impatience. Lost forever, like Kipsing, along with my daughter's brief dream of romance and his own of glory and land. The Dracon beam shook in my hand, and I couldn't stop a sob escaping me, shaking my shoulders.

"Alloran always wondered if you two comforted each other in his absence," Visser Three commented, mockingly. "I use to tease him by feeding him images of you both, and he called me a fool." She glanced triumphantly at Alloran, back in his Andalite body and shaking his head as if to clear it of a buzzing. "It appears that I was right and you were the fool after all, my pet." He cracked his tail in agitation.

_Do NOT call me that! _Visser Three snorted, a pitying, superior sound which kindled angry madness in my mate's eyes.

_Alloran, _I warned, and he checked himself. For a second there I really thought he would have rushed forwards and ended it.

_What is the delay Jahar?_ he said angrily. _Finish this now then, if you won't have me do it. _The beam trembled in my finger, warm. It seemed to be humming with Arbat, his voice, his whispers, his hoofbeats and old, dusty kisses. I still couldn't hold the thought that he was truly gone. Visser Three tilted her head, questioning.

"Will she, won't she? Does she still love you Alloran? Would she if I told her all your little secrets?" Alloran gave an incoherent snarl, his rage battering all of our minds, and the Visser laughed.

_Mother? _Farling said uncertainly, and I realised that he was staring at me, and the other two arisths, frozen, waiting for me. I'd dragged them halfway across the universe, deep into a fight adult warriors would have shrunk from and I had absolutely no idea what to do with them. A strange desire to laugh filled me, but my chest was too full, too constricted, and I thought instead I might cry. _Why are you waiting? _Farling asked.

I have waited all my life, and delayed, and prevaricated. Is it my fault, my weakness? I would not pursue Alloran when I realised I loved him, I did not pursue him for years when he was enslaved, and now again I stood on the threshold of committing myself and _waited._

The world can wait, but not as I can. Nothing waits as long as I can, waiting without patience, teasing my soul into little shreds.

Kill him and end it.

And what? Go home? It was unlikely Alloran would leave – he'd want to stay and fight. Would I wait? Again? For him.

Arbat waited for me, and see how he was rewarded.

Arbat, oh Arbat! Gone, gone and all my fault.

_Jahar? _Voices were calling. If I waited a little longer it'd be out of my hands. Alloran would lose patience, would step in and deliver that final blow. A blow he had no right to deliver, because it was **me** Visser Three stole from, **me **who had suffered alone all these years and **me **who deserved vengeance.

"I think she did love Arbat, you know," Visser Three said conversationally. She turned to Alloran. "It really wouldn't be surprising when you consider how you treated her."

"That is none of your business," I snarled, a shriek which made the Visser jump and spin back to face me. "And it never was!" I held the Dracon beam with a steady hand now, and squeezed the trigger.

TSEWW!

And in that instant I was spinning, whirling and flying through darkness, through an endless now, alone and lost, shocked and screaming, _Alloran? Alloran!_

"Be calm, Jahar,"a voice said gently, a voice resonating warmth. A floor of some sort appeared beneath my hooves (somehow I was in my own Andalite body again), a sandy ground for me to stand on. I felt less frightened with a surface beneath me, as the three dimensions reasserted themselves. Darkness stretched out on all sides of me, only it was not complete darkness because when I looked up I saw stars I did not know glinting above me.

_Where am I? _I whispered.

"A dead world, a million galaxies from your own," the voice replied. "I brought you here because it has an atmosphere that will support you during our discussion."

_Discussion, _I repeated dumbly. I felt exhausted, drained by the cathartic decision to pull that trigger and kill Visser Three, too empty to feel true fear or confusion. _Are you the Ellimist? _I asked. _I've always believe the Ellimist existed. _

"And you are correct in that belief," the voice replied. "But I am not the Ellimist. I am another." Fear came now, flooding through me in cold waves.

_Crayak then, _I whispered. My knees trembled at the thought of the unmentionable horror which permeated Andalite myths and bedtime stories.

"I am not Crayak either," the voice corrected. "You play Conquest, Jahar, so you will understand who I am."

_The third, _I ventured.

"Yes," the voice agreed. "The Third." The third player, weaker than the two dominant players but just as important, courted by both and forging alliances, prancing on the edge of ruin and hoping, just hoping that one day their time would come, when the two great powers tore each other to bits and left a crack for someone small to sneak in.

_Can I see you? _I asked, and this time there was a pause before the reply came.

"I will assume a form amiable to your perceptions of life." I twisted my stalk eyes round and readied my tail (for what good that would do me!). Glancing behind me proved unnecessary, when suddenly in front of me The Third appeared. It seemed to form itself out of nothing, a dark splot in the air twisting and then pushing outwards into limbs, a torso, a head, a tail.

_An Andalite? _I said, surprised.

"Only an appearance I have assume so as to communicate more easily with you," The Third replied. Somehow, despite the fact that it had no mouth (as any Andalite) the words were still definitely spoken audibly, to the air. I shifted nervously.

_What do you want with me? _The Third tipped its Andalite head to the side.

"Jahar, you must believe me. I am trying to help you."

_Help me?_

"You are a good creature Jahar, with a noble heart and good intentions. You are the sort of creature we all like to use in this game. Ellimist, Crayak, me. We all have our champions, creatures whom we pick and watch over, whom we shepherd towards our aims." It hesitated, and then said, "War Prince Elfangor was one of the Ellimist's favourite champions. He always seems to favour the tortured heroes."

_What is your aim? _I asked cautiously. _If, as the legends say, the Ellimist offers hope and Crayak offers destruction then what are you?_

"An opportunist," The Third replied. "And far more loyal to my champions than either of the other two are. The Ellimist is perfectly happy to let Elfangor fall and die when his purpose is served. I would have saved him."

_And why do you want me? _I whispered. It seemed frightening to voice the question to such an obviously powerful being, but it had answered me seemingly candidly so far. As it was The Third did not answer my question immediately but instead turned its Andalite head skywards, towards the glimmering mantle of stars.

"I have fewer champions than the other two," it said. "I can not afford to stretch my limited powers too thin." I snorted before I could stop myself. 'Limited'? This creature had just whirled me halfway across the universe, seemingly without breaking a sweat. "I am currently allied with the Ellimist, and he is working to preserve Earth from the Yeerks. He fears the destruction of such a vibrant planet – Earth is really quite unique to sustain so very many life forms on it. I have two primary champions, whom I guard and preserve." All four eyes of the creature were now turned on me. "And through their preservation I keep alive the hope of a future where Earth can survive the onslaught of the Yeerks and be free." My breathing quickened, great gulps of this air no Andalite had ever breathed before, or might ever again.

_And these two champions?_

"As you have perhaps guessed, one is your husband," The Third replied. Its gaze bored into me. "The other is Esplin 9466, the Yeerk who enslaved him." I stood there, stunned, unable to speak and feeling like I was whirling through space again. How could two such very different people be used in conjunction?

_Was it your doing that they came together then? _I asked, afraid to hear the answer. The Third shook its head.

"No, I only chose to champion them after that had happened. You see Jahar, there are many futures where Earth falls to the Yeerks, but only a very few where Esplin 9466 is defeated by the heroes of Earth. And of those futures, in only one does Earth escape annihilation by the Andalites, with the intervention of your husband."

_Alloran stays as a free Andalite to fight on Earth? _The Third's gaze turned down from the stars and back to me, growing even harder to bear, as if waves of heat emanated from those dark green eyes.

"No, Jahar. He is enslaved, enslaved until the very last hour when he breaks free and saves Earth."

_How can that be? _I challenged it. _I have already freed him. We have! That future will not come to be._

"No it will not," The Third said, still gentle. "Because of what you have done for Alloran, brave Jahar, as a noble and loving wife, Earth will burn. That is why you were chosen to be the champion of Crayak."


	28. Chapter 28

Yay, this one came out fairly fast! I'm posting it so close to the last one because I'm off on holiday for around two weeks so won't write for a little while. Hope you enjoy it :)

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Chapter 28

"Because of what you have done for Alloran, brave Jahar, as a noble and loving wife, Earth will burn. That is why you were chosen to be the champion of Crayak."

Crayak. I was an agent of Crayak.

I couldn't say anything but just stood there silently, the weight of horror and despair crushing me to the ground. Everything I had done, everything I had tried to do out of love had served that creature's dark agenda.

_Is it so terrible? _I whispered finally. _Is it really so terrible that Earth should be lost?_

"The loss of Earth would be only the first movement in a final attack which would destroy the Andalite race," The Third replied gravely. I closed my eyes, as if to ward off the future by not seeing it.

_So I have condemned our race? Just by my small actions? _I felt a panic rising in me, a need to make this creature see. _It can't be true! I am just one creature, just one tiny insignificant being! All I wanted was to bring my husband home. I am only an insect in the great scheme – how can what I do possibly affect anything? _In answer The Third regarded me impassively for a moment, and then raised a hand. In that second I was spinning again, whirled to a new place, a place of darkness and hard steel, and in front of me, towering above...

Crayak. Huge, malevolent, waves of tangible darkness rolling off him. A great scarlet eye high above, set into a body that either sat on a throne or was a part of a throne, a mix of metal and dark flesh wrapping round it like gnarled tree roots. Terror held me still, barely breathing, praying that he would not notice me, but instead Crayak's attention was taken by a smaller creature standing in front of him, a slim, vaguely humanoid creature wreathed in a strange purple halo that was light and darkness at the same time. It hurt to look at that creature, but somehow I knew that it was not the one to be feared in this place.

"So, you have chosen the side of the Ellimist in this round," Crayak murmured, his voice a low rumble which threatened to shake me apart.

"Only for the time being," The Third replied playfully, and I realised that this was the past, that (as far as the limits of time applied to these powerful creatures) this had already happened. "He allowed me free choice of champions, and thus I shall work for the preservation of Earth with him. That is, unless you have a better offer?" Its tone was almost flirtatious.

"This is a battle I can fight on my own," Crayak thundered. "I do not need your assistance this time. Earth will fall. I have seen it."

"As I have seen it survive," The Third replied. "My champions will see to it."

"Your champions?" Crayak sneered. "Weak, misguided creatures stained with evil. One of them will one day beg to serve me. Poor choices for saving a world."

"The best champions are those that do not fully understand the purpose they serve," The Third replied firmly. "That is where the Ellimist always makes his mistake. He leads his champions too much. He takes his champion on Earth and holds his hand."

"What would you know, insect?" Crayak growled, and he laughed mockingly. "You skitter like a beetle at the edge of the game. With one thought I could wipe you out." The Third was very quiet for a minute and then said softly, "On Earth they have a saying. The beating of an insect's wings can cause a hurricane a thousand miles away. One insect is sometimes all that is needed to make a difference."

"Perhaps I shall follow your logic," Crayak snorted, as The Third turned away from him, ready to go. "Perhaps I shall use an insect of my own to disrupt your plans." The scene flowed and dissolved, into swirls of darkness and I knew that I'd seen what I was meant to see, was being carried back to the lonely planet where The Third was talking with me. But in the last second, as I started to go, Crayak turned his gaze and his eye skewered me, pinning me in its beam. "Well done, Jahar," he rumbled in my mind, his voice filling my head. "I shall grant you long years in your husband's arms, far from war, for your work." And then he was gone and I was back on the sand under the unfamiliar stars, The Third standing in front of me in its Andalite form and Crayak's promise still vibrating through me.

"I did not foresee Crayak truly using just one player to disrupt the game," The Third said softly. It bowed its Andalite head. "I did not see you coming until it was too late. Crayak slipped you silently under our noses into the fray."

_Surely the Ellimist could have foreseen it? _I asked. _Is he not all powerful? _In the stories the Ellimist was omnipotent, a benign god with an omniscient eye.

"The Ellimist was distracted," The Third replied. "A scuffle between himself and Crayak over a small planet near here, the home of the Iskoort. Crayak spread himself too thin concentrating on you and on the Iskoort. He made a fatal mistake with his Howlers." A small, triumphant smile appeared in The Third's eyes. "He let something in which he should not have. This will disadvantage him in the game." Its gaze was back on me, piercing as Crayak's. "Given his losses, Crayak's offer of sanctuary to you was remarkably generous." I felt a flush creep over my cheeks.

_You heard that? Can his promise be trusted?_

"Oh yes," The Third replied. "I can tell you in all honesty that Crayak has cleared a path for you. You will kill Esplin 9466, take Alloran and your friends and fly away. You will end up marooned on a small planet with a perfect habitat for Andalites. The war will pass you by and you will live out the rest of your life in peace, with Alloran." I nearly whimpered. He was waving paradise under my nose, waving all my hopes and dreams and promising that they could come true.

But if it was so simple then he would not have brought me here, would he?

_And if I take that offer then essentially the universe is doomed, isn't it? _I said miserably. The Third didn't reply but stood there calmly, waiting, drilling me with its gaze. _So, by extension, you must be here to ask me to do differently from what I would have done – namely killing Visser Three and leaving Earth and being happy. _Something broke inside me, some dam I'd built, and from behind flooded a wave of emotions screaming _I want to be happy! I've suffered enough! Let me go, let me be, let me run with Alloran and pass my final years in peace._

"It is not only you I need to ask to change their future," The Third said gently. "Alloran too still has a crucial part to play." I snapped my head up, from contemplating the sand back to The Third, and suddenly I was angry.

_Is that why you brought me here? You're too frightened to go to my mate yourself and ask him to go back to being a slave, to endure years of humiliation and servitude all over again on the off chance that one future in a thousand will come true and he will end up saving the world? You want me to break the news to him instead, that with his freedom we've just bought Earth's certain ruin?_

"Yes," The Third said, calmly.

_Well I won't!_

"It is the only way." I folded my arms and raised my tail aggressively.

_No. _The Third said nothing, just stood there impassively and I found myself speaking again. _Even if I wanted to, I couldn't possibly persuade Alloran to become Visser Three's host again. _The silence was unnerving, it led me to fall to talking myself into it, as if The Third was supplying the words. _I mean, I doubt I could persuade him. The only way I could do it would be by emotionally bullying him into it and I won't, I won't! I will not sacrifice our happiness and condemn him to misery again. Not for anything._

"Not for the safety and future of the Andalite race and all of humanity?" The Third asked. I knew logically that I was being ridiculous, that there was no way I could weigh up my own selfish desires against so many lives, but it wasn't about me, it was about Alloran. Alloran who had already suffered so much. Alloran who I would not condemn by my own hands back to despair.

_No, _I whispered, hating that I was so sure of my answer. Surely I should have felt more terrible, more wracked with guilt at the thought of what I was saying, but all that mattered was Alloran.

"Not for the lives of your friends Arbat and Kipsing?" At those words, I felt like I'd run into a stone wall, my certainty instantly evaporating. Because, of course, that was my weakness, the knowledge that those two Andalites died because of me, for me. The Third's words cut like a knife deep inside me, finding the ball of pain associated with their deaths and slicing into it. If I had the chance to save them, and everyone else as well, but more importantly them, did I not owe it to them to use it?

_I don't know, _I whimpered uncertainly. _I wish it wasn't Alloran you needed. Couldn't it be someone else? He has already suffered so much. Couldn't I take on his burden, and take his place?_

"It must be Alloran," The Third replied. "There can be no substitution. You must ask him to do this."

_But I love him! _Silence. _This is cruel, _I whispered. _You are asking me to take the one I love most of all and force him to do something against his will, against my own will._

"Yes."

_Crayak offers peace and happiness._

"I will not match that offer. I only offer the lives of your two comrades, and a promise."

_Promise? _I repeated faintly, hopefully.

"I am not like the Ellimist and Crayak. I do not abandon my champions to death." So Alloran would live. And if all turned out as this being hoped, as it dreamed, then one day he would be free again. A slim chance, weighed against the certainty of servitude. Weighed against the Visser laughing in his head for years, rejoicing in the fact that he willingly came crawling back.

_I'll try, _I said wearily. _I can't promise more. I'll try._

"That is all we can ever ask of our champions," The Third said. It raised a hand again, and once more I was spinning across the many miles between here and my husband on Visser Three's Blade Ship, spinning back into a human body with human limbs and a Dracon beam clutched in my hand. I blinked, dazed, and swayed.

"I think she did love Arbat, you know," Visser Three said, in front of me, her chest heaving with malice. Still alive! And of course, that was The Third's aim wasn't it? To protect all of its champions, including this vile slug in front of me. She turned to Alloran. "It really wouldn't be surprising when you consider how you treated her." He bristled, furious.

_Jahar, either shoot him or give me that Dracon beam this instant! _Why wouldn't he use his tail? Was he afraid to move without permission when I held the only weapon in the room? Somehow that thought saddened me even further, and the beam shook in my hand again. I lowered it.

"No Alloran. We're leaving, now."

_What? _he shrieked.

_Mother, what do you mean we're leaving? _Farling asked. _The Visser..._

"Walk to the door all of you," I said firmly. "We are walking out of here now." Visser Three's eyes were wide with surprise, but she narrowed them and followed the arisths as they grudgingly moved to the door.

_Alloran, you must morph, _I said privately. He was shaking.

_Jahar, what are you doing?_

_It is time to go, my love._

"Must you leave so soon?" Visser Three called after the arisths' retreating backs. "We were just getting to know each other." Her tone was cold, her eyes slitted with hatred. Alloran still hadn't moved, and I took a step towards him, sliding the dial on the Dracon beam as I did so.

_Jahar, you have lost your mind, _Alloran said bitterly. _And I will not let you take this from me. _I saw him moving, a blue blur, Visser Three turning to him too late and raising a pathetic arm in defence against his tail blade.

_Alloran!_ Even as I shouted his name I had raised the Dracon beam and fired, praying I'd set it properly to stun. The bright flash of light hit him in mid air, knocking him back against the computer panel. Visser Three raised herself from her hunched defensive position and laughed shakily when she saw that he was nearly unconscious.

"Now _that_ was unexpected. Well aimed Jahar!"

_Shut up Yeerk, _I snapped, turning the beam back on her. I gestured at Alloran, moving weakly. _Step away from him. Medrar, come here. _Medrar walked carefully forward, and I handed him the Dracon beam without ever turning the tip from the Visser's direction. _If she tries anything stun her. _He nodded seriously, and I moved forward to Alloran. I grasped his arms, lifting his head towards me.

_Jahar? _he whispered. _You shot me? _His tone was agonizingly incredulous.

_Morph, _I hissed. I leaned forward and kissed his forehead with my human mouth, an attempt to convey love and reassurance. _I will explain, my love. I promise. _He stared at me for a second, undecided, and then started the blessed changes back to a human body.

"How sentimental," Visser Three sneered. "The happy family is all back together." He scanned the arisths. "Farling, Tirdellan, are you there? Have you come all this way to find your magnificent father? Does he measure up to expectations?"

_Be quiet, _Medrar snarled, and I saw Farling looked shaken.

_Stun the Visser, _I said calmly. Alloran shot me a look of intense betrayal, and I fought back a sob. _We're going to take a Bug Fighter and go back to __**The Starwave**__. _Back to Arbat's ship, without him. Back to the ship where Kipsing died. I owed it to them, didn't I, to try and coax Alloran back into slavery? Medrar adjusted the dial on the Dracon beam, and aimed carefully. The Visser gulped, nervous, but didn't flinch. She slumped to the ground, and I checked quickly that she was unconscious. Behind me Alloran hovered, in his human morph.

"I could strangle him now," Alloran said bitterly. "Yet you don't seem to want me to. Why are you doing this Jahar?" His voice was plaintive, a thwarted child whining about the unfairness of life. He moved, or at least I sensed his presence getting closer. "Why are you protecting him?" His last word was a strangled yell and he leapt. I half turned to meet him and he grabbed me, trying to pull me aside, trying to get at the unconscious controller again. "You don't understand!" he howled. "You didn't have him there! It's my right to kill him, my right, my right!"

"I know!" I shouted. "I know, I know! Please stop!"

_War Prince Alloran, please get off her, _Medrar intervened, his voice shaky. Alloran stared in hatred at the tip of the Dracon beam pointed at him, but then pulled himself off me, panting.

_How loyal they are to you, Jahar, _he sneered, his tone hurting me deep inside. _I would hate to be shot again. _I staggered to my feet, breathing hard.

_Stop behaving like a child, Alloran. You are a warrior and your job is to take orders. I am ordering you to leave now. _I turned to face the others. _We are all leaving now._

If I hadn't had the Dracon beam in Medrar's hand, and Medrar truly loyal to me (oh I chose well there! Farling might have wavered out of sympathy for his father, and Lortif out of his love for Farling) I doubt I could have forced all of them out of the Visser's quarters. We left her breathing shallowly on the floor, no doubt with the Yeerk's mind whirring frantically behind that supposedly unconscious exterior, trying to puzzle out what had happened. Alloran walked sullenly at the front of our group, sending mutinous glances my way. Farling and Lortif were confused, uncertain. My son reached out a tentative hand to his father, and was hurt when Alloran yanked himself away as if the touch had burned. Medrar brought up the rear with me, the Dracon beam held very close in his right hand, his left side turned and me on his right to shield it from passersby. I half feared Alloran would lead us in circles, back to his sleeping enemy, but instead he turned into a main hanger, filled with ships in their energy cradles. A human controller approached us and asked for authorisation for using one of the Bug Fighters and Alloran rattled off a monotonic set of digits. The controller nodded, satisfied, and we were directed to a nearby Bug Fighter. As we approached, the cables feeding the ship fuel and coolant were disconnected, falling away from it disconcertingly, as if its entrails had dropped out. Taxxons scooped up the cables, carrying them out of our way, and we boarded silently. Lortif took the controls and we took off calmly and unhurriedly, just a group of broody controllers on boring business.

When we were a very good way from the Blade ship I keyed in the radio frequency I had told Tirdellan to listen to, and made contact fairly swiftly. Her thought speak was steady, although with a shrill note of worry, and I told her to meet us at a set of co-ordinates above the Earth country 'England'. When we arrived there she was waiting for us, and we docked the Bug Fighter against her, crossing from its claustrophobic interior into the lovely _Starwave_. A pang hit me again, stepping into Arbat's ship, and when Tirdellan came to greet us her eyes widened to see us one short.

_Who? _she whispered, and I realised she couldn't tell us apart in our human morphs.

_Your uncle Arbat, _Alloran said coldly, his first words since he gave the authorisation code at the hanger. For a second my daughter almost smiled in relief, before rearranging her face into the appropriate sorrow. As we demorphed I motioned her to me and we touched tails.

_Take the boys, _I said softly. _Set the Bug Fighter drifting free and obliterate all trace of it. _They'd enjoy that, I hoped, the destruction of a ship at close range.

_Mother, what is wrong? _Tirdellan asked. _You are all so quiet._

_Your uncle's death was upsetting for us, _I lied calmly. _Do not worry about it. _Alloran turned to me, back in Andalite form, the steel blue shimmers in his fur almost sinister.

_Jahar, may I speak to you?_

_Yes, _I replied, glad to hear his even tone. It sounded like he had calmed down. _We'll talk in my quarters. _I led him to them, whilst the younger ones went to the main cockpit to enjoy target practice on the Bug Fighter. Alloran appeared completely relaxed, waiting politely for me to open the doors to my quarters us and stepping in ahead of me at my invitation. I turned my stalk eyes to check that the doors had shut fully behind us, and in that second he struck. His attack was brutal and fast, his first bow blocked by my tail but his second one coming unexpectedly at knee height, knocking me down. Half a second later his tail blade was pressed against my throat, quivering, as he himself was, trembling all over with rage.

_What is your game? _he roared, his thought speak bombarding my mind. _Why did you stop me? You shot me! Why should I not kill you now?_

_Alloran, it's me! Your Jahar!_

_And that's the only reason you're not dead already. _He was breathing hard, green eyes glittering with some terrible madness. I raised a trembling hand to his tail blade, pressing uncomfortably against my throat, and tried to push it away. It would not budge.

_Please, _I whispered. _Let me explain._

_I can not wait to hear your reasons for acting as you did! _Alloran spat. _They must be extraordinary indeed._

_Alloran... _I wanted to cry; to fall, shaking and sobbing into his arms, only there was no shelter for me there. This onslaught came from him, wholly from him, and he would not protect me from harm as I had always believed he would. _Let me stand, _I begged. _Let me stand and speak to you. I didn't want to stop you. You are justified to be this angry, love, but-_

He cut angrily across me, jabbing a finger at me. _Do NOT call me that! _Exactly the same words he had used to Visser Three. I felt like something was breaking in me, and a part of me remembered Crayak's promise and wanted so much for us to reconcile over loving words and go back, complete what we had started and run off to paradise. But looking at Alloran, with his heaving chest and wild eyes, almost rolling, I knew that dream was over. I'd already chosen our course, already pitted myself against Alloran. All that was left was for me to defeat him.

Taking both my hands I pushed against his tail blade. I'm not a fool – I know I couldn't have moved a metre and a half of coiled muscle if he hadn't wanted it moved, but grudgingly he withdrew it, allowing me to stand. I was panting with the shock of being shouted at, but some miserable part of me pushed me resolutely forward. _Throw it away, _it whispered. _Throw away every dream of happiness you have ever had. You don't deserve it anyway._

_Alloran, _I said, shaky but growing firmer. _You are not going to like what I have to say, but you must listen to me._


	29. Chapter 29

Taken down and reposted for editing. This chapter is dedicated to the very lovely AniJen21 who pointed out the terrible omission of a very important scene - I hope it satisfies :)

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Chapter 29

We pulled apart, panting, and struggling to regain ourselves. A shouting match would have been unseemly between two supposedly mature Andalites, so we started by completing a relaxation ritual together. It was perhaps the tensest relaxation ritual ever performed in Andalite history, with both of us acutely aware of the strain in the air between us, but it served to calm us down enough to speak in civilised tones. I was almost afraid to begin, afraid that Alloran would terrify me again, but he lifted a hand to motion me to start. As I recounted my meeting with The Third, he watched me with an incredulous expression on his face and at first refused to believe that I had not imagined the whole thing. I insisted that this was not the case, and finally resorted to the horrible low of saying '_If you love me, you'll believe me' _– I wished I could take back the words the instant they were spoken, but he did not comment_. _After that Alloran grudgingly accepted that it was possible that I had not simply hallucinated on the Blade Ship, but remained sceptical of The Third and the truth of its words. Alloran had never believed in the stories of the Ellimist and Crayak, and the fact that they actually existed did not seem reason enough for him to change his policy of ignoring them. When I told him of The Third's dire predictions of the future he seemed initially prepared to laugh them away.

_Ridiculous prophecies of doom, _he said mockingly. _Terrible enough to frighten you, Jahar, _(and here he actually reached out and gently stroked my shoulders. I started to shrug him off, but then relaxed an inch and allowed him to caress me. It was a start towards an apology for his behaviour earlier), _but not real. No creature can foresee the future._

_The Third seemed to think it could, _I said. _As did Crayak. _I reached out and caught his hand. _Alloran, I saw him. I mean __**really **__saw him. And he saw me. _I didn't mention Crayak's promise of that future bathed in a golden glow of happiness, but I did tell him how I had unwittingly been used as his agent.

_Or so these creatures claimed, _Alloran pointed out. I shuddered.

_When he said it, it was like a great moment of realisation for me. Like all my selfishness was laid bare and I knew what he said was true. _I clung to Alloran's hand, entwining our fingers.

_Selfishness? _Alloran echoed. _Was it selfishness that brought you to Earth? No. _He reached with his other hand and lifted my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. The green irises glittered with a banked fire, his rage still smouldering underneath as he fought to control himself. _You came for me, Jahar. You became because you loved me. _He dropped my chin. _Or so I thought, until that little episode on the Blade Ship. _He was still angry, then.

_I had to stop you, _I said miserably. _Alloran, I wanted to kill him for what he did to you. I did try to! Before I was pulled away I squeezed that trigger. I would have again, but The Third said it was necessary that he survived._

_And you think it was speaking perfect truth to you? _Alloran snarled, fury in his voice. He shook free of me and started pacing the confines of the quarters. _Granted, this 'Third' exists. What's to say it does not work for Crayak and seeks to undo your good work in destroying Visser Three? _I hadn't told him yet of The Third's warning that Earth would only be saved if he returned to his former master, and he whirled around the quarters in agitation. _This 'Third' claims Visser Three is its champion and it certainly seems to have his interests at heart! But what of me? if I am so important to it am I to be denied justice?_

_Yes, _I said miserably. _And more. It is not only justice The Third seeks to deny you. _Alloran turned curious eyes on me, and my hearts thundered horribly loud. _The Third said that if Earth fell to the Yeerks then the rest of the galaxies would follow._

_Yes yes, _Alloran said impatiently. _And only by Visser Three staying alive can this cataclysmic occurrence be magically averted, and so you spared him._

_Visser Three has to be there at the end, _I said quietly. _As he was before._

_Before what? _Alloran said warily, his pacing stopping suddenly, his body very very still.

_Before I came to Earth, _I finished, my hearts crying inside of me. It was as if someone had cut the strings to a marionette. Alloran drooped, and said nothing for a very long time, not looking at me but at the floor, all four eyes cast down.

_You truly believe this creature, Jahar? _he asked, his tone empty, face inscrutable. I started to reply but he cut across me. _Yes, of course you must, to have spared the Visser's life in preparation for my return to him. _He kicked a hoof gently against the deck, a thoughtful gesture. The sound of it against the metal rang around the quarters. I did not know what to say, afraid of sparking another fit of temper.

_The Third promises that if you do this you will one day be free, _I said finally. He snorted at that. _It said this was the only way. And it said that if you did this then..._

_Yes? _he asked, emotionless.

_Then it'll bring Kipsing and Arbat back as well. _Alloran closed his eyes now, wearily, and a single shudder rolled through his body, as if he longed to shrug his very skin off.

_Jahar, can you answer me one thing faithfully?_

_Yes, _I replied, eager. _Anything!_

_Promise me, _Alloran said softly. _Promise me you do not wish for Arbat's return to satisfy your own desires. _I started to protest, but he raised a hand to stop me. _Every night it is how the Visser would taunt me, how he would again. He would say you two had sought solace together, that you had forgotten me. He would conjure up images of you running together, loving each other in my absence. I could not bear more years of that agony. _There was a terrible pain in his voice, and I stepped forwards to where he stood, slumped, defeated, ready for the blow to fall. I raised both my hands to his cheeks, a deep, loving kiss. He raised his eyes, tired eyes, defeated eyes, and I leaned in very close, touching my nose to his.

_I am yours, _I said softly. _I always have been and I always will be. No one else's. I awaited your return chaste and faithful. _My thought speak wavered, threatening to blast all my misery at him, and I don't think he could have survived if I'd added my sorrow to his own right then. _As I will await it again, War Prince Alloran, _I finished, hating myself. He raised his hands to my own, holding them in place on his cheeks.

_War Prince Alloran, _he repeated. _Of course._ _I am a warrior_. _A path I chose many many years ago. And a warrior does his duty. I understand now, that you feel this is my duty. _I held my breath, dreading for him to continue. He raised his beautiful green eyes higher, above me, as if staring into the distance. _If you ask me to do this then I will, Jahar. But not for the Andalite race, or the human race, or Arbat or even for you. _A sad smile trickled into his eyes. _Because Visser Three used me to kill that young guard you set on me, and if I can undo that I will. And if the only way for me to prevent the Visser and all his fellow scum doing greater harm is to become his again then... _He lowered his eyes again, back to me, his expression sickened. _Then I hate it and I hate it and I hate it and it's not fair and it's not just. _Again, the achingly sad softness in his eyes. _But I suppose a warrior does not concern himself with what is just or even what is right. He concerns himself with doing what is necessary. As I have always tried to. _In the silence between us a million dead Hork Bajir howled, a brief shriek of suffering.

_You'll go back? _I breathed, appalled deep inside that I was pushing him away when what I wanted was to pull him closer and closer and never let him go. I dropped my hands from his face and wrapped them around his back, clutching him to me.

_Do you wish me to, Jahar?_

_No! _I shouted, finally losing control. _No! I want you to stay with me, forever. I want to take you and run far far away from this wretched war. _I was shaking against his chest now, gulping for air. _I wish there was another way. I wish I was just selfish enough to condemn the entire universe and not care so long as I have you. _I lifted my face to him. _Alloran, I love you so very much. _He laughed then, the gentlest, saddest laugh I had ever heard.

_Well then, perhaps knowing how much I will be missed I can be brave enough to look to the future. _His hands gripped my forearm. _Jahar, you have no idea how brave I would have to be. I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to let it happen all over again._

_Try, _I whispered. _That is all they can ever ask of their champions._

Alloran left my quarters to take up residence in Arbat's and I fell asleep, utterly exhausted by our discussion. I had hoped that some part of me would feel justified in the victory over Alloran's will, in cajoling him to go against his own desires, but there was nothing but hollow sickness inside me. What did I care for the universe? It seemed to care nothing for me. The only creature that had given my own happiness a second's thought was Crayak, ironically enough, and then only because I had proved so very useful to him that he was in a liberal mood.

When I awoke my computer showed that it was evening in the hemisphere of Earth we currently sat in, and that _The Starwave_ had landed on a sprawling set of fields on the outskirts of a small human habitation called a 'hamlet'. Scanners showed that there were no human life forms within a dangerous range, and under the cover of darkness I resolved to feed, hoping that the warm trickle of nutrients up my legs would help me to feel better. When I left my quarters I ran into Medrar, who told me that Tirdellan and Farling were feeding together, as was my husband (although separately from them) and that he did not know where Lortif was. I didn't feel I had the strength of character to converse pleasantly with the small aristh, so I asked him to mind the ship whilst I went to feed as well.

It was a brisk evening, the single Earth moon glowing mistily above me, the dark grasses rustling softly beneath my hooves. In the distance I could see what I took to be Tirdellan and Farling galloping together, their backs silver in the moonlight. I admired them together for a minute, my beautiful children, before I became aware of a presence near me. I turned to see Lortif lounging in the shadow of the ship.

_Not hungry? _I asked, regretting starting a conversation instantly. I still wasn't sure I had the energy to be pleasant.

_No appetite, _Lortif replied sadly. A part of me felt like snarling at him that he had no idea what true sadness was, that his trivial problems were far beneath me, but I forced a gentle tone.

_You miss home?_

_No, _he replied. _I'm not homesick_. _All I ever wanted is here. _I followed the direction of his eyes, and compassion touched my hearts as understanding caught me. He saw my expression and turned his face away. _Please, I don't want your pity._

_Does Farling know? _I asked. He sighed heavily.

_I don't know. Does it matter? _I didn't reply, my mind whirring. A part of me was frightened by the disgraceful and unspeakable, but there was nothing disgusting or shameful about this young Andalite. On the contrary, I felt sympathy for him, standing there with his dark eyes wide with sorrow.

_We are a very long way from home, _I said eventually. He snorted.

_No one to enforce the laws? No, Jahar, you are astonishingly tolerant to even consider it but I will put you out of your misery. I have no intention of ever making my feelings known. _On the home planet he would have been executed. I reached out and instead gently touched his shoulder.

_How long? _I asked softly. He leaned forward into my touch, strong, whole, brave, still very young, burdened with feelings that would have him condemned as a perversion of nature.

_This trip made clear what I have feared a long time. _He turned to me, smiled sadly. _I beg you, don't worry about it. Put it from your mind, as I will endeavour to put it from mine. _As I turned away from him he called after me: _You know Medrar would, if I asked him. Or if you did._ He tilted his head. _Medrar would do almost anything he was asked._

Feeling a little unsettled I left him and cantered across the fields, away from my children. The grass was very rich here – perhaps it was intended as supplies for some of the herbivorous animals which the humans kept. It didn't take me long to reach my fill, but I was unwilling to go back to the ship where Lortif might still be hovering like a thwarted phantom. Instead I began to morph, a human morph for what might be my last night on Earth. I became the human female I had first acquired, wearing only the very barest minimum of clothing but still warm from my exertions. I rolled my head back, raising my two human eyes to the heavens, to the human moon glinting dully above us. To a human it was so very far away – to me a mere few hours' journey. Would they ever catch up with us?

Humans are limited by those two eyes, and by poor ears, so I didn't hear Alloran's approach, didn't even realise he was there until a pair of warm hands descended on my bare shoulders. I spun around to face him, also in human morph – a male I had not seen before. I was glad it was not the same face he had worn when Visser Three compelled me to dance with him, and opened my human mouth to speak, but he raised a hand to my lips.

"There is nothing more to say, Jahar. I have made peace with myself, and now I will do so with you." I watched him warily as he lowered the hand and leaned his head forwards. He stepped closer and used his arms to pull me in, pressing our lips together. Gently moving his lips against mine, he parted them slightly and touched mine very softly with his human tongue. Surprised, I opened my mouth and his tongue dipped in teasingly. It was not altogether unpleasant, and I tried to copy his motions. I hadn't realised how much his presence was affecting me until we broke apart and my knees wobbled, a wonderful heat roaring upwards through my belly. It was a good thing he was holding me, because I almost fell against him. I risked a giggle. "Pleasant?" he inquired, his human voice low.

"Interesting. I assume that is a human kiss?"

"Yes. Apart from interesting, how did you find it?"

"Stimulating"_, _I murmured, stepping closer, desire reawakening after a long dormancy and sending me light headed. The feel of his human body so close to mine was electric, heat rolling off him in waves.

"Mmm, really_?" _His two eyes were huge in the moonlight, shimmering pools of hungry darkness. I ghosted a finger tip over his cheek, traced the contours of his human mouth and then down the line of his throat and he shuddered.

_How did __**you**__ find it, Alloran? _I whispered in thought speak.

_Oh. _He affected nonchalance. _I could take it or leave it._

_Really? _I asked, layering my thought speak with mock surprise. He was shivering in front of me from pent up emotion – for a second I thought maybe he was angry again but then he raised one tentative hand and very very gently stroked the line of my collar bone. I rolled my head back, eyes wide to the stars, and his fingers slipped lower, still incredibly gentle. It was infuriating, that lightest of touches, skimming the very surface of my passion. He lowered his head, touching across my throat very softly with his lips. I gasped for breath through my mouth, shuddering. _Alloran, _I hissed. _What are you doing?_

_Hmm? I'm not sure, _he tilted his head to the side. _I suppose I am experimenting... _I gave an incoherent human growl and leapt forwards, up into his arms, my human mouth pressed against his. Whatever instincts these human morphs had, they were strong – he responded instantly with a throaty sound, kissing me fiercely back whilst his hands roamed down my lower back, pressing me closer to him, causing me to gasp and judder against him.

_Demorph,_ I forced out, and then attempted levity to disguise my growing need. _I want to do this the old fashioned way. _He instantly started demorphing, his flesh slipping against mine in a way that would have been disconcerting except that the sliding sensation against my torso was incredibly erotic and I was gasping against him as I demorphed too, so that we stood before each other in our own forms. Alloran was clearly fighting to be gentle, afraid perhaps of tearing me apart in his desire, and I laughed and caught one of his hands, curling my fingers over his to tighten his grip on my flesh. He made a strangled mew. _Is this really the best you can do? _I challenged. _I do hope you're not holding back for my sake. _My other hand crept down the back of his neck, over his shoulder, sliding down his back and making him sigh and arch against me. With a decisive growl he shook my hand off his and grasped me to him, my entire body straining against him as we faced each other and dug our fingers into the muscles on each other's backs, those muscles which screamed to be stroked, the deeper the better. The force of his finger tips made my legs wobble, his form was a haze in front of me, his intoxicating scent of warmth and fresh sweat in my nostrils.

For a second the knowledge of the future flooded me, a wave of sorrow threatening to swallow this moment, but my desire raged to powerfully and it banished the threat of tomorrow from my mind. With a giggle I suddenly broke free from Alloran, turning and running across the grasses. He gave chase quickly and caught me easily, panting as he tripped me and refusing to allow me up but instead pinning me down. I gave a faint half effort at rising, and he caught my arms with his hands, his grip on my wrists excitingly strong. _Now, _he whispered, bearing down on me as I tried to remember to breathe, my stomachs fully dissolved into warm water. _Now._

We spent the entire night in those fields, only returning to _The Jahar_ as the solitary human sun peaked over the grey horizon and it grew too dangerous to be off our guard so near a human habitation. And we _were_ off our guard, completely absorbed in each other and the present, forgetting the imminent horror of the future, forgetting the past except for the fact that it had been a very very long time since we were last together. I felt about ten years younger, giddy and whirling. We had revisited all our favourite techniques and even tried something new I had heard about at home which was recommended by Andalite physicians as the fashionable new way to relive stress.

As we approached the spot where I had left Lortif to his lonely vigil I again felt a pang of pity for him, and a new and wonderful feeling of contentment. Alloran cocked his head, still drunk enough with pleasure to manage a smile even as we walked closer to his damnation.

_You are so beautiful when you look happy, Jahar. I am glad I was able to provoke just one true smile in our time together._

I swivelled to face him, with the rising sun to his back and his green eyes heavy with fatigue, and my hearts so full with love and affection, and the misery that constantly threatened to break through, that I was half delirious.

_Sometimes, Alloran, in the midst of the misery and the loss and the suffering, we can pray for just one interlude of true joy. It enables us to face the dark future. _He nodded solemnly.

_It gives us hope._


	30. Chapter 30

So my email account and I have had words about it blocking my fanfiction emails - very unimpressed with it for suddenly deciding they were deadly risks. Hopefully I will now actually be able to see if anyone is kind enough to review (and i do love them if they do :D). This chapter is for those who've stuck with me so far, without whose encouragement this would probably have been abandoned around chapter 15 -Dommy-

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Chapter 30

Like the coward I am, I left it to poor Alloran to explain everything to our children, and to Lortif and Medrar. The previous night was still an intoxicating whirl of desire and inexplicable joy to me, but lancing through the haze of my own contentment was reality. Last night I had enjoyed Alloran, but today I would give him up, condemn him to his living hell again, and the feeling of contentment was fading fast in the face of this. For some reason the dark knowledge inside me struck a note with Lortif's plight, and I watched him as we assembled in the main cockpit of _The Starwave_, listening to Alloran talk. I'd always noticed that he was a large Andalite, even though not full grown yet, but now I ran my eyes more curiously over him, taking in the sturdy build, the large tail blade, the way he leaned in towards Farling standing next to him. My son shifted for comfort, so that his fingertips brushed the back of Lortif's hand, and if I hadn't been watching closely I'd have missed the silent scream in Lortif's eyes. For a second I wondered at Farling's innocuous little movement – innocent naivety or calculated teasing? But I dismissed the thought from my mind. I might have been very wrapped up in myself recently, but surely I'd never have missed a cancer lurking in my own son.

Besides, now was hardly the time for flirtation. Farling, Lortif and Tirdellan all wore expressions of faint horror on their faces – my children were too distant and disconnected from their father to hide their shock at hearing an Andalite proposing his own return to servitude. And it **was** shocking, and as I stood there and heard his words as he explained himself to these creatures who weren't even his equals I felt shame, shame that I had not been brave enough to spare him this and explain, but instead had forced him to justify his terrible decision and defend it to others.

I sought escape in switching my attention to Medrar. He stood to Lortif's right, one of the Arisths and yet apart from the other two, his small form delicate, his neat tail at half mast. I remembered Lortif's words that Medrar would do almost anything he was asked, and I remembered how he had obeyed me unquestioningly on the Blade Ship. He said he had come on this mission because he could never compete with his older brother and now, trying to read his handsome, inscrutable face, seemingly unmoved by Alloran's words, I wondered if he cared for anyone else, or even for himself at all, if he would ever love as we adults had, and if he would ever feel loss. Perhaps he had chosen the right way after all, to be untouched by everything, to be unmoved by tragedy.

And of course, my eyes returned again and again to Alloran, real and tangible in front of me for only a few moments more. I longed to feel him, but controlled myself, closing my eyes now and just hearing his voice, laying out horror in calm and measured tones, consigning himself to misery without a tremor. He gave a weary movement of his hands, indicating that his speech was drawing to a close.

_Are there any questions? _he asked tiredly, a sure sign that he had lost his grip on all we had been brought up with, on Andalite values and society and his own warrior culture as we spun aimlessly a million miles from home, and contemplated betraying our very beings. War Princes don't ask if there are questions, they rapped out orders and expected them to be obeyed. There was a long pause, awkward, and then Medrar shifted his tail to gain Alloran's attention.

_Will the Yeerks not be suspicious if you simply turn yourself in? _he inquired, and I was grateful that his question was so practical, that Alloran's decision was not being questioned. Alloran nodded, a human gesture he'd picked up, or rather the Visser had more likely picked up and which Alloran used out of force of habit because he was used to the motion.

_I will offer a trade with the Visser, _he replied. _I will ask him for two kinons of terrazite, and he will believe that our ship is badly damaged and we desperately need the metal for repairs. He will not find out the truth until it is too late, until you are long gone. _

_Gone? _I repeated. _I'm staying._ He turned on me, his eyes dark.

_Jahar, on this I must be firm. After I have been taken again you are to leave. Leave this wretched planet and this galaxy and go home. _For a second his gaze wavered as something weak inside him reached out to me, and he spoke in private thought speak. _I could not bear it for you to see me again. And these children need an adult to take them home._

_Arbat will be here, _I whispered, but he cut across me.

_I do not trust The Third's word as implicitly as you, Jahar. We can only hope it will be true._

_So, Kipsing will come back? _Tirdellan murmured, her question breaking our private discussion. I forced a smile.

_That is the hope, daughter. _Her expression shifted, apprehension and hope, and for a second it was perhaps worth it, for me to lose everything if my daughter's dream could be restored to her. It might just be worth it if Kipsing was no longer a charred memory but real again and I could forgive him his assassin ways and give him to my daughter with all my blessings.

Farling stood there, shaking slightly, his expression angry. Finally he spoke. _So it's all for nothing? _he asked bitterly. _We wasted our time coming here. Our ridiculous meaningless mission. _Alloran rocked as if slapped, and I was about to reprimand my son, when Lortif turned to him.

_You've seen your father again, _he said. _Is that nothing? _Farling stared at him, speechless with anger and surprise, and then turned on his heel and strode out. I hoped that he was angry with the circumstances that called his father away again, rather than with us, but perhaps that was an arrogant supposition. It can't have been easy for Farling to have travelled so far to reunite with his father and then hear Alloran choose to leave him and return to slavery. Our family was splintering before it had even fully healed.

Lortif waited a second uncomfortably, and then turned and followed Farling. I don't know if they argued as friends, or reconciled as friends, or argued as more or reconciled as more. I didn't have enough heart left to care, because Alloran was now reaching his hand out tentatively to Tirdellan, and I feared that if she rejected him too then his resolve would crumble entirely. She hesitated, but then she took her father's fingers in her own and raised them to her cheek in a gentle goodbye kiss.

_I think you are very brave, _she said softly, and for a second Alloran glowed and looked immortal. I felt immeasurably proud of my daughter in that moment. Then Alloran crossed the short distance to the communications consol and instructed Medrar to dial in the code for Visser Three's private communications line (_For the last thing we want is to be fobbed off by some incompetent underling, _he said, attempting levity). Almost instantly Visser Three's human face filled our screen, very familiar now –metallic blue eyes that looked like they could never convey a flicker of warmth, a pointed human nose, a wide mouth twisted into something that could never be pretty or kind.

"Who is this? How did you get this channel?" she demanded aggressively. At a nod from Alloran Medrar opened the two way viewing connection, so that the Visser could see us. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Well, look who it is: the rabble and the runaway."

_Be silent, Yeerk, _Alloran said sternly. I sent him a wave of reassuring warmth, and he stood even straighter than before. _We are contacting you because we wish to bargain with you._

"And what could I possibly have that superior Andalites like yourselves want?" Visser Three sneered.

_Materials, _Alloran said calmly. _We desire two kinons of terrazite, a compound which is not found on Earth, as you well know._

Visser Three narrowed her hateful eyes. "Two kinons?" she repeated. "There must be hardly any of your ship left if you want that much!"

_As you can imagine, it is a matter of some urgency, _Alloran replied. _And we understand you will not give us this for free._

"The Blue box," Visser Three snapped, quick as a snake. "Get me that and I'll give you all the terrazite you could possibly want." Alloran widened his eyes slightly.

_Unfortunately the Blue box is not in our possession, _he replied eventually. _As you well know, it is held by the Andalite bandits. _

"Then approach them with your woes," Visser Three snorted derisively. "As far as I can see there is nothing else you have to offer me of interest."

_Have you changed your tastes so completely in the last week? _Alloran asked, mock surprise and bitterness colouring his thought speak. _I rather thought I had something that interested you beyond measure._

Visser Three's eyes widened in shock. "I don't believe you," she hissed, her gaze flitting over his face frantically. The Yeerk was unable to keep an expression of naked desire off its host face, and a collective shudder ran through us in the cockpit. I was incredibly impressed when Alloran squared his shoulders and pushed on.

_As I commented earlier, we require this metal urgently._

"Will you just let him do this, Jahar?" Visser Three asked suddenly, her gaze pinning me down and searching me for answers. "Are you even aware what your fool of a husband is suggesting?"

_I am, _I said, fighting rising nausea. _He is a free creature, to make his own decisions._

"He won't be for much longer, the way he makes them," Visser Three sniggered.

_So, I take it you accept our bargain? _Alloran asked, fighting to keep his face straight. Visser Three was practically rubbing her hands together in glee.

"Oh I accept, one hundred per cent," she replied. "Name a place, name a time and I will be waiting with open arms." She spread her human arms wide as she spoke, in mockery of a loving embrace. I felt like expelling the morning's grass. Alloran gave details, his thought speak concise and sharp. I knew inside he was squirming in horror, but his face was as expressionless as Medrar's.

Medrar. Would he become Visser Three's host if I asked him to?

The Visser agreed the details and closed the communications by rolling a final lascivious glance over Alloran, head to hooves. I felt somehow unclean, as if I had witnessed something horrifically perverse, the Visser reminding me of something which squatted under damp stones palely and would only hours from now ooze its way lovingly and vilely into my husband's ear canal. I realised Tirdellan was shaking and gently touched her with my tail.

_That was disgusting, _she whispered. Alloran exhaled deeply, his whole body slumping.

_Yes, _he said in a resigned tone. _It was horrible. _He nodded towards Medrar. _We have two Earth hours until we have to be at the designated place, and it will take us an hour and a half to fly there. Find my son and your friend and tell them to ready themselves for departure. _He headed towards the door. _I am going to bid freedom farewell._

I waited for perhaps ten minutes, then followed him tentatively, stopping at the hatch of The _Starwave_ to watch him pounding across the field, incredibly fast, pushing himself to the limit, his sides already lathered with foam, as if he could outrun his destiny. As I watched he scudded to a halt, shaking from the exertion, threw back his head and screamed. In that second, as the sound pierced me and touched my hearts, we all felt his despair, a dark gulf suddenly swallowing us so that we were plummeting into futility, and then it stopped and I was left shaking, clutching the wall beside me to steady myself as I watched him turn back towards the ship, composed once again.

As he climbed the ramp back into the ship he saw me, and I gently reached out a hand and ran my fingertips over his cheek. It was only a second of contact, but he froze as I did it, his eyes a dazzlingly deep green, and then I broke away and he walked into the ship, heading for the cockpit, leaving me staring across the empty fields.

Lortif piloted us silently, a sulky gulf between him and Farling rumbling around the cockpit as we headed for the rendezvous. I doubt Alloran even noticed. As our ship was supposedly severely damaged he would be meeting the Visser on foot, and I was to go with him to take the metal in return. Alloran did not think I would be at much risk – Visser Three was too keen to get his host back to risk messing the transaction up by using any clever tricks, and besides an aging female Andalite with a very small supply of morphs was really of limited interest to him. Alloran was the glittering prize, the only one he would have eyes for.

We were to meet the Visser in an underground car park, entering it in human morphs and then demorphing in front of him so that he could see that Alloran truly was who he said he was. Lortif shielded us and parked _The Starwave_ on the deserted roof of the car park, and Alloran kissed his daughter and touched tails with his son. Farling's response was sullen, but at least he did reach out back to his father, and I am sure I had Lortif to thank for that. Then Alloran and I morphed and stepped out onto the hot tarmac with a soft breeze fanning our faces.

_How strange to find this beautiful, _Alloran commented quietly, stopping for a second to take in the view from the roof top over the sprawling city in front of us, so very unlike anything on our home world, with tarmac roads and green gardens, kidney shaped dabs of blue for human private pools amongst the green, sky scrapers towering in the hazy distance, and houses squatting under red roofs in the residential area surrounding us. I said nothing but followed my husband obediently as he crossed to the car park ramp and we descended the two layers to the rendezvous point, each step winding down to take us further into the claustrophobic dimness, concrete walls pressing in on us, above us, and Visser Three waiting below.

They were on the fifth level – twenty or so human controllers standing in a loose circle with Visser Three in the middle squatting on her heels and fiddling with her fingers impatiently. She stood up when she saw us, and tilted her head questioningly.

"As you see, I have come," Alloran said, and she smiled predatorily.

"And I recognise Jahar's morph from the night we three danced. Well, I wasn't sure you would keep to your word, yet here you are."

"Here I am," Alloran repeated dully. "Have you the terrazite?" Visser Three waved a disdainful hand and the human controllers parted obediently, revealing a large, dense pile of blue-grey metal on a carrier hovering about a metre off the ground, a bank of dials on the front of it to aid locomotion.

"Now demorph," Visser Three demanded. Her human tongue flickered over her lips in anticipation, and I could almost feel the excitement radiating off her. Alloran turned to me and lifted his hand to the back of my head, tilting my eyes up to his.

"I love you," he said clearly, and kissed me deliberately and slowly on the lips in front of the Yeerks. They could have jeered, but for some reason they were silent, as if perhaps on some deep level they were awed. We pulled apart, unwilling to break the contact, and I realised that tears were running down my face, the sadness I felt expressing itself through my human morph.

"I know," I whispered back. In front of my eyes Alloran demorphed slowly, never breaking his gaze from me, even as the changes caused his bones to crack and he fell forward onto his newly emerged front legs. I couldn't bear for him to look away, because then it would be over, but eventually he did and turned from me to Visser Three. I realised he was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling deeply.

_Satisfied? _he asked mockingly, stepping away from me. In reply the Visser snapped her fingers and five of the human controllers sprang forward. They fitted a sheath on his tail blade as he stood there, contemptuous of their fear of him, aware as they were that he could kill them all in a second's flurry of movement. That done, they looped chains around his upper torso, binding his arms tight. I saw the links bite into his chest and wanted to cry out for him. He turned his main eyes to me one last time, and then a dark hood was whipped over his head, obliterating the green gaze. Visser Three had watched all this like it was a show for her personal entertainment, straining forward with excitement, and now gestured impatiently at the terrazite.

"Better take that now, Jahar, before I decide you can join him." I shot her a look of supreme loathing, but crossed to that worthless lump of metal which Visser Three thought meant so much to us and activated the hover consol. I turned back as it went before me, back towards the slope to the sunlit roof with the view we had marvelled at. Only now I was alone. As I stepped away my last sordid view of Alloran was of him being forced into the gaping back of a lorry, jabbed forwards by controllers as he climbed the ramp, his hooves ringing out through the car park, clattering when he stumbled blindly.


	31. Chapter 31

Major love to all my reviewers! If parts of this chapter seem a little abrupt it is meant to take pleace over something like a two month long journey, so remember to factor in time if I've forgotten to mention it! And don't judge Jahar to harshly... if she wasn't an alien I'd say 'she's only human' :P

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Chapter 31

In a daze I guided the useless terrazite onto _The Starwave_, and ordered us to take off. The others were silent – the ship seemed so empty now with just me and the children: every sound of our shifting hooves seemed to clatter unnaturally loud. The big lump of metal Visser Three had given me sat in our hold, mocking me from afar, a worthless grey-blue heap filling the vacuum that had been Alloran. We lifted off and Medrar ran scans to see if any Bug Fighters were waiting for us, but the skies seemed clear. Lortif pointed us towards the stars, up and away from Earth, but I touched his shoulder to stop him taking us out of the atmosphere just yet.

_No, we're not quite finished on Earth._

_What else is there to do, Jahar? _he asked curiously. A sense of purpose was filling me, a memory that I'd been promised something, and the certainty that it would come.

_Take us to the old construction site, _I said firmly. Lortif exchanged a look with Medrar which I didn't miss, a look which wondered if I was losing my mind. Perhaps I was. He'd have shared the glance with Farling too, except my son was staring sulkily out the viewing screen with all four eyes. Still, as the only adult left my command was once again unchallenged, so he swung _The Starwave _around and piloted us swiftly to the familiar area. Below us sprawled the grey concrete landscape, broken here and there by half raised shells of buildings and the occasional rusting piece of machinery. I scanned the viewing screen, and then pointed when I found what I was looking for. _Down there, Lortif. _He followed my finger and let out an Andalite curse. Medrar and Tirdellan too gasped and exclaimed, and even Farling broke his gloomy reverie to gaze in shock at the screen. Only I felt no surprise, not even a quickening to my pulse rate. Somehow I had already known it would be as The Third had said.

Standing together, now almost directly below us, were two distinct Andalite figures. As Lortif settled _The Starwave_ down beside them on the rough concrete floor we lowered the shields so that they could see us. They turned and waved, hurrying off screen to the outer doors of The Starwave.

_Kipsing, _Tirdellan breathed.

_Computer, open outer doors, _I commanded. We all hesitated, reluctant to leave the viewing screens, even though the figures could no longer be seen onscreen, and then I heard the sound of two pairs of hooves on the decks and Arbat and Kipsing walked into the cockpit. For a few seconds none of us even breathed, but instead just stared at the two of them as if we expected them to vanish again.

They weren't ghosts but solid, whole and unscarred. Kipsing with the arrogant lift to his tail, Arbat with his mocking eyes. They both paused to see us, goggling silently, and then Kipsing tossed his head and snorted.

_Well, some welcome back this is!_

_You're alive, _Tirdellan murmured. He turned his main eyes to her and something soft flickered in them. She took a slow step forward and reached out her tail to him. He graciously touched blades with her, caressing hers gently.

_So it would appear. _He winced, as if a momentary pain had shot through him. _Although with very unpleasant recollections. Was I really burned alive?_

_More burned to death, _Tirdellan said, somewhat giddily. Her face fell. _And it was my fault._

_Nonsense, a female can't possibly take the credit for something so horrific, _Kipsing said a little gruffly. _It offends sensibility. _I suppose this was his way of forgiving her. She certainly brightened up, and then he smiled at her with his main eyes and she returned it, the warmth between them filling the cockpit. I switched my attention from them to Arbat, who had been watching with an amused expression.

_And you, Arbat? Any memories? _He frowned and raised a hand to his temple.

_I admit, Jahar, I have none. I suppose my demise must have been mercifully swift, if indeed I died at all._

_I certainly did, _Kipsing said softly. _I felt it. _Arbat shrugged.

_I feel that I have merely blinked. Only a second ago we were in the Blade ship, or so it seems._

_You were in the Blade ship? _Kipsing echoed. _What was it like? _He turned expectantly to Tirdellan, but she shook her head.

_I didn't go. You'll have to ask my brother or his friends. _Kipsing turned to the Arisths as if he had only just noticed them.

_Did any of __**you**__ die then?_

_No, just you two, _Medrar replied calmly. His smile was not as friendly as it could have been. _Don't you even wonder how it is that you're alive?_

_Once a miracle has been performed it seems impolite to question it, _Arbat observed mildly. I shifted, bringing their attention back to me.

_You're alive because of a deal Alloran and I made with a being of the same species as The Ellimist, _I said quietly. _Alloran went back to being Visser Three's host, in the hope that eventually that will save us all, and you were returned to us. _There was a heavy pause, and I didn't miss the horror which flickered over Kipsing's face.

_Alloran did that? _Arbat asked finally. _Why? _I felt like something was slowly fragmenting inside me – my resolve, or maybe my hearts.

_Because I asked him to, _I finally managed. I turned abruptly. _Lortif, please take us home. _Without saying anything else I strode out, almost racing, as if I could run away from them, heading for my quarters. I had hoped that somehow seeing the two of them alive again would make everything right, that it would balance the sadness within me. And yes, seeing Kipsing alive again lightened my hearts and mitigated my sense of guilt over this whole botched mission, and seeing Arbat alive again was a relief, as if a broken piece of the universe had been slotted back into place.

But it didn't make up for the fact that Alloran was gone again.

If I closed my eyes I could still feel that strange and wonderful feeling of his human lips on mine. I could still hear him say 'I love you'. If I tried very hard I could remember the frantic touch of his fingers caressing every inch of me as I melted under his hands, and pressed against him so tight I thought nothing could tear us apart. And that was the most miserable thing, I suppose. Nothing had torn us apart but ourselves. We had walked away from each other, me to my lonely misery and Alloran back to his tormenter. I don't know who of us was worse off, but I certainly felt very sorry for myself.

The soft swish of my doors made me look up, and I trembled to see Arbat standing there.

_We are underway, _he said softly. _Hak Bajeesh, we are going home. _I tried a smile, felt it freeze and slide from my eyes.

_Without Alloran._

_Yes. _He hesitated, uncertain and clumsy. I waited to see if he would say anything, but then fell to filling the silence myself.

_Arbat, I need to make one thing clear. Alloran told me that his greatest fear was that in his absence we would turn to each other. _It felt unbelievably cruel to lay Alloran's anxieties in front of his brother, but I pressed on. _I promised him we had not. And I promised him we would not. _

_I think I understand, _Arbat said.

_No, _I replied. _I want you to understand truly. You could gallop beside me and walk under the stars with me and stroke my face for a hundred years, Arbat, and I would not betray Alloran. But since you know that now, since you know your attempts will not avail you, I am asking you to stop trying to seduce me from your brother. You are alive again because of him, and I demand that you honour him during this life. _Chilly silence radiated between us, but then Arbat's gaze softened and he took a tentative step towards me.

_Do you know, Jahar, the only reason I pursued you was because I knew you would never waver? If I had thought for one second that I could be doing Alloran harm I would never have even spoken to you._

I snorted. _An easy claim with hindsight. And if I had fallen into your arms? _He shrugged.

_The point is you did not. _He raised a gentle hand and I tensed, ready to run, but his fingertips only brushed my cheekbone chastely. _Jahar, we know what we are. We were once lovers, but now we are brother and sister, and all shall be proper between us. _Now there was tiny note of pleading in his thought speak. _But surely affection between siblings is permissible?_

I don't know what the right choice would have been there. I didn't trust Arbat's protestations of innocence for one second. Perhaps I was flattering myself, but I believed his pursuit of me had always been genuine, that after his anger towards me had cooled over time he had still yearned for me. Would it have been wiser to have stepped away and refused any contact with him, to have firmly set up a wall between us? Perhaps, but I was feeling weak and very much in need of affection. So, for better or for worse, I accepted Arbat's brotherly kiss, and told myself that I wasn't betraying Alloran and never would, even as I relaxed under his soft fingertips.

I was careful. I certainly didn't have sex with Arbat, and made great efforts to avoid anything that could be construed as anything but sibling affection. In fact, looking back on it, on the voyage back to the Andalite world I used Arbat shamelessly, and gave him very little in return. Perhaps I justified it to myself by saying that I was the reason he was alive at all. I banished all thoughts that I was the reason he had died in the first place, and instead wallowed in his brotherly affection (ignoring the dark glint of desire I occasionally caught in his eyes when he thought I wasn't looking) and in the company of a mature male Andalite who could take all decisions out of my hand.

Did I betray Alloran? I honestly don't know. I hope I did not. I didn't feel sick at heart, as I was sure I would have if I had really been disloyal to him. It never crossed my mind that what he had feared most of all might perhaps have been this gentle sliding into using Arbat for solace, as the terrible ache in my hearts gradually dimmed so that I no longer felt an insistent urge always to scream. When I laughed again at a hologram Arbat showed us, truly laughed, and only five weeks after leaving Earth, I felt only a small prick of disloyalty. I could banish it by looking at my daughter and seeing her so rapturously in love with Kipsing. Death had aged him – his cocky arrogance was battered and slightly diminished, and he was the better for it. This time round he clearly loved her back, and although they still bickered their squabbling had lost its hurtful tone.

And I suppose I forgot that every second for Alloran was misery because it is hard work and tiring to be distraught for every second of every day. I settled back into the pattern of missing him, missing him but only in a general way which tinted every day with melancholy. The agonising flame of loss burned down within me, until it was just glowing embers. I pitied Alloran. I tried to send him my love across the gulf separating us, as if I could transmit my emotions across the millions of miles yawning between us. I missed him, and I missed the passion we had only very briefly reignited, but I was with friends. I was going home, and I was with young creatures, and Kipsing and Tirdellan were happy and Farling's gloom lifted like mist off a lake and was replaced by excitement in exploring new corners of the universe, and he laughed as he gathered with Lortif and Medrar and stared in wonder out of our viewing screen. And Arbat was charming.

We had parted again, but Alloran went to our enemies and I went back to our friends, and in that situation it was difficult sometimes to remember how miserable he must be.

I suppose I grew complacent. The Third had made good his promise regarding Arbat and Kisping. I settled down to wait for him to return Alloran to me in the same way. I missed him terribly, of course, but I told myself I had matured, because the pain did not dictate my everyday life.

If I could go back would I try to live differently? Would I keep the pain of our parting like a scab over a deep wound, picking it open again and again so that it will always be fresh and raw? Was there a need for me to bleed every second for Alloran, even if every day he felt fresh insistent misery? Was it really so disloyal for me to realise that I had lived for years without him, and I was capable of doing it again?

I truly believed that I loved him still, as I always had, despite his faults, guilelessly and deeply. Was it so wrong to look to the future and rekindle some hope, and allow the pain of the past to dim?

I don't know. I wonder if I ever will.


	32. Epilogue

Heya! Sorry there's been a wait - I got caught up with stuff. Here it is - the official ending to The World Can Wait. It has been such a pleasure to write this - I hope you enjoyed the ride! Thank you so much for all of you who reviewed it so faithfully - I couldn't have done it without your support :)

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Epilogue

The voyage home took the equivalent of six and a half Earth weeks, and was remarkably free of incident. For a universe 'riven by war', as the High Command put it, the reaches of space were remarkably quiet and lonely. There was one exciting incident when we came across a small squadron of five Bug Fighters, and I allowed the Arisths to chase them and pick them off for amusement. Kipsing got the first decisive shot in, crippling the lead fighter, and then graciously stepped aside from the controls to allow Tirdellan to finish him off. Arbat and I watched, amused, and I felt for a moment as if our family was complete and happy again.

Aside from the chase of the fighters we drifted in solitude through the whiteness of Zero space and the spangled darkness of normal space. Beautiful nebulas dazzled us, asteroids chased us and planets glimmered beguilingly. On about the third week we passed a planet which gave off interesting readings indicating an atmosphere that would actually have been suitable to sustain Andalite life, with the surface of the planet itself swathed in great grassy plains so that it shone a swirling green colour below us. Our life readings indicated that it supported small herbivorous quadrupeds, of little threat to us, and we stayed there for two full days, enjoying the feeling of stretching our legs and galloping in the fresh air again. Perhaps it was just fancy, but something whispered to me as we were there that this was the paradise Crayak would have led Alloran and me to had I fulfilled his plans. It saddened me to stand on a ridge with the wind in my face and the whirling of the grass in my ears to think of Alloran, cramped on the Blade ship and folded back into a box in his head. I stretched luxuriously and felt guilty enough to cry.

Arbat was attentive, kind and ever present. The Arisths kept to themselves and Tirdellan and Kipsing could have been alone on the ship as far as they were concerned. The ability to be private again, to not have to worry about where everyone was and what they were doing all the time, was absolute bliss.

And then, glinting on our viewing screen, our planet hove into view, and an indescribable joy filled me. It was so beautiful, so pure, so peaceful. It was home.

With Arbat's help we were able to evade the patrol ships regulating the atmospheres, and he landed us gently down on his lands. We stayed on them that evening, galloping under the familiar stars, whilst he went to explain our absence to the People's Command. As far as I am aware he told them a day trip to a nearby asteroid belt had turned horribly wrong when we had been ambushed by a wandering pair of Skrit Na ships. A series of invented and not too exciting adventures followed, culminating in our safe return. The People's Council barely listened to the end of his speech. What did they care about us when they had a war on their hands?

And with remarkable ease we settled back into our old lives, as if we'd never left. My lands had been annexed by a covetous neighbour in our absence, but I contested the annexation in a property court, and once I had provided proof of identity and ownership the court was swift to return them to me. The neighbour was fined heavily for their keenness – unfair perhaps as I had been absent for long enough that it really had been fair to assume I was not returning. To assuage a bit of my guilt at accepting the fine I gave the lands it entailed to Kipsing and Tirdellan jointly as a wedding gift. Perhaps that was unwise of me – Kipsing now owned his family lands as male head of the household, although he allowed Kalladin to have them as her own, and the lands on my borders. Between his two properties lay the lands of at least four families, whom I felt very sorry for, for it would not be long before his hungry eye fell on their fields and his quick mind turned to ways of closing the gap. Indeed he gave up the assassin trade publicly before our little party, swearing instead to devote himself to Tirdellan, and to amassing land for her and himself.

Farling stayed at home with me still, although he visited Lortif fairly frequently, and shortly after our return to the Andalite homeworld we acquired a lodger in the form of Medrar, who had found his family to be not so much pleased to see him return as disappointed that he had not managed to lose himself in the infinite reaches of space. He lived on our land, in a small scoop of his own on the hilly meadows I used to gallop along with Alloran, admiring the sunlight on the ridges.

Fairly frequently I found our group rejoined in my fields, as if our experiences on Earth had bound us together in a way that prevented others from coming too close. Arbat restarted his scientific work at the university, so he was my least frequent visitor, but Lortif came regularly, and Tirdellan and Kipsing were only a gallop away. After all these long years I was reunited again with Kalladin, my old friend, and I spent many days on her lands, remembering how I had brought the children here when we were all younger. She had not aged as much as I had, I think, although she was always flightier than me anyway, and her vivacity helped me to reach tentatively out of my shell towards the world. She took me to art exhibitions, to dance shows where professional morphers contorted themselves into the most beautiful forms, and I found myself enjoying life as I never had before when I hid on my lands, alone with my grief for Alloran. I took Tirdellan to one of the dance shows, and she enlisted at the end for the auditions for the training course. I was very proud when she told me she'd been accepted, and would be trained as a dancer.

And then, perhaps a year after we returned to the homeworld, when I had grown complacent and set in my routine, Arbat came to my fields to say goodbye. I was alone that day, as the Arisths had gone to watch a fighting demonstration and Tirdellan and Kipsing were busy, so that I had no one to alert me to Arbat's arrival. When I returned from my morning gallop I found him lounging outside my scoop, the soft early sunlight outlining him in a furry blue halo, _The Starwave_ gleaming in the field.

_Hak Bajeesh, _he said, giving me a small bow. I laughed, amused.

_You haven't called me that for nearly a year, Arbat! To what do I owe the pleasure of your company? I was not aware you were going to visit._

_That is because this is an impromptu visit, snatched because I must see you, _Arbat said, and now that I was closer I could see he did not look as amused as I did. My hearts thundered hard in my chest, my thoughts flicking as always to Alloran.

_Why are you here? _I asked.

_I have been commissioned to return to Earth, _Arbat said quietly. _I can not tell you the details Jahar. I only came to explain my absence to you. _Earth. My breathing halted and for a second I was back there, dancing with Visser Three on the beach, his iron grip holding my wrists, or stumbling in the Yeerk pool in my chains whilst the Yeerks jeered.

_Earth._

_Yes, Jahar. _He shifted uncomfortably. _Jahar, I can keep an eye out for Alloran if you wish it._

_For the Visser, _I said stonily.

_Yes. _Arbat said softly. He reached out very gently to touch my face. _And Jahar... I wanted to say something._

_Yes? _I was harsher and brusquer than I intended. His fingertips slid along my cheek.

_No matter what you hear of my mission, know that I will do everything in my power to keep Alloran safe, _Arbat whispered. _I will not allow the Andalites I am going to Earth with to harm him. I swear it, Jahar. For you. _I lifted my hand to his, raised it gently from my face.

_Thank you, Arbat. Have a safe journey. _He snorted gently.

_Perhaps. Ah! _He was looking at something behind me, so I turned my eye stalks back and saw a small Andalite descend from inside _The Starwave_. He, no she (a female!), was clearly of Aristh age, although I couldn't imagine what Arbat would be doing with such a young female. Arbat held out a hand to her. _I told you to stay in the ship, _he said, his tone gently reproving.

_I wanted to stretch my legs, _the female replied. I was surprised by her nerve in disobeying Arbat's orders, but perhaps I was growing old and out of touch. Arbat introduced her with a small bow.

_Jahar, may I introduce one of my companions for the voyage – Estrid-Corill-Darrath. _Estrid shuffled nervously.

_We're not meant to tell anyone we're going, _she said hesitantly. Arbat smiled indulgently, like a kindly uncle.

_In the case of Jahar, Estrid, exceptions must always be made. _Her eyes flickered to me, and for a second I caught a glimpse of something which made me shiver. I bowed to her.

_Estrid. You must be excited to be making such a long journey._

_I am more excited to achieve our goal when we arrive on Earth, _Estrid replied. I didn't press her for details. Arbat had already said I wasn't to know. He now turned to me and kissed my cheek again.

_I do not know when or even if I will return, Jahar. _On an impulse I suddenly reached forwards, clasping his face in a passionate and very un-sisterly kiss. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Estrid's cheeks flame, whilst Arbat's eyes flew open in an unguarded expression of ecstasy. I released him fairly swiftly, ending with a demure touch by sweeping my finger tips over his cheekbones.

_Goodbye Arbat. I wish you luck._

_Go back to the ship, _Arbat choked out to Estrid, his eyes dark and focussed only on me. She glowered crossly, but turned and obeyed him. He leaned forwards, his very being humming with tension. _Jahar..._

_A final goodbye kiss, to compensate for the fact that I will not touch you for a long time, _I whispered gently. I reached down and caught his arm. _But be warned, Arbat. I saw Estrid's face, just now, and I am afraid she is very much in love with you._

_Oh I highly doubt that, _Arbat scoffed, still intent on me.

_Be careful, _I warned. _She's very young. As we were once. _I had deliberately brought up the past to stop him from leaning towards me with quite such a yearning expression, and now his gaze darkened.

_I remember it well, _he murmured. _And I shall remember the lessons I learnt. Goodbye Jahar. _he shuddered a second and one hand shot up and caught me very briefly on the cheek in a brutal bruising grip. Then it dropped again and he turned and trotted to _The Starwave. Goodbye, _he called back again, his stalk eyes on me, and then he was in the ship and it lifted off swiftly. I suspected Estrid was at the controls, ripping Arbat away from me as quickly as she could. I waved as they flew up, Estrid taking them thoughtlessly into the direct sun, so that I had to turn my eyes away, and then when I looked again _The Starwave _was gone.

And I never saw Arbat again.

But a year and a half after that, I heard the news which made my hearts tremble and sigh and I galloped madly all the way to Tirdellan and Farling's scoop to tell them, shaking with joy and almost unable to control myself.

And two months after that a small transport ship flew over my fields and landed in the Eastern corner of the Gerdan grass meadow. I ran all the way out to greet it, as if I was young again, as young as I had been the first time we raced to each other, and as I closed the distance between us the door slid open in its side and a blue figure stepped out of the ship and down the ramp. For the first time in seventeen years he stood on our lands again, and I ran my eyes over him checking from a distance that he was whole and complete, and he was perfect as always, and I raced to his side screaming, _Alloran, Alloran! _and he ran to me shouting _Jahar! _and we collided and I held him for real in my arms again, with the sun smiling down on us and the blossom tickling my nose.


End file.
